₦airaland Forum

Starlight10:
who told you your argument is intelligent??
Haha. You cant even own up to your initial statement of advising men to have Multiple partners so they will be desirable by their wives. I guess you are ashamed of yourself now hence the denial.

This is obviously getting interesting!
You leave the issue of discus and you start vacillating....the next barefaced gameplan of urs was to heap accusations on me when you are apparently having a serious discernment deficiency!
Please quote where i encouraged op to have multiple partners!
In deed common sense is not common!

Starlight10:
stop lieing, you said you advice men to have multiple partners. Lool

Kindly quote where i said so or forever slap your miscalculating and gawky fingers

Starlight10:
you are just trying so hard to put me down and make my opinion inferior to yours.

These are your words and submissions not mine! Deal with it yourself!

Starlight10:
It just occured to me i am exchanging words with a man whose initial contribution was to advice MEN TO HAVE MULTIPLE PARTNERS SO HE WILL BE DESIRABLE. Lool.

Its disconcerting that you are bent on manipulatively twisting my very words so that you can be seen as the helpless victim!
Once again....these are your submissions not mine!
If at this stage of your life you cant discern simple statements,i can imagine what you might do in reality!

Starlight10:
[s]Does that so called partner of yours know she is not the only one? Your character is very questionable. You are probably infected with std. So pls go seek help[/s]

Well another series of balderdash when met with a superior argument!

I dont intend to resort to the gutter(where you may come from) with you because it quite obvious you lack the 'quotient intellectuel' to engage me in a matured and civilized discus!

Starlight10:
you are the one to check its meaning because if you have someones love and attention you wont need to be wooing them again. But i dont expect you to know that.

If you knew the explanation,why asking me?
...and where has wooing become one sided?

NkayStory:
You males are extremely bias..If it was a male complaining of his wife verbally abusing him,you wouldnt say all these....Why would a jobless husband who vlaim to be the 'Head of House' and 'captain of the ship' be unable to fulfil his financial obligatiin YET VERBALLy ABUSES ME on top again?..abeg i beg that is a double-barreled trajedy.

Its quite disturbing and shamefully perturbing that at this age of advanced info tech,your likes will be making unguided and unintelligible assumptions simply because of gender!
If you only love or respect him as the 'head of the house' only when he is financially capable,then you are not fit for a relationship let alone marriage!
You can as well marry a man while hoping and praying that he doesn't go through any financial crisis or he doesn't get sacked from work!
...Maybe,you will pack your things and go stay with your parents like the OP's wifey!

Well...this statement of yours,though petty,is your opinion and you are entitled to it!
However,not every lady has this skewed mindset of yours!

NkayStory:
You keep rambling about men being 'success object'.,so what??...You cannot eat your cake and have it..
As long as you keep shoving down the 'its a man's World' mantra down our throats claiming some silly 'African culture' be ready to bear the financial responsibiliies to the full..
No amount of nairaland lamentations will change that until you learn to think like Europeans,that is the omly way women in this climes WILL ACT LIKE ONE ,so deal with it!!

Its quite obvious these unintelligent and irritating rumblings are emanating from one who has been through a lot from bad company!
Sorry dear...you will finally be alright!
Don't go and work!
Keep waiting for a man that will shoulder all your responsibilities...smh!

Starlight10:
please explain wooing. Lol

I believe there is a google app in your phone that can expertly translate wooing to a language you can easily comprehend!

Starlight10:
lool. I maintain he should keep looking for a job while he works on the relationship by fanning the flames of romance and love and all that. If he doesnt want a divorce.you didnt even hear the womans side of the story and you are just concluding. Your ignorance and myopic reasoning is beyond me. This is 2019 not 1940

That was never your initial submission however lets say you agree with your latest submissions....we are not talking about a teenager or a school leaver....we are talking about a full grown woman who is married and should be in her matrimonial home trying to encourage and inspire her downcast hubby whom she obviously depends on for financial security rather than waiting for him come and fan flames of romance and love when its apparent she left because there was no money in him any more...
Your naivety is really glaring!


My dear....I know you are not this slow-witted in discerning but don't make me think you are...From the outset,we are not talking about the woman's side because we were working under the assumption that OP's submissions are true pending when we hear from her own side of the story!

Finally,the rest of your discursive statements are insignificant,insubstantial and at best,injudicious!
Learn to cogitate before typing!

Skepticus:
Tunagee, you are just a victim of blue pill trap set for you because of your background from a broken home. You were being the nice gentleman and husband material of 1 million yards fighting for your marriage.

Sadly, women, even the best of them don't play by these rules. I've seen a lot of it in life. As a matter of fact, it's the reason she disrespected and left your sorry ass immediately shît hit the fan because everything you talked about smirks of weak masculinity and being sissy.

You were never really in charge. She and her mother control the marriage, you were just a mere provider.

I'll let you know a thing, you mentioned all these moralistic nonsense of "I don't smoke" , "I don't drink" thinking it would make you seem nicer to her and the society (I'm not advising you to change and do all these, but you can do it once in a while to step up your appearance of control and being in charge). I can assure you that your lady might be presently attracted to a guy with standards far below yours, but who puts himself at peak value of positive masculinity and make the lady strive for it.

That's what women respect in men. Even the worst of hardcore feminist would respect you if you hold your own as a male who owns is shît and not being manipulated or cowed around. Women are not fools. Their social and emotional intelligence is way above average and it's the reason why they control relationships today, and complain about how weak men of today are, spiking up feminism in high numbers. You are one of the reasons, it's happening now.

Back to your marital life, accept it that sometimes, shît can go wrong in a man's life. No one can have it perfect but how you handle these negative circumstances put you as the head of your home and not a whining sissy begging a bîtch.

I'll advise you that you pick yourself up, instead of sucking up and get something to do. No matter the pay, just get busy. I'm glad you have your own house. I'll not ask you to seek for divorce immediately. It still makes you look like a whimp and gives her the control of what she wanted. Open a bank account for your kid's upkeep send him whatever you can muster at any point and keep a record of it (You won't be able to fight for your child's custody in court at his age, unless you can prove that her mother is unfit to train your son). Keeping a record of it would make you be able to have some rep from your son, would make him to share in your experiences and understand how to man up. Remember, he is in the hands of manipulative women who may turn him against you, risking him, turning sissy and suffering the same fate as you, when he becomes a married adult too.

Focus on your hustle and open yourself to meeting more women. It would help you understand the world of women in dating and marriage. I don't advise marriage at this time. You may end up with another bitchy lady. Dress well, look good and try not to call or beg for your wife and her mother's attention. It puts you in control. When she sees you owning your control back, she may consider coming back. At this time, don't fall back into your past behaviour of acting nice and sissy. Make rules and be sure that she follows it.

If she refuses to come back after a while and you have learnt a lot from other women (and bedding them, of course). Divorce her trashy ass, get you a new woman but maintain relationship with your son.

True!

Starlight10:
and i didnt even say he should get a job then get back with her because that is in the hands of God. I still maintain he should stop the quarelling and be more loving but somehow that seems absurd to you. Beats me

Its quite preposterous how you intend to turn your entire incoherent statements into something else!
....You said she left because he was being insulting and at the same time you are saying the reason she left was because she thinks he has a 'dead vision' after he lost his job!
Please get your self and your statements organised....your statements are simply garbled!

Starlight10:
why dont you start insulting your partner everyday lets see. The fact that the insults were mutual doesnt mean she cannot break down. Pls stop this. It was too much for her to take hence her leaving. She is not the one begging is she? My point is if he wants her he should stop the bickering and be loving if not then let her be. Period. This thing is not a do or die affair. Try and be jobless first and then nag your partner to death on top of that then come and argue with me.

Your reasoning is at best,startling but unsurprising!

There will always be disagreements in a relationship or marriage and unguided statements from both partners are inevitable!
Everyone understands the power of unguided and reckless utterances and its effects on people....
However,its still not enough to park your things and start heading home after every quarrel or misunderstanding esp in a marriage!

What i thought you would have rightly said is for both partners to start engaging in an effective communication and be a bit understanding considering the new circumstances that they are faced with rather than inclining on the side of the woman as it best fit you!
I wont stop because you are fruitlessly trying to be bias in your statements!

No one said it was a do or die affair,since she is comfortable where she is,the she should not start thinking of coming back as sonn as the hubby finds his feet or gets a job!

So dear,i wont go broke but if paraventure that happens,i will definitely know how to deal with such issues!
....and for your info,i dont need to be insulting or nagging to get my message across!

babeosisi:
Chao
I feel for you.Ndo.She is very immature.
There was a time my husband had no paying job for about 2 years and worked as a volunteer.I was the only earner. my parents came to stay with us for 4 months and never knew of this.
Your wife is foolish but please be patient with her

You are indeed an emotionally matured woman!
Please keep it up!

Starlight10:
did you read where he said she left when he lost his job? No. She left because of the constant bickering. Not all humans are wired to stand that. If she wasnt a good wife to him trust me he wont be bothering to get her back after such a long time. I dont know the kind of relationships you have been in, trust me not all issues boil down to money or golddigging. So many women have filed for divorce from wealthy men as well. So calm down. I advised him to either seek for divorce or try to woe her back by showing the romantic side of him as it is obvious he still loves her. Peace

Like i said initially from the same post by the op,the insults were mutual but that was not enough reason to leave her matrimonial home for 10 months!

why not stick to your line of thought rather than being prevaricating!
You said she left him because she discovered he has a 'dead vision'....why say its because of his constant bickering?

If she left because she is just realising he has a 'dead vision' because he lost his job,will she swallow her very words if the hubby finally gets a job?

This just proves you didn't really study the main content of the initial post before reacting....a typical example of one who wants to take sides esp based on gender!

My relationship is with a lady who is emotionally matured!
Who doesn't run when there is a storm but would prefer to rather weather the storm believing it can only get better!

Finally,there is no point wooing a woman who stubbornly prefers to stay at her comfort zone rather than working things out with her hubby....

Starlight10:
Mr Perusal lol. How much are we talking about here? 80k a month. Lool. He wasnt rich my dear. She left him because she felt she was living with a man with a dead vision and all he did was talk her down. No woman wants that. Please be logical in your thinking and dont just jump to conclusion about anything concerning women. There are bad ones just like we also have bad Men. Peace

unless you don't understand the meaning the word 'peruse'!

Please enlighten me better about women who leave their matrimonial homes when their hubbies lose their jobs....

Was he not providing for the family with that 80k?

Was he not carrying out his responsibilities as a husband and father?

How many men at his age can boast of a house of their own esp in naija?

So the proverbial scales fell down from her eyes the moment her hubby lost his job....she then decided to walk away from her marriage because according to her skewed mentality,he has a 'dead vision' because he lost his job?

Its obvious you didn't peruse his initial post because you would see where she also insulted him too...so we can conclude that the insults were mutual!

Starlight10:
is that what you tell yourself to make you feel better Lol. His sexual escapades is not the issue here. Its his transition from employed to joblessness and how he is presenting himself at home that is the issue. He should stop trying to force her back. But try to be romantic and woe her back. But you wont understand love and romance. Mr cassanova lol. Just joking abeg

I believe you didn't peruse his initial post!
Why seek to bring her back when the only 'romantic' language she comprehends is MONEY?

Hedonini:
This kind of thing keeps happening to 'good' guys who don't drink and womanise. It's not a coincidence. There is a sociological explanation for this. There is a pattern to it, and the facts speak for themselves.

True!

AreaFada2:
Nor mind that Coutinho guy. They should sell him for 1 million Naira to Eyimba.

He was nearing the very top of football elite when he left EPL best club of all time & European football royalty club (YNWA) to join Barca as a bench-warmer.

If I was at PSG, I'd happily take Dembele & Rakitic anytime. Although honestly Coutinho still has about 6 years of good football left while Rakitic is already over 30.

As soon as he left Liverpool, Champion's league glory came. Same happened to Michael Owen (he left for Real Madrid) in 2005.

@ 1 million to enyimba
you wicked ohh

Chai coutinho
How art the mighty fallen?
You left a glorious club that pampered and treated you like a god......See how barca is treating coutinho as a nonentity and surplus to requirement!
Just imagine a 132millon pounds player being used as an exchange to bring back the over fed super-brat Neymar!

Starlight10:
The so called scolars that are educated went to study in societies that were once primitive and worshiped deities. They were backwards before Christianity came and they stopped alot of babaric practices and moved forward in Science and education. Once they got the education and enlightenment they needed they abandoned religion because they now have it all. Africa is yet to move past the first stage of abandoning primitive and fetish practises. Stop blaming the bible and Christianity for the problems in Africa. The moment Africa abandons ATR and embraces education irrespective of Christianity or not Africa will develop.

Exactly

GoTV:
Even though I'm a born again Christian, i think i agree with this man. The Bible should be banned from the surface of the earth. It has outlived it's usefulness. I admire countries like Saudi Arabia that won't tolerate a copy of the evil Bible in it shores

Did you really read what you erroneously wrote?
What a contradiction!
You are apparently mocking what you claim to believe in!

Despite being rich and having no financial troubles of any kind, when you are done achieving your personal dreams but have lost your essence in life, you become unhappy, depressed, lonely, and needy.

The gold, the fancy cars, the clothes, the big house, the fame, the fat bank account can never replace your essence in life. When you achieve your dreams but lose your essence you’ve missed your purpose. And a life without purpose is an opportunity misused.

I submit people don’t commit suicide because they are in trouble, or frustrated, or depressed, people mostly take their own lives when they see no reason to remain alive. Their personal dreams, desires, ambition, needs ego and pride would blind them towards the needs of the world, the needs of other people, what they have to offer and why they need to give.

Dear friend, you want to really be happy and satisfied all life long, recognize your essence, identify a problem or gap in this world with humanity you’re passionate about and begin to do something about it. The whole creation, eagerly awaits your manifestation, that great answers to life’s challenges you carry within, it’s time to birth it out and be glad. In this life you’re born pregnant with solutions and answers to the needs of humanity, don’t miscarry your purpose in life. Bring it forth.

Ladies and gentlemen, I invite you to join us this Saturday at the frontiers business academy as we discuss the secret and insights to a profitable distribution strategy. The way you sell your products, the channel through which you sell and the place where you sell can drive up your revenue and profit significantly or bring you unnecessary losses.


FRANKLY SPEAKING BY MUYIWA AFOLABI

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s good to have dreams and accomplish them but believe me, your life is more in value than your dreams. Dreams are there to make your life fun, adventurous and exciting but, dear friend, that; is not the reason for your existence.

You see, a life that is entirely about personal dreams is self-serving in a way and a self-serving mentality leads to frustration and emptiness all the way. Humans are not designed to just accumulate, we are ultimately designed to disseminate.

The earth is designed to be managed and maintained by mankind. Every human including you, are created with something within, an ability, a capacity to contribute to the improvement, enhancement, and progress of the earth and the world’s system.


Your choice to identify a problem, a need, a gap and a situation that needs attention and your acts in meeting that need is what brings you fulfilment and satisfaction, not your personal achievements, accomplishment or acquisitions.

Dear friend, please here me today, your joy, satisfaction and fulfilment can only come when you genuinely and sincerely solve problems for others in this world. When you bring love, joy, comfort, succour, relief, happiness and solution to other humans, you will consequently enjoy plenty of it yourself.

Dear friend, this is your essence, it is superior to your dreams.

Check through history, many people with great dreams but lacking in essence, they never found fulfilment and despite their fame and wealth and popularity, most became depressed, lonely and sad, hence took to drugs, alcohol, debauchery, indecency, wild behaviors and many became suicidal. Some even took their own lives.

We all are chasing something we all are after something and our lives are automatically patterned presently after that which has become important to us and most precious to us.

But have you realized life is greater and more grandeur than your dreams? The purpose and essence of life is far more than just your dreams. Yes, it’s natural and human to dream, but that is not the real purpose why you live.

That is why we naturally feel this sense of emptiness and nothingness after accomplishing any goal pursued vigorously. For those who have in time past pursued a goal of perhaps a dream job, a dream house, buying a dream car, or entering that dream marriage, you’ll realize once you achieve the dream, after a short while, the satisfaction and gratification evaporates, it ceases to be a source of perpetual joy and accomplishment, the excitement fades, the achievement becomes bland and as usual and it becomes a normal, very normal part of your everyday living. It fails to bring the satisfaction you thought it would, and the void you think it would fill is still there within your soul.

And over time, that perhaps 40 million naira car becomes just another car, that 250 million naira home becomes just your home, the 250k shoe becomes just another shoe, the 500k phone becomes just another phone, and even though you’re paid millions as salary every month, there are days you don’t want to go to the office and you feel like quitting. That dream job has become just another employment.

All you’ve dreamt about, pursued, sacrificed for and accomplished ultimately can’t make you happy and provides no perpetual fulfilment, you still feel empty, void and dissatisfied with life after everything you’ve achieved.

However, many of us based on the commitment to our dreams and the determination to succeed become entirely consumed by the dream and make our dreams our essence and purpose in life. We lose ourselves and lose our essence in the desperation to fulfil the dreams.

We wake up every day with our dreams on our minds and our minds on our dreams. And we gradually begin to conclude living is all about fulfilling our set goals and dreams in life.

Ladies and gentlemen, are you passionately chasing your dreams today? Are you determined to accomplish that dream you carry so dearly in your heart? You want the plum job desperately, you want the promotion desperately, you want to become the CEO desperately, you want the promotion, the elevation, the appointment the confirmation- you want to be boss as quickly as possible.

Or you want the business to grow and become great in good time. You’re investing more time, energy, money, sweat, and everything necessary into that business so as for it to grow and become mega as quickly as possible.

Oh, you want that position, you want to win the election, you want to become a senator, a governor, a president you desperately want the position, you’re throwing everything at it – hoping nothing will stop you this time.

Or, you just want that decent life, that life free from borrowing, you want enough money to pay your bills, raise your kids with, send them to great schools, produce employable graduates, see to it, they settle down in happy marriages, retire quietly and enjoy the latter years of your life in peace.

It’s only natural for every normal person to have dreams in life. We all have dreams, some great, others average and some others regular everyday dreams. Some want to be very great in life, some want to lead nations, or build business empires, create enormous wealth and leave a lasting universal legacy. Some want to rise to the very top of their careers as MDs or CEOs of big corporations or establishments, and some just want to live a good life, pay bills conveniently, train kids in good schools, retire and live a quiet and peaceful life. All these are dreams and I believe most of us have dreams.

These dreams, be it big ones or regular ones serve to inspire and motivate us into everyday work and action. We get employed or start a business as a means through which we can fulfil our dreams. We toil and endure hardship daily in order to secure the means through which we can pay the price for the dreams.

In the process of pursuing and building our dreams, however, we face numerous and frequent challenges, we face resistance both natural and supernatural, we face unnecessary competition and rivalry, we experience disappointments, betrayals and setbacks, we are sometimes hard pressed on every side, we are pressured, discouraged and even tempted to give up, but the power of these dreams, the fear of lack and the fear of failure keep us going and the eventual joy of success keeps us in the fight and battle all the way to the end.

smh

Its very hard to be sensitive to the plight of the people if one is politically affiliated!

ajbf:
He doesn't need to discuss the annulment to tithe.
It is there in the Bible for all of us to read and understand, in fact, it is the last place in the Bible where issue of tithe was mentioned (Hebrew 7: 1- 19). God Almighty loves cheerful givers (2 Corinthians 9:6-7).

Thats exactly what am trying to say.... he used these same scriptures to prove the annulling of tithes!
....am only saying he is trying to make tithes a prerequisite for spirituality having earlier said it was not!

powerhouse3:
they can never skip at the bold.... That's what they are all about..... TITHE, TITHE and TITHE

Surprisingly, there was a video where pastor Sam adeyemi discussed about the annulling of tithes!
So am even astonished to find him mention it as a prerequisite!

Ignorance is indeed a disease!
why would anyone ignorantly think that a woman can not also be a rapist or sexually assault anyone?
its quite obvious people are not making use of this dstv channel called ID(Investigative discovery)
A rapist can either be a man or a WOMAN!
The earlier most ladies esp some pained feminists start getting used to this new reality,the better for our children!

pyro62:
That's why I like Serena Williams.. She will beat you like a child, and you won't win any single round.. If Rodger get mind, make e challenge her

If he beats her black and blue,you will still say its because rogers is a man and serena is a woman!

Being an excellent staff at work does not translate into being 'good enough' to have a relationship with!

Like someone said here,try to proceed with caution and first date her before contemplating marriage!

Remember,being your staff is completely different from being your partner or lover!

Never let anything you want, be absolutely about yourself, your wants and your needs, let it be about a more encompassing reason.

Get money for a good reason; gun for a position in your career for a reason bigger than you. Make sacrifices, give up selfish benefits and delay your gratification for the overall purpose and good of your enterprise. I assure you it’s never a loss; you will definitely gain it back.

Everything in life is paid for, if you don’t give up something for anything, it will not bring you any satisfaction or fulfilment. What you take, you can lose but what you earn remains yours.

Don’t join the bandwagon of self centred people – those that crave for instant benefits and instant gratification; take a good look around for people like that, they always lose out at the end; lonely, rejected and irrelevant But people that spend themselves and sacrifice for a great purpose and for others always reap good reward at the end of the day, in cash, in friendships, relationships, in relevance, respect and heroism. Their names and deeds are never forgotten.

You may not be required to sacrifice as much as Nelson Mandela had to, Just your little bit in your own little, in your own little corner, catch the spirit, enjoy your day.


culled from
Frankly speaking with muyiwa Afolabi