₦airaland Forum

Why should she leave and destroy her home or deny the shidren of both perents?
She can quietly find able discrete mens to polish the chakadam.
Peace and joy restored in the household,no more nagging or complents.
Diaris love in shearing the fakafiki.

Your babe was dry while you were pounding away and bruising her and yourself.

Must have been a painful and unpleasant experience for her and she endured it.

Go and learn how to Bleep my brother.

If she's dry ,stop and make her wet.

I'm sure she was crying in her mind.

Truth is you wil never be truly happy again,your relationship with your husband will change,you will never trust him again and you'll probably never have peace of mind.

You are free to be angry ,upset, sad whatever emotion you deem right and not pretend to be an angel or some sort of martyr so that people will say you are a wonderful wife. If you went out to have a child while your husband was impotent,you would be outta the door.

You have been betrayed in the worst way possible and you are still coming to terms with it.You owe no one any niceness or angelic behaviour.It is usually easy for Nigerians to call God and tell you to behave like a saint even when you are in pain forgetting that you are a human being before a wife.

The child is innocent,you don't have to love him,he has a mother and father already.
You must try to be just and fair in everything that concerns him as your husband has a responsibility for his own seed(if DNA testing proves this)


I don't understand why you're against your husband's ex friend,he did you a favour by telling you the truth.
You would never have known your husband had a son somewhere.

Besides,he would not have introduced the lady to.your husband,if your husband was not looking for who to be introduced to and you will be deceiving yourself to believe your husband is not happy that he has produced a child.


Just make the best of your.life,if you cannot have biological children,adopt one and just make up.your mind to be happy and do whatever pleases you.

Face your life and start to.enjoy it.

Life is too short.

Lordswazz:
Any man worth his salt can easily get sex. Just keep your woman if that's the only shortcoming and show her care and love, but don't suffer for it. Get sexual satisfaction elsewhere.

How a about a woman her husband cannot satisf y?Any woman worth her salt can easily get sex .
What say ye?

No matter how you put it,you got your stay because of her not on your own standing.
That is the way her parents will view it.

It's not a crime ,neither is it a bad thing.

In the end,I hope you are worth the massive leap of faith their daughter has taken because in my opinion it is usually difficult to find a man that is worth disobeying your parents for in the long run/marrying from back door.

Human beings mess up,some more than others.
I just hope when push comes to shove, you OP will be loyal to your wife.

You have made her go against her family, effectively making her choose you.

I can imagine if it was your mother and your wife was complaining,you would tell her to roll on the ground and bend over backwards to please.

As long as it's naija man you are marrying,you as a female will need your family for support.

As for OP,do not lose your self dignity though to please in-laws .

Do what you want ,follow your instinct.

I hope.for your wife's sake that you prove yourself to be worth this thing that she has done.

Good luck.

Someone should explain what throwing hands means please

ayokemi009:
In as much as what he did is totally irresponsible, involving a third party over a matter they could have easily resolved;
How will she feels if the guy at any little altercation decides to report their issues to his own family. Marriage is for matured being and you should only walk away when you noticed your partner really have a problem and he cant be helped.

Slapping with bleeding is serious.

Outside Nigeria he would be docked for assault
Today slap,tomorrow what?

Even the worst abusers apologize and cry as if the world is ending and it usually starts with slap,or push and then escalates over the years.

She did well to report,so that next time,he will think twice before slapping and rather would leave the house and let her cool off.

She was removed from a hostile environment,nothing wrong with that.She wil have time.to review her actions and perhaps learn how to express displeasure better.

It is good she has no tolerance to be hit,her family also do not view beating with blood loss as normal.

He has described his marriage as amazing,goes to show you his wife must be a reasonable person but for some reason this his 2am return finally loosened a screw in her head.

Problem with this is we are responsible for our own actions. If police was called,they would acknowledge she shouted but who laid hands on whom? Plus blood?

Since he is older,he should have shown more maturity by seeking to resolve conflict in a less aggressive manner .

They'd better sit down and discuss how to manage themselves better or if they want continue being together.

Oga you said you "took" the back of your hand and gave her a slap.

This hand must be made of iron to cause instant bleeding. Tomorrow you may "take" the front of your hand and now beat her proper.
No wonder the woman ran for her life.

Coming back at 2am is not ideal for someone that is married with a family.

I do not know what throwing hands means.
If she is shouting and you cannot take it shout hard too ,let your voice be louder so you both enjoy the madness together.

Or tell her you will not engage in conversation if she's screaming then lock yourself in the room till she's calm.

This apology you're giving now,if you had put this much effort into saying sorry for coming back this late,your hand would not have located her mouth.

Now the whole family knows you have twitchy hands.How will you now meet their eyes without shame. Budding wife beater is your new nickname.

Your marriage is still new,you both need to learn to resolve conflict in a less hostile manner.

A whole 33 year old man,5 years you used to senior your wife and you cannot manage your home.

Better go and watch war room.

*Your wife did well to invite outside forces since you slapped her hard enough to cause bleeding, it is also likely you would have slapped her again or even hit her if she had kept quiet about it(in your mind,you would start seeing it as the quickest way to keep her quiet),so my brother from now on, if something happens to her the whole world already have small insight into who dunnit.*

Children of abusers stand a high chance of becoming abusers themselves.

Some begin to.identify with oppressors because they have taken on the role as well or they see themselves acting out same role as the oppressor minimising abuse and making excuses for the abuser.

It is always better to take children away from abusive and toxic relationships and co parent happily than leave them to absorb and become the monsters they fear.

Most of them will never be able to truly escape and will re enact same scenario with their future spouses,make excuses & normalise these deep character flaws because it is what they grew up seeing as the order of the day.

Single parents should accept that the absent parent will be held sacred by the child and even made a martyr. The child will make the absentee parent fit into their fantasy of perfection till of course true colours show up.

This scenario plays out over and over and over again.

Best to raise a child with the knowledge that they will always seek out the other parent.

Know this and don't make your child your whole life,have something for yourself so there will not be any bitterness when the perceived "betrayal" by your child naturally will occur.

Just make peace with it and get on with your life.

sgtponzihater1:
If I was alone, I would spend far less. Most studios are all bills inclusive. I will do things for my self knowing that I am alone. I [b]cleared all I have to go to the east to marry, under the illusion that you have to pay much to get great value. But after paying that, [/b]and we are in the hard times, we can't contribute to make each other less stressed.

Sgtponzihater,
I want to believe it's your distress speaking and you know you are talking about a human being and not cattle.
Seems brideprice you paid is still paining you till now.

What you both are facing is teething problems that could occur to any couple who just migrated but yours is slightly more complicated as she is pregnant and may be acting irrationally .

You have to go back to the drawing board and start all over.
Find out what is actually troubling her and then table your grievances and talk through them.

Cleaning,sweeping,cooking are not new.A lot of men do it without batting an eye ,I think that's why no one is showing you much sympathy .Nothing you are doing sounds special unfortunately.

It must be difficult coming from Nigeria from doing nothing to now doing almost all the chores

Buying grocery is not a big deal,you both have to start working together .

Money wise,there's no solution except to talk and write out all bills and what percentage she will bring and you both agree to it .

Remind her that late bills payments could impact your credit rating ,I'm sure you're both looking to buy your own house.

Tell her you want to be appreciated.

It is hard to see a man who treats his wife well getting repaid with wickedness.

Look for women who are very complimentary of their husbands and worship them,those men have usually led by example or have proved to be men who are trustworthy and sacrificial .

These issues can be resolved.im not a fan of involving family,I think a couple should sort their issues by themselves or go to a neutral counsellor.

His family just moved and they both need to adjust their expectations
Life of Nigeria won't cut it,she must be hearing from colleagues how their husbands cook and clean and she has added two plus two.

Add pregnancy to it and you have personality changes within 6 months.

Still doesn't explain why she won't share bills or help out.

sgtponzihater1:
God saved and forgave several bad guys even worse than guymandspecies, he has forgiven me. A women just wants to use my head to play ludo at her own instance. I am much more focused and changed now, and hopefully have put my past in the dusty trash of history never to be revisited

Good to hear but you're not in her mind though.
When did she stop loving you?
Were you paying all the bills in Nigeria?
If you were,it will be hard to change things.
Her pregnancy perfume problem and weakness is not abnormal.
My only concern is that you're spending all you earn without any contribution from her making life very difficult.
Tell her you cannot cope and give her a chance to correct this.
Some people.think Nigeria lifestyle can be replicated without understanding the strain and stress it can cause.
You both need to be kind to each other especially at this delicate point of pregnancy.

In a way I think there's culture shock in the mix.
You cannot balance and watch TV while waiting to be served anymore,sadly you will also join hand in doing chores and everyone will act like it's normal unlike Nigeria.

Maybe a neutral party to talk to,Google counselling services.near you
Pele

sgtponzihater1:
Funny. But are u saying I am suffering based on my past? Only God can balance things for a helpless child like me

She may be punishing you now that the ground is level. Some women carry things in mind and wait to strike.
If her behaviour is changing ,ask her why.

Sgtponzihater,

Your exploits documented on NL are legendary before you changed Monika.
Did she know about it and is this payback? Is this her own way of ensuring you finish all your money on family things and not have extra for other activities?
I hope you've left that life.
Good luck to you two

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Interesting yansh busting happening here

Hm

Animals showing themselves one by one

djlinda77:
Issue resolved... thank you.

Oga tell us what happened so we can learn too which Kain cliffhanger be dis?

Hm

Hm

Hm

Hmm

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