₦airaland Forum

Rep042:
My marriage is just 1 year and few days old,but within the last 365 days,I have seen torment and hell on daily basis. We dated for 2 years before tying the knot,she's a nice person,but her mouth is destructive,she has this overbearing attitude,always trying to control me or dictate the pace,and can keep malice,anger and record of evil done to her for a long time. She's the type of person that talks very well,I mean convincely well,but unfortunately,she speaks more negative words. She can talk for hours non-stop,especially when provoked,saying all sorts of bad words.

She has threatened to kill me & send assassins after me on different occasions in the past,though I just ignored such threats.

My wife has been abusing me verbally and always say nasty things at every slightest provocation and at the same ready to engage me in fisticuffs.

She can really say unprintable words such as "it will not be well with you","as you go out,people will deal with you", "you will work like an elephant and eat like an ant", "this your certificate will never yield you any good thing", etc, name callings,abuses,curses etc.

Please Nairalanders, I will like to know if it is wrong or out of place for a working class married lady to assist her husband in paying some bills or buying some foodstuffs at home. Because,anytime she assists in doing anything,she will record it and consequently use that to abuse and insult me whenever we have misunderstanding and or exchange of words.

After our traditional marriage on December 2013,I had some financial challenges,and then my rent was due for renewable,she offered to assist,at first I was skeptical about it ,because I know her kind of person,knowing full well that she will use that to ridicule and abuse me in no distant time. But,then,I didn't have any alternative,so I allowed her pay d rent. Now,she's claiming ownership,saying ..."which house,the one that I have been paying the rent or another one"...

She has done a lot of character assassination & damages to my personality before some of her relatives & family members(Her father and two sisters),thus they all support her & no longer regard me as anybody.

Few months into our marriage,she started wearing butt pads, I told her to stop ,because I don't like the stuff,but she flared up and we had exchange of words. She told me that she has to look good to outsiders.

Throughout her pregnancy period,she wore the butt pads on daily basis even at home,I allowed her because of her condition,even though it looked disgusting on her. After she put to bed,and few days later, I told her to quit wearing that stuff, but she refused,then I seized it,she started ranting to the hearing of everyone at home & neighbors that I have taken her padded pants(aka butt pad) to native doctor. I just ignored her. Few days later, she bought another set.

On Xmas day(2014),she dressed up & wore the butt pads again,I told her to remove it ,but she refused,then i tried forcing her to do so,and that resulted to a serious fight. She tore my already ironed clothes to pieces(an expensive Indian attire I bought when I travelled to India),I tore hers too and forced the butt pads out from her body.

Hell was let loose that day,because she called her sisters,they came to my house and created a very nasty scene in my neighborhood,they insulted,ridiculed me and made a mockery of me,her elder sister who is a police officer threatened to deal with me,she was talking and hitting her hands on the ground saying that,they are going to teach me some bitter lessons in this town. I tried to respond but my Mum,who's on child's visit(Omugwo) asked me to hold my peace. It wasn't easy though,they also insulted her too.

Since that day till date,my wife doesn't talk to me. The only thing that connects us now is the new born baby.

Her words have actually killed me psychologically, emotionally etc, to the extent that sometimes, I loose consciousness of my surrounding while driving to and fro from work , I will be lost in thought, and on a particular occasion nearly rammed another moving vehicle,if not for the speed bumps on the road that awaken my consciousness.


Her words:"if you are still regarding me as your wife,then you wasting your time". Its obvious she wants a divorce because to her,she's still very young(28 years),and can easily move on. She doesn't give a damn.

She has also repeated that same threat of killing me,these days ,the number of calls entering her phone is amazing,most times,she goes far from the house to answer those calls.

Please,kindly advice me.
Thank you.

wisdomguy4u:
I have been dating this girl for more than a year; and I intent to marry her. But lately, while she was in my house for a visit we had a hot quarrel ( that's normal ). She was shouting at me, calling me name and swearing ; yes, it was obvious that she was pissed off and likewise me. When things were stating to escalate, I angrily ask her the leave my house , because she was stating to create a scene in my neighborhood . That was when she said something that baffled me and got me thinking. She said a lot of bad things to me , I never took any of them to heart because I knew she was angry , but not until she said this exact words " YOU HAVE TO PAY ME FOR ALL THE SEX YOU HAD WITH ME BEFORE I WILL LEAVE".
This got me thinking, have I been dating a prostitute? Why will she quantum sex with money?
Now, she is apologizing and asking me for forgiveness . A part of me wants to continue with the affair because I still love her and we have gone a long way, moreover, I have already introduce her to my family. But , another part of me don't want to continue because I feel like I don't know her and that she might have a dark secrets which might explode after marriage.
Guys what's your say in this scenario ?

ogaprime:
Op as your guest go dey...


Just...

greens:
Dear friends.
My wedding will be coming up on Jan 03 2015. My problems is that I will be compelled to dance. That is my major concern now because I cant remember if I have ever danced in public before and I know I dont know how to dance

Please drop your tips dears.

Thank you very much

Empero1:
@OP

My special advice to you is to start from today to group all the people in your life in the following sequences : Acquaintance , Associate , Colleague , Friend , Extended Relation , Blood Relation and " Merited Blood Relation " .

chaircover:
Men and wahala ooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Your gf told you not to go to a wedding of another female friend that did not invite you to her wedding and you want to put on shoe and go
Okay oooooooo!

Dont come back here and open thread that my "gf is not talking to me" or "my gf went to greet her male friend on New Years day but refused to visit me"

Bros, take some of that Turkey you are frying, wrap it in foil, call your girlfriend and you both head down to Badagry beach and enjoy yourselves. End of discussion

taryour:
Guy biko free this thing jare, I for one don't see any big deal in this. Maybe cause of my person and a very busy one. If you want to go please go,if you don't want to go biko stay your house and sleep or go else where.

For real I don't see any issue in this that you needed to open a thread. If someone invites you for a wedding fine,if they don't then fine as well,life continues.

Have you also considered she might have sent you text message or called you and due to poor network you couldn't get it.

My own blood cousin accused me of not bringing my wedding iv personally to her house, and guess what? I called her bluff. Yes I did cause I dint expect such from her, we where very close and I expected her to understand better, her mum who is my mum sister already is among the planner and her sisters as well so there was no way she wunt get all the info 100 percent,yet she still wanted me to bring iv personally to her house and her hubby office.

so bone all this and be a man abeg,except if you have secretly admired her all this while and can't open up. That will be the only reason for acting like this.

EfemenaXY:
You sound desperate, idle, and definitely up to no good. I doubt you're giving us the full gist and you probably do not wish her well.

The writing's on the wall man. You aren't wanted. Neither were you invited. So why force yourself on her & her fiancee-now-husband-to-be?

Unless awoof calling for free food is irresistible. Are you hungry, @ OP?

MarvellousGod:
Did you at some point date her or had any string attached? ? If No, then go share her joy with her afterall your friends are going too.... She may even be so happy seeing you. ...Also, if you don't go now, you will strt keeping grudges wch ain't good for ya health. ...



eehh, one question, did she send messages to your mutual friends but excluded you??

babadee1:
If Buhari really wanted to Islamize Nigeria he would have done it a long time ago as military head of state, not now under the democratic era. How exactly would that work? Will he send a bill to the National Assembly to vote on that Ngeria should be under sharia law? And after that will two-thirds of all the state houses of assembly in the country ratify that vote? People need to think these things through before they talk. This so called bishop is just another rabble rouser.

adewasco2k:
Funny because just last week I asked my girl to move to the back seat for my G and she did but we had a serious fight when we got back home.

I didn't know it was a big issue, if we are married I sure will not do that but a girlfriend or fiancee I still feel I will prefer my G by my side and my woman behind.....means nothing though n I can't even explain why I want that.

The difference is I will not do it to her again because I love her, if after telling him about it and he still continues then sure he doesn't love you.

BTW is that you on your profile?

emusmith:
Well Well Well... My list is more of a Counter-Thread To What Ireneony posted...

What qualifies these Ladies to qualify to be in my LIST is their ability to:

1. Behave themselves by not uttering abusive words at folks here in a forum as this.

2. Keeping quiet at topics over their heads, instead they show interest to learning from the op or anyone else.

3. Their posts! Quite Intelligent and Mind Boggling.

4. Their tenderness to quoting you or anyone else... They reply with caution and understanding.

5. They don't discuss "Ukwu" nor "Pee pee" SO MUCH. They do not wash their dirty linens in the public.

6. They are ACTIVE here in NL...If you're not active, how I go take know you?

7. Their PMs says something about them.

I've been here long enough to observe those ladies fit for marriage or a few others pretending to be (but are Runz gyals in disguise).

A little others need some more time to outgrow "busybody" and "Magasm"!

If your NAME is absent, take it "with a pinch of salt ooo"!

#This is for singles #

#This list isn't partial @ ALL#



10. https://www.nairaland.com/farano

9. https://www.nairaland.com/mprex

8. https://www.nairaland.com/janeify

7.https://www.nairaland.com/elantracey

6.https://www.nairaland.com/jennimma

5. https://www.nairaland.com/nnekamezor

4.https://www.nairaland.com/mizmycoli

3. https://www.nairaland.com/gracebestowed

2. https://www.nairaland.com/missmossy

1.https://www.nairaland.com/dymondgurl


This list has the potential to be imperfect...

You can make up your own list...

MizMyColi:
That's private.

Beht, for what it's worth, even though, I may not be able to hold body............
I would that I steer clear off sex in a relationship.

This isn't about religion now, or religosity.
I have deeply ingrained values.
Violating any of them is akin to setting myself up for mental stress and difficulty.

I agree, I am too ethical, even for my liking.

MizMyColi:
That's private.

Beht, for what it's worth, even though, I may not be able to hold body............
I would that I steer clear off sex in a relationship.

This isn't about religion now, or religosity.
I have deeply ingrained values.
Violating any of them is akin to setting myself up for mental stress and difficulty.

I agree, I am too ethical, even for my liking.

alfredo4u:
I ask God for forgiveness. we r just friends now and we talk once a while.

alfredo4u:
It happened 31st dec 2009 pass-ova nite. I met her in ha place not knowin she was married and had 2 kids.
I took ha out and ended up sleeping wit ha.
Wheneva i rememba it, i feel like killing mysef.
Pals, should i confess to d husband or tell my current babe?

Jennimma:
Sweetheart,i understand your plight. I do....my advice is this If there is no commitment,keep dating other guys. You can't continue keeping yourself for a guy who is not ready thereby wasting precious years.

If he is serious about you,no one would tell him to see your parents quickly.

FavourGee:
Hello everyone!

I have been dating this guy for a year now, both of us have jobs so I don't ask him for any financial assistance.
for sometime now I have been getting suitors, they are five in number now asking for my hand in marriage but I keep turning them down because I am hoping on my present relationship though the stuborn ones are still disturbing me with marriage proposals.

I decided to let my boyfriend know about them, the response I got from him wasn't satisfactory. From my own understanding he's not ready to settle down any time soon neither did he tell me to wait for him nor propose to me.

I am confused right now, I don't know if I should wait
for him till when he's ready but my fear is what if he never propose. I really love him and I know he loves me too.

Matured advice please.

"Please don't mind my typing skills I am typing through one kpalasa phone"