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Join the army? Zap. that. Go to war? Zap. no. Go to Iraq? Hell no

You don't have any problem. Just ignore her for a while and get a maid. Start talking about a second wife even though you don't plan to. So basically give her room. Cook your own meal or eat outside and sleep on your own room. Sooner than later, she will change.

I started a thread titled "Traditional Marriage Is Bullshit." Check it out below
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-211594.0.html

When I do get married if I get married. I am paying zero Kobo for her bride price. If her parents and village elders refuse then they can take their daughter back and shove it.

To:Landwin:

Zap. you. I don't blame you. Kitty-Cat. a.s.s. retarded bastard.

Interesting so far, will respond when I get a chance.

To:Fs:

I understand what point you are trying to make but to me it doesn't make much sense. First no body is holding me back and yes America will remain a forever racist nation as long as Blacks and Whites live together and yes white privilege and modern racism exist if you don't know just go into a black neighborhood and ask questions and look around. You don't even need to ask you just need to look around and go into a white neighborhood and do the same. The white privilege is clear. So you think you know much abi? How many black, white, racism, culture classes have you taken? I am sure not much.

Racism is so strong in most states in the U.S. excluding some states in the east coast where Black people have a lot of establishments. Even in these states where you have a lot of black owned businesses, a lot of doctors, lawyers, etc. in places like DC, NY, Chicago,Etc. there is still racism. But not compared to places like Washington, Oregon, Alabama, etc. Here in Oregon not only I feel it I can taste it all the times. So Fs what state do you live in to make you think there is no racism that Blacks are holding them selves back. Let me give you an example why credit check is a modern racism, credit check may apply to some Whites but it was created to promote White privilege. Ok, two teenagers got out of high school, one black and the other white. The black one got a job at Mcdonald because he is tired of looking for a better job. The white got a job as a receptionist. As they complete their studies in college. The black doesn't have a good job on his resume. The White have a good job on his resume. So who gets hired first. So guessed right. So the black dude still works at macdonalds with a college degree hopefully got a Black girlfriend. You know how demanding they are. So he is not making enough so he starts taking out all kinds of credit cards and loans and buying things on credit all of a sudden he can't pay them all on time so his credit is Zap.e.d. While on the other hand the White dude is enjoying white privilege. Get a credit card and don't even use it that much. Got a girlfriend hopefully she is White who is enjoying the same white privilege. This grows from one person to millions of people in the U.S. Why do you think there are so many Blacks in jail in the U.S. is it because they are rich and don't know what  to do with their money? Hell no. Is because the modern racism have hold them back so the only option to not be hold back is to go out to sell drugs, hustle, sell guns, smoke weed, the women get into prostitution, etc. So there you got it. I just want to refreshing you mind because I don't know if you have been white brain washed like some Blacks or if you are married to a White man for your papers.

For example I have only gone to one interview and met one Black hiring manager in the so many years I have been in Oregon. He is even engaged or married to a White lady, so he thinks from her rappa some times if you know what I mean. Is not there are not a lot of qualified Blacks who can work in the HR [human resource], is just racism is playing a part.

I have seen Blacks who say oh there is not much racism, Blacks are dragging them selves back by complaining. This people are hired into there position because they are just that one number the Whites need to diverse their workforce so they think that Whites are doing them a favor. They don't know they are doing themselves a favor. In case something like a lawsuit happen against them, they will say oh we don't discriminate, we have Ms. Fs, Black lady working here, we like Black people, bullshit.

So wash your eyes, before you say there is no racism, are you that one number in your work place that's representing all the Blacks in your work place?


And for others who say inter racial marriages are just like any other, you are dumb ignorant . Do you know what inter racial couples face each time they go out to a Black or White establishments? Do you know the kind of verdalism and racial threats they get in their neighborhood? Do you know the kind of comments and looks they get in public? Do you know how confused their kids feel about what race they belong to? So don't tell me that bullshit that all marriages are the same. I didn't know all this until recently so hear if you have ears. An Afrcan guy marrying an African woman, they will have peace other than maybe the lady will be bitching at times. That's prety much it. Inter racial marriage can even get you killed. It did back in the day and it still happens in 2009. If you don't know do your research before I bitch slap you back to Africa to learn your roots.

Ofcurse if you think this thread or title is stupid or that you are so ignorant that you don't have anything to post other than post Poo. around go find a thread that meets your dumb level of comprehension.


Peace.

To:Rominiyi:

If your parents hide the letters from you when he was sending them then is not your fault. I know most parents can be selfish at times especially if there is money involved. They care about their own happiness regardless of their daughters or sons happiness. Your parents needs to be blamed for %50 of all the drama you went through in your marriage. I am guessing that marriage may not have hold if you received those letters on time.

But any ways, I think the psychologist is right. Is not a good idea to make a decision when you are in a pressure even though you have made up your mind. Any one who informs you to stay in this marriage doesn't want your happiness. Just take time off and you are welcome to nairaland any time 24/7. Don't mind some nairaland members here, some just like posting Poo. in the name of posting.


Good luck.

Hey poster you are dealing with Nigerians remember? You can't just come here and cook up some bullshit story. You just need to admit you are the one and you will get all the advice you need. As I was reading your story I knew you were the person in question. YOu just need to admit it, is not a big deal. Come out straight man.

Good point Gabrywyl

I only read the first page before posting my first message. Now I have read the whole thing. I don't think is a hard decision to make. It might be for many. I think the problem started with the poster. She ignored the guy. The question would be why did she cut the first guy off?

But for the current marriage. I think she should have ended it when the guy got another woman pregnant. I think no man in a marriage that really love his wife will think of sleeping around.

I don't believe in divorce, and I also don't believe in women suffering in marriage for the sake of claiming they are married. I think your best option will be end this failed marriage and don't think about getting married for atleast 1yr. This new guy coming in, tell him you just want to be friends for now. He may not be the right person because he may have changed and know why his marriage failed and confirm that with his parents or his friends. Read through all the letters he sent to your parents. Get to know some of his friends. Ask questions so that you don't come back to nairaland for another wahala. After one year of being friend with this ex. you will be in a better mind to decide if marriage with him is the best option. I am kind of curious why you didn't bother to look for this ex before you got married. So what happened?

Remember, chill for 1yr. without marriage and don't live together with this ex. otherwise, you are going to have another kid and Bleep things up again.

Peace.

If God says yes no one can say no. Maybe it was meant to be. You two loved each other but lost contact without you bothering to re connect with him and you got married. He got married. His marriage didn't work. Yours have gone through several resusitation which prety much to me looks like is not working but you are trying to make it work according to you for your kid.

For those single guys and ladies out there, before you get married make sure that there is no one that you love in your life besides the person you are getting married to. If there is some one try to get in touch with the person, maybe you may not feel anything anymore but is essential that you do so. Rushing things will cost you a lot of pains and suffering.

To:Prittigrrr:

Thanks for the correction. I just did a quick research on that. When I watched the interview about Knowles family, she looked like a White person. Maybe I don't know what's white and what's not these days. Bleaching cream and plastic surgery are all playing roles. Also if you know inter racial marriages that have worked compare it to the ones that have not worked. Because one may know 5 that have not worked and 1 that have worked. So put all the numbers out that way it makes more sense.

Maybe he is waiting for you to propose and you are waiting for him to propose.

A man suppose to ask a woman her hand in marriage and wait for an answer. Some women will answer immediately. Some will take time to answer that like a week, a month, a year, etc. I think my Mom said it took her a year to answer that. I think that a woman should not go ahead with any marriage preparations without the guy asking that question. If he is not man enough to answer that then he is not man enough to get married. He may know what he is doing, tomorrow now he will say he didn't ask you to marry him.

To:Gabrywyl:

It looks like you have a diverse family relations. It looks like some of the marriages you mentioned was within the same race. It sounds like some of your relations married some people within Asia. The British and the Jaimaican marriage were the parents opposed to it and why do you think that this interracial marriages worked or lasted for all the marriages you stated?

Na wahala be that

I am not trying to start up a racial war here. This thread is not about wether you like inter racial relationships or marriages. This is about does inter racial marriages work, does it last. How do you figure that out? Well, it goes like this how many inter marriages do you know that have lasted up to the point where the kids are in college? That's what I would call work or lasted or even inter racial couples that have stayed together still after their kids have graduated from college?

For me here in Portland Oregon, I know of inter racial marriages but don't know one that have lasted. When I was back home, I knew one that lasted. It was a Black woman who married a White man. They had beautiful daughters and the lived happily and no problem. At the time I thought what is this White man doing in Africa. But that was his choice. So I guess one couple I know.

All the inter racial marriages I know here in Portland or I have been told about. The Black man falls in love, doesn't care what any one says. Before you know what's going on the White lady is pregnant. Before the parents ask is it a boy or a girl. The White lady is dragging him down the alter. Everything is still rosy and sweet. The Black guy rarely keep constant communication with his  people back home. He have no house back home in Africa.

Before you know it, he got a huge house with the help of the White lady. What some people refer to as White privilege. As for me right now if I go to get a loan for business or house, I am %100 sure I will not get it. Some say oh you have a bad credit, Zap. that. The credit report shit is part of modern racism. I can also quarantee you that if I hook up with a White lady and go for a loan I am likely to get it. Back to the issue, so the Black guy gets a house with The White lady. The fire is still burning everything is still rosy.

They have kids. Based on the experiences I have seen and the ones I have been told. Once the kids are in college. The White lady will do something or claim domestic violence. Guess what? In most cases the house is in the White ladies name. So what happens the White lady divorces the Black guy and kick him out of the house. I have probably heard over 6 stories like this just in Portland. I also know some inter racial marriages that are just starting out and it seems like I can even see the end of it turning to a failure, not wishing anything bad for any one but the pattern of White women divorcing Black men after their kids have gone to college is not something to ignore.

So, before you get off topic, does inter racial marriage work? How many people do you know that have inter racial marriages that have lasted?

Maybe a poll should be put on this to see what the percentages are. Because if over %90 of inter racial marriages fail, why waste your time, money, energy, and endure all kinds of bullshit just in the claim of being inlove?

Peace.

Also remember that being skinny doesn't mean the lady is healthy. Skinny means she is starving her self and not getting essential minerals the body needs which means she is likely to get sick easily. Being fat not fat fat[too fat is not healthy] but a little fat doesn't always mean the lady is unhealthy. For ladies who don't know, studies have found that fat women are less like to have breast cancer compared to skinny women. If you think is a lie ask a good doctor.

Fat[not too fat] to me means the lady is free and not too concerned about peer pressure, eats well and is healthy. Skinny is annoying. So the lady I mentioned above seing her was kind of annoying. So I don't think there is a man who wants to be with an annoying looking woman.

Some men prefer big women while some prefer skinny women. I used to like skinny women when I didn't know the kind of woman I want. Now I know, I prefer women that are not too big or too skinny, just healthy weight. There was this lady[prospective wife] I met and we were planning to be together. She wasn't that big, so I didn't see her for about a year or two. So when I saw her she have lost a lot of weight. My attraction went from %100 to %0. I just told her that I have lost interest in her. So the relationship ended. No talking or anything like that.

For ladies if a guy likes you and want to be with you, your weight big or skinny have something to do with it. Changing it might make him change his mind about you, is just that simple. But a good man after marriage will not think about divorce just because of weight but a good woman should not be concerned about her weight, she should be concerned about being healthy and taking good care of the family.

Hey poster. December 2009 is too far. Why not this month? Any ways Naija will be glad to have you gone. I can quarantee you the second you are gone, the second Naija will born a new bouncing baby boy who will be a leader and will work hard and will make it in Naija without bothering others. There are guns, knifes, cement, etc. Which way would you like it?

Based on the picture on your profile, some one can easily say you are a criminal or gang member or some shit like that. What group of responsible hard working adults hang out like that? But any ways, I think your problem is not money. You need to know God first before you bitch about getting money.

Peace.

Magz:

I like your comments, is the truth. A lot of people don't ask questions they just go ahead and do what others are doing. What's the difference between a man and a goat. A man thinks for himself and a goat let others think for him. Is just that simple.

I don't give a Zap. about valentines, don't even celebrate it. To me is just another day jokers make noise about love they know nothing about. As for me right now, there are very few legible ladies around here. Those that are legible either don't come out to socialize a lot or they are not attractive enough. Like they say Portland is a White city, most times it seems like the only option is White ladies. I know a lot of prety White ladies but the issue is I can't deal with their racist parents. Not all White parents are racist but based on my experience with White people, please I don't want any wahala with a racist inlaw. Take your daughter and let me have my peace, knowing that the Klans will not show up in the middle of the night at my place. By the way, my brother is marrying a White lady this year, I have nothing against her or her parents, but still I don't feel okay with her parents any ways.

I know this is a valentine issue not a race issue but I think U.S. will remain a racist state as long as Africans [Blacks] live with Whites.

Wonders shall never end. I guess is a good idea to ask a girl if she is a lesbian before going any further but anyways a Nigerian female lesbian? That's new for me. So can you post your picture? What do you look like? I have noticed that many Black lesbians are those hot ladies, the night club dancer type. But any ways at what age did you realize you are a lesbian?

1] You should be proud of who you are, based on your comments it seems like you have a very low self esteem
2] You are a lesbian and you are afraid to break the news, why? You think lesbianism is the wrong thing so why did you get involve in the first place?
3] She has to know any ways and the earlier she knows the better
I am guessing this will be any Nigerian mothers nightmare to know that her daughter is marrying another woman, that's what the village elders call aru. Buy anyways your best option is to be proud of who you are and make it known. The village might disown you but you need to be open.

My view of gay and lesbians is that according to the holly book that few people follow. By the way there are a lot of people that call them selves Christians and Muslims but in fact they are not. They are just sinners and hypocrites. Sinners is the new world religion that most people practice. If you call your self a Christian and you practice imorality then you are not a Christian. A Christian simply means one that follows the ways of the son of God. Is just that simple. I believe in God but I don't have a religion. I was a Christian for over 20yrs. and it started to not make sense any more. So I told my parents I am no longer a Christian, don't have a religion and don't celebrate any religious holidays. They got pissed about it and try to persuade me, I was like you can't turn orange into apple. I have made my choice. I am not a kid, I make choices for my self and open about it, like it or don't like it.

I am a better person today without a religion than when I was a Christian. I remember doing all kinds of bad things during the week when I was back home and then going to confession at the end of the week. One of the reasons I quit religion is because there are many basterds that call them selves Christians. They wear cross but they don't know the meaning.

Getting back to the lesbian thing. Psychology is part of my studies in college. Sigmund Freud the founder of psychoanalysis studies gay and lesbianism for a long time and many other psychologists did. Their conclusion was that gay and lesbianism is a mental disorder rather than a mental illness. Disorder is something learned and can be unlearned through psychoanalysis. While illness is something that can not be unlearned or fixed naturally like parkinson disease.

During the early civilizations gays and lesbians were considered crazy people. They would be locked in chains. Some were thought to be possesed by evil spirits and they will also be locked in chains at the church and people will come to pray to cast out the demon.

Do I approve gay and lesbians or not? Well according to the hollybook, it clearly states that is immorality and the wedges of sin is death. I don't approve it and I don't discriminate against them. I think is a personal choice nomatter how your hormones react. I also think is a mental disorder that can be unlearned if the person wishes.

Some may disagree that is not a mental disorder but if you have taking psychology you will know that there are a lot of mental disorders. I have taken maybe over 6 different psychology classes in college and I still may take more. For example if you use nairaland too much that it becomes a problem meaning you don't get to do other things that you are suppose to do, or you drink that you are having problems at work or with your spouse, or you are addicted to drugs, porn, masturbation,sleeping around that you don't seem to stop, all these things are mental disorders. Phobias are also mental disorders.

So is life, you make the choices don't blame any one for it including your hormone reactions and you also face the consequencies of your choices.

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Cnnnigeria and Van der jo I just sent you email. You can respond through email. I know wholesale price when I see it, so I expect to hear from you.

Thanks Van Der Jo and Cnnnigeria for responding. I will get back to you two via email the next day when I get a chance. Peace.

Any ideas? Especially in the U.S. or Europe. I am thinking of setting up a small jewelry biz. Any one into jewelry business and how is it going?

How much would a internet cafe cost? Just for the set up with the minimum computer or laptop? In lagos or jos or in any big city? Just curious.

There are two types of single women
1]They ones that have been used and abused to the point that no man wants her
2]Arrogant bitch, that thinks she is all that, before she know it she is reaching her late 30s

The instructions fixed it

Solution #1posted on Dec 18, 2008
SHotaru

Rank: Apprentice
Rating: 70%, 1 votes

Ok this is something that happens when a user signs in and out of their youtube account constantly. If you want to solve the problem youll have to go to "tools" at the top of your internet page, then click "options" then IF it has a "Privacy" button, click that then click "show cookies" look for youtube and remove those cookies. If you dont have a privacy button then you should be able to access the "Show cookies". just delete them

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Youtube have been acting up for two days now. With the kind of expertise they have, this is reduculous. If no one is having issues maybe they have banned me or something.