₦airaland Forum

Maybe both parties should stop everything that has been happening between them. Nothing more embarrassing than ending your own relationship for no fault of yours and give way for your parent and "could-be in-law" to the altar.
Supposing they decide to put an end and you go ahead with your own wedding plans, you wouldn't be able to look into your in-law's eye and respect him/her in their capacity for a long long time. Not to mention the awkwardness during birthdays, festivities, get togethers etc etc when your parent and this in-law has to face each other. So itz best both parties drop the matter.

However, if someone has to go on then I guess the younger ones have to give up their relation for the older ones as it may not be easy for them to find love as easily as the youngsters.

Wives these days ! Just read a thread where a wife doesn't want to bring her husband abroad because of his low qualification and now this one!

@ Topic
Maybe the man should issue an ultimatum. If she is still not bothered, let him start looking for another wife.

Get out of the room ASAP with my properties leaving her to settle the bills (that should be more enjoyable than the one she had with her BF). She dosen't get a chance for explanation/forgiveness as she was looking forward to more trysts. Once I reach home, I summon her folks, inform them about their daughter's act of benevolence and then proceed to obtain a divorce.

ok, I'm talking, listen

Are you talking about your friend's unborn kids here

[quote author=rita@NL link=topic=600027.msg7685836#msg7685836 date=1297110992]she is one of those women that belivs you only have sex for baby makin purposes,so she's not cheating on her husband. she has no kids yet but pregnant..[/quote][quote author=rita@NL link=topic=600027.msg7691477#msg7691477 date=1297180272]She decides to talk to the husband , if the hubby is not ready to upgrade himself when he gets here, she said she will take her kids and relocate back to 9jia to go train her kids and she will start business in 9jia and they can always come for vacation here,instead of staying here and having to take up two Jobs and at the end of the day,she will still  not have take for the kids. She said after talking to her husband today, she will send the document tomorow and whatever her husbands decision is,she will know she tried her best to make him know,he needs education to be able to earn more abroad.[/quote]

@ Topic

WTF will be my first reaction. Sister/friend gets a tight slap and kick on her back side before I throw her out of my house. Husband gets a chance to explain. Further course of action depends on how credible his excuse is.

@OP

Buy one of those "gift pack for men" thingies you see in supermarkets. They normally contain a deo, an after shave, a perfume etc etc.  They don't cost much too.

^^^ U supporting her decision to cheat on her husband?

@Nottheone

Maybe you being white has nothing to do with it. MAYBE. This is just a universal thing. Haven't you heard things like this in your country as well? We can't please everybody in this world. Just let things the way they are without going overboard to impress all and sundry. Your post shows you have an understanding, supportive husband and that is what matters at the end of the day.

@ OP

I perfectly understand you my dear. I was even surprised to see how the thread grew from discussing your driver to criticizing your husband's carelessness and your selfishness !
Well, hope you have a safe delivery and congrats in advance on your bundle of joy !

OP, why did they decide to discuss this with you. Assuming you are not married, what sort of solution did they expect from you?
Anywayz moving on to the issue, what was the woman's reaction to these allegations? If they are true, she would have several reasons starting from infidelity to health issues. The man has to first sit down and talk with his wife and try to find out the cause before he starts gisting younger men about his sorrows. Btw, your uncle is wicked o! Did he really have to stop giving feeding money to teach her a lesson?

@ Poster

Been there done that. DO NOT TRUST HIM & DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK.
If you need to get rid of the guilt, send someone trustworthy over to his neighbourhood and find out whether his wife truly had a miscarriage or whether it is a cooked up story.
But I suggest you stay away from all of this wahala and if he calls back, just tell him the vacany has been filled and that you will get in touch with him if you/someone u know needs a driver.

@ OP

Don't you think it is easier to toss a coin and see whether you should cheat or not ? Do you normally take a poll before you date/court/cheat or is this the first time?
Also, do you advertise for the guys or just pick any random guy you see on the road ?

Jeez ! Indeed sick woman !

@Nekai

Congrats !!! They are so cute. May god shower blessings on these two lil munchkins and their mom! See how these little ones can change your world with just a smile !

@ OP
I totally agree with you and would also suggest that a couple should opt for just 2 kids, max 3 if you are financially well off.
Whilst managing home, career, yearly addition to the family and zillion other things most parents lose out on the focal point of having a baby, the joy of raising a child.
Infact, I have often wondered how careless some parents are. They just keeping on having kids every year for no apparent reason. Finally when they find it difficult to provide a decent life for these kids, each of them are forced to fend for themselves.

@ Topic

She can, provided the guy is a sissy !

essti:
I WILL SPOIL WHO I FINALLY GET TO FALL IN LOVE WITH,BELIEVE ME AM A REAR GUY TO FIND

Really?

Atrocious !!!! There is nothing more mortifying than having to accept your in-law as your parent's spouse !

@ OP  What makes you think she loves you when she cannot forget her ex ? Only because she can't wait to have your babies ?
   Read your question from a third person's perspective and see for yourself how she is making a fool out of you.

It is impolite !

Are you serious ?
If you are take a chill pill. Itz not a big deal.

First of all, report 3hrs before the departure time.
You will see your flight's counter once you are in the airport. You need to check in your baggage there and show your passport& ticket at the counter to obtain your boarding pass (be careful not to lose this one o )
You will be guided further to immigration and security points (don't worry, there will be people to guide you )
You will know your flight's gate number ( be careful about this one too lest you want to board wrong flight. Lagos is not an issue since the airport is not too big)
When the passengers are asked to start boarding ( normally 50-45 minutes before departure), you just join the queue and board your flight.
Once you are inside the flight, the attendants should be able to help you to locate your seat. Bon Voyage !

N.B : Please be careful about what you carry in your baggage, esp your hand baggage.

Chikaloma

@Topic - I wouldn't even consider this as  friendship since you have admitted that you "have tiptoed around her careful not to annoy her". Looks like you have been quite docile and submissive around this woman. Give her time to realize her mistake. If she values the relation she has with you, she has to come back. Otherwise, leave the whole thing behind and move on. Life could be much better without people like her around you.


@ obowunmi

She did not sound like someone who wanted to start off some tribe issue. What would you have said if  Delta and Yoruba were replaced with America and Britain or China and Japan ? Try not to read in between lines.

bidemi12:
Your friend in SE asia is the exception to the rule. courtship before marriage is like oxygen to life

I also mentioned most people in that country gets married that way.

deco2come:
Courtship doesn't take away the freshness of your marriage. If dating a lady for about 5 years will take away the freshness, what will happen after 8 years of marrying a lady without dating her；Do you think the freshness will also die?

The fact is this, marriage is like a two side blade, you might get the sharper side. Dating or no dating doesn't guarantee a joyful marriage. It boils down to getting the right person.

I never said one should never date and it is absurd to marry a total stranger. I feel the courtship period shouldn't be long enough for 2 people to get bored with each other. Say for example, a couple dates each other for 10 years ( they have wasted a gud part of their life that way) and then you get married for the sake of getting married. So whatz new ?? A change in  title from being BF and GF to husband and wife ! And say there's your anniversary/birthday coming up, you obviously know what your wife/husband is planning for you. You have a problem, you know for sure what the spouse's solution would be. You are planning a holiday, you know what the choice would be. And moreover there is also a hidden trap in courtship. You date someone for an year or two, find out the person is not compatible, leave him/her. Try another one, not compatible, try next, not compatible, by the time you find your mr/ms right you don pass tokunbo    S

@topic

Not necessarily, I have a friend from SE Asia who never dated and had an arranged marriage. They have a perfect family and is almost married for 2 decades. She says majority of their people have arranged marriage and surprisingly most of them are happy too.

I personally think courtship takes away that freshness from your marriage. Everything is predictable and there is nothing to look forward to when you know your partner in and out. If arranged marriages seem barbaric, it is best to keep the courtship period short.

While it is almost natural for a mother to boast about her child, it is definitely impolite to ask someone's kid to follow your own's footsteps.

Infact it is boring to keep on hearing 'my kid is that and my kid is this' from someone. If your kid has truly achieved something worth boasting about, it would be best to keep the declaration short and sweet.

REALITY101:
9. You’re in the toilet when someone knocks on the door asking: - Is anyone in there?
A: No! The poo is talking to you!

Ethiodime:
Bossy members should be shunned, ignored and avoided at all cost.

Characteristics of bossy members include:

1. They act as if they are the mods of this site

2. From the moment they log in to the moment they log out they exhibit a b!tch like behavior.
3. They mainly pick on (members) that flirt with the cyber characters they love.

4. They act intellectual when in reality they are s.t.u.p.i.d.

5. They run and log off when they are confronted.

6. Most of them have low self esteem.

7. They like being on the spotlight.

8. Last but not least, they either have that ONE cheerleader - who stays online to defend them when they run.

Signatured!

EthioDime!

I totally agree with you !!!

clem2love:
To my greatest surprice while sleeping my wife cal dis guy name AROMATICALY

clem2love:
Now she insult me and support the guy with my resouces.

Please explain, how did she insult you?

Isn't there a mistake in the subject? Shouldn't it be uncle's wife's niece / father's brother's wife's niece ?


@Topic
Since the subject of your love is in no way your blood/immediate relative, there shouldn't be a problem.

@Rokiatu

Glad to know I've got company, google 'harman baweja' and see if the guy reminds you of someone.