"I ate 3 plates of beans (which I
know I
shouldn't). When I got to my
fiancé's place
for dinner,he seemed excited to
see me and
exclaimed delightedly "Darling I
have a
surprise for you tonight". He then
blindfolded me and led me to my
chair at the
dinning table. I took a seat and
just
as he
was about to remove my blindfold,
the
telephone rang. He made me
promise not to
touch the blindfold until he
returned and
went to answer the call.
The beans I had consumed was still
affecting me and the pressure was
becoming unbearable, so while my
fiancé was out of the room I seized
the
opportunity, shifted my weight to
one leg
and let one go. It was not only
loud,
but it
smelled like a fertilizer truck
running over a
skunk in front of a garbage dump! I
took my
napkin from my lap and fanned the
air
around me vigorously. Then,
shifting to the
other leg, I ripped off three more.
The stink
was worse than cooked cabbage.
Keeping
my ears carefully tuned to the
conversation
in the other room, I went on
releasing
atomic bombs like this for another
few
minutes. The pressure was
indescribable!
Eventually the telephone farewells
signaled
the end of my freedom, so I
quickly fanned
the air a few more times with my
napkin,
placed it on my lap and folded my
hands
back on
it feeling very relieved and
pleased
with
myself.
My face must have been the
picture of
innocence when my fiancé
returned,
apologizing for taking so long. He
asked me
if I had peeped through the
blindfold, and I
assured
him I had not. At this point, he
removed the
blindfold.
To my utmost surprise, twelve
dinner guests
including his Mum and Dad were
seated
around the table, with hands
holding their
noses..

michaelobinna:
I am aware that naturally pink, seductive lips can make the opposite sex fall for you ten times over, makes you appear more attractive. I am also aware that getting one’s lips pink doesn’t come easy; some people are born with it while most are not. People spend huge sums of money to get their lips pink. A friend told me that some guys under Ikeja bridge will offer to help you get pink lips for N1,500, and guess what? It is fake! Five days after, your lips will go back to normal.

Having pink lips is now a craze, a fad, most especially among young people..I mean, we young people. So because of this, I decided to search the internet for natural ways to get one’s lips pink and seductive with no side effect at all. Read it below..

Aloe Vera
Massage your lips with aloe-vera gel for treating dry lips, removing dirt and lightening lips complexion. Antioxidants in aloe gel are very effective in lightening dark lips and making it pink. Take some aloe gel and gently massage it to lips for 15 minutes and then wash it off using warm water.

[bLemon[/b]
Since lemon is a natural cleanser, it cleans the dirt on lips, making it look rosy. Citric acid in lemon acts as a bleaching agent for skin. Take fresh lemon juice and rub it to your lips. This will help to clean your lips and vitamin C present in lemon lightens the lips making it pink. Orange juice and peels are also rich in vitamin C which is useful in lightening dark lips.

Milk Cream
Milk cream is full of nutrients and moisture that make it one of the best remedy for lightening the complexion of lips. Take some milk cream and add rose petals to it. Now allow it to cool in refrigerator for 20 minutes. Remove it and gently massage it to the lips. Now let it rest on lips for 15 minutes and then wash it. Milk and rose petal mixture will make your lips pink in a few days.

Olive Oil Mixed With Honey and Lemon
Olive oil mixed with honey and lemon juices makes lips red and gives it a seducing effect. Olive oil is rich in vitamin E and moisture that make lips glowing and soft. Apply this oil to lips before sleeping and repeat it for some days. Soon you will notice that your lips are turning pink.

Cucumber
Cucumbers are rich in skin lightening properties and lots of water that help to make lips moist and pink. Take cucumber slice and keep it on lips daily for 15 minutes.

And Lastly…
A mixture of beetroot and carrot paste can be applied to lips to give it an attractive shade.

Things To Avoid

Smoking should be avoided. Smoking not only deteriorates health, but also makes lips dark.

Avoid drinking excess of tea and coffee. Caffeine is an important factor for dark lips.

Avoid licking lips as this can make lips dry and chapped.

PS:
Eat skin nourishment food with minerals to make lips beautiful. Fruits and vegetables are a good source of vitamins and minerals that nourishes our skin.

Drinking 8 glasses of water every day will help to keep lip skin soft and prevent it from dying.

so having pink lips is now a criteria for attracting the opposite sex ryte

aguizm:
My bro kuzee I went on sabbatical for sometime. I was almost sacked from work because of my addiction to nairaland,especially pet section. My dog is doing great.

u dnt mean it

OP u on point ..... I swear

lasstropinky:
Am on it again... here to expose the Ladies on their secret way of admiring guys.Let's get it done

1. VOICE: If you have such a thin,rythmic all the way Lovely voice it takes small time You get many admirers from the Lady's crew.

2. ACCENTS: A Prof once asked a guy if he truly was a graduate. Why? because he said the guy spoke English like a farmer. Good accent makes you unique and uniqueness earn you a lot of admiration from the Lady's crew.

3.TALENT: You ever wonder why Ladies keep falling for Davido or why 2baba dey impregnate anything impregnatable? it's talent. Two talents Ladies admire in guys are Dancing and Singing. I have the latter.

4. BRILLIANCY: No much explanation brilliancy is an automatic door for admiration.

5. CALMNESS : She just keep staring at you as you sat down there in perfect Calmness and Gentleness in the face of Trouble.

even Davido knows that "owo ni ko ko ma lo nogere"

lasstropinky:
Am on it again... here to expose the Ladies on their secret way of admiring guys.Let's get it done

1. VOICE: If you have such a thin,rythmic all the way Lovely voice it takes small time You get many admirers from the Lady's crew.

2. ACCENTS: A Prof once asked a guy if he truly was a graduate. Why? because he said the guy spoke English like a farmer. Good accent makes you unique and uniqueness earn you a lot of admiration from the Lady's crew.

3.TALENT: You ever wonder why Ladies keep falling for Davido or why 2baba dey impregnate anything impregnatable? it's talent. Two talents Ladies admire in guys are Dancing and Singing. I have the latter.

4. BRILLIANCY: No much explanation brilliancy is an automatic door for admiration.

5. CALMNESS : She just keep staring at you as you sat down there in perfect Calmness and Gentleness in the face of Trouble.

even davido knows that "owo ni koko"

lefulefu:

sauceny:
>:

you so hilarious

tanchu

naijaboiy:
Some people just don't know how to copy and paste

pls cum and lecture me on how to copy and paste

EricRichie:
*smokes weed


So now, Op in your mind, you want me to read that textbook up there right?

*puffs weed

Okay

Smh




EricRichie

UjSizzle:
Figured the title would get your attention This is really more of my opinion than some fact, so I'm hoping we'll be able to discuss 'intelligently'. I'll keep this straight and simple though , so you don't need to worry about reading an epistle.

I'm a strong advocate for understanding why people act the way they do because it is truly the only way to tolerate and deal with them. So lets discuss the over flogged topic of Nigerian women and their supposed love of money .

Why are 'Nigerian women' money conscious?
Really the answer isn't far fetched: They are simply pursuing happiness.

Being happy is really the summary of all a woman wants, but happiness as we know is subject to individuals; what makes A happy maybe different from what makes B happy.

Now while some may say that a woman should be happy with a man who loves her, we might want to ask ourselves: Is love really enough? Can you trust an emotion that can be so easily extinguished just as quickly as it was sparked?
Money is the next best thing after love. Seriously, lets not deceive ourselves here, money makes the world go round. And who says it can't buy you happiness?
To people who are superficial(and that's not a crime), money is happiness. Even to the less superficial ones, it does have the same effect.

Now men, you really didn't think i was going to spare you, did you?
If you believe Nigerian women are gold diggers, it is because consciously, unconsciously or subconsciously you made them so.
I was having a discussion with a friend some months back, and she said she couldn't marry an Igbo man who grew up in Anambra(sorry my brothers). She had a really good reason for that if i may say. Men who go after money with such tenacity believe that it is the only way to please their woman. I don't know who taught you that you could substitute yourself with your wealth, but so far it's worked, and now that the women are following what will supposedly please them(make them happy) you complain. Aren't you the most confused beings alive? We'll leave your confusion for another discussion.

So in essence, every woman wants happiness. Some find it in self fulfilment, others find it in love, and yet others find it in materiality.
You can't really blame a person for what they believe will keep them happy, the best you can do is change their mindset. It is really about orientation, what they have been led to believe. Some believe their happiness is tied to someone(a man or woman) or something(possibly the good things of life that only money can buy), while others believe happiness comes from within. I say to each man his own after all there are those who have trusted in love and your potentials and yet nothing good had come of it that they gradually start to resent you. You really can't blame a person for wanting substance, can you?

If men really believe there is more to them than their money(for the few who have some faith in themselves) then it is time to start showing these women those hidden treasures that can make them happy. Until you can successfully do that, please chase after your money and let the women chase after you, and stop complaining

.

Nigerian men are not necessaryly cheaters/Unfaithful .... They just crave sexual satisfaction..... "The more the merrier"

“Nigerian men are chronically
unfaithful.”
“Nigerian women are
materialistic.”
These are two of the most common
phrases in any conversation about
relationships in Nigeria. I’m
exploring the validity of those
statements.
Nigerian men complain about the
materialism of Nigerian women,
apparently our women are totally
consumed with thoughts of money;
of course no Nigerian man cares
about cash. They’ll tell you that
a Nigerian girl, especially the
Lagos girl, falls in love with
your wallet before she even looks
at you. When I first heard this
complaint, I felt so bad for our
men. Poor kiddos, how could they
cope dealing with these greedy
materialistic girls? I mean I know
I’ve definitely judged Nigerian
girls harshly. College girls from
struggling families have two
hundred and fifty thousand Naira
(plus) weaves, the latest
smartphones, and expensive trips
abroad, I know it’s their pocket-
money doing all that. As I’ve
grown older, I’ve gotten kinder,
and less judgmental(here’s
hoping).
On the flip side, Nigerian women
moan about the legendary
infidelity of Nigerian men,
Nigerian men can’t be trusted.
Listening to the variety of
stories about the men is
absolutely petrifying; some get
engaged to two women at the same
time, others take mistresses on
their honeymoon, placing them in
the same hotel as their wives,
while others maintain two families
or sleep with the maids and
nannies. Unfortunately, these
stories aren’t fiction; we all
have a few of them in our families
or our close circle of friends.
It’s enough to make a girl
reconsider getting into this thing
called marriage.
Since moving back I’ve had some
experiences that have made me
rethink who gets the blame in this
messy situation. Recently a friend
was talking about setting me up;
apparently he had a number of
single friends who would be ideal
for me. Call me a skeptic, but I
was surprised that he knew so many
people who I could have fulfilling
relationships with, not because
I’m difficult or anything of
course. His answer was that they
all had really well-paying jobs.
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t
want to be with an ambition-less
pauper, but I think there are many
other qualities beyond a well-
paying job that make someone a
potential partner, like that pesky
thing called compatibility.
However, in his experience
security is the first thing a
Nigerian girl asks about.
I’ve been on the receiving end of
Nigerian men both young and old
trying to throw money at me. Yet
when you refuse their blatant
offerings, and try to find out
more about them, they are
uncooperative but they’ll complain
about materialistic women. I’ve
heard multiple times that the
majority of Nigerian women are
unintelligent and unable to have
decent conversations. This is
generally said as a back-handed
compliment to me, others in the
same vein say things like “you
have beauty and brains”, as though
the two are incompatible.
Apparently women just talk about
movies, celebrities and make-up.
Hearing this you would think these
men are coming up with the
solutions to Syria and Nigeria’s
problems in their daily chats.
Nah, generally they are discussing
football, PS3 and if you are
lucky, how to make money. I find
these comments extremely insulting
and not flattering in the least. I
for one have never noticed a
marked deficit in female
intelligence among my friends and
casual acquaintances, if the only
women they encounter are
unintelligent, the problem might
be with their selection criteria
not women in general. I’ve had as
many terrible conversations with
men as with women. This paragraph
is brought on by a recent
experience I had on a “date”, my
date asked a question regarding
some of my future academic
pursuits. As I began to answer the
question with the seriousness I
felt it deserved, I noticed he
wasn’t paying attention; he was
looking down and chatting on his
phone, how rude. This was the same
guy who had previously commented
on the lack of intelligent
conversations. Ironic eh?
I’ve spent a good bit of time
considering both angles and I’ve
reached a conclusion, it’s
truthfully a chicken and the egg
situation. Are the women
materialistic because they realize
that’s all they can depend on the
men for? Are the men unfaithful
because they are with women who
choose them for only for what’s in
their pocket? Do men present the
situation to be used through their
own laziness? They rather flash
their bank cards than spend time
courting a women learning about
her interests and what makes her
tick. Do women simply utilize the
opportunities presented to them by
men? Are both men and women simply
not just using each other?
After interacting with Nigerian
men and women, I’ve decided that
this system is mutually beneficial
for the active players. The men
get bought women who are so
desperate for money that they’ll
do anything to stroke their man’s
ego. These women will turn a blind
eye to all their misbehavior, and
accept crappy treatment from them.
The women on their part have
embraced the ideology of “it’s as
easy to love a rich man as a poor
man.” As long as they are kitted
out in the latest designers, get
to travel abroad and drive nice
cars, life is good. I only feel
bad for those who are genuinely
searching for love, for that
person that completes them. 60% of
Nigerians are looking to be
married just to be, 30% consider
marriage to be their meal ticket
and the remaining 10% (probably an
overly generous estimate) are
sincerely searching for love. Yes,
these stats are just randomly
thrown out from my brain, but I
don’t think the results would be
different if I performed a
rigorous scientific study. I’d
love to hear if y’all agree or
disagree.
Have a blessed week.

MsBliss:
you think so?

Thatz just the Gospel Truth

A LADY'S phone INBOX
1..I luv u dear (EHIS )
2..Can i take u out tonite?
(Andrew)
3..I always feel bad when I see u
with
another man (MOSES)
4.. Sweetie don't forget d trip
(MD)
5..Darling, av u seen d credit I
sent u?
(Collins)
6..Honey, I will do whatever it
takes just for
U to be by my side (Samuel)
7..Consider it done (Senator)
8..Baby, check ur a/c bal and call
me back
(Chairman)
A GUY'S PHONE INBOX:....
1..Your data bundle will soon
expire (MTN)
2..Hey dude, give me a break! I
told U Am
getting married(Jane)
3..Don't u dare call me again,
cheat
(jumoke)
4..Am warning u 4 the last tym oo
(Landlord)
5..Brother am still expecting the
money for
the admission form (young bro)
6..My son, how re you? Please send
us
some money (Mama)
7..I have not seen my period for 2
months
(Ijeoma)..
8... DEAR CUSTOMER, RECHARGE UP
TO....
TRUE OR FALSE??

MsBliss:

Fine

If what I want is to be chaste for my husband ,I will still be tagged proud and 'forming hard to get'. on the other hand,if I wanna live a carefree life and enjoy myself , my next name will soon become 'you know nah'

the ealier u realize that you cant please every1 the beta for you

MsBliss:
What do guys really want?
A lady turns down the guys coming to her for relationship and you say she is forming hard to get.
She accepts every guy that comes to her with open arms and donates herself to every dick and harry like she is a philanthropist and the same guys will still call her disrespecful names like bitch or whor/e .
A lady who turn down guys knows that most of them are only after sex and she tries as much as she can to defend her dignity While some other girls see nothing wrong in exploring the explorable still the same guys who condemn the former will still condemn the later. Smh for most guys cos you guys don't know what you really want. Until when you guys start knowing what you want,the world won't be a better place.

the question here should be what do you want?


once you figure it out.......................go out and get it

OrlandoOwoh:
"my second look into the world shows that ihe emebiowo."

Nna truly trully "ihe emebikwala"

There are other things that should attract a guy towards a lady, such as the level of education she has attained, her wit, a talent she has, the way she relates with people, a vocational skill she has acquired, her wealth,

how many girls/women in nigeria has the above aforementioned qualities.... all dey are after is how to improve/increase their sex appeal

adrainuche:
Its been more than a year since I started dating my present GF and money seems to be one of the major problem in our relationship ... There's no need to know which part of Nigeria she's from

Previously I send her money at will or when she asks but I noticed it was becoming too rampant and sometimes recursive, so I decided to place her on monthly allowances .

Another problem has boiled out she says she wants
30k per month so in 12 months (NVM) although to me its a bit better because previously am sure I send her more than 30k a month, ...

So please I want to know if its a good idea for one to place his GF on monthly allowances and how much is ideal I once insisted I slash her monthly allowance to 20 or 15k monthly but she nearly killed me

Some of my friends feel its a bad idea that it seems too formal like as if dating me is a job, she's 21 and am 23 , we are both in university tho I don't study in naija presently ...



Am sure some Elderly Folks may find this insipid am honestly sorry

fast foward to when she becomes ur wife>>> how much allowance will u be giving her

“La cram La Pour”

hmmmmmmmm

i see massive cut down in wages and allowances of civil servants and public office holders








baba no dull am ooooooooooooooooo

Godfullsam:
The kind of names people give their children nowadays

What is the meaning of Maximiliano for God's sake .
Soon, you will hear names like Intermillan

u no like name an juventus

We kissed,
He pushed me in bed,
He told me I shouldn't be scared,
He told me I shouldn't feel bad.
My Virginity Was lost
I told him I wanted everything perfect,
He told me evrythng was right,
Why didn't I felt right,
Damn he was a pervert.
My Virginity Was lost.
He kissed me while throwing my
clothes on the floor,
He locked the door,
He told me not to scream,
This was like a dream,
My Virginity Was lost.
Blood scatted in the bed,
I took my pants and belt,
I felt sick and bad.
My Virginity Was Lost.
He said to me,
Thanks for the service,
You may now leave my section,
As threw me my bag,
These words I shall remember,
He left me with an infant,
Few months past,
He died of Aids,
Meaning I had it too,
My virginity Was Lost.
He played me.
He used me as his tool,
How can he be so cruel,
I thought he was cool,
Damn I was a fool,
My virginity Was Lost.....
Dear Ladies BE WISE.. Share to enlighten
others too!
Thanks..

Wahala dey ooooOoooooooo

onila:
yea, so everyday I imagine screwing him

or rather, you screwing him already everyday

dickrider:
[size=18pt]I HATE NL BECOS TOO MANY SEX STARVED IDDIOTS ARE HERE TO FRUSTRATE LADIES [/size]

When a whole "dickrider" cumz complaining about sex starved men on nairaland...... Then u know that this mata don enter another dimension

Sex sells

#fact

Beyounce has done more than dis....

buygala:
At your age and with your machete tie, you can't ask a girl out


No offence...



CAN YOU EVEN FUCCK?

i doubt if he can even buy gala

kitnah:
Okay,someone posted this on twitter with the caption 'major attribute of a real man,unlike some broke ass dude',and bingo,they all went ballistic on her.

Now,the question is 'do you agree with this'??

Cc
Rokiatu
Lala247
Mirexxx
briee

abi she don see my paycheque ni

Lala247:


His woman is his family
80% woman 10% family 10% himself ..

where does 10% tithe goes and atleast 10% savings goes

mirexxx:
[b]1. "I don't have a girlfriend/Wife".

oh yeah? Well you sure look like you do


2. "I'm not drunk".
dude, we can smell the stench on your breath from here. give us a break!

3. "I'm not looking for a relationship right now".

Translation: "I'm not looking for a
relationship with YOU right now."
That's OK. We're on to the next one

4. "I don't want to talk about it."
If the most common lie women tell is,
"I'm fine," the male version is, "I
don't want to talk about it." Yes, you
do. In fact, you already are.

5. "I'm not interested in you just
for the sex."
I see. We should probably do stuff
other than, you know, have sex. If
that's the case.

6. "I always wear a condom."
Also, Santa Claus is real. And I'm
dating Leonardo Di caprio and Justin bieber is my BFF

7. "I'm leaving her for you."
Quit talking about it and do it already.

8. "I'll call you."
Oh! really?

9. "I don't think she's that
pretty."
We love it when you lie like this. Tell
this lie all the time. This lie is good.


10. "I don't watch porn."
No way! Me neither! Porn is terrible![/b]



oya guys come and deny.

ladies are more guilty of number 8