falcon01:
because he gave birth to her doesn't mean he is her father. He denied her, he was never there for her and after he has regret his actions, he wants her back? You think that's fair? The only problem I see here is the girl grew up without knowing the truth. She should have known all this years so that the anger will build inside of her on how the father abandoned her. But no she might forgive him and decide to see him, but if it where me, I have nothing to do with him he's just like a surrogate.

Very funny especially the first statement. If you read my statement, I said, the mother agreed the man is the real father and she never denied such according to your statement. If she denies, DNA would be required and since there is no need for such, the man is still thr father.

His irresponsibility does not deny him the girl. However, it would definitely deny him of custody. Think of this, if later in future your sister's pass, the will now categorically states she's not his daughter or some other issue arises that the girl knows the man is not her real dad, don't you think she would hate her mum for keeping such away from her all these years.? Then, it would be more worse and irredeemable because she would be wiser and better to take drastic decisions.

The real father cannot take custody but let the girl know her real father. Let all necessary arrangements be made to take some responsibility. It is not for today but the tomorrow we all don't know. Paternity issue is a serious issue that should be handled with caution and not threat or victimization hence, let the welfare department take charge and you would be glad you did.

Biafrareform:
.

So you mean someone can get a girl he didn't pay preide price on pregnant, reject it, then come around after many years to claim custody of the baby and the court will grant him the custody .

On which basis will such judgement be made?.

Yes. Issues like this should not be taken or decided with personal feelings.

The man was bad. YES.

Is the father of the child. YES

Did he take care of the child from birth till date. NO

Has she (the girl) being adopted by another family. NO

No where in the law states an irresponsible man should be denied paternity. Lots of things would be posed as the cause of the problem and if the mother denies, DNA would be requested and since the mother knows, truly, the real father is the new man, then, DNA is ruled out.

I already explained what your sister failed to do at the initial stage which brought her to this step.

To custody issue, I stated, the young girl is of age according to law to decide where she wants to live. The court cannot deny the real dad visit and care para-adventure she decides to stay with her mother. Wherever she decides to stay, the man is now "responsible" to law and he should not be denied his right. That's the law bro.

3

Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved .
She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.
She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

In as much as we think the deed was bad, there is still no reason to justify the fact that the young girl must know her real dad for future sake. It's kinda hard to forgive, I understand. However, who are we to question the circumstances behind all that happened and so far the mother is ready to the needful, my dear brother, let the reunion be possible though with some stringent clause.

The clause would be determined by the young girl. She's of age to decide where she wants to live. All these should be done within the welfare setting so as to have legal backing. The real father would pay all he can afford as upkeep, settle school fee and also visit as agreed by both parties.With this, everyone will be at peace especially your sister.

What happened was that you failed to take the necessary steps when the young girl was neglected. You guys should have gone to court for the new husband to adopt legally which would have given the man full custody and since you didn't do that, let the real father take over and settle everyone.

All the best.

Alooone:
I got married to my husband in 2013, we are blessed with 2kids (a boy and a girl), in 2017...barely 2 weeks after giving birth to our son I was diagnosed with puepurium psychosis...a kind of mental illness that afflicts women that have just given birth and since it has been from one medication to another...now since after my diagnosis my husband has been a source of emotional, verbal and physical abuse... He blames my parents for everything as he feels "cheated " feeling that they knew all about my "sickness " before we got married and kept it from him..... He felt I was a liability and feels he is too young to shoulder such... There was nothing my husband didn't do to frustrate me... So around June this year I left my home to my father's house and have been there since, ...now since I have been there my husband hardly calls when he does he wants to speak with his children...he doesn't call my parents to ask about my well-being or that of his kids...sometimes I feel abandoned...now the issue is that the love I have for him is beginning to reduce sometimes I feel like letting him go and starting all over...other times I want to stay cos I think of my children's future.
....as for the psychosis ALL the symptoms have gone as am typing this now I have a job with a small private school and planning to either proceed with my masters or start a nursing programme
so please I need your advice should I let him go

Madam, no one can decide for you since no one did when you signed the dotted lines and you were fully aware of what marriage means.

To your solution, visit the nearest government welfare agency in your state. They would guide you on steps to take. On child custody, only the court can decide who should take custody but let me chip in a secret with a yoruba adage " eni yara logun gbe".

All the best

crackhaus:
1. I asked him politely to go and change, he got angry at me and told me to keep quiet and he went inside.

2. I asked him if we could take a family picture, he just snapped and slapped me and started beating me up so badly.

After giving you the benefit of a doubt and assuming this is exactly how it happened - then your husband has definitely gone mad to react to absolutely nothing.
Please politely ask him if there is madness running in his family, make sure you ask him from a safe distance because he will surely use the nearest furniture to kill you.

Madness does not have a cure, but it can be managed.
Arrange to have him put in chains and get him on medications till everything returns to normal.

Must he vent his anger on the wife.? Why, in the presence the children? Seriously, the children are learning bad traits. domestic violence is NO NO for me no matter the anger and I think women should start a forum where they can stand and fight for their right. It sucks to treat women has second fiddle. I detest it with compassion. We are all humans and we should be treated with respect especially our spouse.

Apologies for my vexing here. Just curious on what women folks could do to assist the vulnerable amidst them in situations of domestic violence. As a social worker, the rate is getting high and the children are suffering alot. It is evident in the society we live in. Men are not helping situations at all.

Sorry Madam,it's kinda hard someone like me to advise but I think it would be better if you seek advise from elderly people who have experienced the challenges of marriage. It will end in praise.

I hope all our young men would learn from this. It is well.

Brymo4all:

Please can you give me a writing job?
I'd really appreciate that.

My jobs are from internal caucus and friends (B. Sc and M. Sc) projects. The other is from Upwork and nairalanders. However, whenever I get one, I'd give you shot.

The problem most of us (youths) have is that, we wait till we graduate before we decide the next step. It is better you check your strengths and weekness while in school and build on it.

Like someone put up there, I am jack of all trade. While in school, I bought the thumb print gadget here on NL, got a sincere guy that sold Jamb recharge cards and viola, I stated registration for regularization. My own was even the cheapest and I was close to so many students. I raked in good cash.

I later realized, my people are lazy, I capitalize on that to start doing group assignments, projects and the likes. Till date, I still get contacted to do all these jobs while still hustling to get a job.

I also learnt travelling runs while I stayed in Lagos with a friend, and God has used me to get 8 people into US and Canada. I can call it luck but it worked due to mastering of some basic stuffs. In traveling, there are lots of hidden jobs if you're trustworthy. Till date, those folks abroad give me clients.

I learnt writing on NL. I did some little writings on NL. Still busy with some projects now. When am done with projects, I go back to writing.

I have done little buying and selling. I started with harddrives. I get it a cheap rate here and sell to students and lectures.

Presently, learning how to transcribe.

Op, lots of ways to survive as a youth. I would give you a joker that has been working for me all these while.

You see NL, it's full of many opportunities, check yourself and try to lay your hands to anything that you like. Check all the forums and see where you can learn. Don't rush and don't be hasty to make big money. It would come gradually at least to pay bills till you get a job and evem when you get one, it would continue to be a side hustle.

I can tell you that, I owe this platform alot. I have assisted few but I wish it was much bigger. Oneday, I would do something big to appreciate NL.

Hustle continues.

We are all damn hypocrites. Either Jesus was born on the 25th or not, that is what we grew up to meet and it will forever be. Whenever things does not suit us, we tend to find some "foolish" backing especially biblically but when he does suit us, we look the other way.

Whether you celebrate Christmas on the 25th or not, we all are not God to judge or decide what is meant to be done for God. At least, we all agree, we are celebrating the son of God.

Merry Christmas you all.

airmirthd1:
....... Ondo city and Akure Corper's lodge........ Thanks

Ondo City Corper's secretariat is at Fagun and the lodge depends on your religious affiliation. That of Redeem and Winners are also located in Fagun Area not far from the secretariat. I served and lived around Fagun. I don't know that of Akure.

Any where you're coming from, drop at Ife garage, take a bike to Fagun and tell the bike man you're going to NYSC secretariat.

Seems our leaders are bereft of ideas to move this nation forward. They are still in the 18th century and they expect things to change. They have called us so many unwarranted names, such as lazy youths, unemployable, scammer etc. I think it is high time we tell/give them new ideas on how this nation can be a better place for us all. I would share two of the ideas I think can be helpful. I would appreciate constructive criticisms and you can as well share yours with the hope that, it would get to the right authorities either to be adapted or adopted.

ICT
The world today has involved through ICT, Nigeria is yet to benefit a great deal from this innovation. We have lots of young lads and first class graduates who are vast in ICT. To my own understanding, the anti-corruption agencies have seized lots of properties that are unused till date. Why can't they configure some of these houses to ICT hub. The head should be a first class graduate with experience and less than 40years. The government should make a directive that all primary and secondary schools, all higher institutions, all companies even at the lowest scale should have a website and personal email thoughm some might make use the free ones to reduce cost but they should have a website. With this, they would decide by themselves to have apps for easy transactions. Lots of school children would be interested in ICT. That would be catch them young preparing them for a better tomorrow. Therefore, it would be mandatory for all computer science student to have their internship in any of these schools, or hubs to gain more experience.

Funds: I realise Nigerians are ready to pay so far it is what would grow their business, so a token can be charged for get this website with a clause that it should be from an approved hub. With this, little funds can be generated. Ads would be placed on this sites where both parties can have little to gain. The hubs don't need to be funded by government. All they need is an enabling environment. The power in these hubs should be Solar and not generator however, a small generator can be given so as to use in pumping water. All these would block loose funds.

These young lads would generate income by themselves. Lots of stuffs are done on the internet aside yahoo yahoo. Lots of folks write on fiver, upwork etc while some are into trading. That environment alone is okay for them to thrive and bring new ideas that would help the country. They would build apps that other nations would buy from them. The issue of unemployment and youth restiveness would be reduced to the bearest minimum because they would get busy even to eat would be kinda difficult.

CRIME
Crime rate is rising everyday. Nations have stopped using force to curb all these vices. They are facing and tackling the root courses. We have lots of social problems in the society. Divorce, Rape, Marital Issues, Sickness of all kinds, Robbery, Kidnapping, Child Molestation, Incest, Thuggery, Unemployment, Financial problem et al. The solution is simple. Mr President should sign the social work bill. Employ social workers with certificates to every parastatal/agency and make it compulsory for private firms to do such. People need someone to confide their problems with someone and who can be of assistance. Check so many developed countries, they do not joke with social workers. They know people love them and trust them to bring government closer to them at all levels.

FUNDS: Social Workers can be volunteers, some might come for internship and others would be employed by the government. Also, international organisations trust them so much. They believe they are closer to the people because that is what works in their clime. CSDP projects of World Bank is being handled by social workers. There is this UNICEF malaria programme in some states, it is also being handled by social workers. In no distant time, people would see the need to pay a token for some issues such as court cases , adoption, provision of jobs etc. Rome they say was not built in a day. The government can map out some states to try all these and to me, I believe it would work because I have been to the field before, I know what the communities say about social workers and how medical practitioners appreciate them.

That is my own idea to the government of the day. I would appreciate if you add yours for a better Nigeria

Power of social media. Only if we can use same energy to fight the so-called bourgeoisies.

ahiboilandgas:
I actually intend helping 5 people radom get federal govt job next year (dont as me how ) am close to chairman house committes on........am very displead by the gross display of stupidty ,defeat by nigerians offering 1m to jobs that u might never gather 1m in your accounts ....25 slot was given free this year ...from when the member was sworn in to now

Please, kind hearted people should come to my rescue. My disability is not helping matters. (wheelchair bound for 13yrs+).There are no paveways or ramp to make my movement easy.

Please, kindly use any connection for me to secure a job in any establishment

B. Sc International Relations (Second Class Upper) 2016

Post-graduate Diploma in Education (Credit) 2018

Masters in Social Work (Professional) 2019

tunjioui@gmail.com

I have sent all Senators mail, no response. I have message my Senator and House of Rep member, still no response. I have submitted application to Women Affairs, still no response.

Please, help me.

Makinde's success so far is due to

Lack of godfatherism.

Political Will

Adequate planning before taking oath of office

Grass-root politics

If he sustain this momentum, the sky is just the beginning. I wish him luck. Not from Oyo though.

Please, kind hearted people should come to my rescue. My disability is not helping matters. (wheelchair bound for 13yrs+).There are no paveways or ramp to make my movement easy.

Please, kindly use any connection for me to secure a job in any establishment

B. Sc International Relations (Second Class Upper) 2016

Post-graduate Diploma in Education (Credit) 2018

Masters in Social Work (Professional) 2019

tunjioui@gmail.com

I have sent all Senators mail, no response. I have message my Senator and House of Rep member, still no response. I have submitted application to Women Affairs, still no response.

Please, help me.

airmirthd1:
Please I need directions on how to get to the secretariat and how to locate the Corper's lodge... Thanks

Which part of Ondo? Ondo-City or Akure or where exactly?

[quote author=ProtectMyMoney post=85092677][/quote]

There is more to the issue. What about if there is no where to sleep? Our culture also depicts some things. Lots of issues might the causal factor and not until her psychological state of mind is worked upon and balanced, it would difficult to conclude. That's a principle in social work - Non- Judgemental.

cocolacec:


Thank you very much
Cird2007@yahoo.com

I was informed that they don't attend to cases without referral. That is, you have to present your case via email, call or in person. After proper information gathering, it would then be assigned to a social worker for necessary intervention and casework. That's where he can come in. Let's see how it goes from here. Report today, please.

You can get the address, email and phone number on the doc attached. NO 14

Lynx001:
.Greal leadership is about bringing street light

NO, it is not. However, happiness is what people deserve which he is giving. It's Xmas, he paid salary and even promised 13th month. You can see there is no NLC agitation. He made it clear from Day 1 that it would be kinda hard but he would look into it. That's planning and thinking ahead.

See, it is very easy to govern if only you can make the citizens smile. When workers and pensioners collect their entitlements as at when due and you create a friendly environment. It's not rocket science but planning.

Kudos to him

Ministry of Social Welfare.. You can drop your email or any contact you are comfortable with. I'd fwd to a social worker who will get in touch asap.

Called off.!

Seems they are only contacting those with B.ed and B. Sc Edu. If you don't fall into this category and got the text, kindly clarify. Just want satisfy my curiosity.

Give the details anonymously to the social welfare department. Just walk to their office, there is always a phone number or email pasted on the door or wall of the office, copy and give them full info.

Make sure you send a reminder till they are caught in the act. Catching the man in the act would save a lot of stories and easier to prosecute.

Save the life of the young girl, NOW!!!

Now, I can categorically join those who say, Gov Bello is a useless Gov. Chai. You make CSDP look as if you executed them. CSDP is a joint effort betweem World Bank, the State government and the host communities. The debt will be paid over a period of 25years. This man is mad.

If the host community does not pay their 10% counter part fund on the project they want to execute, they cannot benefit likewise the state Gov. The government just need to drop N500M and World Bank will drop N5billion.

Walahi, werey ni man yi.

Osun and Oyo state have benefitted so much through this programme and with my field work experience, in the last few years since this programme commenced, I have not heard or seen where a state Gov. commissioned those projects.

They community would present their felt needs to the agency, they would prioritize it, do the necessary paper work and collect the funds in 2 or 3 tranches depending on the project. The government is not expected to interfere in any form but this mumu Gov that does not understand how the programme work is rolling out drums.

God would punish our leaders who make jest of the masses. Their generation would suffer for their deeds.

Shoodboi:
My dad (rest in peace to him) was the type that required us to write our school needs on an foolscap sheet.

Then, he went on to cut and cut until 50k became 5k.

No provisions, no clothes, no stationeries, no household stuffs etc.

Just rent, school fees, transport fare, school association dues and very few school needs like photocopies, project etc.

We used to add imaginary items like textbooks but the man caught on and wouldn't even give us the money for that.

So, we turned to increasing school fees, hostel rent and inventing payments for school associations.

I once got creative and told him we were doing some construction project in school and we needed to buy blocks, cement and wood.

He couldn't cut that money.

I remember collecting between 10-20k for that project back then.

Your dad was exactly has mine. Rest in peace Dad.

Old age beacons...Make sure you stay healthy with enough rest in your youthful days..