₦airaland Forum

@ chima Naa I don't take stuff personally I say what's on my mind and keep it moving

[quote author=Mrs..Chima]I see sarcasm isn't your strongest suit...stick to creating wild assumptions...you do it very well. [/quote]lol its all good mami

[quote author=Lord_Reed]Glad you realise....[/quote]I already knew that.. I don't think you did

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]Ahhhhh.....i was wondering when you were going to throw the gender card!....when all else gails throw the weak punches huh?

I wasnt offended just dont like assumption by deception. It s a fine line to lying.

Of course it isnt a battle too bad you read more into it then i did.....and didnt know u could tell people expression and emotions from whst they type.

Damn you good....NOT![/quote]lol see what I'm talking about. You were wondering when I was going to throw the gender card ? So you came to the convo with an already prejudiced mindset.

As far as the fathers name thing. I had asked you initial if you uses your fathers name and you said something like " my kids will honor their father ....we agreed to it before marriage." So inductively I assumed you meant your kids will use your husbands name, therefore you are probably using your fathers name.. glad you not offended though

And yes I said this is not battle of the sexes maybe with a little exaggeration but I wanted you to know I wasn't about that . Why I told you to relax.. I mean cmon you were fixated on head and equality to property owning . To the extent you were comparing it to guys marking their territory to slave ownership, to manbitches etc.

The personality thing I could be right, I could be wrong but I pay attention to the style of writing of people a lot. And most times I'm right. It's easier with handwritten stuff.. you seem to be a down to earth and nice person. Maybe it is your e- persona you was putting up I don't know..

Now can we continue on with the topic..

[quote author=Lord_Reed]And you are paid to comment I suppose?[/quote]everything is not about money son. Time for everything. When I'm about money I get money..

[quote author=Mrs..Chima]Where did you see that I kept my father's name? I spoke of children not me. Keep up suga.[/quote]you were half answering questions so based on statements about your kids honoring their fathers name and other statements I inductively assumed that scenario.. apologies If you felt offended by the question

Btw are you always like this? What's up with the tough facade this whole thread..I was genuinely trying to have a conversation with you but you seem to be in one character mode. Relax woman this is not a battle of the sexes..

lol this is intellectual claptrap yet you are more concerned with the price of fish.
are you a market woman,hungry or by any chance a starving somalian?

lol like my man clinton said DO THE ARITHMETIC.
80 percent of nigerians cant swim( lets assume this percentage is true for all most African countries)
therefore only 20 percent can.

In america the percentage of blacks that cant swim is around the 70 percent mark.
therefore 30 prcent cant swim.

i dont know the percentage for the Caribbeans and im not going to bother to dig it up
but based on this simple ARITHMETIC, does the figures suggest or indicate in anyway that its
only an african American or Caribbeans problem. The resounding answer is a BIG NO.

[quote author=Mrs..Chima]And yet you have many fallen Christians. [/quote]what do you mean by fallen christians. i believe there are alot of ignorant christians though
[

I guess you can't give me anything else without retorting to the Bible. It is okay...I figured as much. wink

lol if it is quote you want tell me what you believe in and i will help you. theist, atheist, agnostic i got you..

And to your last sentence...it still won't change facts.

what facts?[quote author=Mrs..Chima]My children will honor their father's...it was agreed prior to marriage.[/quote] not the answer i was looking for but i get the picture lol

Any more questions?

so in your case what made you want to keep your fathers name and was there resistance from your husband before he gave in?

@chima are you using your husband surname or your surname?

[quote author=Mrs..Chima]Nym....

You said:

" ...a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.".. im sure you have read or head about this quote... Yes there are numerous people doing what you just said but i say it still doesn't make it right. just because the husband is ok with and still love each other( which they should)doesn't make it right for the woman to come into the unit with her fathers name. A wife's identity and future lies with her husband and not the father. a married woman becomes one

My answer:

This applies to those who are followers of the Bible and therefore is not applicable to those who DO NOT FOLLOW the Bible and in fact the above quote is for those who practice Christian tenets. Please give me something else that doesn't involve something you read in a book. Thank you very much.[/quote]you dont have to follow the bible to know that when a positive and a negative charge meet they stick together [quote author=Mrs..Chima]Nym....

You said:

ami the man being the head of the family does not mean he is greater or more important than a woman.

My answer:

Tell that to the manbitches that think otherwise.[/quote]i tell those that care to listen.[quote author=Mrs..Chima]Nym.

You said:

tw are you suggesting that just because some slave owners treats their slaves better than some husbands, it makes their inhumane acts right and should be applauded?

My answer:

Neither should the husbands who beat/mistreated their wives and later repented shouldn't be applauded either. Either way it doesn't change what was done therefore are we going to punish them in totality?[/quote]i never said they should be applauded. thats my stand all along. but i think you re comparing apples and oranges here in my opinion

[quote author=Mrs..Chima]I disagree with your response to number 2 because I know several women who have kept their father's surname as an honor to their late fathers and they love and respect their marriage to the core. I even asked the husbands how did they feel and they were like it is just a surname and I respect her decision to keep the father surname and all of the children has HIS SURNAME because both agreed PRIOR to marriage.

I have an African friend who is married to an African woman and they both have different surnames and the children has hyphenated surname of both parents. They have been married for 22 years. Don't look like they are living as two people to me.[/quote]" ...a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.".. im sure you have read or head about this quote... Yes there are numerous people doing what you just said but i say it still doesn't make it right. just because the husband is ok with and still love each other( which they should)doesn't make it right for the woman to come into the unit with her fathers name. A wife's identity and future lies with her husband and not the father. a married woman becomes one with her husband and their destinies one so to speak[quote author=Mrs..Chima]Some slave owners treated their slaves better than some husbands have treated their wives. Don't lie. It doesn't matter how you spin it....you know damn well many of you men view your wives as commodity. The moment a man say that she is to be submissive and subservient to me turn into a boss/employee aura.[/quote]ok i dont think you understood my point at all because you are making the point i was making but in a different way. i said no one dares actually maltreats the things or people they love. Now if a husband treats their wife badly and demeans them does that sound like love to you.

here another quote for you..."However, let each one of you love his wife as himself" So now if a husband views his wife or so called soul mate, one supposedly coming from own ribs, as a commodity, does he appear as one who loves his wife or even himself since it is written that a husband and a wife becomes like one flesh..

btw are you suggesting that just because some slave owners treats their slaves better than some husbands, it makes their inhumane acts right and should be applauded?

Just like you said...husband and wife become one...how is the man the head if the wife is one with him? A person can't be the head and equal to those beneath him. It is like trying to chew and swallow at the same time.

mami the man being the head of the family does not mean he is greater or more important than a woman. head here means leadership. The only difference between a man and a woman are the roles but both are important and equal in status.it is always the nature of the fimenine to be led and the nature of the masculine to lead. The man leads, protect,direct and above all loves and cherishes his woman and the woman follows, helps, nurtures, grounds and also loves her man.

the man is the head and the woman the body and heart. its like your conscious and subcouscious mind. when the two are in harmony and each is doing their job the sky is the limit.. so by head i was not talking about greater in rank or equality. its only ignorants that thinks that way.

yes the man seems to have the greater power because the decisions making abilities lies with him as the leader of the union. but we all know with great power comes great responsibilities. and you know what happens when we don't make those important decisions correctly, all hell breaks loose

[quote author=*Kails*]i have noticed that too.

but there are some thick light chicks. i guess because i am used to seeing dark chicks who are, whena light chick is thick, she looks "extra thick". Like "Deelishis" from Flavor of Love...her bootay isn't as big as Buffy the Body but it looks huge! [/quote]no wonder my man flavor couldn't handle the deelishious love... you right about thick light skins though.

our kids? lol na wah!

i just like good food.
i do prefer caribbean and asian food though.
haven't tried a lot of african.

most definetly. I'm thinking a basketball team too .... You should try some more African food.. I love Jamaica food though. One of my friends mother makes the best curry goat..

[quote author=*Kails*]lol as a caribbean i am bewildered, shocked, amazed and offended @ the notion! [/quote]lol see drama .Alright then sue him for a bottle of Jamaican Rum

[quote author=*Kails*]^^^
not trying to put you on blast,
but i feel like i know you..
is this your only id? [/quote]Of course you know me in our past life. We are connected

This has always been my first Id and last. I just don't usually post much.. I'm usually at the religious section but the ignorance got too much for me so I left.

ezeagu: You helped the thread by bringing in info about the amount of riverine people that could swim which showed that this was not a 'Black-African' problem.

how is it not a black African problem.. Even if those statistics are true because I doubt the 63 percentage ..

What's the culture and occupation of these Africans that live on these riverbanks.. how important is the rivers to their livelihood and survival.

Also how many people in the Caribbean live on river banks and have their livelihood /occupation and survival tied to the water.

Been surrounded by the sea does not guarantee that you will know how to swim.. if you have a lifestyle where you're doing 9- 5 and a culture where the people don't really care much about water. They are not going to go that much near the water to swim..

Lagos is pretty much surrounded by water and the sea but I can assure you that the majority of the people do not know how to swim.. They are out there rather hustling to get a living than worry about going for a swim ..

[quote author=Mrs..Chima]There is no such thing as black blood and in fact many theories have stated that Whites came from Blacks originally and they were byproduct of albino babies left in the wilderness to die because Blacks in ancient times thought pale babies were demonic or infected.[/quote]ok don't play dumb you know what I meant . We all know at least some of us, that humanity came from one common ancestor or one man..

Lol didn't even realize the thread was resurrected from the dead..

Btw I understand where you coming from and your " wondering" but the point is linking the problem to slavery is preposterous ..

[quote author=Mrs..Chima]Kim Kardashian isn't Black and she is more endowed then some of the Black women regardless of skin color.[/quote]well some Armenians and Persians are naturally endowed.. most endowed girls of countries like the Italians, Portuguese , Spanish have black blood in them anyway.. ..

Btw you made some points in your earlier responses I will address them when I get home. Left home Using my phone right now. Only do short responses with my phone

[quote author=*Kails*]LOL WTF? light skin women don't have proportions too? [/quote]" most" endowed black women do I just think iMO that darkskin women fits the rod better.

and yes i cook. y?

well good cuz one I have a high metabolism and love to eat and now know our kids won't go hungry. . what's your favorite food and recipe..

[quote author=Mrs..Chima]Marking your territory is the same as claiming something as property. A woman having your surname doesn't and won't keep another man from dabbling in your "property".[/quote]There is nothing wrong with marking or claiming something as property.. its the intent behind it that counts. It is human nature to claim,mark and fight for the things that we love and cherish.. you don't claim something you hate or have a disdain for.. As such if you are maltreating something you own or have a stake in then you dont love or cherished it in the first place.. Any man that maltreats his woman that he thinks is supposedly his " property" never loved her I'm the first place.. Or maybe the Love waned. .. No one treats the things and people they love badly..

As a woman...I wouldn't want my husband to claim me as property or his territory as if I am an asset or commodity. It is the same as a slave owner saying brand the slaves so people can recognize who they belong to.

your analogy is wrong mami. Slave owners maltreats their slaves and dehumanize out of hate and disdain and not Love..

Btw I don't see why a female should think and compare themselves to a commodity just because of us marking our territory..

[quote author=Mrs..Chima]Answer to number 2...this is what the MEN SAID...they said it is a way that a woman can be tied to her husband therefore she is HIS PROPERTY. [/quote]well sorry but MEN with those mentality are ignorants and know no better.. You can't refer to your woman or wife as PROPERTY as in something you buy off the street.. human beings are above that. A woman becomes a helper and an extension of the man when they become ONE UNit and is equal to a man.. Any sane and sensible man knows that Looking at your woman as a property means you look at yourself as a property as well. Not smart!!!

Answer to number 3....the man is the head of the house has nothing to do with her taking his name naturally if it was natural then women wouldn't have opposition with taking their husband's surname.

Yes it is.. Any woman having an issue indicates that consciously or subconciously they still see themselves as separate from the man. But the reality is that once the two come together they become as ONE.. That's what marriage is about. If it wasn't then what's the reason for both to live under the same roof.. because if it was about just sex and babies then all we had to do was stay at our separate abodes and call each other for boo.Ty calls when the need arises..

[quote author=*Kails*][/quote]

lol silly sef.
bleaching never that! dark till i die!

I just love darkskin women.. They usually have everything in the right proportions ..
Do you cook?

[quote author=*Kails*]lol so if the woman wants him to have her surname and he obliged..would that make him a sucker?

@username question,
i just wanted to start over.

the "msdarkskin" name has been through to much ish and things im not proud of.
to you i am sure it makes no sense but for me it a necessary move.[/quote]slaps will not do in this scenario because tNot only a sucker but he should be castrated and consider handing the pants over to the woman.

@ username as long as you keep making intelligent posts which drew you to me and stays darkskin and no bleaching we ll be fine

[quote author=*Kails*]so you don't think it is means to "mark property" or claim a female into a family?
lets not forget the reason for last names to begin with.[/quote]I know but I wanted to know if she meant it as in servitude mode. Because I don't see anything wrong with us marking our territory and I also don't see why my woman should..

If she meant servitude mode then its a different ball game

^^^^ So you only worried bout the kids identity? Btw any man that would let his kids have any other surname besides his should be slapped back to his senses..

@darkskin why you not using your other username anymore.

somalia5: somali people dont have problems swimming.

lol of course not we all know 90 percent of somalians are pirates...

On a serious note no one is saying all black people can't swim though ..

1. I believe your husband did the right thing.. I mean why should he be part of something he does not support or condone..
2. I don't see why or how changing a females surname to the husbands denotes to keeping the woman in property mode. Why did you make that statement ?
3. A union between a man and his woman makes them ONE unit and the man being the head of the family it is only natural for the woman to take after the man's surname..

The surname should not be the issue But LOVE.. W

^^^^ Cmon son I know you're intelligent so don't disappoint me. The Harewood guy acknowledged that the problem seems not to be just not an African American or Caribbean thing but Africans as well. He even cited his observations and experiences in west Africa and east Africa to back up his postulations however true or not..

So
1. if the assertion, based on observations from blacks in the diaspora is that , blacks in Africa seems to have the same problem
2. The enslaved diasporian blacks came from blacks in Africa
3. Blacks in Africa were not enslaved or forced to cross the ocean

Therefore its safe to say in this case that it is a " black" problem and not just diasporians. So then why the infatuation with linking the problem to slavery ? .. the guy you quoted from even said he jokingly attributes it slavery. Yet instead of dwelling on the main message he was making which is; its a " black" problem, you rather for whatever reason dwelled on his mundane point connecting it to slavery. Which was a joke to begin with..