₦airaland Forum

BigJoe19:
Cause they wanna make cash out, it's just like asking why Yahoo boys bill client and not the other way.

Really??

Newslodge:
6 Abnormal Things Porn Videos Will Make You Think Is Normal (Most Guys Are Guilty Of No. 4)
Abnormal Things Porn Videos Will Make You Think Is Normal: Too many unrealistic things in porn videos but constantly watching them has affected people’s realities. Porn videos are more or less like action films with so many exaggerated scenes that you can’t try in real life.

Most people think they are experts in s3x just because they get their s3xual lessons through porn.

Don’t be deceived most of the things you see in porn are mere deliberate exaggerations and deceptions to make you cum while watching it.

Below Are 6 Abnormal Things Porn Videos Will Make You Think Is Normal
https://www.newslodge.com.ng/6-abnormal-things-porn-videos-will-make-you-think-is-normal-most-guys-are-guilty-of-no-4/

What's this about?

juniorstar:
is the title updateable or undatetable? just asking

Not sure myself. But its says updateable in her blog

People confuse the word “alone” with lonely.

In a society where marriage has been held up as the ideal, they misunderstand how those who’ve never married, or who are widowed or divorced, experience living alone.

Will you still need me when I’m 84?
Loneliness is not tied to relationship status, and it’s a fallacy to assume that marriage or cohabitation is the solution. Ask anyone who’s been in an unhappy, non-communicative marriage. Eric Klinenberg, the author of “Going Solo,” a book about living alone, looks at the emergence of the one-person household as an increasingly preferred living choice. “People who live alone do get lonely,” Klinenberg says, “but so do people in marriages.”

Younger people have made living alone a choice; in the under-65 demographic, 15 million live alone and many are actively choosing single lives, at the same time proving that the old equation between living alone and being unhappy no longer holds true. Younger singles are just as happy and healthy as younger people in committed relationships. But what about the 11 million seniors who are leading single lives? According to researchers, many older singles are not doing so well.

As we age, many of us start worrying what living alone will be like. Who’ll help if I become ill? What if I feel lonely and isolated? We worry about maintaining social connections if we lose mobility. Those of us who sought a single life and chose not to remarry after a divorce or spouse’s death might find ourselves rethinking our priorities.

Should advancing age cause people like me who are single to rethink our status? Is it time to find a partner?

In an effort to quantify the feeling of loneliness – a sense of not having meaningful contact with others, accompanied by painful distress – geriatric specialists at the University of California, San Francisco, asked 1,604 adults age 60 and older how often they felt isolated or left out, or lacked companionship. Sixty-two percent of those who reported being lonely were married. (Click here to read more about the study.)

Maybe what we need as we plan for old age is to expand our social connections and interactions – not look for a husband.

Words – and More – With Friends
We long for meaningful relationships and social connections. That may be why increasing numbers of older people are turning to online dating sites, which offer a way to connect with others and make new friends, even if they don’t deliver a life partner.

There are other ways to connect and grow our social circles, too. Facebook is a great place to chat, keep up with friends’ activities and even play games with them, like the popular game Word with Friends. Some websites offer forums and chat rooms that encourage users to interact with others. Online friendships can supplement real life relationships.

We need social interactions and people in our lives who care about us, but living alone doesn’t always lead to loneliness, just as living with others is no guarantee of happiness. We can maintain our independent lifestyles as we age and build strong social connections at the same time.

By Walker Thornton

A 2015 study by the American Sociological Association found that women initiate two-thirds of all divorces, a staggering 69% to be exact. College-educated women initiate divorce at an even higher rate: 90%. This begs the following question:

Why Do Women Initiate Divorce More Than Men?
In my experience as a Women’s Empowerment Coach, I help women navigate the emotional turmoil of divorce. This would make me a pretty “pro-divorce person.” I myself divorced once. Usually when a woman comes to me, they have already decided to divorce. But there are times that I wonder if that divorce was necessary, or was it just easier?

Last week, during my field research, I met a woman (OK, it was my makeup lady at Ulta) who DivorceMag’s Top 10 Blog Posts of 2019immediately started to describe her marital woes to me upon my telling her of my vocation. When she told her husband she wanted a divorce, he suddenly started to do all the things she wanted him to do all along. But in her words, “It was too little too late.” I then posed a question to her to try to get her to think harder about it: “What would happen if, instead of it being too late, you went all in? A last-ditch effort maybe, but without any strings, expectations – just pure love for your husband and your child.” She was quiet and even seemed a little annoyed.

I said, “I bet when he walks into the room he doesn’t have to say or do anything and you are already annoyed, just by him breathing.” This stirred a laugh, and she told me I nailed it. Resentment seeped into their marriage like the black plague, impossible to cure but much easier to escape. In a marriage, resentment can grow with every annoying comment, every roll of the eyes, and with every failure to connect. Resentment is a marriage killer.

Women Crave Connection, but They Don’t Know How to Ask for it
Women seek closeness and vulnerability in a marriage where, under the veil of marriage, it is safe to be real and raw with our chosen one, or soul mate. When she reaches out for that connected feeling and is met with the “wrong” response, she lays a brick down. Then one day, the wall is too high to penetrate it.

In its simplest form, deep down, women crave connection with their partners – but many women have the erroneous belief that if their husbands really loved them, they would instinctively know what their wives wanted, so a man needs to be a proficient mind-reader to know how to satisfy their wife’s need for connection. And what makes someone feel loved and valued varies hugely from person to person. For example, a dozen red roses every Friday may symbolize love and deep connection to one woman; to another, flowers mean nothing, but feeding and entertaining the kids so she can enjoy a long, peaceful bath means everything.

This is where the communication breakdown often occurs: women not saying what it is they want (“If he truly loved me, he’d already know what I want!”), and men not “getting it” (“I can’t do anything right as far as she’s concerned, so I might as well stop trying!”) So resentment festers and the walls go up.

The internal process for a woman usually starts with her wondering why she is so unhappy. She works on herself by reading self-help books. Maybe she seeks counseling, starts exercising, or does some form of self-development. At some point, she feels a little better, but something is still off. She may feel lonely, so she looks closer at the marriage.

Looking at the marriage under a microscope reveals a multitude of infractions. He doesn’t help around the house. He doesn’t do his share to take care of the kids. He doesn’t buy her gifts. He doesn’t spend time with her. He doesn’t listen. He doesn’t connect with her at all. As a matter of fact, the marriage just feels empty to her as she investigates all of its faults.

Women have affairs too. Even though a husband’s infidelity is women’s #1 reason for divorcing, she, too, is very capable. But while infidelity is listed as the reason for divorce, what exactly was the reason for the infidelity? When I dig into that question with my female clients, they all have a similar version of “I felt so lonely.” Many times, the office romance is what made them realize this fact.

Whether or not there is infidelity, there is usually a point the woman reaches out to her husband to help “fix” things. Usually, the husband hears this and turns the blame back on the wife, or he somehow resists the criticism. After all, he thinks everything is just fine. Rarely does he hear it as the cry for help that it really is.

Why Do Women Initiate Divorce More Than Men? Men Think Everything’s Fine – Women Think the Ship is Sinking Fast
When fixing the marriage is met with resistance or even denial, the wife starts to think that a divorce is the only way to go. If he is not willing to work on it, then what else is she to do? This is the pivotal point where the word “divorce” is initiated into conversations.

Making the decision to divorce is never easy. By the time a woman says the words “I want a divorce,” she has most likely mourned the marriage and moved on, making it too late for reconciliation. This may leave her husband pretty blind-sided.

Even though the husband may feel a lot of grief, he still inflicts shame and blame, adding fuel to her fire. They both only see the faults that their spouse brings to the table, and refuse to look in the mirror.

If only he held her and asked her what she needed. If only he helped her a little more around the house and with the kids. If only he heard her complaints and took them seriously and made some changes. If only he did something nice for her to show his love for her. If only he held her without initiating sex. And if only then… he pleased her first.

Unfortunately, the last-ditch effort made by the husband often comes off as a little schizophrenic – or like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. One moment he is buying her a meaningful gift, and the next moment he is furious and blaming. The couple may even go to counseling, only the madness continues because he is unable to look within for the changes needed. The marriage is unraveling fast now. Then and only then, she can no longer handle the anger, and the separation begins.

But what about the makeup lady whose husband really made the real effort? If only she could set aside the blackness in her heart that resentment built, scale that brick wall between them. If he could find a way to connect with her.

If only…

By Julie Danielson

I’ve spoken to newly married girlfriends who have shared their frustrations with their new spouse. There is generally some area that the women wish their husbands would improve on, and they are growing weary waiting. We generally come to the same conclusion—their husbands may need to grow, but perhaps the wives are struggling with being judgmental and self-righteous. We can look at our men, see sin, and be too quick and eager to point it out.


I relate. That was me.

I remember my wedding like it was yesterday. It was a cold, yet beautiful December day. All of our decorations were red, white, and green to reflect the season. It was exactly what we hoped it would be and more.

After the honeymoon we returned to our home eager to start our new lives together as one. But soon the fairytale ended and real life began. It didn’t look quite like I had imagined. There were no glaring problems. No deep-rooted sin issues. Yet I was extremely aware of my husbands’ shortcomings, and I wasn’t holding back on sharing my thoughts.

I was quick to point out sin and eager to share “observations” about how he could change or grow as a leader, all under the pretense of being his helpmeet. I judged my husband harshly our first year of marriage. I was quite self-righteous. I thought I was right, and I played the role of his “holy spirit.” Like I said, I masked it as being his helpmeet. Wrong!

Wasn’t I helping him by sharing my wisdom and insights into every single part of his life? Surely he needed my help to become a godly man. (Obviously I’m speaking tongue-and-cheek.) I was filled with self-righteousness and self-absorption. There was a plank in my eye the size of a California redwood, but all I could see was the speck in his (Matthew 7:3).

Tongue for Blessing and Cursing
James addresses the problem of the self-righteousness. “With [the tongue] we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so” (James 3:9-10). With my tongue I would bless the Lord and curse my husband made in the image of God. Though God views my husband as clothed with Christ’s righteousness, there were times when all I saw were filthy rags.

Most of my corrections stemmed from a desire to fill some perceived need of mine and had little to do with his sanctification. My desire was that he would change for me, not to please and glorify God. My observations were generally (not always) selfish.

Again James helps us see why we might quarrel for selfish gain. He writes, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder” (James 4:1-2). Though we did not always fight outwardly, my heart was often committing murder. I would be angry and harsh. My “needs” weren’t being met, and so I would fight.

Growing in Grace
I am aware I am not alone. We’re not all patiently waiting for our husbands to change and grow. We can be judgmental, angry, and often accusatory. When we fixate on little preferences the result can be extremely damaging. We can become dissatisfied, bitter, and even long for another man. Women, we can be hard on our men. We have to remember that there isn’t one-size-fits-all for godliness.

But most of all, we must pray for them. Our job isn’t to be their “holy spirit” by calling out every sin we sight. Thank God, our heavenly Father doesn’t treat us like that. God is gentle and kind, slow to anger and abounding in love. God can help us learn to love our husband with a love that is tender and kind and filled with affection and grace.

Now, nine years later, I’m still learning how to lovingly help my husband, but even more I am learning how to enjoy him. I have grown in looking for areas of grace and gifts. God has helped me use my tongue to encourage, build up, and praise him for how God has made him, rather than tear him down for how God didn’t make him.

And just as I’m not surprised by my sin, I’m equally unsurprised that God would help me grow in this area. God works all things together for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28). He provides a way of escape for our sinful self-righteousness (1 Corinthians 10:13). He promises to finish the good work he began in you and in me (Philippians 1:6). This is good news for us! God is faithful.

Amazingly, even when I fell into the temptation to judge my husband God remained unswervingly committed to forgiving me because my sin—not in part but the whole—is covered in the blood of Jesus Christ. And sister, so is yours.

Trillia Newbell is a freelance journalist and writer. She writes on faith and family for The Knoxville News-Sentinel, and serves as managing editor for Women of God Magazine. Her love and primary role is that of a wife and mother. She lives in Tennessee with her husband, Thern, and their two children, Weston and Sydney.


By Trillia Newbell

It’s a chilly Saturday morning, and I am invited to another one of those female-only events. Now we all know what the inevitable subject will be: at some point, the discussion is going to be about men. As much as I enjoy mingling with like-minded women, this is the part I dread the most. The odds are 9 out of 10 that someone is going to mention that I am a dating coach (usually the friend that has accompanied me to the event), and some basic Judy is going to ask me to help her out with straightforward problems about her love life, which only requires common sense to solve. But then again, common sense is not so common.

And just as I expected, the self-righteous Judy complained that these big city girls are getting cheaper by the day. Her rant goes something like this:


“I come from a good Christian home, I have been well brought up, and I have a pretty decent set of morals. I have a clean reputation as I don’t go running around with people who do not have a sense of direction. My concern is that the conduct of young ladies out there is shocking, and mind you, there are a growing number of single and desperate 30-something-year-old ladies who are also showing signs of cheapness.

I am sorry if this might come across as blunt, but women out there have become cheap. Every time I am out and about, I often see these young girls in expensive weaves and bags going around hand in hand with a sugar daddy. These women have no shame, they don’t even care who is looking.

You have these girls who have made a career out of soliciting money from men. They get them to pay for their rent, transportation costs, or to fund their fairy tale lifestyles. The biggest disappointments are my age mates, particularly the “return soldiers” (divorcees).

Sis Dudu, what happened to being a lady? These desperate and dateless 30-something-year-olds have formed what they call the “Second Wives club” and have no shame being mistresses.

Women out there no longer hold themselves at the highest level, and it does not take much to take them to bed. The sad thing, Sis Dudu, is that they have spoiled our men, because it seems like all that men expect these days is a good time and that is just about it.”

After listening to Miss Goody Two-shoes’ boring rant, I asked, “What exactly is your definition of cheap?”

Is it a girl that sleeps around?
Is it a girl that dates old men?
Is it a mistress?
Or is it a girl that does not come from a Christian home?
I picked up that the reason this woman thought she was in a better position than these types of women was because of her religion and value system.


Afterward, I googled the definition of cheap, and this is what I found:

Cheap: of little worth because achieved in a discreditable way requiring little effort.

Example: “Her moment of cheap triumph”

So it’s fair to assume that according to Miss Goody, what makes a woman cheap is the manner in which she gives her time, love, and body in exchange for affection or monetary pleasures with little effort required.


Thus, is it fair to say that according to her definition, the amount of time and money (effort) it takes to take a woman to bed will determine whether she is cheap?

So then I asked how cheap or expensive was she? In order to elaborate on my point, I used monetary terms to see if her definition is indeed accurate.


Not a single woman at that table that day had ever thought about the concept of cheapness in this manner, so I had the table’s full attention when I went on tell the story below.

I once read an article, written by G.L. Lambert in his book “Solving Single,” where he broke this matter down into the following instances:

He said, on the one hand you have a Miss Goody, like you who is very conscious of whom she chooses to associate herself with and therefore is pedantic about how a man should woo her into bed.

Often girls like you will get a call from a guy you are “dating” on a Friday evening that goes like, “Hey, girl, what’s up? I thought you and I could chill at my place today and spend some quiet time as I am not that type of guy who likes to run the streets. I will rent us some movies ($10), get dinner ($50), and maybe a bottle of wine ($20). What do you say?”

Because Miss Goody is home bored due to the fact that she is impossible to get along with, she will get dressed, get into her car, stop by the gas station, and maybe also pick up a bottle of wine on the way to his house.

They will discuss politics, work, philosophy, his aspirations, and so on. Before she knows it, she will be “speaking in tongues” on his couch.

Consequently, the ever-self-righteous Miss Goody has been laid for less than $80, which from a practical perspective is cheaper than a boy’s night out.

Now let’s compare her situation to a Miss Cheap who, according to Miss Goody, does not know the mighty Lord.

This girl always has options, be it a sugar daddy, married dude, boyfriend-wanna-be, or a plain old Mr. Good Time. This is her typical Friday evening: About 4 p.m. she sends out a broadcast Whatsapp message to all her “options” that goes like, “Hey.” Yes, just a simple “hey.” No “how was your day?” or “I saw you on TV the other day” or “what a brilliant presentation you gave,” just a simple “hey.”

Then she waits, and trust me, in no time, she will get a number of responses that will result in a date.

Now let’s say the dude who never returned your call after that one passionate Friday of nothingness is the one responding to the supposed cheap girl’s message on his pay day. That same woman will get a response like, “Hey, girl, what’s up? Want to swing by my place?”

Now how she responds is what differentiates her from Miss Goody.

She does not get dressed up right away or put on her most expensive lingerie or update her Facebook status update with a “feeling loved.”

Instead, she writes, “I am not getting dressed to come hang at your place.”

So if the guy is up to it, he will come pick her up (with his gas), take her somewhere for dinner (+$100), and he might throw in a bit of clubbing ($200). If this man is lucky enough, she might even end up in his bed, which Miss Goody never made it to.

So, in essence, this cheap girl would have been shagged for a little more than $300.

So I asked again, what is the definition of cheap? My Mathematics teacher said $300>$80, making Miss Goody cheaper.

So what is my point? Here are two simple points I am highlighting:

Men will use different tactics to achieve the same objectives. If it is your womanhood he is after, it does not matter how well you know God because a vee*** is a vee*** and “good girl” isn’t written on it.
Women shouldn’t bash other women. Why must you call another women “cheap”? Does your inability to get yourself a man depend on the conduct of other women? Are you saying that if other women shortchange themselves by dating married men or men who lack good intentions, this also puts you in an unfavorable position as these men expect you to shortchange yourself too? Let’s just use logic. What is your problem when it comes to men: the existence of cheap girls or your selection criteria?
By now I had a mixed audience of enlightened and enraged women, and as usual, I raised my hand dismissively and asked the waiter for more champagne.


Written by Duduzile Nhlabathi

Dudu Nhlabathi is a South African dating coach known by her followers as Dear Sis Dudu. After re-entering the dating world in 2010, she started documenting her dating trials and tribulations. This ultimately led to her establishing a strong brand presence on FB and also doing some had TV and radio stints. Dudu is busy with her first book titled “Why Some Women are Updatable". The 12 chapter book talks about her experience with men, love and dating, in an attempt to help all her single sisters put some things into perspective. She wants single women to look at singlehood different from what society has made it out to be; a waiting period, a time withered with uncertainty and a thing to be dreaded.

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about some time last month. I got a facebook suggestion for a friend. her profile pic was very good looking (I like my friends good looking by the way), so I added her up.

she added me up as a friend 2 days later. I saw the acceptance notification. I didn't have anything I wanted to say to her (like most of the people I add up lol), so I didn't bother messaging her, this went on for 3 days and I completely forgot about her.

on the 4th day she messaged me herself saying:

"Why you sent me a friend request,
you barely talk to me lol".

I knew she wanted to flirt and I admired her skill. I hadn't viewed her facebook page yet, I only saw her profile pics and from that alone she was gorgeous. so before replying I quickly opened up her facebook page. first went to her bio, that's where I saw her age, MAY 11, 1984. I couldn't believe she was 36 years old. then I went ahead to check her other photos, men this babe is fine, she has that kinda nengi Ass or will I call it mercy's Ass and her hour glass shape is on point, bo*bs set too, she really has the full package. she looked like an half cast but she is not. she is a native of Cape Verde, an island in the Atlantic Ocean close to west Africa.

all my life I have never admired an older woman in a sexual way, not Omotola or Genevieve etc. but she changed my perspective, maybe because initially I thought with her cute baby face she was in her 20's. but what spoilt it for me is that she has two kids- very beautiful kids if I must say.

so I replied her and we had an engaging chat, I enjoyed myself. she is a US citizen now and she mentioned she saw one of my pics in her city. I was like in my mind "maybe that's why she messaged me". truth is I haven't been there in like 8 years. that's a long time ago.

we exchanged numbers and have video called severally. she is hot-hot but anytime I remember she has kids I try to focus.

for most guys dating a woman with kids is a no-no. even if I wanted to just for fun, I am against it cause it will be quite expensive for me, I can't go all the way to the US for a fling but if she comes here well...

so have you ever dated an older sexy woman or will you ever consider it?

Erojepromise:
Your self control is top notch l praise you for not laying a finger on her because if you had done so omo you would have killed her,also,that lady is a witch don't let her in again

even if she comes back to apologize, which she will I'll be daft if I go back to her.

Doortun:
I'll like to add that this fellow has not done bad and did what is best.

It's always easy to assume the best course of action when you are a third party or distant observer in situations like this.

I know many guys are raging why he couldn't unscrew her teeth and misalign her jaw because of what happened. The fact is that's a very easy thing to do even for weak men.

The poster is smart enough to handle it the way he did. That's what makes a man a man.

You could well argue and say he is a simp and all, but being a rational man you always put logic and reasoning before emotions. That's how civilization is built and reason men will always champion in all areas. It's a very weak minded thing to let emotion take control over rage that's a very feminine energy.

Some people won't really get the perspective right.

1) He has an images to protect (Job, family, future partner)
2) He could outdo things and lady could loose her life and he finds himself in jail.
3) Could be a waste of time for him


People don't care about what happened or who the instigator is. They only care after the fact and as a man you are guilty by default.


Destroying things because of rage is very weak, any low IQ person can do that - because it's just easy to destroy, no much brain cells required. Try creating something and you will see how challenging it is and being emotional and irrational will never get anything created or built.

See Lil Frosh, true we can't know what happened, but being weak and emotional made him loose his career over a mediocre heaux. All along he thought it was a very masculine thing to do was to panel beat the youngie's face and he was taking to court of public opinion (social media) and look what happened to him.

As this doesn't align to popular narratives. Guys please rise above your basic instinct, think thoroughly and think things through before you act. After God you are next in hierarchy of power don't fall beneath your emotions.

Doortun bless you man! every line was a hit, back to back to back!

Tabasco23:
how bout girl on boy

now that's the same as boy on girl violence.

Tabasco23:
how bout girl on boy

now that's the same as boy on girl violence.