₦airaland Forum

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best feature is my shapely legs!

I don't get it.

Is 29+ supposed to be Old according to Nigerian Standards?

Women stay hot to atleast 42 years old. Then some are hot, and some are not. But if she is good looking at 21, she is good looking at 31 and 41.

My point wasn't well expressed but I was trying to say:
[center]Nigerian men cheat because their women are more likely to forgive it, or tolerate it.[/center]

When my husband cheated - I came to these boards to vent - 90% of the people said I should forgive and move on. When I vented on an african- American forum only about 50% of the people gave that same advise.

^^^^^My lonliest times of my life were as a married woman. , HUbby was inattentive and insensitive and I was not "free" to go get the attention from elsewhere. Those were some hard times.


I think WOMEN CHEAT mostly to fill an emotional Void. But Women have far harsher consequences to cheating so we do it much less than men.

FROM EXPERIENCE: I've wanted to cheat so that my hubby can understand the feeling of betrayal and Insult it creates. He cheated on me this year - and I still toy with the idea of revenge - but I know its wrong---- I forgave him and he basically had life return to normal after I cried and screamed for a weak- but months later _ I AM THE ONE STILL SUFFERING emotionally. My esteem has had a blow, I am paranoid and distrustful, and I sometimes wish he felt like I do.


My mind and spirit says: Be a good Christian - do the right thing - you're not perfect- stop judging him,

My heart and ego still whisper: Girl, go have an affair and make sure he "accidentally discovers" it. So he will know what it feels like to be the unsuspecting spouse. God will forgive you too - if he forgive him.

Nigerian men cheat because when they enter marriage they are more likely to already have the wife pregnant or get her pregnant with 2-4 kids early in the marriage. UNLIKE WESTERN CULTURE where SINGLE-MOtherhood is a NORM, RARely FROWNED ON, anD MEN will readily entertain her for sex a future relationship/dating even when an american mom might have 4 different daddies for her 5 kids. With less pressure to actually marry, WHICH MEANS NIGERIAN WOMEN are more likely to HAVE TO DEAL WITH INFEDELITY because the society and government is NOT set-up to GIVE FREE STUFF to naughty person children, or fatherless homes.

In the U.S. a teenage girl will actually KNOW by highschool (age 15) which benefits (welfare) are available to her if she "accidentally" gets knocked up- so there is little regard or need to find honor or priviledge in marriage. She's also less likely to TRY AND MAKE IT WORK - because there is a higher dISCONNECT between religion and how Society plays out,  So there is little fear of SCORN or PUNISHMENT for tossing away a marriage.

I think its a DISGRACE how Western Culture will end a marriage so quickly,

Yet-tthe FORGIVENESS and BLIND-EYE factor in Nigeria kind of enables Infedelity.

[center]I'd rather stay with my cheating husband to ensure my kids know their dad - than divorce and add 3 MORE BLACK kids into the "raised without a father" crap. Cause in America- they turn out far worse than father-less kids in other societies.[/center]
[center][/center]

The OP could put back on some weight and still be healthy.

If theh usband has gained weight but it doesn't bother her then so be it.

But if her current conditions bothers hers husband she should be a good wife and make a reasonable effort to be sexually attractive to him

#1-How likely is it that a man (nigerian man) would be unsatisfied with his wife because she is TOO EASY TO PLEASE??

For example: If the wife is not very demanding of things, and is flexible, and NOT a spend-thrift - could this actually cause her husband to lose interest in her and pursue a more demanding materialistic woman?


#2- Do married men like their wife to rely and depend on them, or do they prefer that she be independent and not really need him for anything besides sex?

#3- If a husband gets hot steamy good sex from his wife almost whenever he desires, what would be some reasons that this man would decide to cheat on her anyway?

Please be serious with your replies-- Thank you.

author=zeedee link=topic=349325.msg4910520#msg4910520 date=1258035325]
When i landed in MMA after 5 years out of the country, the first thing i noticed was EYE SHADOW. Eye shadow everywhere (the most popular colour being gold). Streaks of brightly colored eyeshadow everywhere i looked.

Naija babes tend to overdo it on the makeup and accessories. And then you see our big girls squeezing into tight jeans and tops, then end up looking like sausages. And please dont attack me yet, I haven't finished. In other countries they keep it simple. A nice simple outfit, lipgloss, a little eyeliner, brush your eyebrows and you're good. When you're going out for maybe dinner, clubbing, or a special occasion then you can bring on the clothes and makeup.

But in Naija, a girl can go clubbing with the same makeup (even clothes) she wore during the day. It's not a rat race for the richest man nor is it a beauty competition, We need to take it easy abeg. We're looking like Lady GaGa all day. And it has rubbed off on me I'll admit. I wear a little more makeup, accessorize a little more. And it's good on me as long as i don't overdo it.

iI mentioned the same thing in another thread, but people thought I hated NIgerian women - just cause I noticed the excessive (and repetitive) eyeshadow and make-up.

Anyways- I don't get why Nierian women wouldn't be attractive to Nigerian men--- most people appreciate the beauty of their own mother's features if no one else's. LI think alot of NIgerians (like other blacks) are brainwashed into FOLLOWING white people'sdictation of beauty - and everybody is confused

@FlGator: Umm, what do you mean that Akatas look more American? Exactly what is the difference in how Africans and Akatas look? ((I can see a lynch mpb at ny door if I had made sucha statement[b]---WHERE ARE THE NAIRALAND POLICE WHEN YOU NEED THEM?))[/b]

@insongrata: Don't be surprised if you get a visit from men in black,
I'm sure you just caused a few code reds, and other alerts across federal agencies everywhere - LOL.


MY FAVORITES:

NAIRALAND.com
facebook.com
crunktastical.net
cracked.com

^^^^Funny how I never saw such comments when someone started the "Nigerian woimen vs American women" thread, things that make you go hmmmmmmmm.

^^^repeat periodically - or other self-less act of sexual release for him where he is not required to perform (i.e an occassional no pre-intimacy needed romp with the wife on top), he'll be thanking you one way or another within 24 hrs.

Act pleasantly busy all day and then when he falls asleep, wake him with firm kisses on his "package". Suck him til he quakes - and let him know you had been craving the taste of his "pole" all day - and then go to bed- WITHOUT- requiring any servicing from him.

Only in Lagos will a compliment from a person in Uniform, be dreaded because its followed by a mandatory bribe.

This happened to hubby and me: [font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]At the airport luggage Inspection point, the inspector kept saying how "fine the american wife b." And that the hubsband "he dey try" worked hard o- for such a fine babe, And if you want her to remain happy then you should polish the hand that is rummaging through her luggage well well.  

I try to be quiet and act casual so people don't notice I am a visitor, but they always KNOW somehow - that I am not homegrown and it ends up costing. Got to the point where my sister-in-law insisted I stay on the car as she exited for a few items from the market - because I was driving up the prices with just my presence.

I did see a dead body on side of expressway this Sunday returning from V.I.

No - I don't think they are romantic at all! And my husband b Yoruba.

I think Igbo men are more romantic, and willing to wine and dine you, and impress you with stuff - but definitely expect sex much sooner than the Yorubas.

From my experience of course,

At a restaurant. He was staring at me alot from across the restaurant and eventually approached me to inquire why I was dining alone, and that my good looks distracted him from being able to focus on his meal.

The two can be compared. Are compared, and will continue to be compared until the labels are removed - which is probably never since humans like labels and generalizations.

Look at your forum, Most Nigerians here make a distinction about the behavior and attitudes of each tribe, or geography of Nigerians.

But at the end of the day- God sees us all the same.

@Poster: I see it a lot too, and it sucks.

I remember a group of co-workers just talking about other ladies like a dog because of their choice of clothing, their size, and hairstyles. We can really be a petty gender.

I think its because women are generally more self-conscious and insecure than men, so its a defense mechanism to stir up beef as a way of trying to vie for social position or status. We are a lot more covert and passive-aggressive when it comes to our pursuit of ALpha-ness.

I wish we did get along better and learn to compete with no one but ourselves.

Most men don't give a damn how another guy is dressed, cuts his hair, or whether he is slim or fat enough to be part of his crew, but women always set such "requirements" and we still have the nerve to firm cliques based on superficial traits even after adulhood.

^^^^^ Will Smith is as Mulatto as the Igbos are.

Will is 100% black on both sides. Don't get it twisted. That's like saying, Beyince's sister is mulatto because her son had blkue eyes, and wavy hair (which he did when he was younger)

^^^^ Dang- that was a lot of food for thought. Preach!

@Posakosa: Yep- If he beat me I would forgive him, but that doesn't mean I have to stay living with him. The difference is that the bible says for us to :Present you bodies as a living sacrafice unto the Lord, holy and acceptable." It would NOT BE ACCEPTABLE to ALLOW a person to beat and harm my body- which is God's temple.

But even Jesus forgave the people who beat him enroute to the cross.

So I still have to forgive. Now living together as husband and wife after such a deed is dependent on his repentence and rehabilitation efforts (i.e. anger management therapy, counselling, length of separation, and severity of the violence, and if he is still standing after my dad and brothers are done beating the hell out of him, etc)

@giddysgold: The simplest way to TOTALLY PISS OFF some nairalanders is to compose a sentence using the words

"Nigerian men + Black american women + _{any positive adjective whatsoever."}

If you write: A black american woman was thankful a nigerian man helped her,  Londoner Someone will reply "Do you think yuo are so special that Nigerian men only wait all day looking for a chance to help an akata. He's been helping more deserving naija women all day!"

And if you wrote: "the Akata will give birth to a baby while in Nigeria- a[b]men[/b]" , You're sure to get insulted for that too.

it doesn't matter what the sentence actually says, 

Certain people here will have their eyes turn green with envy and they will be raging mad,  and begin to put you down for points you NEVER made, but they think you were thinking it - so you'll be guilty of a lot of wrong deeds here.

I took about N405,000 for a 3 week stay.
Didn't need that much though. Family and Friends are "taxing" much less than in times past.

@Fhemmmy: I try to ignore that STEREOTYPE about Nigerian men, that you so proudly want to declare. Some cheat, some don't - just like Americans, and every other culture. And if my hubby cheated in 9ja- I'll do what MOST NIGERIAN WIVES DO: forgive him, try to move on and do my part in reconciliation and preservation, and understand that marriage is a sacred and Godly covenant not to be ended just because a spouse displays their humanness!

i was underthe impression that Lagos has tons more men than women. Unless maybe the women just stay in doors more. Most families Nigerian families I know in US and Naija have more boy children than female children. In fact a lot of them ended up with so many boys- waiting for a girl to finally pop out.

I t hink naija men in general just have more boy swimmers -- but then again, what do i know sha

@TOPIC:. This sounds more like a problem that African American Women have.

I think you just wanted to vent and justify why you wanna date outside your race/culture.

I don't think this applies to most Nigerians.

I learned a lot from Nigerians about how to be submissive and supportive wife. And since being in Naija I have had a LOT more practice in serving my husband. Its not as bad as I use to think. A wife who can submit (not cowardly or by obligation or fear) but by choice is indeed a powerful and influential woman (in my opinion)

BUT I TOTALLY AGREE with the points int he original post. (except the white woman thing)

What do you you think is the greatest need in education right now in Lagos within

nursery schools?

primary schools?

secondary schools?


British education is valued in some parts of Lagos what about american?