₦airaland Forum

RedBenson:
Are you trying to say would love to have a taste of him considering his legendary status?

i am trying to say that if he didn't already belong to another, i would have given "having a taste of him" very intense consideration.
Do you understand?
i mean, the thought processes enclosed in the act of "tasting him" would have undergone some very VERY intense consideration.
you dig?

the Zimbabwean Dollar?
i give up!
that currency still exists? and they still regard it as a 'dollar'?

Why won't Jesus refuse to return?

My my! and here i was thinking this part of the world couldn't produce men like this one.
and so to you i raise a glass, Finally! a man worth having. it is rather unfortunate he already belongs to another.
Nevertheless, Bravo!
in another life maybe

lonngmann:
tell me about Obama's domestic policy

*falls from pineapple stump*
you are wicked aswear

lilylurv:
I said 'gaol' and not 'goal'

Gaol = old english spelling of "jail". means to confine or imprison

that was the word i was going to type. now i have to choose another

iridescent

*clears throat*

i'm not sure why i'm doing this really, because i'm not married. Have always said i won't. Therefore, i shouldn't be commenting on this thread but i feel my 2cent might add some value to the discussion, so here goes;

the issue of difficult in-laws will always persist if intending brides keep trying so hard to please as a way of gaining acceptance into their soon to be husband's family and forgetting who they are by forgoing some (if not all) of their personal principles. Typical MILs, SILs and BILs forget they are also humans and thus, are susceptible to being treated in like manner or worse when their turns do eventually come. Additionally, the Nigerian culture of depending on the eldest sibling to support the rest of the family has caused siblings to see a soon to be DIL as a competition rather than an addition to their family. Long story short, typical African mentality at play here.

My advice, as a DIL, be yourself whenever and with whomever. Where "yourself" here equates to Polite, sweet, helpful but firm and in total control.


As for a cheating husband, i totally agree with the poster above when he notes that it gives one (the person being cheated on) a sense of inadequacy and the root cause should be looked into as opposed to just damning the act.

First things first; truth is that many women saw the tell tale signs of a womanizer in their spouses and chose to ignore, hoping he would change. this case obviously points to husbands who need a little more then a therapy and deliverance session (if those are ever effectual) to work out their *hit.
Conclusion: it'll take a miracle to change

then there are men who go out of their way to cheat (as in make a conscious decision) while still loving you (or at least claiming to) wholeheartedly
He married a trophy wife and having her understand that he actually prefers a rather simple lifestyle with lots of cuddling, spontaneous getaways and maybe a bit more (a lot more actually) sex, might be a mountain he feels he "doesn't" want to climb. So? he decides to do that thing the typical male knows how to do quite well - compartmentalize-
Conclusion: He loves you (his wife) but he can still cheat and have loads of fun with the side chick and not bother you with his demons


then there are men who have the seemingly "perfect" wife and know that they do (because they went out of their way to actually get one) but they are both very sexually incompatible.
He likes it - almost always when there's time and space for it (and in varying positions too)
She likes it - almost never except it's time for making baby
When he realizes this is actually "who she is", he feels guilty if he tries to get her to become this other person she isn't. So? There's a bit of a disconnect, then one day he "accidentally" finds this chick he "connects" (well, you are both disconnected now hence the other connection) with and.......well, the rest is history.
Conclusion: He still loves you. Probably will never leave you, but he IS cheating (and will most likely continue to)


then there are men who may have suffered some infidelity from you first (yes, you! the wife) and the episode was dealt with, in that you apologized and begged and cried and he forgave you but he didn't forget (not entirely) and now he sees you as something tainted (somewhat) Try as he may but he just can't get past it. So? when a really tempting temptation comes by, he doesn't really feel obliged to resist since........well, you get the drift.


So all in all, i've counted men who have no discipline whatsoever, those who don't want to bother you (the wife), those who are very sexually incompatible with you (wife) and those who you (the wife) hurt first......when i remember more i'll update.

NB: Please forgive the somewhat flippant way i described some of the characters, I can be a very comical person sometimes. I do realize the seriousness of this thread

and you are sure this will achieve the aforementioned?

oya guys come and tell us if this is true o. because na gidibgo Op want make some women start to fight for bed ni.

mine were everyday lies but were numerous. however, there was this girl in ss1 then who said they had 8 swimming pools at home but that they were robbed and the thieves stole 2.

I die of laughter every time I remember that story. incredible thing was, we all believed her back then.

*sigh* kids tho.....

^^ yea. wow.

@Op, while there may be little or no evidence of the above mentioned "imaginary stories", It doesn't stop the millions who believe in them because for some reason, it comforts man to be, as u've so clearly shown, "deluded".

my two cents however is this; I know for sure that there exists or existed a master plan somewhere, when this entire dimension -life-was being thought out. (I guess it suffices to cast myself among the "deluded" lot seeing as there's no proof of this either)

who the master planner is ?
why he/she chose this plan?
what objective is this plan supposed to accomplish ?
when will this plan come to fruition
and what happens after this plan runs its course?
all these questions and more, we obviously do not have answers to. albeit, yet.

the way I see it, everyone has made a choice; those who believe in some doctrine or the other, those who don't believe in any, those who want (or need) proof before they believe and those who don't want or need to believe in anything at all, proof or no proof.

now, the variants of religions out there, all preach punishment and reward for disobedience and obedience, respectively. they all also tell of a God somewhere, an afterlife, and all claim they are the sure way towards getting into the good place in the afterlife.

is there an afterlife? - I guess someone has to 'die' and 'resurrect' with that info.

why were we made with a mind of our own and the ability to choose if we're just meant to tow a particular line? - o yea, I forgot, rewards and punishments. but why would I be punished or rewarded when there's no clear path to the right choice?

my summary is this: so far, the only set of people who are trying to get answers to the millions of questions that mankind is afflicted with, are scientists.

if I was God, and I created the world and indeed commanded Abraham to "go forth into the world and multiply", I'd welcome back into my arms the more productive sets of 'Abrahams'.

#my2-probably-more-cents

I was laughing so hard cos I can relate with the heart pounding and evil spirit.

No, mine wasn't out of curiosity. was more like an accident.

I lived with a weed-eating, girl-chasing colleague once in a company apartment. got home one Friday after work, looked into the fridge and saw a container of really nice smelling & looking, well arranged brownies, so I thought it was pre-ordered or from some deli mart (I shake my head now in total disbelief -looks can really be deceiving).

I took what looked like one of the smaller ones (those were the more potent ones). I munched and sang to my room but my taste buds were telling me something's not quite right. Got ready for bed anyways and slept off. I woke up sometime later - not sure what time - and the room was doing a hoola hoop spin, my heartbeat was actually doing a marathon, the bed was doing a moon walk.

the room was bright and dark at the same time so I kept trying to open my eyes even tho they were already open. my head felt like it wanted to be free, as if it was saying "take me home, I don't belong here". when I think my eyes are open, the room starts a spiral dance, i lift one hand to the wall to try to steady myself but the UFO kept evading me.

finally got my feet on the ground and even the floor was running away from me. I kept trying to put my foot down but it was like I was climbing a hill. the floor just wouldn't sit still.

infact, the rest of the story is not just nice jor. took till Sunday evening to get me straightened out. I hear it was that bad cos I'm a fish brain. Lol......one day I would never forget in my life.

btw, fish brain = drinks half bottle of Smirnoff ice and nods off.

uncle fash, while I'll commend you for the great strides you've taken to bring Lagos closer to achieving a "centre of excellence status", even if -truth be told- you're building on an already laid foundation, I'd like to add that while you're canvassing for a change in nomenclature by way of revising/amending the constitution, why don't you call for a total revision/amendment then?

everything! stripped down and rewritten to include present-day average Nigerians. we are, after all, in 2013 and that constitution still lives in 1999.

according to yuzedo, "tenk bro"

envy is an emotion and "can" be normal- true. I'm using "can" because sometimes there ain't nothing normal about envying every single good thing that happens in say a friend's life or a siblings'.

true also that women fall more victim to the destructive type of envy.

I wish however, that more of us women and indeed Nigerians- can see it for what it is, a form of weakness. the destructive type is such a weak emotion and should be consciously subdued.

its a way of telling yourself that you "cannot" be that good or intelligent or successful. so when you do eventually fail, the only person to blame here is you.

we should focus more on self-discovery, as a way to remind ourselves of what we are infinitely capable of. we're not all the same and that reality doesn't have to be such a bad thing if u know who u truly are. its not an easy journey to undertake but in the end, it will be worth it 'cos you'll be at peace with yourself and in turn, the world around you.

an education, a house, car, wife and kids are society's definition of success/happiness. which is why most people get married just because they think they 'should'. it's just society's way of inculcating individuals into a group with set laws/guidelines that form cultures and pave the path for people to succumb/adhere to.

Fulfillment however, is a different paradigm all together, it involves self sufficiency, peace and contentment in the knowledge of ones' abilities and even disabilities. it's that level you attain in life where you're no longer after materials things. you seldom have any fears. you're totally in control of who and what you are. you revel in the solemn truth of what you're infinitely capable of because you know that you are filled with possibilities far beyond human comprehension. it's a quiet assurance that you're here, and that you would strive to let generations after you, know that you were indeed, here.

purpose
meaning
contentment
inner strength and beauty
courage
......and life.

instead of living a life, so many people exist in life.
Don't make that mistake. you'll wake up one day and ask yourself the very bitter question; "what am i doing here?"

yuzedo: I clicked on the thread, first thing i noticed was "Am" rather than "I'm", nna, i just stop to dey read.

Op, Yuzedo sits to take a pee cos his doctor asked him not to carry anything heavy, how the hell do u expect him to do the translation from 'am' to 'I'm'?

Op must be a wicked someborry.

yuze honey? nwamama? sweetus 'm? oyoyo nwa mommy? don't mind him o? continue with the other thread about tonto d*ick-a o? and don't forget your Vaseline dear. remember what the doctor said, "glide up, glide down" nice and easy baby. can u do that for mommy?

rigormortis: do this dumb h03s even know the meaning of serenade?................some will probably think its an agreement to pay before s3x............................

but for the few less dumb ones, they might just serenade you with

1. chop my your money

2. throw it in the bag

3. every other dumb song used by ignorant musicians to deceive them into living in their own elusive utopian self mastubatrily narcisstic world

Nna mehnnn!....who do u this thing? e no go better for that person. sorry e ye? should I selenaid you?

not a Nigerian ad, I think it was a Swedish or a Russian ad for a shoe freshener.

scene: *rolls classic music*
a guy sits in this majestic living room watching TV with a wine glass in one hand and a daily in the other. the camera rolls from his expensive looking cuff links, tailored suit, down to his expensive looking shoes which was resting on a fox-simulated fur foot mat.

next thing, he uses one foot to pull the shoe from the other foot and rests them on the fur mat......the classic music gets distorted while the foot mat slowly crawls away.

I died of laughter.

did that once over the phone, he swore he wasn't going to laugh but he did. even used it as his "comic" ring tone for a while sef

I'm so heart broken

"too much financial independence results in feministic tendencies", "women should be financially independent so that they can be respected"

damned if u do, dammed if u don't. guys which way na? lol......

@topic; women! you're a lot more than just a pretty face and a nice *ass. you've got potential (plenty) and u should explore all of it. life is a whole lot more than getting an education and clinging to a man as a life support thereon.

however, with financial independence just like every other status in life, comes dignity, respect and humility. if u respect yourself, u'll never disrespect other people (unreasonably) talk more your "better half".

ask for forgiveness now. how dare u compare the only indomitably incredible MC Africa has, to a local champ like sarkodie? wetin the guy know say im dey talk? wetin YOU know say im dey talk? do you understand twi? if u did, u'd know he ain't spitting shi*t.

please rap is a whole lot more than "figidi fagada". that's all I hear when I listen to him. he's got some swag no doubt, but to compare him to MI is just pure blasphemy.

and PS, you shouldn't even compare him to phyno or olamide. these guys are light years away from him - I'm not hating now. just fact.

words I never said - Lupe fiasco ft Skylar grey

Letter from Limbo.

To all Nigerians whom it may concern,


I was in class when he walked up to me, "you'll be mine" he breathed against my cheeks. raw anger gnawed at my insides as Alero locked eyes with mine and slowly shook her head from side to side.

later that night, I staggered thru the maze that led to my hostel, trying to accept the fact that I'd just been raped. with vibrating feet, i walked. shaking hands, quivering lips and a million prayers in my heart. a million prayers unfortunately, was not the price to pay for unwanted pregnancy. I chose not to be the bearer of bad tidings and opted for the knife. it haunted me. I see em in my dreams but I can't and will never have children.



Friday's paper was going to be one of Bruno's last in school as final year was seemingly and thankfully becoming final. the shot came from nowhere as students scattered in all directions. nobody saw anything. and alas! Bruno attained final status even before the year could.


fast forward 4years after his death, and it turns out "the faceless shooter" will now guard the community in which Bruno's (still grieving) family resides, against kidnapping and armed robbery.

Touché!

who will help send a message to Bruno? tell him his family is in safe hands now. his murderer has turned a new leaf.

and oh, why not send me a telegram as well. one that reaches the limbo I'm in atm. I took my life when my husband finally convinced me that being a man, when infact I was meant to be a woman, is more grievous a sin than blasphemy. he brought his mistress home. I burned down the house-with everything and everyone in it. *shrugs*

Nigeria will get better. hopefully when I come out of limbo.


Yours truly, now and always.
Citizen of limbo.

lmaoooo

NL no go kee pelzon o.

Nne biko is it suppose to mean anything? darling, please educate us o. before we go just dey for Nigeria dem go come carry all of us commot.

gini ka aya kpo kwa nka? end time tinz abi ASUU?

Arosa: I know that eating poo will be useful someday.

LMAO

have u been dreaming about eating your poo?

or are u one of those kids that never quite made the transition from fascinating about poo to seeing it for what it truly is, poo?

its a harmless question bro. No offeinse-according to yuzedo

ariseandshine: Any unity that is not based on the Word of God (The Holy Bible) is a false unity and will not stand.


What communion does Ishmael have with Isaac?

Oga, we know that your God is the one and true God, but that same God admonishes you to be tolerant of others and most of all, not to judge.

I'm sure ur faith will be better strengthened if u observe these two commandments in everything you do.

Shalom bro!

A Huge positive coming from Pakistan of all places. Our diversity should be the reason for our solidarity.

I just hope this teaches their muslim brothers and sisters in other parts of the world that violence is never a just cause, be it for man or "God".

rockbase360: He doesn't need the permission of any dam OBI to campaign. This is not 1732. It's 2013. All he needed was a permit from the police.....Sick and tired of all these traditional rulers. They are the real problems of nigeria..

Finally!! someone with THE God-given kind of sense.

why don't we continue to adhere to a lot of the useless customs and traditions of our forefathers? why did we stop the OSU caste system? or the killing of twins?

this is politics, and politics in present day Nigerian Democratic dispensation, NOT agwo turu mbe and ummunna community.


whether Ngige, or other "wanna-be" Anambra governorship aspirants, may the right man for the job win.

Nothing, absolutely nothing is as beautiful as a woman who takes up courage to stare into the face of the furnace threatening to consume her.

I salute you today Nike, because u have shown extraordinary strength throughout a lifetime of unimaginable pain.

whether she decided to talk about it then or now, most important thing is that she made the decision, a lot of people would be better of today and in the future as a result of her sacrifice.

we need to learn to start dealing with our problems by taking the first step which is talking about them, instead of hiding behind the garment of shame society threatens us with.

society is just a concept, in reality what you have are real people, living real lives, going through real problems.

OluwaDrey: So what are we supposed to do with this info? Stop voicing our thoughts to them?

No. just to let u know how ridiculous those questions are.

@title of thread: it should be phrases webmasters/programmers hate NOT graphic designers.

@topic: lol...very true. people should realize that IT is not magic neither is it car tricks. try going to a hospital (a good hospital not the quack ones) and telling the doctor how to treat u. i bet u he'd feel just like the op does at this precise moment.

approach it like a business deal and pay him/her his/her worth.
you would have done it yourself if u could but cos u can't, you're asking someone else to do it for you. therefore, allow him/her do the job without all the whining.

Nuff said, nyt nyt.

Buoyantic: This post has been hiding

Mods, this post has been hiding and is still hiding oo, please tell it to stop hiding, we want to see it.

Lol.....

Okija_juju: Is Toke's Black knee as a result of;

1. Bleaching gone bad

or

2. Being on her knees _{Whilst some dude is hitting that flatass from behind} too much..

Okija juju how "unflat" is your own ass?

And why is it a problem for you if another guy hits her "flat ass" from behind?

Mouthpiece of the gods, you are no longer as faithful and dedicated as u used to be o.

I've been waiting for u with my offering for the gods at Okija shrine and u are here checking out Toke's ass and knees.

delinb: I expect intelligent response from you guys but the reverse is the case. If you are married then you will understand my point. We African men have ego so try and put urself in my shoe.

@Op, you are clueless.
this is why some people should never get married. he doesn't even understand why or where all the cynicism is coming from.

a man is not a man just because he has a prick, he is a man because he understands that being the leader also means being a servant.

Ewu Gambia!

jude33084: MumU

No need for insults mister. Not everyone is as dumb as resorting to insults even before making his/her opinion known. Did you understand my post or are you just seeking attention? Do you require the R-E-T-A-R-D ALERT?
what seems to be the problem Jude? Does the word "Amnesty" get your rocks off?