₦airaland Forum

He is 19 years old,

Hi 9ralanders,
I am married to someone from a different ethnic group from mine. His brother stays with us during his hollidays. this brother is very very destructive. But my husband does not seem to notice this. below is a short list of things he has destroyed since last year.

4 Televisions (My husband repaired 2 of them)
6 dvd players, including one that could hold up to 5 dvds at a time . these electronics were bought in the states and are of very good quality.
1 mop (broke in half)
1 dustpan (broke in half)
1 mop bucket ( broke it)
1 Side table (split it)
Many items of clothes, (Burned them)
1 iron
Knife file how do you do that? but he did

And yesterday He destroyed our water pipe system while weeding, so now we have no water flowing into the house?? WTF?!!!!
These are only a few of the things he has destroyed, the others are just too many and I dont want to go into that. I am always afraid anytime he comes over. I begin to hide different things and to lock a few doors. He enters our room and takes things because the door does not lock and my husband doesnt see why I think we should repair the lock.

I am panicking right now, because this "mr spencer" will still destroy things. I mean He spoils something every other day. I tried talking to him once about it, but he began to look angry at me. I dont want his family (my-inlaws)to think that I dont want him around because he doesnt have any other one to look after him well when he vacates. His sister doesnt like me and I know she just is waiting for me to fail and if I blow up on this matter, she will have ammunition to use against me, and I dont want this.

Please I am travelling for work and will be away for the next 3 weeks and I am afriad I will come back and my house will be a run down mess, smelling and just an eyesore. What do I do? I am thinking maybe I should not go but I can't cancel because everything is ready and set to go. What do I do I used to like this young man before when I first met him, But my like began to turn fast into distrust and now its actually a significant dislike. I just keep my tongue leashed because of peace.

Before I bought a filter, this guy would buy pure water and throw it on the ground in a gated house. He would wash his clothes and spread them on the gate or in front of the window of the front porch. I spoke to him in private about it before, but he didnt listen until I mentioned it in front of his brother in his presence.

This guy can eat like a cow. This guy can eat a 5 ib bag of rice in 2 days and I am not exagerating. He finishes a tuber and a half of yam. When I first came from abroad, I used to make french fries, not knowing that this guy could eat 3 average men's portions. I had to stop because after I left the kitchen this guy would go and cook himself a lot of rice. and accompnay it with 6 to 8 eggs depending on how many we had left. His brother one day saw the portions I was giving him and screamed and told me not to give him that much again, not knowing that he eats even more than that. The boy refuses to eat in his brother's (My husband"s presence) because he knows that his eating habits are horrible and his brother would talk. so he eats in the kitchen very fast before his brother comes around. and he even sometimes waits for his brother to leave the house before he would eat.


What do I do. I love my husband and so dont want a confrontation. But I am frustrated.

alubosa and garri

Many women in Nigeria may want to become housewives, but will find themselves career women. but please whats wrong with being a college educated housewife? dont you realize that that makes for smarter kids? I mean its like having a college educated nanny who is even better than a nanny. I mean thats better than having a man obsessed ilitereate housegirl take care of the kids and teaching them that poverty is better than wealth like I remember our housemaids used to teach men when I was a kid which i imbibed and it hindered me because I struggled against it for so long wanting to be rich but thinking it was ungodly. thank god for all these prosperity churches, I dont know how I would have defeated that mindset. please. a college educated woman to raise smart kids, thats what the future of nigeria needs. smart women raising smart kids. taking care of children and a home is hard thats why we employ people to do it for us.
Any college educated woman who wants to be a housewife and whose husband accepts should go for it. I support her. and she is making the right decision. not all of us can work outside the home. some of us need to raise the nigerian einsteins of the future.
College educated housewife you are a gem. You are blessed and I give you praise.

indie22:
I once took a flight on afriqair from lagos to london gatwick via tripoli, i must say that was the worst flight of my life. We boarded what looked to me like a plane from outside and a molue inside to Tripoli, the plane was shaking all through the flight, i wasnt sure if it was turbulence or nuts and bolts in the plane coming undone, it was dead cold in the aircraft and we had no blankets, no food, no inflight entertainement, i had to ask one of the cabin crew if i could borrow his jacket when blankets were not available as it was kind of chilly, and guess what? One of the cabin crew was smoking on board the aircraft, in the toilet and no one paid him any attention.

We got to tripoli and i felt like i was in a war zone, people carrying guns freely, immigration officers yelling at people, gadafi's huge potraits all over the place, we were there for over 3 hours, in my mind i cursed the travel agent who booked me on the flight (not like i blamed her anyway as i was being an 'ijebu' and was looking for the cheapest flight possible.

People were being harrassed unecessary, it was just hellish. When we eventually got on a flight to london, we were finally fed some weird looking food that looked like fried eggs and dried bread, and we had coke poured into cups to drink (3 people per bottle).

They'll definitely get my award for the crappiest airline ever!

That was a nasty flight and qualifies absolutely as stand up comedy horror joke, joke of horror

my worst flying experience so far was when flying from riyadh to jeddah. the plane we got in was tiny, and i mean it took only about 10 people at the most. or less actually. we had ascended oh. all of a sudden everything was quiet as if the engine had died. then comes sharp freefall that lasts a second but seemed like forever to me. my heart is in my mouth, my eyes are watery. then the plane begins to ascend again and the engine comes on again and then the engine dies and it seems like we are souring in the air on a cloud (because everything is absolutely quiet) and not a mechanical transport. freefall. then plane begins to sputter like a car about to die. as if the pilot turned on the ignition and the engine roared and died and sputters forward and stops,freefall and then ascend and then engine comes on and then off then sputter.

Pilot comes on announcer eventually to announce that we have lost an engine and must turn back.
the headache that developed after that announcement lasted from that day till 3 years ago. lasting about 11 years. i hate small planes.

You might need to recall your science to understand this but here it goes


If you're reading this, congratulations on having achieved the primary goal with which we begin each day: You have avoided death.

We're big on this idea of not dying. We love stories of immortal vampires and invincible superheroes, each of us wishing on some level that was us. If we didn't have to worry about death, we could finally get Poo done.

But could we? If you take a moment to think about it, you realize immortality is grossly overrated.

(1) EVOLUTION WILL TURN YOU INTO A F.R.E.A.K[color=#990000][/color]


Contrary to what many people believe, humans are still evolving. That's not a big deal if you have the kind of immortality that only lasts 1,000 or 2,000 years, but of course real immortality means you'll still be walking the earth, in your current body, a million years from now.

Science has no idea where future mutations might lead us by that point, so it's anyone's guess what your neighbors will look like in the future. You, on the other hand, will be walking around as the future equivalent of thIS

Their bodies and brains are going to continue to adapt to an ever-changing world. Yours won't. Will your digestive system be able to handle the same food they eat? Will your brain enjoy the same entertainment? Will your non-evolved tongue even be able to speak the languages they speak in the year one million AD? Would an unfrozen caveman be able to do all of that now?

One thing we do know: You won't be getting any lovin'. It turns out that mother nature hates inter-species breeding, and is such a big cockblocker that science had to come up with a name to describe it: Reproductive Isolation. It's the reason there aren't packs of ligers or centaurs roaming around.

Of course, that's assuming that you're even safe walking around among the members of this new freak species. Will they treat you like a novelty and cast you in hilarious insurance commercials, like the Geico cavemen? Or will they do to you what current humans would do if they finally caught Sasquatch roaming around through the forests (that is, stick you in a zoo)? Though whatever the freak-species decides to do with you won't be as bad as no sex for the rest of your life. Who knows, maybe someone will decide to make you the donkey in their next show.

(2) NoBODY CAN EVER FIND OUT


Let's say some kid goes rummaging around in your basement, finds that witch's old portrait of you and discovers that you are immortal. Word spreads and suddenly you're famous the world over. Sure, a lot of people might not buy the story at first, but folks have become famous for much less.
Sounds pretty sweet, right? Probably get a reality show out of it. But that's just scratching the surface. You're not just going to be famous; you're going to be a god. You have eternal life, which means you must know the secret to eternal life, which means you will immediately be the center of the world's newest and most popular religion. You'll be like a guy revealing himself to be Jesus, and proving it. Why would anyone continue to worship an invisible deity when they have a god walking around amongst them? Each morning your yard will be packed full of several thousand terminally ill people, or parents with their sick kids, asking you to grant them the same immortality you have.


That, of course, is assuming a government or crime syndicate doesn't get to you first. Literally every powerful and wealthy person on Earth will decide that in your veins pumps the one thing they can't buy: freedom from death. They're not going to stop until they've spent every penny they can spare to see if they can turn your blood and organs into unending life for themselves. Think about the wars that are being fought over oil. The secret to eternal life would be worth far, far more.
So we're not talking about the occasional blood test and urine sample here and there while they let you stay in some five-star facility. It's more like you getting kidnapped and kept in some damp underground shack away from any civilization while they go balls out on your organs E.T.-style.


That, of course, is assuming a government or crime syndicate doesn't get to you first. Literally every powerful and wealthy person on Earth will decide that in your veins pumps the one thing they can't buy: freedom from death. They're not going to stop until they've spent every penny they can spare to see if they can turn your blood and organs into unending life for themselves. Think about the wars that are being fought over oil. The secret to eternal life would be worth far, far more.
So we're not talking about the occasional blood test and urine sample here and there while they let you stay in some five-star facility. It's more like you getting kidnapped and kept in some damp underground shack away from any civilization while they go balls out on your organs E.T.-style.



Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_18708_5-reasons-immortality-would-be-worse-than-death_p1.html#ixzz0xUIpDVQE















Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_18708_5-reasons-immortality-would-be-worse-than-death_p1.html#ixzz0xUFSEbGj

in all honesty, even americans consider air france customer service bad and mention it anytime the topic of air travel comes up. I hear they are really horrible and anytime a movie is done and bad customer service is featured, its usually a french customer rep giving the bad service. So its not really racism. The french are considered egostical and rude even by americans.

i am here to add my two kobo. someone asked WHY DID GOD DESTROY SODOM AND GOMORRAH? Well it was because of homosexuality supposedly, but the next question I have is WHY DID GOD DESTROY THE EARTH: it was because of lies, stealing, fornication, gossiping, adultery, idolatory. Yeah, God destroyed the earth once as the bible says, but he also destroyed the world. DISOBEDIENCE got Adam and eve kicked out of eden and the ret of the world screwed, so I daresay homosexuality is the worst sin in the bible or world. and since everyone one has sinned and continues to sin, pick the various logs in your own eyes says jesus befor you begin to condemn others for the sin you arent committing which makes you feel holier even though you are a rapist.

Of course why not. for the most part they are very well made. and look better than the ones made here, better quality too. there are clothes made abroad that are fo bad quality too. yes yes yes. the more it is made in nigeria including the cotton milling, the more i shall buy it.

THE.AMAKA:
LMAO!!!
but thats different.
race is race. black is black, white is white, asian is asian.
so how can a black person look like they are from another black country when the black race is so diverse in every corner of the world? ehh?
oh please.

AMAKA, now you are begining to ask questions that reveal the complexity of the frontal lobe that you were born with, I hope you exhibit no lapses and default to your inner neantherthal.
Yes the black race is diverse and thats why you have Ethiopians looking the way they look. if I saw a Nigerian Yourba today with no known lineage to Ethiopia, but who looks like Haile Selassie, ( Haile selassie was once ethiopias emperor you can google it for further info), I will say that Nigerian looked Ethiopian. Have I said such person is from Ethiopia?, NO. as I told one other frontal lobe lacking sister of yours on here, to appear is not to be,
Kenyans despite being BLACK, also have a distinct look with more rounded heads. Ghananians are a bit darker than Igbo people generally, not all. and Japanese are on average taller than chinese. people from switzerland are taller, fairer and more nordic looking that their italian, but also european counterparts

I hope at this juncture you are getting what I mean. if not, I refuse to further attempt to nourish your brain with information that it does not have the average human ability to absorb. So you can continue in ignorance. I for one will not begrudge you such "BLISS"

Amaka,
You will catch a heart attack. A person can look like they are from somewhere else. it does not mean that they are from there. I can express what I see in her, does not make me an arse so watch your mouth/fingers. You are rude and very emotional and do not think well You rationalize like a cockroach, which is not very well.
you can look like you are from turkey it doesnt make you from turkey it just shows that the interconnectivity of human kind. so watch your thinking and quit acting like a spoiled irrational tart.

Crude Oil:
I hate being faithful.

this is why Nigeria has so many aids and std infected people. and it wont stop until esp men begin to tame themselves. you cant control yourselves and you are happy with it. shame. many of you will look like this one day

why are words like idiottttt and ra.pe. etc and even nak.ed. being sensored on this site? when did the word nak.ed, become lur.id,

michelin89:
Haba so you are educated and you can't even copy a name right? Read my username and write it correctly.

Sweet dear dumb girl, You recognized your name in whatever form I wrote it.
but,

I honored you when I rewrote your name Ms abnormality. but Michelle I "AM" more educated than you. and here is where I leave your ignorant, open- leg to get attention and respect self to marinade in self pity, Michelle Please, buy yourself a brain, a human brain to replace the rabbit or monkey one functioning in default now. I hope you find a man. I am not a man. but spreading your legs will get you one for a day. and none for life. I suggest starting with, you guessed it, buying yourself a brain, bimbos are a dime a dozen. Tiger woods will tell you that

Your cognitive abilities are severely  lacking. finally buy yourself a brain. cant afford it, go back to school, and when you  become as fore-brained as I am, I will give you more time of day, right now I have given you as  much attention as I would if I saw a naked man screaming in the streets telling the world to buy clothes. too much attention, but not deserving of the true amount of time Mania garners,

Yes Michelle My love, buy your self a brain and as I said before, your classmates are waiting for you in all their ring around the roses glory.

Michelle89, You a a grand idiot. You are the personification of the adjective slowpoke. I forgive you for pouring acid on what it is to be a human being, the ability to use ones frontal cortex in reasoning.
I think your pre-school classmates are waiting for you. so run along and join them.

You are the one who is ignorant and rude and imbecilic. I said someone looks READ IT AGAIN "looks" Like she comes from barbados. I didnt say she comes from barbados you stupid apple from an orange tree. Use your common sense and read, its a qualifier you moronic failure. she wont be winning miss nigeria if she were from barbados would she. do you think I am as stupid and foolish as your ignorant idiotic self to think she is actually from there? people say I look like I am igbo which I am not does not mean they said I am igbo "looks" "appear" "seem". websters is a dictionary please type it into the search engine called google you dingbat and get the meaning of "looks" you donkey's arse. and you need to look for 'looks' as an adjetive. and if you dont know what an adjective is as your clearly frontal cortex lacking monkey self "appears" not to know, then you really are lost and you should call the suicide help line whereever you are (hopefully its not nigeria in which case, call your religious leader or mother if you have no religion you godless maniac) and get institutionalized.

If you came on here to fight with me you dunce bring it on you stupid unripe dummy. take yourself back to english class you antagonistic infuriating slowpoke

michelin89:
No I just laughed when you made that comment, because it is so ignorant. I mean how can you tell someone is not Nigerian but from the Barbados? Do you even realize that Nigeria has more than 250 ethnic groups?

I guess you didn't when you came out with the Barbados thing.

michelin89:
And you said that because she looks like Rihanna?

I am sure all the people in barbados do not look like Rihanna. But You would recognize someone from the orient if you saw one based on general physical xteristics.
But I dont know about you. maybe you think all the people in barbados look alike in which case, yes she looks like rihanna for you.

And now to talk with my Naija brain

Guys stop rating this woman or any woman's desirability based on if you would sleep with her or not, we all know you guys would sleep with a pig if it wore lipstick and had a skirt on. I mean your brothers in sudan are sodomizing goats and the ones in america are ravishing horses and  little toy sized dogs. you have no standards in who you would sleep with. so this woman is like the best you can ever have, compared to what you are willing to settle for as bed mates.

Her face is okay. on a day to day basis she is pretty. but in miss world competition, she is not as beautiful as those women. true she will be rated on brains and beauty, but beauty first and before they even listen to her to put her in the top 10 they would have excluded her based on beauty alone. Her legs are very thin and not attractive looking. Her body is small she is not fat and her tummy is not fat just not toned. but I wish I had a tummy like that thought could care less about tone. I dont think she can win miss world unless something else happens that no one can understand. But I wonder, arent there more beautiful women in Nigeria? she looks like she is from barbados? there are so many beautiful women in nigeria.

Rape is not a big deal. supposing she was your sister or your mother or your daughter. and to the people saying she had consensual sex and it was aborted, since you dont know the statistics of rape you really should think before you think a woman is lying. but if you are above the age of 20 or even 15 and you are sexually touching a young girl of 9 years or below i hope you meet mercy, but I also hope you meet revenge and violent and crippling exposure. rape is a very big deal. its an invasion of a womans privacy, her body, her mind and its totally disrespectful of humanity. that you feel your desires are stronger and more necessary than another persons modesty, privacy or right to approval that you force yourself on anyone, if there are any rapsists reading this I hope you meet violent exposure and if you are in an enlightened land I hope you meet jail and the men of jail who rape other men. its my strong hope for you if you are a rapists. i hope you meet revenge.

i agree. the pros outweigh the cons in the long run. the cons simply being loss of more individual identity. but what has having so many identities profited naija ecxept make people more and more isolated from each other and ijebus fighting lagosians etc.
pros: unites more people, does away with so many ministers and governors not doing anything and just using up government money.
encourages healthy competition.
but i am afraid that the corrupt fathers and mothers in power will not allow this to happen because they will lose their source of livelihood. I think this is a bombastic and great and good idea. i hope it happens even if its the last thing that dying yaradua does. this is my prayer for nigeria. i hope it occurs and soon.

1 in every 30 guys has a 6 pack and so its like a fantasy. women usually settle for much less. moreover most six pack ab guys are vain and chase lots of women. so we settle for money and or brains.

Yes they encourage being naive and sort of helpless and desperate. and they provide an unreasonable expectation of a man that not many men can fullfill. they also make women believe they need to be either naive and pretty or average and slutty. I am credible because I thought a man needed to carry me on a pedestal when really we should both be supporting each other aboard a pedestal. and some of these novels encourage brutality in love making. , "

"He could not contain his passion and he grabbed her fiercely in a death grip and would not allow her to leave till she professed her undying devotion and love for him. he then planted a hot kiss against her naked lips and pressed them so hard it hurt and she yeled in pain and desire, etc

When I was in college, there was this guy I had a mind-'dumbing' crush on. He was beautiful. tall dark and oduduwa like. anyway, I am not used to trying to get guys to notice me, but i really wanted this guy too. well, I aint no ho and I aint gonna wear booty shorts or tight pants just for him. as someone said, the minute you become yourself, he will drop you( but it wouldnt have hurt if he droped me like a rash though, cos rashes cant be dropped easily, still not dropping at all would be best) and I have a tender heart. all i did was be myself and acted like I was the only girl on campus esp Nigerian who did not know his fullname and family village in nigeria. well I guess it frustrated him cos one day I went to lunch in the cafeteria and he came and sat in front of me and you could see he was shy cos he asked his friend to ask me to be his princess and his bride. then he began to talk to me nervously, but stupidity overcame me and I just stared at the door and ate quickly and left. I must have appeared like I didnt like him cos it took another 1 year before he had the nerve to ask his cousin if it was okay to talk to me. and before you knew it he asked me if I would like to have coffee with him. Like a dunce I just smiled and walked away and then his cousin who was good friends with me kept telling me about how he always asked about me. but by then I also had become wiser and found out that he was something of a cassanova and perhaps a walking STD, so I made up my mind he wont add me to the list. But even now 6 years later, that guy makes my heart flutter and so thats why I married someone who looks like him, tall dark and oduduwa like. just not a cassanova

Darling,

I am writting because I suffered the same thing as you did. I had what you can call a  home wrecking temper. I was on the way to wrecking my own marriage with my temper. interestingly I only unleashed it upon loved ones.
I prayed and fasted and realized that that was silly because even the bible itself says faith without works is useless. I nearly killed myself because the results of every episode of angry outbursts was depression.
It got to a point where I felt murderous. I knew I needed Help but was afraid to see a therapist. A friend of mine who had issues of her own and has successfully began to manage her life encouraged me. so here I am a Yoruba woman in therapy with a trained and licensed family  psychologists and not a pastor who opens the holy book and only asks what does the bible say.
Together we navigated where the anger came from and when I began to reach my tipping point. and recently went over physical breathing techniques that I have put into use and  is working well. She showed me how to use my frontal cortex and not think like an animal.  she revealed a lot to me and now I am gradually changing my life.

Dont let people who have not experienced your problem discourage you with hearsay. the white man who has accomplished more than we nigerians is getting it and it continuing to prosper,  so dont let people tell you its for white people alone. if its good for them it sure as hell is great for you. Has Prayer and fasting worked rather than made you angrier because now you are temperamental and hungry!!?

My life is better. its a gradual process, But I am determined to change. I am on my way, and if you have insurance to help you, I suggest you see a therapist.

sincerely with love

Your sister

simple answer is that you GUYS are too dishonest. not all of you but too many of you. because they do installment pay for regular guys in ghana. but you naija people MAYGOD HELP US ALL.

unfortunately in a country like nigeria where almost all people are suspect  of some heinous crime and you cant put a finger on what they have actually done right, there is a tendency to appoint people one trusts and such people tend to be people one knows personally.if I owned a bussiness in nigeria, I could never trust anyone who just came to me with a resume because of too many liars and ill transparency. I noticed the nepotism, but in nigeria such is inevitable.

@lawenjins

I hope you are kidding. I know you are kidding.

Dear men I need to let you know that you need to treat women well. or at least look at her not as useless. because your mothers were women. but if you dont respect your mother and so think you will not respect your wife remember there is fate. you will reap what you sow. you will grow old. or you will die one day by her hands or another womans hands. if you think  I am being superstitious then wait for it. trust me, it will wait for you in the future. and you will remember it. I am sounding a warning to all men, because a wave is coming to punish you all for your evil towards women. it will be devastating. so remember you read it here. or remember you read it at all.

and poster, you perceive wrong. women own stuff even in naija ( though not sure about those arabs in the north)

@POSTER

I beg to differ greatly. In this america all you have to do is stare at someone for a microsecond longer than a second and you will be hearing fucking bitch, mother fucking ass-hole. kiss my ass you nigga etc.

their abuse is not the way our abuse is, in that they do not CURSE themselves that "your life will be bad" etc. instead they call themselves sexually related insults or insults related to the anus and private parts.

I beg to differ you need to come to america and try stepping on someones foot by accident in new york city and see how they will call you a prostitute as if they have purchased said service from you hand (butt) before.

And its even worst when its interacial you wont hear the end of nigga.

but the advantage they have is that they have a functional avenue to address their grievances called court. if I feel as if my mothers/bosses/husbands/friend/daughter/son's insults have maimed me psychologically, I can take her/him/them to court and sue her/him/them for untold damages over emotional distress.

there is abuse everywhere those arabs like to call themselves sons of dogs a lot. and dont even talk about the russians they are always drunk so they call themselves insults in addition to fighting with themselves.

abuse is everywhere. its because you are in nigeria where there is no judicial system that you feel it more.

on the other hand if the judicial system in nigeria worked better people could sue each other more often and maybe the abuse will lessen not deaden. some say verbal abuse is free speech.