₦airaland Forum

O lule...lol

later, they will say we should give women chance in politics. if they don't steal pension money or NNPC money, they will inflate contract. anyway, what a man can do, a woman can definitely do better

''If the peni.s does not die young, it will eat bearded meat'' - Chinua Achebe

ogepure: What can u do when you hae a husband that keeps malice with you in every little misunderstanding you have with him.

He will keep malice with you for weeks or even months. When you greet him early in the morning he snobs you. You greet him in d evening when he comes back, he will not respond.

If he wants to eat, he asks the house help to give him food which you cooked yourself. Or he getsthe food himself. He will not talk to you until he is satisfied. He doesn't pick your calls.

Pls how do u deal with such a situation.

Unfortunately, I think I can identify with your husband to an extent. I tend to deal with issues same way though I have never done more than a week. Believe me, in your husband's silence, he is actually communicating. Ignoring him or indulging him are two extremes. you need to find a way between. he is suffering as much as you are and he is just expecting you to hear what he is saying through silence. I do this too for a few reasons:
1. my wife argues with me a lot when we disagree. we raise our voices and this puts me off. so, i shut down. if she won't hear my view, I can as well log off.when we both calm down, I sit her down and we talk. But while am logged off, she displays I don't care attitude and that only tends to prolong the truce because you are telling me by your attitude what you were telling while the voices were raised.
2. we are melancholics. forgiveness is difficult for melancholics. incidentally, we marry sanguines because you complement and complete us. you have what we wished we have.
3. we are not batterers. believe me, a good melancholy would rather be hurt than hurt others. personally, my words are razor sharp, so i let it out carefully or not at all.

I cannot say how much your husband loves you but the core of the matter is the temperament differences. While sanguines are fun to be around, they also tend to put us off with their shallow way of approaching issues. their gift is also their weakness. my wife for instance cannot be bothered by anything so she does things at the spur of the moment. Like asking me to wait for her to go shower exactly when she sees i have picked the car keys. wheareas, I have planned my movement to the minute from the night before. if i ignore her, then am insensitive. If I don't I will be boiling inside. all in all, you need to work out your own formula together. best wishes.

TEN THINGS I WOULD DO IF I WERE THE PRESIDENT OF NIGERIA (CONTINUED)

6.OIL SECTOR
The black gold has become the curse of Nigeria rather than a blessing because everyone is striving to outdo each other in stealing as much as they can. The dignity of labour has been eroded as most people seek free allocations just like the Ijaw hooligans/militants. If I am president, i would ensure the Niger-deltans have full control of their resources. They can sell to the rest of us but I guess that since they mostly have no skilled labour and depend on other tribes and nationalities to exploit it for them, I am of the opinion that they would soon realize that wealth comes with responsibilities. Furthermore, I will ensure that not a single drop of oil is imported until new refineries have been erected in strategic locations. The suffering might last for the duration of the construction (about 9 months) but it would be worth every minute of it. Currently, Nigeria cannot call itself an oil producing nation because only finished products count towards a nation’s GDP. Presently, we are net importers of oil and not producers which is a shame to us. Countries like France have no oil but are the leading well and subsurface engineers. They own large oil corporations like ELF which they use to sell output of their technology to lazy brains like us. Britain also does not have natural resources but they have the best command of the oceans around them and have the best navy and cargo transport for wasters like us who like to import lace, cars and other stuff we don’t need. These western powers gave us independence when they saw that we asked for it but they always knew we would still surrender our independence back to them, only this time, it would be willingly and foolishly. Today, Africa is nearly 100% subservient to the west. This is secondary slavery and no one’s fault but ours. It can be corrected.

7. RESEARCH AND EDUCATION
The only reason, apart from contract inflation and corruptible tendencies, why our government rely heavily on expatriates is because they do not believe in the recommendations coming from our ivory towers. They believe it has to be WHITE to be RIGHT. It is an inferiority complex. Today, Julius Berger is still the number 1 construction firm. Shell, the leading oil firm. Even headaches are treated in western hospitals. If i am president, i would give societal problems to the egg heads to propound solutions and rely heavily on them. I will make them know that i am ready to sail or sink based on their advice. It took an Albert Einstein from Princeton University who wrote to President Harry S. Truman about a new invention (the A-bomb). This was what ended the 6-year 2nd world war in a matter of weeks. It took J.F. Kennedy going on air to announce that he would place man on the moon before a certain date to commit his scientists to meet the deadline. Today, all Nigerian leaders do is race to see who can steal the most or who can rule us for the longest number of years. If the higher institutions of learning are tasked and well funded, they can be put on their toes and soon we would realize that necessity is the mother of inventions.

8. JUSTICE DISPENSATION
It is unjust for the likes of Farouk, IBB and OBJ to be moving around leisurely while someone accused of stealing a goat (and who is probably innocent) is yet to see a judge in 5 years and yet they are remanded under inhuman conditions. The justice system has to be re-defined. I will strive to make sure that all citizens answer to just one law – the same law. While i would respect past elder statesmen, i would not hesitate to try the past leaders based on public outcry while ensuring speedy justice delivery system in all cases. Also, the prisons would become institutions where the inmates would be made to learn trades that would help them contribute to society when they leave. Many individuals are criminals not because they want to but because they have no requisite skill, opportunity and funding. This will be part and parcel of the justice system because no one is really secure from criminals until the society upholds the rule of law. Furthermore, it would amaze anyone how well behaved Nigerians can be outside the country: obeying traffic laws and staying on queue. Once the same set of people enter Naija and they just breathe in the air of this place, it’s as if a spirit enters them and you begin to see James Bond style driving, cursing and other forms of recklessness. Fashola has demonstrated a good example but his subservience to Tinubu is his handicap. I would prefer a leader who fears no living being except God.

9. DATA WAREHOUSING
One of the greatest problems I have identified with our nation is lack of information or reliable data on sensitive issues. This has seriously hampered our collective and individual decision making capacities. With the current ICT age, criminals shouldn't be getting away with brazen crimes such issuing dud cheques, robbing banks without wearing masks, crossing of borders by aliens without visa and smuggling with impunity. Our voting system should also have been computerized to such an extent that i should be able to vote anywhere without fear of duplication. After all, i know i can’t empty my bank account at different bank branches without being found out. So why can’t we adapt the same banking technology to other aspects of our lives? This then leads me to the tenth agenda.

10. SECURITY
Billions of dollars, aside from thousands of lives, have been lost due to insecurity. The past and present governments have failed Nigerians woefully in this regard. However, I believe that if the 9 items enumerated above are fully addressed, the security challenges would have dropped by 50%. Currently, each household in Nigeria has its own police force (gateman/me-guard). They have their own water corporation (boreholes). They have their own power generation (generators powered by fuel). They even do their own roads and drainage these days. No wonder Nigerians don’t expect anything anymore from their leaders and little wonder the politicians help themselves to resources meant for these things. This is how I would tackle the outstanding security issues: the police, which are the primary custodian of security, would be appreciated more for their efforts. I realize Nigerian policemen can be effective when well equipped and appreciated. I would let them realize that if anyone of them dies on duty, their children would be fully sponsored to tertiary level on government account. Their lives will be insured by a reputable insurance firm and would ensure that their country would not forget them- ever. I would also let them know that if they collect just N20 and i hear it, they will lose the job and get prosecuted. The security rescue lines would be kept active. Also, all phone call data will be kept to monitor time interval between distress calls and police, firemen, NEMA response time. This will help ensure an effective system. In the absence of NEPA infrastructure, i would sub-contract the CCTV camera technology that would monitor our highways and streets to telecom companies who may use the same generator used to power their base stations to power the street cameras.

I would leave the next government to tackle infrastructure problem (such as water, energy and roads) which would require a stable environment to put in place. My own contribution would be the changing of the average Nigerian's paradigm.

HAPPY 52ND INDEPENDENCE ANNIVERSARY

124mumsy: it is easier said than done, jonathan talk pass dis just imarjine the fresh air

@124mumsy. It would amaze you to know how clueless some persons seating in our governments are. Even Mr. Jonathan who sits in public office but thinks asset declaration is a private matter. He also had the effrontery to say so on national TV. I tell you, Nigerians have become lethargic to have swallowed that. Did u watch the Ondo state guber debate? then you would know what am saying. This post is meant to open a thread on identifying the how to solve Naija's problems. we all know the problems. how to solve it is the biggest one.

Nigeria is a country with much great potential. One such potential is population size. We just happen to have a voice in the world congress just by size alone and not by any economic, cerebral or political genius. But size can be a liability if not properly sustained. Nigeria’s size has turned into a liability because the member nations are so fractionalized by self interest. Today, Nigeria is not one nation but an alliance of reluctant nations. Our interests vary from religion, to tribal interests with several other miniature interests in between. Every Nigerian knows the problem of Nigeria. What we lack is how to tackle it. The father of all Nigerian challenges is corruption; the mother is injustice. All the other challenge we have are children of this couple. So, if I were president, this is how I would address the challenges:

AMASSING OF WEALTH
1. I would ensure no one is allowed to move freely who cannot account for every kobo he claims to own. Nearly every Nigerian is guilty in this regard. We celebrate the rich without asking how they got rich. So when the youths see that the end will justify the means, we have youths who would not want to work hard anymore. Let’s note that persons between the ages of 13 and 40 (youths) account for roughly over 60% of our population. Most of these are jobless, out of school or lack access to fair opportunities. So, our youngsters buy results in schools, ride okada (instead of learning and practicing some trade) while others go into brazen daylight robbery. This lesson is learnt easily when we see the likes of Farouk Lawan getting away with a crime having 160 million witnesses without anyone saying ‘hey stop there.’ This practice has also permeated the holy places. The clergies simply ignore the weak and celebrate the high and mighty. This is sad indeed. Anyone willing to serve in any official capacity would be compelled not just to declare their assets but to also give a statement of earnings/income which MUST be verified long before you are allowed to even pick a nomination form or appointed to any office.

RETIREES
2. Let me address the older citizens who account for roughly another 20%. I would ensure that every retiree has his benefits paid into his or her account before the 30th day of each month. I would also make sure that social workers carry out the necessary verification once a year by visiting them at home rather than disrespecting them by having them travel long distances and spending long hours on queues designed to cut short their lives. The youths in the first category have seen how they will end up if they don’t steal enough to cater for themselves in old age. So, many steal not because they want to but because they have seen that we live in a jungle where only the fittest is allowed to survive.

PUBLIC FUND WASTAGES
3. I would ensure that every government official from the LGA to the federal level patronizes public schools, hospitals and other similar institutions. We all, including Mr. President will fly public airlines (British officials do). Even if the Nigerian official can afford private schools, hospitals or chartered jets, I will forbid their doing so until they leave office (including myself). The alternative will be to resign. At most, I can ensure that the public school being attended by most children of the public officials are highly secured with necessary personnel and gadgets. Also, none will be allowed to school abroad. If anyone does so secretly and the news filters to me, such an official will be relieved of duty and ridiculed. In Nigeria today, even state governors maintain private jets and their wives move around town in fleets of cars numbering at least five at a time. This is a colossal waste and no one is bothering to question the practice. The amount leaving the shores of this country in terms of forex to pay for foreign education is alarming. It is in excess of billions of dollars. These sums can transform the educational system of Nigeria.

RELIGION
4. I would de-emphasize religion. Religion has been a major fault line in the Nigerian society. Yet, religion is merely an opinion and everyone is entitled to his/her own. Everyone would have a right to practice his/her religion but that is it. Religion will remain a private affair and nothing more than that. No one would be allowed to foist his beliefs on others. Preaching of any kind would be allowed but forceful conversions to any religion would be regarded as an act of terrorism. Also, government has no business sponsoring crowds on holy pilgrimages to Mecca or Jerusalem. Churches are meant to be non-profit organizations. Any profit in excess of their running cost will be taxed. Sharia or any other form of extremism will have no place in my country. Anything short of peaceful practice of individual belief will be visited with a vehement clamp down. Clergies would need to obtain a practicing license (this is done in the USA). Practicing without license would be prosecutable under law.

DISTRIBUTION OF POLITICAL POWER
5. I would reduce the power at the centre (federal) and shed some of my powers to the different units. In other words, I would make the centre less attractive than it is now so that all the different parts of the country will stop fighting to get there because the action will now be in their respective home states. I would set the LGAs free from the state governors also. I would ensure that power is closer to the common man than it is today. I would also ensure that the resources from each state are spent in each state and maybe just a fraction (say 10% tentatively) will be remitted to the centre to run the centre and the judiciary. The main business of the federal government will be the administration of the federating units as well as foreign policy. If any state is poorer than others or in any economic distress, i could put mechanisms in place to get them loans from richer states but there would no longer be free lunches or handout or allocations. No way. Free money leads to wastage. From my 1st day in office, I would drive fiscal responsibility and accountability. The oil producing states would be free to keep their oil though they may be charged higher on what would be remitted to the centre. Other states that used to produce groundnut would be encouraged to go back to agriculture. After all, the pre-independence Nigerian economy was run effectively on agriculture money and it can still happen. I am one of the few who believe the north can actually do well if Nigeria should break up (God forbid). The entire soup pot (tomatoes, onions, meat etc) comes from up north. The south-south cannot drink oil, neither can they keep importing food (since they have no farmlands, most of which has been polluted by oil exploitation activities). If the centre is less attractive, our political terrain will be less volatile and the tribal gaps will close up; peace will reign in Nigeria.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NIGERIA. TO BE CONTINUED.

I would fly to meet Father Abraham and try to convince him not to sleep with his house girl because the love child will give his future main child lots of headache. If he ignores me, on my way back to reality i will stopover at Bin Laden's mom's place and compel her to abort her foetus. This time i won't fail.

Dear poster, I feel very sorry for you, not because your husband is not working but because you didn't see this picture before you agreed to his proposal. He hasn't deceived you in any way. It is you who got carried away probably with love or xxxual pressure (am sure you guys got wedded to avoid xxxual sin). Evil spirits are whispering all manner of things into vulnerable christians' ears these days and am sure he is a victim. Unfortunately, the only way out for you now is to wait it out unless you want him to accuse you of destroying his ministry before it is born. Divorce is no option am sure you know that. Judging from what i learnt from my own bible, your husband is missing it completely but we all learn one way or the other. The real servants of God are some of the most hard working people on earth. Ministry is no joke. It scares me personally cos ave been down that road. Even if he does start a ministry today, he is going to pressured to take church money which is sin anyway. His needs are supposed to be divinely supplied whether he has started church or not. If his needs are not being supplied now, it means God didn't call him and he is being deceived by the devil and unfortunately, your life is also affected. As it is, he has to be jolted back to reality. Let me teach you what to do. Try his faith. And i want you to do this with a good intention of helping him. If he truly heard God, you guys will be fed supernaturally. If not, hunger will jolt him back to earth. STOP FEEDING HIM. Simply tell him you have exhausted your resources and he should ask GOD what you guys will do next. meanwhile find a way of eating outside or something. Hunger is a powerful motivator. Also avoid exposing him outside to people close to you. Bible says a wise woman builds her home but the foolish tears it down with her own hand (Proverbs 14:1). God has given women some power to be a ble to make their men do whatever they want (check out Eve and Adam). This is your home now. You opted for it. Find a way of using wisdom to get back on track. Smile and show support but by all means withdraw the FOOD pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease.

@OP, i couldn't help but laugh out loud and for long after reading this post even though i was in the office. The funny side apart, however, i know how hurt the poster is. We all need to know now that there are some single words that work like magic in any relationship (but marriage especially). Ignorance of these words could spell doom. Words like ''sorry'', ''please'' etc. In my view, the poster is very romantic and that is not a bad thing. Many Nigerian ladies complain that Nigerian men are not romantic but it is women like the poster's wife that turned most Nigerian men into the chauvinists they are. I recently demanded an apology from my wife for shouting on me in the presence of our kids. i never do that to her. She refused. I assured her point blank that she will do so or there will be trouble. she bluffed me. First i commenced the silent treatment but knew she was used to that and is even an expert at that now (she learnt it from me and i agree with the poster who insinuated that our spouse is a reflection of us). Unknown to her, i had drawn up a war budget. I had a six month plan to extract the apology. i stopped eating at home. My war plan was to continue providing for the home while having an extra budget to eat outside, say only the necessary words to her and stay out for as long as i want (which i normally don't do). I was shocked that my apology came within 24hours while on her knees plus a lot of female magic including smooching. War ended instantly. It is wrong to take each other for granted but at the same time you would not be helping your spouse by taking shit. Women should be handled with care but also very firmly. Let me assure you that when she gets a job, her attitude will get worse. Can you answer this simple question. Assuming the roles were reversed and she is a top flight executive at a bank and you were the one seeking a job, can you honestly respond that she will be caring and submissive? i rest my case.

hey bro, i understand how you feel. I want to lend my voice to those who said you should forgive her, never take it against her in the future and move on. In fact, never let it escape your mouth once even in a quarel. I am persuaded that she wants to be with you and all you need in a woman is sincere love. If she has it for you, go for it. I once dated an 18year old girl. She confessed to me that she was disvirgined at 5yrs of age by an uncle. Later, she had a boyfriend who impregnated her and she aborted it (all before she was 20yrs old). She even confessed that she was still in that relationship when she agreed to date me. I loved this girl like crazy and i asked her if she wanted me or the other guy. She opted for me. I forgave the abortion and terrible history. I forgave her because i loved her. All this while i had never slept with a woman and for the duration of our relationship (1.5yrs), i didnt touch her. About a year later, i had to quit the relationship when i realized that what she wanted was my money and not me. Several years later she wept and asked me why i didnt exercise more patience for her and that she was immature then. She is 29years old now and married with a kid but still stays in touch because according to her, I am different. Though i might have kept myself, i don't feel better than her morally because before God, all sins are equal. I wanted to protect her but she wouldnt let me. Today, i am married to a lovely woman and we have kids. She had her past too and she opened up to me. I let it go and today we have a beautiful relationship. It's a privilege to have someone tell you their worst deeds. Sincerely, you have no reason to forgive someone else's past because the offence was not directed at you. If you are privileged to know, it is just for your information and possible adjustment (in an attempt to understand your partner). May God pardon us all.

Joagbaje:
It's a play of words . One could have said "marriage is a serious Bussoness"  business is not necessarily in terms of money. Church is not a business in that sense, but some churches runs certain businesses such business can be taxed. It is not registered as church but a business enterprise

While the churches are not being taxed, their derivatives are being taxed directly and indirectly. I work at covenant university and the tax we pay is among the highest anywhere in the country. Personally, N10k is being drawn from my pay while my colleague/equivalent in a federal university pays around N3k.

Hey, Earswide, I was surprised to see your last thread that you were awaiting my response. That's flattering. Really, i find it very difficult to sustain this arguments simply because it took me years to arrive at what i have accepted as my beliefs and it will be difficult to expalin them in details in a few threads.However, i will attempt o answer a few of your questions BECAUSE YOU ASKED. 

EarsWide:
@Papido

Thanks for your response.
If we both agree that holiness is not synonymous with wealth - then why does Oyedepo talk about 'covenant seed sowing'. I have listened to him say that prayers and fasting wont bring prosperity but that tithing/giving can.

I am happy you said tithing/giving 'can' not 'will'. If he promised and it failed, then we can call him a fraud. However, every promise in scripture commits man to carry out other responsibilities before the promise can be actualized. Even Jesus always said be it unto you according to your faith. Many lazy people expect the pastor to complete the miracle for them but there is a part that the seeker of miracle must perform. It is true that any smart person can be rich but there are different kinds of wealth. The divine type (God given, not self achieved) brings along with it a few fringe benefits like (peace of mind, security and long life). I cannot speak for others but i can speak for myself. In 2009 December during shiloh, i felt it impressed on my spirit to sow a seed of N50k (meant for my PhD field work) to church despite the fact that i needed that money badly. I did. In just one month, I won a research grant of over $3,000 (about N450k) from Sweden. I could decide to do my PhD in my own strength but i followed my heart and i got the work finished sweatlessly. I didnt sow that money because he told me to. I did because he called for an offering and my spirit agreed that i do so. However, about 4years prior to this, i heard him preach and i sowed my entire month's salary because i got carried away and nothing happened. It was the same thing he said in 2004 that he said in 2009. The difference is in hearing God by yourself. God has sent him to say something but God will also touch the heart of those HE means to hear such a message.

EarsWide:
@Papido


I do not believe I am quoting him out of context - the sermon was titled 'Covenant Day of Vengeance'.It was very shocking to see 50,000 people praying for the destruction of enemies. You come across as a reasonable person - I think someone like you would have been a bit hesitant about praying for the death of a fellow human being. Lets imagine my enemy is Mr T - do I then say 'God please kill Mr T!' - there is something profoundly unchristian about that. I could just have prayed 'God please dont let Mr T succeed in his attempts to get me' or better yet pray 'God plese change Mr T to a better person'. God can do anything - it does not take less effort on Gods part to destroy Mr T than to change him to a better person.

In anycase this 'Covenant Day of Vengeance' is playing to the idea that all our misfortunes are down to 'enemies' - which is one of the reasons why Africa remains backward. Good people will be sick, poor, die young etc. It does not mean anyone is after them or God is not protecting them. Some people are born disabled - do we really think it is down to enemies ? This 'enemy' thing is just one weapon in the arsenal of the prosperity guys.

Just like the above discussion, God would have laid it upon his heart to dedicate just this one sunday service out of 52 sundays in a year to Vengeance. This does not mean that this is a permanent stand. Besides, the bible says ''suffer not a witch to live.'' There is what you refer to as spiritual wickedness in high places. those who hate you without reason. I used the analogy of Pharoah the other time. Some enemies will not let you go unless they die. Some bilogical parents are even responsible for the misfortune of their kids. Quite alright there are human problems that arise out of natural cause but, Earswide, can you honestly, honestly,  honestly say there is no spiritual forces anywhere, especially the wicked ones? I sincerely pray you don't have difficulties. I grew up seeing my father fight spiritual battles. Hospitals turned him down and he was delivered only by prayers. He enemy was his own aunt-in-law, the very woman who raised my mom up. This is a story for another day. Needless to say, my dad had peace only after the woman died (at the age of 90yrs of course). there is room for repentance in God's kingdom for those who are interested but some people don't care about repentance. They will care only about judgement.

On the issue of credit cards, i will say nothing because as far as i know, i don't know anyone who uses it here in Nigeria or abroad. I am not saying there are no people doing that but personally, i don't know any.

As for the issue of Adeboye and Oyedepo buying choppers, it struck me that you are really an insider because you have so much facts yourself. Sincerely,i think they need choppers more than they need an airplane. would you rather they blow siren in hold ups? The primary assignment of these men is to heal the sick through spiritual means and this they have spent precious energy doing. inspite of the multitudes of unhealed folks all around, i can tell you there are very many folks who got healed through these men too. If they invest so much in hospitals, then they defeat their own preaching. Oyedepo is about to set up a medical school at covenant university with a state of the art facility but you honestly don't expect it to be free of charge? Some serious health cases require up to N5m on one individual. If he decides to take up every case free of charge tell me, will the hospital survive? you want him to pay the doctors, nurses and then foot the medical bills of people he doent know? haba. As for the universities, i keep saying to all that care to listen that Covenant University is one of the cheapest private universities in Nigeria when compared with the facilities they offer. At N380k with constant light and water and full boarding and IT services, i think it is cheaper than Obasanjo's N500k school fees which has less facilities; cheaper than Atiku's N1m, and even cheaper than Babcocks N300k (because the last time i checked, their roads were not even tarred). He personally pays scholarship for 23 students who doesnt know from Adam. this scholarship is different from the one the church covers. You honestly cant run such a school free of charge. One professor earns at least N450k per month. we have over 30 professors apart from other support staff. How long do you think such an expense can be sustained without students paying school fees?

obongproff:
I have been dating this chic for like 6 months now. She turns me on on every angle. We have our differences but I like almost everything about her. I enjoy her company to the fullest and never grow bored or tired of seeing her or talking to her. I have never been with a lady without any pinch of boredom in my entire life. She is not the most beautiful girl in the world, but to me she's the sweetest. Our communication lines are excellent, she has a good sense of humour. She's caring and understands me a lot. The list is endless.

Am 26 and am planning to get married next year. The only person I can think of right now is her cos I would really have fun if we did get married. Plus, she is also madly in love with me. I see it written all over her.

The problem is, she is 34. Though am not a baby my family wouldn't take it funny at all. My mentors/guardians/counsellors would also totally disapprove the matter.

I can't stand losing her. U know there are some people you just can't have a casual relationship with. I want to marry this chic but I don't want to have problems with my family and mentors in the process.

Please Nairalanders, what do I do? Is it a crime to marry a lady that's 8 years older than you, despite the compatibility, love and "mutuality" you both share? Or is it just the old African mentality that am up against?

Hey, obongproff, welcome to the club. I am married to a woman who is 4years older than i am for the last two years. we have 2kids now. Truth is that i have not loved another person more in all those years. She has all i want in a woman. So, young man, go on and marry your woman. I'll give you a few tips though. My family members don't know her age. We kept that to ourselves. She'll be 40 next year but we won't mark it loudly to avoid undue attention. It's strictly between us and for our children to find out when they are older. She is the most respectful and dutiful lady i ever met. I once dated a girl that was 6yrs younger than i am but i have never met a more rude lady. So, age is in numbers. Someone mentioned the fact that is she looking older than you. If she is, that might be a slight headache. if you are the type that is perturbed by public opinion, then watch it because you may not be able to cope in future. Personally, i am an unconventional person so am not easily swayed. She looks slightly older than i am though she's got a figure that makes men's heads spin. she's even getting grey hairs but we just play over that and i love her to bit. So, man, follow your heart and goodluck.

Hey, good morning peeps. Am just getting back on the forum since last night and i like to respond to Earswide's intelligent and rational queries.

EarsWide:
@Papido

The fundamental mistake made today by many christians (and promoted actively by the prosperity gospel preachers) is that material wealth is as a result of holiness - IT IS NOT. There are millions of non christians  that are extremely wealthy, at the same time there are millions of good christians who are poor. This is not restricted to wealth - good people die young, good people live long, bad people die young, bad people live long. The ways of the Lord are a mystery. We should not assume Oyedepo's or other preachers' wealth is down to their holiness - in fact I believe the reverse is the case. I have watched a sermon of his where he prayed for the destruction of enemies - we all know this cannot be correct. Jesus said clearly ' pray and love your enemies'. I have seen him preach that 'borrowing is wrong' yet his churches accept donations via credit card. These sermons and others I have seen lead me to conclude that he has a very poor understanding of christianity or has deliberately chosen to mislead people.

I will assume from your silence about what happens to a member of the congregation who falls ill - that Winners chapel will not fly that person abroad for treatment on a private - but the church supposedly spends money on relief in the North and elsewhere in Africa. So effectively the members of the congregation are suffering so that the non members of the church can get relief. This is commendable, it is the very basis of christianity - however Oyedepo personally has the use of 2 private jets (if 1 is used for cargoing relief materials), several luxury vehicles and of course the best healthcare money can buy. The same applies to education, Covenant university is too expensive for most members of the congregation but the church is supposedly spending money to build free schools in Sudan - Oyedepos children I will bet went to the best schools money can buy.

I will concede one thing to you - it seems you are prepared to have a reasoned argument which I commend. I am glad  you said you have some personal reservations - this is a good sign. I have not arrived at my views overnight - I struggled to comprehend that 'Men of God' would set out to con and deceive people but unfortunately this is the case. Supposed men of god will lie, cheat, commit adultery in church just to achieve their aims - which is primarily wealth accumulation. Nonsense such as '24 hour miracle seed', '100 fold return' , 'blessings 10 times that of your father' etc are bandied about in church - the prosperity gospel has been around for almost a century - why are christians still poor ? The desperation of Africa and poor people everywhere has unfortunately made them susceptible to these charlatans - this is why these charlatans deserve our contempt,

@Earswide,
Holiness is not synonymous with wealth like you rightly said but holy people have no reason to be poor. The bible said ''my people (God's own holy people) perish for lack of knowledge''. Wealth is information intensive. Whether you go to church or not, when you have the right info, you are on your way up.

Also i like you to avoid quoting Oyedepo out of context. You said you watched a sermon of his where he prayed for the destruction of enemies. Granted he said so, but that does not mean that is what he does always. We all know that there are some enemies that will not let you go unless you destroy them. Take the instance of Pharaoh and the Israelites. God was patient and gave several warnings but they didnt budge. At a point in time, even Jesus Christ asked his disciples to sell their coats and purchase swords (Luke 22:35-36) i believe for self defence. Christianity is for peace but the occasion will determine the appropriate response.

On the issue of people paying tithe with credit cards, as far as i am concerned, we use debit cards (not credit cards) within Nigeria. If anyone is paying with credit card, it might be those outside the shores of Nigeria and because those advance economies discourage carrying around huge cash. They operate more of a cashless society. people who don't like debts might decide not to upset their finances by paying just for what they can immediately offset to the credit card companies at the end of the month. Under that circumstance, i think we might be flexible here and not go into debt in an attempt to pay God's share.

On the issue of relief in the northern parts of Nigeria, i was talking about winners chapel members who need relief from the religious extremism that caused many to lose their lives and property. He is not just helping outsiders and denying his own people. No. He is also conversant with the suffering winners. I have not heard that a sick member of the church needs to fly and that Oyedepo did not grant the use of the jet. This cannot be confirmed or denied. But i believe that even if he does help some faceless person with the jet, he wouldn't announce it so we may never know. He makes a lot of moves secretly. Some are known only to his close circuits, some to us staff, some to the church and some to the general public. However, I am aware that Bishop Abioye (his deputy) has unlimited access to the jets too.

Many prosperity preachers swindle people like you rightly observed. This is unfortunate. However, I am convinced that most of these frauds are only trying to imitate Oyedepo who is obviously the pioneer in this field. Oyedepo is not a fraud. I expressed my reservations on some of his operations because given the opportunity i will definitely not do certain things he does and subscribe to some other things that he doesn't, but Earswide, on the whole, this man is worth hearing. He has passion and compassion. You cannot know this unless you hear him continuously for a period, say 3months. While there may be some human errors on his part, i daresay no one will throw away his infant together with the bath water just because the baby pooed. You take what is useful and discard the rest. That is what i do with his teachings.

EarsWide:
@Papido

Thanks for the response. Do you know how much the planes cost ?

EarsWide:
@Papido

You say he does not draw any salary from the church but the church provides him a fleet of 3 planes. These planes at a minimum will cost $50 million dollars (N7.5 billion at an exchange rate of 150). The income from his books it is claimed is N300 million a year - it will thus take him 25 years of his own income to buy those planes. So there is nothing commendable about him not drawing a salary from the church.

The most expensive among the planes, a challenger aircraft, cost $25million (N3.75billion).

dare2think:
@papido

I like your approach too, though I don t agree with some things you said , I respect your stand.


But be careful, do not depend or exalt Or put complete trust in your fellow man, You will be disappointed, only God is infallible.

In my view, no need for jets when their are still hungry people in the country.

Good luck, I'm sure your are a pleasant dude.

Thanks, for allowing me a right to my opinion while you hold on to yours.

EarsWide:
@Papido

It is wicked and reckless for the church to spend so much on private planes on the back of tithes and offerings donated by people some of who are on less than N40,000 a year. These people cannot afford to send their kids to decent schools or afford the most basic of healthcare. If a less well off member of the congregation develops kidney failure - will he flown abroad on the private jet for treatment ? If Oyedepo's income is as large as you say it is, coupled with the huge income from tithes and offerings why does the church universities charge fees that most members of the congregation cannot afford ? What is happening to the large amounts of money raised ?

I have my personal reservations on some of these things so i will not defend him blindly. However I will tell you what i once told my wife when she asked me, ''why is our money being used to buy new chairs while the new pews are discarded as waste.'' My response, ''the moment you drop that money in church for God, it is no longer our money but God's money.if you call it your own, then it never left your heart and hand and thus is not acceptable to God. so if it is no longer our money and it is God's money, whoever misappropriates God's money will regret this 'cos you cant cheat God.'' Furthermore, the psalmist said i Psalm 23:5, ''thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies,  MY CUP RUNNETH OVER'' When your cup is so filled that it runs over, that means you have so much that part of it goes to waste. It is a level of blessing that David experienced, that Oyedepo is experiencing and i hope to experience. I do not defend these wastages but the guy is blessed, no one here can dispute that. Just make sure you are not part of the enemy that is compassing the table that has been prepared for him by God.

One of the 3 jets is a cargo plane that takes relief materials to areas of natural disasters. The federal government of Nigeria itself commented that Winners chapel was the organization that contributed the most materials for the rehabilitation of residents of Koma Hills. Presently in war torn sudan, Winners Chapel is building schools for that country. All the teachers will be sent from Nigeria and their salaries will be paid by the Church. Sudanese children will pay nothing. Here in Nigeria, Winners began in the Northern Nigeria and many of those church members are being slaughtered by extremists. Relief materials go from the south and the cargo planes serve for that purpose. This man does not even bother to tell newspapers that this is what he is doing to help the poor but he is helping the poor.

The aircrafts were paid for by the church.

@Muskeeto, you have left the issue and started confusing issues. You asked a question, it was answered and yet you refuse to back down. Yes Dangote's gateman may not know how much he makes but he will sure know how he makes money. As for the human worship that you mentioned, that cannot be ruled out in any system. Al-Mustapha refused to deny his boss even in death regardless of everyone's opinion. However i do not approve of worshipping men of God and i don't.Am sure you have something you belive in tenaciously. Without a firm belief, you will waver at every new concept that comes along.

EarsWide:
@Papido

Since you are a church insider - can you confirm how many planes are owned by Winners Chapel ? Also were the planes paid for by the church ?
Thanks.

The church currently own 3 planes. The first one which was an aged second hand aircraft was sold.

@dare2think, it's heartwarming to learn dat you don't hate him. I love his messages so i hear them a lot. When you hear someone a lot, you tend to be able to predict them. I knew about him the first time in 1989. Later in 2004, I joined the church as a member and staff. I am on the team of those that count the money of the church after service. I have been doing this for about 4years and he has never visited the place personally during that period. He has a full time staff whose only job is to manage and handle his personal bank accounts and finances. There are about a few members of staff in the ministry that earn 7 figures in salary. But he doesn't draw any salary from the ministry. No dime leaves the church account without 3 signatories including himself. none of the other two are members of his family. so you know, a scandal is not far if he dares misappropriate church money because no non-member apart from himself will remain a signatory for life. He did this for relative accountability and transparency.

dare2think:
Foreget about violent,

How did Oyedepo get his wealth?

Indulge us, so all this "blasphemy" stops.

Papido:
I haven't had time to read through all the contributions but i wish the answer the original question that triggered this thread. Oyedepo's source of PERSONAL income is solely through financial gifts from individuals, not tithes or offerings. Individuals all over the world who have been touched by his ministry pay money into his personal accounts and this run into multiplied millions per month. It may interest you to know that both church members and non church members (Muslims inclusive) send gifts to him. His travels (fleet of jets) and accommodation however are paid for by the ministry. He does not draw any salary from the church but rather pay his own tithe (in millions also) into the church purse. According to him, the annual turn over from his books alone is in excess of N300 million. However, all this money goes into the church coffers, not his.

@Dare2think, your question has already been answered. The only mystery in Oyedepo's source of wealth is the fact that people who don't know him one on one would even think of paying money into his account at all. The man doesn't even say thank you to those who drop this money. if you are familiar with his style, you would see that the way he talks should even discourage you from dropping any money at all. He doesnt beg and he wouldn't even say thank you for dropping anything. That is not conventional. Winners chapel is the only church i know that dont do fund raising or send out contribution envelopes for charity donations. Yet things are working for him. This is what happens when you are favoured by God. This man doesnt spend church funds on personal expenses. He spends it only on official business which include travels and paying of salaries to over 5,000 ministry staff. Why are you so angry at this man? If something that defies the laws of nature is happening around you, the only sensible thing to do is to understudy that thing. That's why i like oyinbo people. They will come and research what you know. In this part of the world, we kill off such ideas with our mouth (or pen or keyboard).

musKeeto:
Any one can learn the skillful art of defending and winning by reading this thread. smh

1.  Attack is the best form of defense,

First of all from a biblical point of view,
Luke 20:21 So the spies questioned him: “Teacher, we know that you speak and teach what is right, and that you do not show partiality but teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. 22 Is it right for us to pay taxes to Caesar or not?”23 He saw through their duplicity and said to them, 24 “Show me a denarius. Whose image and inscription are on it?” “Caesar’s,” they replied.25 He said to them, “Then give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”

Secondly, are you seriously comparing paying taxes with paying tithes? Are you inferring that one is a model of the other? Do you have any idea what taxes are? Are you saying God 'taxes' us by telling us to pay tithes?

Please, before you attack again, answer these questions


2. In self defence, anything goes.
Please, Bible knowledge is not I.T knowledge. If one has followers on Facebook/Twitter, he makes money from Google,  I.T joke of the year, 
Personal website,  no wahala,  facebook,  give unto Zuckerberg what belongs to Zuckerberg. 
So sales from Oyedepo's books built him the empire he has today, wow, wondeful books,

His church has presence in more than 40 countries, Dangote's Group does not have such presence and yet he is a billionaire in Dollar and you are not crying. Thank you for finally pointing out that Oyedepo is running a church/business,  He has made his money as a businessman from money 'donated' to him as a clergyman,  Please correct me if I'm wrong   

3. Know your opponentsFirst off Osama also killed Moslems. He was fighting against the western nations not necessarily Christians. You know how many souls are lost in Pakistan and Baghdad every day. Are they all Christians?
So now we give our 10% not to God, but to a pastor to get assured answers to prayers? Your thinking is really shallow. Don't Christians have direct access to God through Jesus Christ? You mean Jesus blood on the cross didn't cover payment of tithe?

Now who is the not-so-smart person?

Muskeeto, I am disappointed that you could be asking these questions. You are behaving exactly like the Jews who begged Pilate to release Barrabas a robber but to crucify Jesus. Whatever is done in secular world is excusable but whatever a man of God does is unpardonable. You asked if tithe is comparable to tax. If you are a bible reader you would know that the only difference between tax and tithe is the fact that tithe is not enforced. Aside from that, i will tell you that tithe is tax. It is God's portion and it is compulsory but people don't pay it because God wont throw them in jails. If it were not tax, God would not state in Malach 3:8-10 that you rob HIM when you don't pay it. So Dangote is permitted to have billions with a spread in less than 20 countries but because a pastor is in question, he isnt allowed to have what dangote has even though he has followership in over 40countries. For your information, God's business is exactly just that: BUSINESS. Encarta describes BUSINESS in 12ways but the first one translates as line of work, trade or profession.  . A man who conducts God's business on earth is in a profession with the difference that his employer is God, yours is a man. Stop fighting divine agenda gentlemen lest you be found to be confronting God.

I haven't had time to read through all the contributions but i wish the answer the original question that triggered this thread. Oyedepo's source of PERSONAL income is solely through financial gifts from individuals, not tithes or offerings. Individuals all over the world who have been touched by his ministry pay money into his personal accounts and this run into multiplied millions per month. It may interest you to know that both church members and non church members (Muslims inclusive) send gifts to him. His travels (fleet of jets) and accommodation however are paid for by the ministry. He does not draw any salary from the church but rather pay his own tithe (in millions also) into the church purse. According to him, the annual turn over from his books alone is in excess of N300 million. However, all this money goes into the church coffers, not his.

I wish to address a sensitive issue at this point. Tithing is a very ancient institution (Beginning from Abraham). God gave tithes and offerings to levitical priests in scriptures (Numbers 18:24, 26, 28). This is the equivalent of full time pastors today. The purpose of this tithe is to run God's business on earth and to feed the pastors themselves. To question this ordinance is to question God Himself. In years past, pastors do not usually have excess money to burn but we all agree that they have always lived off tithes and offerings. However in recent times, pastors are now having so much money from tithes and offerings. No one can tell you how to spend your own money. Likewise, this money we are all blabbering about has been given to them by God. It belongs to them and they are accountable only to God and in some instances, the authorities of the countries where they are registered.

Dear Harakiri (by the way, your name mean ''suicide by disembowelment'' in Japanese and i think you should change it), I am disturbed by your abusive and foul language even when someone tries to come out with facts in order to separate the truth from myths. I am not a paid defender of Oyedepo and am merely stating the facts as i've experienced them. I can't cope with these abuses so i will end my contributions here. I will go back to reading from you all from the background. Goodluck.

I am aware that it is a hard thing to convince people whose minds are already made up on a subject. And this is why it took me so long to interject. However, i try to be as objective as possible. Ezego said ''you have confirmed that your pastor is a fund manger with no beneficiaries but himself''. No entrepreneur benefits himself alone. In solving others' problems lies your own wealth. except for ritualists and corrupt politicians, can you point out one rich man who did not solve someone else's problems? Ezego also asked, ''why can't all you ignorant people pool alll your resources together and do some business and share the dividends equally amongst yourself rather than giving this greedy pastor.'' I will refer you to Robert Kiyosaki's book, THE CASHFLOW QUADRANT. There you will learn that all persons fall under 4 categories. most are employees and only a few have the inborn capacity to birth and operate a business succesfully. America is succesful today on the platform of the private sector operators. Oyedepo employs tens of thousands so am not just one of a lucky 'few'. If Ezego can employ 1000 people, you would have contributed immensely in reducing unemployment in our land.

Dare2think also gave the impression that it's only pastors who are supposed to help the poor when he wrote, ''There should be no poor person in is vicinity if he has money to get get a jet''. i beg to differ on this. I think helping the poor is the collective responsibility of all of us in the society. besides, anyone with an economic sense will tell you that sharing money for free on the streets does more evil than good. A practical example is Robert Mugabe's Zimbabwe where the president seized land from the enterprising whites and distributed them to his indolent citizens. The economy collapsed and he went into printing more money. We all know the outcome today. The law of economics forbid this. You can do more for the poor by helping him to learn feed than by giving him handouts. This is without prejudice to the need to come to the rescue of the poor who are desperately in need of urgent intervention.

Dare2think also questioned the global coverage of Oyedepo. Mind you i said ''Christianity globally''. The christian world consist of only about 1 billion people (out of the 6 billion human population). There is hardly any UK citizen who deos not know Ashimolowo. Oyedepo has visited that church in UK many times and thereby became known to many British people. He also has churches in 45 African countries and in most of these countries, he is welcomed on the tarmac by their respective presidents. In the USA, most of the pentecostal leaders their have visited Canaanland and i saw them with my own eyes (Creflo Dollar, Kenneth Copeland, Kenneth Hagin (I didn’t see Hagin but I saw the picture), Myles Munroe etc).
With respect to tithing, there is no christian who should not know that tithing is perfectly scriptural and should be paid to churches. It is an institution that dates back to Abrahamic days and was endorsed by Jesus. So it is not an issue of debate. However, I do not support the abuse of this ordinance. when pastors misuse this privilege, they cannot go scot free. They have a God to answer to.
Permit me to add that Jesus did His best while on earth but even He did not eradicate poverty. The poor will always be around us and we all must do the best we can the way we can and leave the rest for others. If i say more on the details of my ''anger'' at some of Oyedepo's policies, you will understand that i am objective indeed but I think I should look at the big picture and see the good he is doing rather than his methods of doing them which may not be acceptable to everyone.
I am happy to note that no one in the forum is opposed to the idea of using some of the jets for for commercial purposes in order to offset the maintenance costs. I take this as a concession on the part of those arguing against multiple jets.

I have read every comment in this discourse because I am deeply concerned. Incidentally, i work and live in Canaanland. I have been here for over 6years. I have read the comments for and against the 4th Jet purchase. I can understand the anger of those against it and i can also understand the loyalty of those in defence of the man of God. This is my position as a first hand observer. While I personally cannot defend the rationale behind owning 4 jets, I can say authoritatively that Oyedepo is a very prudent man. for instance, some of those jets are somewhat self financing. He operates a chartered air service under the name DOMIAIR. In other words, if you have the cash, any nairalander or church member can charter these jets for a fee. So tell me, if he owns 10 jets and they are self financing, don't you think that makes business sense? It's like buying and hiring out multiple okada to others. through this, you employ others and increase your own income level. If he were using them all by himself, then i submit that it is an obcene display of wealth. Someone else will question why he has founded businesses as a preacher. I cannot answer that question on his behalf but this much i can offer. Oyedepo has transformed and impacted the face of christianity globally. He has done what no one else has dared. That's what makes him a pioneer and an entrepreneur. His business sense exceeds that of most of our conventional businessmen. Dangote may be touted as Africa's richest man but we all experienced how he was scampering about the last time Sanusi harassed borrowers. He owed in billions without collateral. The depositors' moneys could have been lost had Sanusi not done that. Oyedepo has not borrowed a dime and keeps asking publicly for anyone he owes to come forward.

I also do not believe that over 100,000 worshippers are being defrauded by him. Abraham Lincoln said ''YOU CAN FOOL SOME OF THE PEOPLE ALL THE TIME. YOU CAN ALSO FOOL ALL OF THE PEOPLE SOME OF THE TIME BUT YOU CANNOT FOOL ALL OF THE PEOPLE ALL OF THE TIME'' These people are no fools and if there is some fraud, he would have been uncovered in his 30years of operation. when you enter Canaanland, you will open your mouth in awe and wonder where all these people (members) got their money from.  There are poor people there, yes, but there are thousands of quiet millionaires there too and many of them are business wizards who will not be fooled all the time. one of such prominent members is the MD of eTranzact (who by the way is a billionaire). i have seen Omotola (the actress) there a couple of times.

In conclusion, having observed him at close quarters, i know this man is a genuine man of God. However, he is also a human being who is susceptible to human error and misadvice just like you and I. I cannot begin to tell of my angry experiences as an employee over some of his policies but in all, I am grateful because I feed my family by working in one of his businesss establishments. And like every pioneer of a strange work, Oyedepo has seen his fair share of criticisms. The Jesus Christ we mentioned was attacked sorely and even killed in His days but today we all celebrate Him, Christians and Muslims alike. Pioneers experience terrible opposition in their days but their messages reverberate in generations following. Because Jesus' life was cut short (Just 3.5yrs) of operation, none of us can say that Jesus would not have bought a jet were He on earth today. The fact that people are poor does not say that someone else shouldn't ride a jet. How many of us that are critisizing him in this forum have decided to sell our houses and live outside (just because there are homeless people living under Oshodi bridge)? None I suppose. I will be glad to offer more insights on this subject (as an insider) if need be.

Methinks if we can look at Turai from another angle, we may come to appreciate a woman who stood by his man against the world even when he is not conscious enough to acknowledge it. Some other women i know would have taken off long time ago. I proposed to my wife (then just a friend) after i saw how she cared for me after i got fractures in my femur. I was jobless, broke and sick. she had a payed job. yet she was sleeping on the dirty hospital floor for weeks attending to my needs. My fiancee at the time (on whom i had spent my last kobo) just came in from a trip with an apple, an apple. and she left same day. But this woman (my wife) was there at my side for weeks. when i became well, i knew there was no other woman in the world for me but her. The world needs richer relationships characterized by loyalty and love rather than fun. Though i am not pleased with Turai holding 150million Nigerians to ransom because of her man, I put myself in her husband's shoes for a while and i discovered why the man gave her so much freedom to do as she pleases. A woman that is as dedicated to her man will have the world bow at her feet.

Mr. Dubber Dubber, Mmmm.

wow. this kidnapping business has become an industry now, like nollywood