₦airaland Forum

I may be too "modern", alright, but...if marriage is between the man and his bride, aka not between the man and her family...who in the name of god do these people think they are, making demands? Frankly he should observe how his bride reacts - if she tells her family to back off, then she's a keeper, otherwise? There are over 4 billion ladies on the world, keep marching on my man...

Flash news buddy: if we cannot get it right regarding relations between majority and minorities (even those that have lived among us for a millennia or more) here in the West where money is not a problem and our governments are hellbent over "inclusivity" since the end of WW2 (so there has been time to try and reshape mentality to be more accepting)...do you think prosperity will solve all the issues?

It means people will always find some reason to fight, especially in areas where povery exacerbates the issues. And local areas don't work here in the West, with some provinces having GDP in the hundreds of billions and they still fail at most basic tasks - take Milan here in Italy, with a GDP of $493 billion, as an example, and its quality of life is still utter trash comparing average income vs cost of living and services provided.

it's why we have NATIONAL governments, to (in theory) intervene where local institutions, whether formal or informal, fail.

I visited my parents some...5 hours ago?

I admit I am lucky enough to live in a relatively prosperous area, where they lived their entire lives, so I did not have to go abroad or seek employement far away from home - I just moved a few towns over to buy home at a slightly cheaper price, but really, it's 10 kilometers - hardly a long distance at all.

If you are unhappy in a relationship, getting married will NOT save your relationship. If you're happy in said relationship, marrying your S.O. won't change much either. It's a cultural legacy in the entire world - whether you wish to get married or not is up to you really.

I found out about this forum by pure chance a while ago, ended up staying here even if I'm Italian. There are some westerners that find the older style of the forum quite likeable. That, or just it's nice to read about another nation(s)

....good for you? I mean, I personally find it absurd and would never consider it, but if you are happy - good luck?

Happy birthday mate!

HugeElephant:
do you like my nairaland profile picture?

can you share yours lets see.

You're a liar, give your username is HugeElephant, yet you got a horse as your image.

Shame on you (joking )

guobe:
I am a year older today..Thanking God for life.

Happy birthday man!

Laws are too stacked against men here in the West, in the event of divorce.

Simple as.

I feel like a necromancer since we're resurrecting a dead thread

Children ought to honor their parents, as well as take care of them once they are unable to take care of themselves, for they brought you in this world and sacrified their time and money to give you a shot at life out of pure love.

Anyone thinking that helping your elderly mother - the woman that raised you - is something only a "loser" would do deserves little more than to be spit upon by any decent human being..

.

faceLAGOS:
My only hope is to get out of this country.

Thank god I was finally able to pick my passport after almost 2 years of trying.

Hopefully, before the year runs out or early 2024, I shall be in Manitoba.

I’ve decided to stay single & not have anything to do with any Nigerian girl & also to avoid unnecessary stress from hustling to survive.

Only to learn truck driving.

I am sorry to be the bringer of bad news but pretty much everywhere things are looking to go down south. I do not know how things are where you're planning to move to, but I can tell you that things are going downhill even in the wider "West" - I'm Italian, and I've not seen a "good" year since I've become an adult and started working, be it in Italy, Switzerland, Germany or East Europe.

Salaries are not keeping up with the increasing cost of life anywhere, at least from what I've seen/read online/heard from pals living abroad.

I speak only for Western Europe, but the overall feeling is one of terminal decline - forget the big house that the previous generations were able to easily afford, forget the large families your grandparents told you about since you won't be able to afford it over here...forget the nice, cushy job that one imagines when he/she thinks about the Western world.

I hope things are better where you're planning to move to

Moh247:




Reality is different.... As a guy if you have average libido, you'd want to have sex atleast twice a week

In Nigeria Your option of getting Legal consensual sex are

1: Get married, pay bride price and start paying endless bills atleast 50k to 100k a month

2: get hookup and escorts every weekend from a club for atleast 15k to 20k, hotel 10k. Refreshments 10k 55k to 200k per month

3: Get a young girlfriend ask her out , place her on a budget 5k a week, 10k a week , 20k a month.. when she needs a phone you get get her, you assist with petty cash

4: Stay single and continue masturbating
.

You forgot the 5th option: have self-respect while being realistic in your expectations; work on yourself and focus on improving your lot in life. You will meet a lot of women along the way since women are naturally attracted to a determined man who has his act together. Discard the ones looking at you as if you were a walking wallet as well as the ones infected by "modern values", in order to focus on the ones left - among these you will likely find a quality woman that is worthy of your time.

I'm no prophet, but this worked for me - some aspects of men/women interactions are simply natural, so they carry over cultural differences.

capetownboyz:
My Igbo brothers , if you have ever been married to another lady from another tribe (Yoruba ) .. what prompted your decision to marrying her , irrespective of the differences we share as a tribe, person and personalities coupled with the negative thoughts thrown towards each other …Cause am in a fix deciding wether to be fully committed to my woman 👩… I love her but coming to a decision to settling with another tribe ,I am still looking for a source of motivation to do so ..

Maybe it's me being from another country, but being in a relationship with a woman from a foreign culture I think I can lend an alternative point of view.

You claim to love this woman. Does she love you back? If she does love you and you love her...why do you care what others think?

A man should honor his father as well as his mother, but that doesn't mean the parents have a right to make decisions their son should make for himself. It's normal for a child to grow up and leave his parents' home in order to make his own way in life. It's normal for him to make decisions that his parents might disagree with.

A man chooses for himself who to spend his life with, and no one in this world has a right to deny him that choice.

You either love this woman and see yourself growing old with her, or you don't. If you do, ignore whatever others might think knowing you're in the right. If you still have doubts, I'd take some time to really think whether you truly love her..

I'll simply say that this doesn't apply at all when you meet someone that truly loves you and is willing to put in the effort to show you she feels that way - I've been with my partner for a decade at this point and I can say without the shadow of a doubt that I doubt I could easily meet a woman that is "better".

Maybe I'll meet someone more beautiful, younger or older - true, but better at loving me and proving she feels that way in any way one can think of (from helping me work to cook etc)? I seriously doubt it.

There are women that are worth tying oneself to, they are just hard to find. The other (good) side of the coin is that once you find one the wandering eye will likely stop wandering since you won't feel the need to wander yourself.

Albertone:
Here is the chat a Nigerian leech sent to her boyfriend. A broke girl blaming her boyfriend for what she can't afford to give herself.
The entitlement mentality is choking.

I won't be surprised if she claims to be a feminist. Because it's only when it reaches to collect from a man that they remember men and women are not equal.

Relationship is not a poverty alleviation scheme!

The idea that being in a relationship with a man entitles her to his money, as well as the fact that she mentions she can "collect from other guys" when single is a clear sign to me - she clearly doesn't respect him as a person, so why would any self-respecting man be with such a woman?

Just my opinion, but I'd leave her where you found her, be it a cheap pub or the streets. You can do better.

Here is a tip, free of charge - it's easier to get a side-hustle or a job (if unemployed) to pay for your study material, than beg random strangers on an online forum.

Tl;dr - Getting a job to pay for study material > Begging strangers on an online forum

First of all - wrong section, but you already know that.

Regarding your question, is having Paypal a must? If it gives you so many problems, I'd consider alternatives (e.g. Alipay, etc).

If it is a must have, I'd try to make an account and see if it gets banned - your friend might have just told you half of the story and he could have been using his Paypal account for illicit reasons and thus got banned.

If your account does get banned, I'd suggest to come back here with the details of "why" it got banned, and then people could likely help you.

I wish you good luck, for each and every one of us deserves to be loved.

Words to live by. And before any woman tries to shame others for thinking like this, know that it's the same even in the West, so don't try to blame this behavior on someone growing up poor and seeking stability etc.

I'd add - simply be yourself, live a good life and try to be a good person. Hang around people that are positive and share your own interests, and the right woman will likely come along.

It's a very old idea that is quite common in Europe, even if it's not that talked about. It's a great way to keep a community's wealth inside its borders by creating a "parallel economy".

If you want to see a successful example, look up "Sardex" - it's a "complementary currency" that was born in the region of Sardinia, Italy, and has reached the points where it's used by over 11 000 enterprises, it has its own lending institution and has increased local GDP growth by up to 3-4% in some areas.

There are very few links in English, but I managed to dig up some if you're interested in reading about this social experiment (not the only one currently running in Italy, just one of the most successful).

Article in English - https://sailorsforsustainability.nl/portfolio/sardex-a-local-currency-for-a-circular-economy-ita/
Link in Italian (the main organization organizing the usage of the currency) - https://www.sardexpay.net/

...maybe I'm confirming the stereotype that people from where I live don't like big butts, but I don't think a big ass looks good on a white woman.

You are asking for answers that will confirm your personal bias. You'll be called beautiful by some, ugly by others.

The more important thing is that you shouldn't care about what others think about yourself.

...every day we stray further away from God, that's all I have to say.

Junni0r:
My name is junior

I am new here

My friend introduced me to this forum, hope i am welcomed...

Welcome, enjoy your stay

Philosopher1979:
Because we were trained from childhood not to speak up for ourselves. Our parents did not listen to us as children.
Whites on the other hand listen to their children and that is why they invent things.
Questions are the basis of knowledge and intelligence

I can tell you straight away that many whites say "Sorry" before asking a question just as often, since it implies the longer form "Sorry to disturb you, but [insert question]", and that way too many parents do not listen to their children at all here in the West.

BlackisBuT:
Honestly it's really fun to me since my friend introduced me to nl I have been laughing and I noticed there are some crazy folks here . especially the comments section

Welcome! It is a nice place overall. Enjoy your stay.

If you love your wife/girlfriend/partner (however you wish to call the woman you spend your life with), how would you feel if she betrayed the trust you placed in her? How do you think she would feel if you did the same to her?

When you decide to be with someone, you make a covenant - not even a religious one, but more akin to a covenant based on mutual trust and honor, where you both implicitly declare you will be there for the other in her/his times of need, and expect she/he to do the same for you; the difference between a man and a boy is the simple fact that a man respects his word once given.

This is all I need to resist another woman, be a married one or a single one, young or old - if I didn't love my partner, I'd not be with her, but since I do, I am. The choice whether you consider yourself a man or a little boy unable to hold himself to his own freely given word is up to you.