₦airaland Forum

Don't laugh o.I saw them being placed on this very huge box with the word 'DISCIPLINE' inscribed on it.They would remain there until the couple perform the wedding ceremony again wearing clothes from 5000 BC.

texaco1: sorry but this part got me cracking and laughing

In other news just coming in,Rivers State Governor Rotimi Amaechi
has apologized to President Goodluck Jonathan for winning a free and fair NGF election.Don't worry nairalanders,I don't need to add a source to story.I heard it from a reliable drunk at a nearby beer parlour.

Scientist?He should examine one of those lions that are starving in our zoos all over the country,then he is a scientist,sorry,zoologist.ZOOLOGY IS NOT REALLY SCIENCE.

ochejoseph: While inspecting facilities at the Fed University President Goodluck Jonathan decides to use one of the Light microscope himself. Ahhh . I almost forgot he is a scientist .

If you had even mentioned "The Simpsons","South Park", "Family Guy" or "American Dad", then one would have considered this newsworthy.Mtscheww.

Why is there no venue in Lagos?How would one write a test on a workday in the afternoon?I don't understand these people.I NO GO RISK MY LIFE FOR THIS LEVEL OF UNCERTAINTY.

You should be able to recognise satire when you see it.I don't understand some nairalanders.

dubem3: Has the government started up a virgin girls factory?
Abi na ur pikin them wan give them?

The other option is to provide the 70 virgins here on earth to any terrorist who renounces violence.That should be part of the Amnesty program to BH.

DROP YOUR ARMS AND GET 70 VIRGINS(MALE OR FEMALE)

Office Etiquette Tips New Grads

Business etiquette can seem overwhelming when entering the workforce for the first time. Etiquette, or good manners, is a crucial skill you need to have in today’s business world in order to succeed. Mastering the art of being considerate in both your personal and business relationships can be the determining factor in getting a job, a promotion, or even the opportunity to be considered for such things.
Office Etiquette Tips For New Grads

If you have taken the time to learn these skills it reflects positively on you, your company and clients. The following are quick office etiquette tips that will walk you through the most basic and common etiquette situations you will experience as you start your career.

Personal Etiquette

Even though your mom always taught you, “Never judge a book by its cover,” that’s exactly what someone does when they see you for the first time. Whether you like it or not, people will make instant judgments within 10 seconds of meeting you and, most of the time, you haven’t even opened your mouth yet.

When meeting someone for the first time, always rise, smile, and look them in the eye. When shaking hands, have a firm grip but not too hard and only shake long enough for both of you to say your names. Do your best to repeat his or her name back within the conversation; this helps you remember and it shows respect to the other person. Stand up straight, do not slouch and walk with an air of confidence.

Cellphone Etiquette

Remember, you are an adult now. Crazy and silly ring tones may have worked while you are in college but now they can be a professional liability. Make sure your ringtone is professional and not offensive.

Cellphones have no place in meetings. It is extremely rude to take a call while in a meeting. If it is an emergency or you are expecting a crucial call, make sure to tell the attendees beforehand. Excuse yourself, make the call brief and then return to the meeting. If you need to leave your cellphone on the table, place it face down so you are not tempted to play with it or be distracted during the meeting.

Texting can be a great method of quick communication but it can also be extremely distracting and over-used. Never text during a meeting; or worse yet, during a conversation. You want all of your attention on the person you are with. Always use correct grammar and punctuation when you text. Using short hand is unprofessional.
E-mail Etiquette

Make sure your e-mail address is professional and recognizable and always have a subject line. Have a signature at the bottom with your name, business title, and contact information. You can also include a link to your website. Be careful of how you word things, and correct grammar and punctuation are expected.

Never use an e-mail to deliver bad news. Don’t berate anyone, gossip, or spread rumors through e-mail. Replying to all is very easy to do and cause major problems if someone sees something you don’t want them to. If the e-mail is going to be very long, add an attachment that the recipient can print off and read later. Keep your e-mails brief and professional.

Social Networking

Employers, potential employers, clients, and legal authorities are all using social media to learn more about their employees or people they do business with. This has caused people to lose jobs, opportunities, and business. Like it or not, it is a brave new world.

Never post something that you wouldn’t want splashed on the front page of the news paper. Once it is out there, whether it is a picture, story or comment, you can never get it back! Do not tag people in unflattering or unprofessional comments or pictures. Don’t get too personal on these sites and do not ever vent about your boss or job – not if you want to keep it that is.

People are attracted to those who are happy, smile often, and are confident in everything they do. Even if you are terrified inside, don’t let it show. If you are unsure of something, ask. Knowledge is power! Be calm, cool, and collected and you will be able to get through any situation you might find yourself in. Now, go out there and change the world!

http://www.careerealism.com/office-etiquette-tips-new-grads/

Let me see if this makes front page.

J.T. O'Donnell
Founder & CEO of CAREEREALISM.com | Creator & Coach at CareerHMO.com | Syndicated Author | Columnist | Blogger | Speaker


Providing salary requirements is a troubling part of the interview process for many job seekers. They don't want to:

A) Price themselves out of the job.

B) Come in too low and leave money on the table.

The solution? Offer a range.

First, Have a 'Walk-Away' Rate

Everyone needs to have a clear number in their mind. That number is the lowest possible amount you'd take to do the job. By that I mean, you'd accept and not be looking for a higher paying job, or have to take another part-time job to cover the bills. Your walk-away rate is what you need to live and be able to do the job without resentment. This varies for everyone.

Second, Have an 'Ideal' Rate

This is what you'd love to earn. It's what you think you are worth and want to make for the services you'll be providing. It should be based on salary research to ensure you aren't pricing yourself out of the market (you can do that at Salary.com, Payscale.com, and Glassdoor.com to name a few).

Next, Present the Range & Explain the Variation

Share with the employer you are looking to make between __ and __. Now, this range will be pretty wide, so you should immediately follow-up with something like this: "The reason the range is so broad is, for me, no two jobs are the same. Money isn't my only criteria for work. The benefits and opportunities for growing my skills are equally important in my mind. So, I'm willing to be flexible in my salary, depending upon the position."

Can't Give a Range? Be Conservative

If you can't give a range and have to provide a single salary, choose the middle of your range, maybe even a little bit lower. You'd rather be lower than their target rate than over it.

Afraid They'll Low-Ball You? Of Course They Will!

The most common question I get when I share the strategy above is,

"But J.T., won't they automatically assume they can give me the walk-away rate?"

No doubt, some companies will low-ball you. But remember, you don't have to accept it. Unless they were adamant that this was not negotiable, you could ask for more money.

Yes, You Can Negotiate. Here's Why...

If you knock the interview process out of the park and eventually get selected as their first choice for the job, you will be at a competitive advantage. They went through all the time and trouble to screen and interview other candidates. Hiring is at time-consuming and expensive process. The idea of not getting their first pick for the job because of pay is not what they want. They don't want to have to go back to the hiring process again - they want you!

Now, that doesn't mean you can ask for a 50% pay increase, but it should give you the confidence to speak up and ask for more if you need it.

This is What You Would Say:

"Thank you for choosing me for this role. I am very excited about joining your team. That being said, this is really hard for me, but I wanted to call you personally and share a challenge. While I could accept the job at this rate, it's on the low side of my income needs. I was really hoping for ____. This higher rate would ensure I could do this job without any concerns of covering my expenses. Additionally, if you could compensate me at that level I would make 100% certain that you felt you were getting every penny's worth. Would that be possible?"

Now, they may not say "yes," but at least they know you are looking to make more. You may even be able to negotiate for some other perks in exchange of the pay increase, like working from home one day/week to save money on your commute, or more vacation time. If you don't ask, you'll never know.

Three Examples of Success:

One professional got a $5,000 increase in base pay. The HR manager was so impressed with her confidence in asking for more money, she said, "It's good to see you know what you are worth."
One client didn't get a pay increase, but did get permission to bring her dog to the office.
Another convinced them to agree to a 6-month review to discuss a raise instead of waiting for a full year.

Don't let salary discussions intimidate you. Identify your range, wow them in the interview, and then politely ask for more if you need to. You are a business-of-one. Building your skills in salary negotiation are vital to your professional success.

http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130626145254-7668018-salary-requirements-what-to-say

Which one is 'first' partner interview again?Please, explain o.........Also those familiar with this 'benchmarking' brouhaha should let us know o...PHEW

Fortissimo: Hahaha see this man oh!
Well, after the manager interview is the 1st partner interview. They should get back to you within a week if your interview was successful. However, your subsequent interview may be scheduled a while after that. This depends on how urgently they are recruiting.

All the best

Faux Pas

Guys,the celebrities would rather give eulogies than drop that money.I wonder what all these celebrities do with all their money before they catch one ailment or the other.They squander it on lavish lifestyles and then seek help later.

I hope the current celebrities are saving for situations like this.

Tuesday May 29,3050 20:00

Alabukun Space Station, Lagos

Despite hiccups ranging from astronauts protesting over unpaid salaries to a director in the Ministry of Science and Technology diverting funds budgeted for rocket fuel,Nigeria would launch its inaugural manned space flight, Obatala 1 in a few hours.

Six astronauts from all the geopolitical zones of the country,the Senate President,five ministers and eight governors would be on board the two-stage rocket which was manufactured exclusively at Oluwachukwuemeka Defence Systems,Enugu.


There were initial scuffles between the ministers and governors over who would be on the inaugural flight as the National Space Agency had told the politicians that they needed months of zero-,gravity training to which some of them scoffed claiming they have been flying abroad for years without problems.

A special generator was donated by Mikano to prevent any problems from PHCN.Elated Nigerians hailed this development which put the country in the technological spotlight even though space travel have long been abandoned by many countries round the world.

Who cares?

If these clowns used the same vigour they are using to hunt down their perceived enemies to pursue infrastructural development and tackle youth unemployment,this country would have been way ahead of where it is now.

It is rather unfortunate that we have leaders whose only claim to authority is the victimization of others.THIS COUNTRY SHOULD BE PRIVATIZED.

I hope oil is discovered all over the country so these Niger Deltans stop rubbing the concept of 'I-don't-need-to-do-work-because-we-own-the-oil' in our faces.NA WETIN.

Kitty-Cat group?All this hypocrisy on Nairaland is just getting on my nerves.So the Russian punk group that protested in a church is now Kitty-Cat?The fact that the name of the group has one word whose meaning has been distorted to represent something vulgar does not mean it can't be written.P****** Riot is not a bad name.I TIRE FOR THIS FORUM O.

The man should be remanded in a GARRIson command for this act.Ha!

The Yaradua Chronicles Part II

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Richer than Burkina Faso and Ghana?What secondary school did you attend?This is an indictment of our educational system.Try reading dude,it helps.Serena's networth is not even close to a billion dollars.JEEZ.

COOLDUN: Victory , victory, victory, too much fame and wealth. This girl is richer than Burkina Faso and Ghana put together. I thank God for your life my dear. Carry go.

SHL?Stop confusing people.If you don't know the nature of the test you wrote,ask others.KPMG does not use SHL-based tests.It is GMAT-styled and that must have been indicated in your test invitation notice.

dabiko: Not as if it was simple but in all i thank GOD.It was shl format, 1hr for 50questions with an essay writing.

FUCKaholic

Probably used by wives to explain to their naive husbands what a 'hard on' is.Hee!

So the grand plan was to use a huge amount of rust to kill people?Even by terrorists standard,that is lame.

Awon Oloriburuku.

Welcome to the club.Ha!5 months since successful partner interview and 7 months since aptitude test.Just take your mind off it and your life is a lot easier.WHEN IT COMES,IT COMES.

Jesusbabygirl: Well,now I know KPMG's nickname is PATIENCE,I wrote my test in 1st week of March,was sent mail of being successful 2 working days later,now its June and no interview invite yet,tho I got their biweekly update twice,after which it stopped,well going thru dis thread now,I can see dat deres no cause for alarm.Tanx all

Those who have gone through the Accenture recruitment process in the past should provide useful information on this thread.Na beg I dey beg o.Thanks you for helping out.

I guess someone in the audience must have been singing 'Send down the FRAIL' and Majek Fashek showed up.He looks like an apparition.I feel sorry for him.

.

Finally......

What an ASStonishing story?