₦airaland Forum

IGood idea unfortunatly I am already married

You can help the man by finding him a new wife, while the woman waits for a miracle. Why should the man bear such a great responsibility. I pity the woman but her shwaring a husband is nit half as bad as the man going without an issue

As painful as it is there is nothing you can do.Talk to them nicely or keep doing it youself. OT is terrible. Sorry I know how disgusted one can get

Naging is a very bad habit. It shows bad manners and worse still lack of self control. Some women cannot control themselves, before the man has even set foot in the house they start lashing out.
When a man comes home he needs to unwind first, later on one can always approach him, depending on his mood.
Men too can go on and on. I was married to such a man before. I think men who nag are very petty.

Anyway she is probably back to the guy already. The way she sounds.
We women we never learn when our butts get kicked except we get kicked right out.

Didyou consider how unhappy the woman would be without the child,Ono. At what age is it right to seperate a child from the mother.

Nope. Freedom of choice

Seun, Respect! I could not have said it better.

That is really sad. They are no less human than you. They also deserve love and happiness.

I have sent an email to the papers. I just hope they reply me.

Well I just feel terribly moved at her desperate situation and I think the world will be a better place if welook around us and help where we can. Now I am not rich but  I can make a slight difference.
As soon as I get contact to her, I will try and get some organisations in Germany involved in the case.

Now don´t take that personal but what goes on in our university'sis no secret at least not to us that grew up there.
I know very many highly educated men married to women that did not study and vice versa and it works out perfect. Education in the senseof a Degree is irrelevant.
Anyway when money talks, we forget about education don´t we.

Babymine, it is not about me here, is it?
Basically what I am trying to express is : if you can´t handle it then stay away.I made this clear initially. Yu also do not have to feel bad. If you go ahead, you can be as proud of him as any other guy.  This guy just has a problem with his legs , that is no big deal.
Yes I definitely could.

That is you and I think many people would react the same way.
But have you thought of it this way, we are all potential "cripples"

I think there is no need for such perverse postings here, this child is still under age.
Christian what you feel is normal and I know you are going to be a very good mother some day but please hang on for a bit longer.
You need to finish growing up yourself before you can have a bay.
I had my first child pretty young and it was hell. At night when the baby cries and you cant sleep. I just sat there crying too.
A baby also needs a father so you need to meet the right guy too.

This is a true story, it happened in Niger State. It caused quite a sensation there too. The boy was crippled and did not have much money.

Girl at that age normally fall madly in love and do everything for a guy.
What are these small reasons?
If you are allot older, what are you doing with her?

Your reaction is normal . Most people need some time to get used to handicaps.
IF it is nothing for you stay away because you would only cause him pain. I know of a case where this girl fell in love with this guy and his legs where much smaller and totally useless, I mean you noticed it at once he used to crawl on the floor. The parents of the girl where mad and forced her into marriage, she ran away from her new husband to the boyfriend. The husband took the case to the Emir. On the day of hearing the boyfriend was asked to come forward and he crawled on the floor to the Emir. The Emir dissolved the marriage to the husband and instructed the parents to give the girl in marriage to the boyfriend. HE said if the girl could run away from her husband to a cripple, then it was the work of God. The marriage has since been blessed with children. HE sent me a picture of his wife and son, he has a very beautiful wife.

A second wedding/ blessing and declare your love to her once more.

The more a man thinks you can cope, the more he will let you do it all. I am not a feminist. I have no intention to slave away doing work meant for the man and the woman just to prove I have equal rights .

Davidylan.
my parents had Househelps and I detested the way the where treated.
Yes I did have Househelps 2 for that matter, that was years ago in Lagos. For some years I had none then one day a friend told me her Aunt was laying of her Househelp she was so bad, possessed etc, a small girl. I asked her to bring the girl to me. She was very sick even had to be treated, her vagina was all sores. I gave her the best medical treatment and even used to wash the sores myself.
She had dropped out of primary school in class three but was so smart I coached her one year at home then got her into secondary school. She eventually went to University. The second one came when the little girl started school. She was going afternoon to Koran school and sewing classes.When she got married I paid for the wedding.
Now I treated them like little sisters.They slept together with my kids, we all ate together and we did the house work together and had a close relationship.
But many of my friends did not like the idea, they said my husband would start chasing them.

Ono why should you be banned for speaking your mind
What should I be hiding, I never lied to him about my past I was too scared to even have done anything to provoke him What do you have in mind? naturally I made my own mistakes but they were minor once.

I will also get back to you in the near furture, I am working on something atthe moment.
I have been into retailing but I actually want to go into whole sale now. Still working in the concept.

MY dear Chy I do not understand how an education makes a woman in a marriage. I got married and lived in Nigeria several years and I have a solid education but I think that it sometimes even brings problems into a marriage when women lay so much emphasis on it.They think that because they are eduated they no longer have to comply with our tradition as regards the rights and duties of a wife in marriage. They just get brainwashed with colonial ideologies. I also studied in Nigeria and I know what it is all about. Studies at day time and in the night legallised prostitution with all the big shots in town. IS that what increases the womans bagening power?
PLease you have to clear me up on this one

I teach my kids how to cook and my daughter is 12 and can already cook very well, infact there are some things she can even cook better than me especially all these funny things kids like to eat The same goes for the boys although there I am not quite as fussy
I cannot imagine how a woman would not know how to cook, at least the basics
My daughter-in-law is not a Nigerian, she can cook Nigerian food now, my granddaughter loves okro
IT would have been a real problem if she did not know how to cook, because my son is very fussy about his food.

@ Mamaput
men can be naive, that trick always works

I simply adore the ground my husband walks on and I tell him very often my life would be meaningless without him.I even go out of my way to make him see it. MY husband is currently away on a three week trip. I am not going to tank the car or change the bulb. I always do things like that to let him know I cannot manage without him. When he comes back it gives him a good feeling that he is needed. Even before he goes he does everything to make sure I have little stress, like filling the freezer etc.
I also do not like to think that I am not needed.
And age does matter allot, I have many friends today that are spending furtunes trying to have a child while I already have a Grandchild. You cannot turn back the hands of time,so be carefull, vanity often leads to ones downfall.

I am a German only on Paper .
I am a very proud Nigerian and my stay away from Nigeria has only made me love Nigeria the more. When you see how our brothers are being treated in Europe before they can get their stay .So sad.
I offered to help my husband because he was the oldest child from over 20 siblings and his parents had died long ago. All the family burden was on him.

WEll my husband was about finishing his post studies and would have had no more permit to stay in the country, that was why I made the proposal to him. It was to be a marriage only on paper
My husband took some weeks to answer me, he told me that if I was not ready to marry him with body and soul he was not interested.

I am not a man but I have to add my own.
I think it is absolutely okay to do that. As a woman you definitely have to make it clear to a man that you are only interested in a relationship that has prospects. And if the man takes too long, then you have to make the first move.
As for me. I proposed to my husband the first day I met him and that is no joke.