₦airaland Forum

Abee79: I proposed marriage to my wife over the phone because of the distance between us. yes, WITHOUT A RING. We've been HAPPILY married for three years....
*Lesson learnt: NO MATTER HOW GLAMOROUS A [WEDDING OR ENGAGEMENT] RING IS, AND REGARDLESS OF THE CIRCUMSTANCE(s) IN WHICH IT WAS PRESENTED, IT IS USELESS AND IMPORTENT WHERE LOVE IS NOT SUPPORTED WITH UNCOMPROMISING COMMITMENT TO MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP WORK

sexkillz: [color=#000030]It's over necessary sef. It show's the extent of your commitment to the said lady. Any proposal without a ring should be taken as a joke. More like ordinary hot air coming out his mouth like any other normal day. [/color]

2goodbobo: If you love him, then wait for him. Instead of you to pray for him and support him, you are here talking about other guys that are disturbing you. Who told you the grass is greener on the other side? Calm down and stop been desperate. The fact that he has seen your parents, shows he is serious.

Just because he failed twice does not mean he can not pass this time around. Believe in your Man and his ability. Encourage him in every possible way you can. But if you chose to do otherwise, then you are on your own.

Chrisbenogor: This is why I am always baffled by those that can make sense of these things.
Why not have the cherubim and the flaming sword there in the first place?
What did they mean by tree of life or tree of knowledge?

segzytemi: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2013/09/beware-of-these-banned-food-products/#sthash.u95Rgjqn.dpuf

jaymdee: That's not the only way to prepare stew. You can blend your ingredients with less water and fry. This takes about 20-30minutes.

bknight: Can pastors adeboye, oyakhilome, ashimolowo, adeyemi etc carry handheld public address system and go with legs preaching under d rain and sun on d streets in some remote village somewhere?

tomakint: The General Superintendent of the Deeper Life Bible Church, Pastor W.F Kumuyi, has always been known as the father of Jerry and John, two sons born to him by his wife, Abiodun, who sadly passed away a couple of years ago. The two young boys were quite unobtrusive in the church, and did not enjoy the privileges of the ‘sons of the pastor,’ as would have been the case in other places.

They sang in the children choir, later graduated into the youth choir, and were quite active there till they went abroad in search of the golden fleece. They came into their own, became professionals, and have been living in the United States of America for some time. Though not a member of the Deeper Life Bible Church in the strict sense of the word, I am fairly close to the ministry. I also know Pastor Kumuyi fairly well, since that time I first interviewed him as Features Editor of National Concord in 1996. Two pastors with the church, Segun Babatope and Eluem Emeka Izeze, are media top shots, and have always facilitated my meetings with Kumuyi.

When Abiodun was buried in April 2009, I was at the funeral service in the sprawling campground of the church in Ayobo, Lagos. I still clearly remember the tribute paid by the senior son, Jerry, to his departed mum. If there was a staid, sober family, groomed in the finest traditions of Christian puritanism, it was the Kumuyis.

A number of times, I had privately wondered how Jerry and John coped with life in ‘godless’ America, and also asked myself whether they would become preachers like their dad, a great apostle of holiness, if ever there was one. Jerry and John kept their low profile, inconspicuous lifestyle, and were great ambassadors of the church, and of their father, at least till June 15 this year, when the younger son decided to take a wife.

Yes, young men must marry, nothing incompatible with holiness in that, or is there? In getting married, Christians are urged not to be “unduly yoked together.” It simply means they should not go for someone that does not share their faith. John Kumuyi did not rebel against the heavenly vision.

He went for Love Odih, daughter of a thoroughbred, dyed-in- the- wool Deeper Life member and pastor. Her father had been State Overseer in Cross River State, and is now National Overseer of the church in Jamaica. Iron was surely set to sharpen iron, “ just as a friend sharpens the countenance of his friend.” The deed was done in Jamaica on June 15, but rather than be the quiet, solemn, subdued ceremony that the Deeper Life Church is known for, it has thrown up a whiff of controversy, leading to the suspension of Mr and Mrs Kumuyi as workers in the church.

At a time they should be savoring the conjugal bliss of marital life, they now have to worry about this fatwa of some sort, this Sword of Damocles hanging over their heads.

What were the ‘sins’ of the young Kumuyis? You know how Deeper Life conducts its weddings. No frills, no pomp, no ceremony. “Let your moderation be known to all men, the Lord is at hand.” No fitted, flowing wedding gowns, no bouquet of flowers, no wedding cake, no long bridal train, and nothing of the kind of wedding gown in which you see the breasts of the bride threatening to pop out and hit the officiating pastor in the face.

Not in Deeper Life. Never. Not when the Lord is at hand. And of course, no permed hair, no make- ups, no jewelry of any sort. That has been the tradition since Kumuyi started the church in the 1970s. And you didn’t think it was his son that was going to remove the ancient landmarks, no matter how long he had lived abroad. But see Love Odih in Jamaica on June 15. She pulled out all the stops, broke all the rules, and almost set the church on fire round the globe.

The new Mrs Kumuyi stepped out in a fitted wedding gown, with see through short sleeves, carried a bouquet of flowers, wore jewelry, and her face was made up.

Her relaxed hair was even partially uncovered in church. Pastor Kumuyi and his new wife, Esther, were there in their puritanical estate. Did they develop apoplexy on seeing the bride? Were they pleading the ‘blood of Jesus’ and asking for mercy? Did they feel like crawling under a table to hide? Well, the wedding held, and each went to his home. But the story did not end there. A mighty controversy broke out in Deeper Life Church, threatening to overshadow decades of holiness preaching by Kumuyi.

The wedding pictures hit the Internet, and it generated debates almost worldwide. Are there two sets of rules in Deeper Life, one for the members, and another for the ‘first family?’ If it had been the children of ‘lesser’ people, would they not have been sanctioned for flouting the practices of the church?

Will this rebellion go unpunished? Will Pastor Kumuyi bend the rules because his son was involved? When I first saw the wedding pictures online, I felt it was computer manipulation. No, this would not be the wedding of Kumuyi’s son, when the world had not yet ended, I told myself. But it turned out real. It was John and his bride, and no mistake.

Well, I am an old school Christian. I believe the old school is the real school. I subscribe to old time religion, it’s good enough for me. But I by no means condemn the new generation believers, as long as they hold on to the essentials of the faith- salvation through the shed blood of Jesus, holiness, righteousness and purity of life, heaven, hell, judgment- and so on. In essentials, unity, in non-essentials, liberty. For me, certain things constitute non-essentials to getting to heaven.

How you did your hair, or decided not to do it, how you painted your face, or decided not to paint it, how you carried your bouquet of flowers, or decided not to carry it, how long or short the sleeves of your dress was, and so on. But there is Christian moderation and modesty. If your heart had been truly circumcised through the new birth, there were certain things that would be unseemly, and naturally offensive to you. The word of God becomes a lamp to your feet, and a light to your path, and you want to obey implicitly. So I don’t split hairs over what anybody wears or doesn’t wear. If something has happened in your heart, it manifests on the outward. Simple. You can’t run with the hares and hunt with the hounds.

But this piece is not about me, it is about John Kumuyi and his bride, so let’s return to them. These are my concerns and posers, without necessarily condemning the newlyweds. Did they forget the children of whom they were?

Did they forget that the eyes of the world would be on them? Did they do right? Did they do wrong? Let’s check two scriptural passages germane to the issue at hand. Proverbs 22:28.”Remove not the ancient landmarks, which thy fathers have set.” 1 Peter 3, 3 and 4:”Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; “But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”

Kumuyi has preached the above with fervency all his life. He even weeps on the altar at times when he talks of how the modern church has watered down the word of God. Being members of Deeper Life Church, did John and Love do well to have attempted to remove the ancient landmarks accepted as fundamental by the church? You answer. Again, the church is known for not using adornment of any kind.

Was Love, daughter of a National Overseer right to have broken ranks, while she remained a member of the church? Did she commit a sin, or did she not? You answer. Yet again. Did Love wear the jewelry and make up her face only on wedding day? Did her father not know long before now that she wore jewelry? This time, let the father of the bride answer.

And did John not know that the outward appearance of his bride would cause ruckus in the church, and as son of the General Superintendent, it might not be expedient? John, please answer. But if Love was the one John loved, and she is truly regenerated, loves the Lord, but is not convinced that using adornment is a sin, should Kumuyi’s son not have followed his heart? If he had married someone who conformed in terms of external appearance, but was worse than the Devil inwardly, would that have been wise?

You answer. Questions, and more questions. Was the church right in suspending the new couple? Will Love now discard her earrings and pomade before being restored to membership? What if she does not, will she go to hell? What if John asks her to now conform, and she says no, does he then put her away?

We know there is no room for divorce in Christian marriage, “ For I hate putting away, says the Lord.” So, does he carry the cross of a disobedient wife for life? Or does he live with the guilty conscience of having repudiated what his father preached for decades? Or do they move to another church that does not frown at adornments and lively dressing?

Should they? Wouldn’t they be further breaking the hearts of their parents, and making them feel like failures? Is there sin in this entire matter? I don’t think so. But I don’t have the final say, God does. But is there disobedience, and some form of rebellion? I think there is. And “ rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.” 1 Samuel 15:23.

After their suspension was announced last weekend by the church, a letter of apology written by John and Love was equally read, in which they said they did not willfully break the rules of the church, and that their action was informed by the fact that they had lived abroad for some time, and were distracted by the cultural differences. Does this mean that there is a God for those who live in Nigeria, and another for those who live in other parts of the world? And does that God have different instructions for conduct, depending on the part of the world you lived in? I don’t understand.

Somebody help me. Now that the young Kumuyis have apologized, should they be forgiven? Some people say yes, others say no. To err is human, to forgive divine. But did they err in the first place? Yes, in the context of the church to which they belonged, they erred. But did they sin? You answer. I only know that the Good Book says “ he that knows what is right to do, and does not do it, to him it is a sin.” But then, what is right in this circumstance? Oh, these questions will not stop.

I have always wondered what will happen to Deeper Life after Kumuyi. I put the question to him one time in an interview. And he told me he would want the church to stay faithful to the holiness message, and to evangelism, after he has gone to his reward. But right before the eyes of the preacher, the goalpost is being shifted, the ancient landmark is being removed by no other than his own beloved son. What does this say of post-Kumuyi era? Or is it time for the church itself to begin to ‘loosen up’ and bend some of its own rules deemed anachronistic by the younger generation? Like I said earlier, I am old school, and it is good enough for me.

But what of those who think we are stuffy and archaic? If this has started happening right in the household of Kumuyi, will the current practices endure after him? Are we having a foretaste of the Deeper Life of the future? Will it be a better church, or will it amount to backsliding? I don’ t know the answer, maybe you do. I’m all ears.
- Femi Adesina

http://sunnewsonline.com/new/columns/the-dust-raised-by-kumuyis-son/

OLAADEGBU: Junk journalism. Who told them that the bride wore jewelries?

blackwall: Saka's mtn. I don port o

3kay945: what if the woman took in before the loss of jobs?


You bad small

iyatrustee: Just wondering what could be responsible for the increase in the birth of conjoined twins in nigeria? Used to be a rarity before.

dridowu: Though not married but i dnt believe in wearing it all d time because sincerity in marriage comes from the heart not from the ring.