Farfalla:


That's why the thread is still on Page 3.
If it were Nkechi, Adesuwa or Funke who had committed the crime, the curses, insults and swearing would be on Page 12.

I am happy we have a break from the usual mudslinging today. First thing I checked was her nationality. Then I heaved a sigh of relief.

Farfalla:


I know they have a thing against bankers and Nollywood actresses. Nurses too?

Bankers and actresses na for homebased.
Nurses na diapora based.

Girlyy:



Hi Poco, Hope you're fine?
Some months ago you said something about 'Aluminium' in underarm spray causing black underarms.

Please can you recommend any Aluminium-free spray?

You can also recommend exercises for the tummy. I hope to get dumbbells soon. Like you, one of my fears is getting a big tummy and I'm seeing the negative signs already.

Thank you as I await your response!

Hello Girlyy.

I am fine, thank you. How are you too?

- The only aluminum free deodorant I know is Essentials. Problem is that it doesn't hold well and it is not a spray. If you need a spray, it means you have to take your time to read the contents of every deodorant when next you shop. Some people are more prone to these pigmentation issues. So if you are not seeing any signs, you can continue with your regular deodorant.

- There are several exercises that target the core. But first I would advise you to reduce sugar, heavy eating and late night eating. You can read this for exercises and how to go about them https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/flat-stomach-workout#bicycle-crunches

You are welcome

RevenuesBoost:
There are many things I can do with my cassava flour.

I can decide to make fufu with it.

I'll soak it in water for a while, remember it was sun-dried, it needs to get soft again so it gives you the smoothness fufu gives when touched.

Place the pot on fire
Then keep stirimg it till it gets hard.

The joy in eating this, is that, it's odourless compared to some fufu.

This is how I make fufu. I am not good at pounding. But I stir well. I thought I am weird. Nice to see my teammate.

How did the chinchin taste?
Talk true o.

Nonexisting1:
For the first in my life, I really feel emotional for a Nigeria vaginarian girl. I wish her more comfort and especially the strength to hold on to life and to her sons. The death of that nigga is really bad and the timing is worth crying for after looking at the family he left behind. The wife seems like who depended heavily on her husband and it's good and bad at the same time. Bad because moving on and carrying on will be very difficult if something happens to the husband such as in this case. I pray that God, family, friends and neighbors be there for her and her sons any time they need them. Amen

Chochocho, she has a thriving event management business. @dopeevents007. Go patronise her, make she fit see money.

What she looks like is a woman who was well loved and didn't have to deal with a polygamous husband.

Yormie1884:
@pocohantas
Thanks for this post, I'm new here and it has really helped and encouraged me greatly.
I know this post is old, I hope u or anyone else that can assist would respond.
Plz aside payoneer, which other paying app I can use to receive payment ?
I'm yet to set up my profile on Upwork cos I'm still trying to equip myself more about email copy writing since its the niche I've decided to go into.
Now I needed to be sure a reliable payment account is up and ready before uploading profile and engaging in any transaction, Na so I say make i open Payoneer.
Omoh the app just dey show me shege wey I no understand.
I got to the receiving accounts part, na there wahala hook... I couldn't obtain further info on how to get the details, I no fit go front I no fit go back.

Valwezzy:


You can use geegpay, grey.co, and even ChipperCash

You are right.

Hello Yormie, thanks for the kind words. I am glad you find the thread helpful. Please register on Geegpay. 2) Create a virtual dollar account. 3) Go back to Upwork and add the dollar account. You can't move the dollar out of the virtual account. You can only convert to Naira and move to your Naira account.

Eunoiaa:


Simple. Not unfairly pushing the bulk of responsibilities to the other person, especially because they "ought to" do it and were made or created for it. Joint ownership of properties. Present parenting. "Sharing" in the experience of pregnancy. I mean, the husband being there during ante- and post-natal hospital visits and care. Say, electricity units got finished, and one of them was home, they reload a new unit and not wait until the other got home (unless they have an agreement otherwise) because "it's their duty." I could link articles to how healthy marriages are to avoid being long-winded.

Oh, and see, even the most what you described that I cut out, they are exactly how I understand a healthy marriage to be so I do not disagree with how you've put it (now).

Gender roles as in "this is what this person (usually) does in the marriage," is dandy. And they sometimes overlap.


Of course, it's not prostitution to want to have sex because someone has shown you love and you want to show how happy they make you feel, too.

The OP just made it all seem like some "you-must-stick-to-the-rule-or-this-must-happen" thing. It may be my opinion, but I don't think ultimatums like that are *healthy* for any marriage. It was so selfishly worded and insinuated that she has sex with him because he feeds her, so all the conclusions on the thread that's been drawn from it aren't so far-fetched. It read like a husband who has been doing something, but the moment it seems like he cannot comfortably shoulder her/the financial burdens in the home, then sex is out of the picture.

That account was even created newly and I think that was all she posted. But then, this is Nairaland. If a man posted same, I bet they would have made the sense out of his post, not minding the delivery. I simply made sense out of her post because I can't deny not getting her point.

Humans know what they are doing. They know what is healthy. They only choose not to do it.

Eunoiaa:


You agreed to "men being men, and women being women," or else, people will learn, but men being (major) providers and women bearing the bulk of non-financial labour, evidently, isn't beneficial (especially to women). It's the reality, but it's not a healthy arrangement. And there are plenty people who do not conform to that unhealthy set-up, hence my point. They are not being "men", and they are not being "women." Their marriages are working fine without "man bring money; woman bring body" and the whole shebang.

In reality, one person must do more of something. I won't go pressing calculator over every family expense, but given that I don't take up the major expenses, I already know he is doing more financially. Same way he knows he wouldn't be in the kitchen most times. Except we draw a timetable of who cooks and split every bill down to the last kobo.

The issue with this setup isn't the model itself as housewives ensure enough balance in a home to allow the man function effectively at work. The issue is always when one party doesn't know when and how to ease and appreciate their spouses.

I am sure I never said man should bring money and woman bring body, but I agree a woman wouldn't willfully lay with a husband that consistently doesn't provide. It is not prostitution, it is only normal people would go out of their way for you when you please and make life easier for them. It is the same reason husbands fulfill 1984 promises after a good sex or meal from their wives.

What does this mean, I'm honestly trying to understand? You mean a man who would carry a child to term and raise them with me being a 'provider' to him?

I am hoping you are the one to explain how these "healthy" people do it in Nigeria.

---

I believe in gender roles and I am sure you know this by now. It creates balance and accountability. This doesn't rule out both parties ensuring the home is running smoothly and kids are being attended to. I do know that if rice is finishing, I am the one to most likely notice first and if the gen is faulty, he would also notice first. After all, he is the one that would switch it on most.

If I prepare their lunchbox, he would bathe them and whoever is going in that direction would drop off.

You see I didn't use the words "masculine" and "feminine" because I don't see it from that angle. It is more of accountability to ensure smooth running of the home. We are a team, but even in a team, the striker won't randomly leave his position and go to the goalpost. Now imagine they don't have positions. Everybody just enter field and do the one you feel like doing that day.

Eunoiaa:


There have been successful marriages (or at least by the couples' definition) and there will continue to be successful marriages that do not run on this "a man is a man and a woman is a woman" stuff that y'all are prescribing sha. It doesn't even translate to real life where the lines of characters/personalities are blurred.

The fact that you that don't even believe a man should be an 100% provider is telling that you concede to compromises on the gender roles. They are not "fixed rules".

I don't believe a man should be a sole provider, but I believe he should be the major provider, given that we all know 80% of the time, the women handles childearing, nurturing and running the home alone! The only place I see most Nigerian men cook and clean with their wives is abroad and we all see how they complain and refuse to adapt.

Anything less, I don't recommend or practice. Goodluck on finding a man that would sometimes be a woman and allow you be the man.

inoki247:
Lol my own be say make the Dollar rise back since things no wan gri come down..

people earning in Dollar right now are at loss bkuz after converting money no go still reach....

I am not at loss. Anybody who has the interest of others and the country at heart wouldn't be excited that dollar was almost hitting N2000. I am only hoping the prices of good and services crashes in a month or less.

inoki247:

Lol things still bought at 1900 rate how can your 1100 rate meet up im talking from experience...

While things are expensive, I have noticed minimal decrease so far and hopefully it gets better.

descarado:

I love that a lot.
Actually, I will tell you the truth.
A lot of males here love and admire you. Some that are fighting you are simply those who fantasies to get a babe like you.
They rile you up cos they love the interactions whichever way it comes as long as they are interacting.
Just reminds me of a younger me and much older me at work having some black men under me.

Hahaha. I know right, because I wonder why they can't stay away from someone they claim to hate, that supposedly hates them too. I have decided to starve them of the interraction until they become submissive and respectful.

descarado:

Darling, I have no clue.
A friend watching it live on Instagram called to tell me.
Paramedics got to her fast and sprayed something on her to reduce the effect of the acid.

My friend was crying on the phone. Check Instagram.

That lady has been through a lot. I am short of words. Let me go check IG

descarado:

U know korra obidi?
Battling her life for survival now.
Acid poured on her by a masked white lady in uk with a knife.
What is going on?

Jeeeez. Korra? This happened?? ?

descarado:


You get mouth too much.

Na my work, mama.

poshestmina:


'Agunechemba' Generation of men!!!They want the glory without efforts.

They wanted "supportive wives that are not liabilities" ,women started leveling up to it.
Now they want "providers" that will be at the background except time to off pants.

If I buy motor for man ,he must pay Instablog and Gistlover to carry the news that his woman or wife bought it!

You sabi them. Who dey do that kind love with kwanu? Anything they want to talk, they should talk. I no kuku read am.

If these same guys dare know your husband is not living up to his responsibilities, they will troll you with it ehn. You go regret the day you voiced out such.

poshestmina:
Personally I'm a supportive partner but to be the provider for the 'head'(Good book and society says so) will never be my thing ,except inevent of ailments (this also depends on how he treated me/kids when the going was good).

A man is seen and known as the head of the family and get all the accolades regardless who provides ,he should take the responsibilities alongside the accolades.
Abi how many men ever came out to say "my wife fed and housed me for years"? But it's happening everywhere!!
I was once in a situation where I was the one footing the bills and I'll hand over money to him to 'pay' as Head of the house... These things happen but the woman hardly gets recognized!!!

A man that is not a provider or ready to be one has no business getting married and that's the truth.
If the man provides shelter ,I renew Dstv subscriptions and fill the gas .
Let the man pay School fees ,I'll happily pay for school bus ,PTA levies etc
Weekly/monthly allowance, I'll add mine when I get to the market or mall.
It's a 70/30 or 60/40 thing!

Providing and protecting his family will forever be a Man's responsibilities.
You don't want to provide but you want sex,and societal plaudits?
Akuko mary!!!
No be who pay the Piper dey dictate tune again?

They will even expect the wife to hide it.

You will hear things like, "I know one woman, she bought car, but you will think her husband is the owner. Very submissive woman."

You want the accolades without the work?
You are not getting it from me.

Proserpina:
As a man do not get married if you are not ready to provide.

It's as simple as that.

✅️✅️✅️✅️✅️✅️✅️✅️

Or marry your good women.

Ishilove:

So which kain yeye clickbait come be the title??

You suppose know as e dey go na.

Ishilove:

I know Lions kill themselves. I just have never come across a scenario where they went ahead and cannibalized a dead rival

They no chop am. They just want make e die well.

Ishilove:

As in ehn. Lions don't cannibalise themselves. What these ones did shows RAGE.

Lions kill themselves. But the title is misleading because they definitely didn't eat him. When you enter the territory of another pride or when they want to take over a lioness. They kill the cubs she had with a previous mate and give her their own belle.

Proserpina:
Are you praying to have severe injury or dementia or not being able to work?

It's funny how you can imagine the worst when the thread is about owning up to your responsibility.

When people come up with those scenarios on a basic topic, I just know they have been cornered. So if a man says he wants a wife that can cook, does it mean he doesn't know she can lose her hands? Nonsense analogy.

Proserpina:
I don read and hear gist tire. Let a man be a man and a woman a woman biko.

They will learn...

Proserpina:
Abi they should go for strong and independent women.
I no strong and my independence has a time frame I can't come and kill myself.

They know but won't accept it.

Toor! Na "hide my ID' dey end am.

Proserpina:
She shelve or she no shelve , the truth remains she's right.

If you can't provide, stay away from marriage. It's very simple.

The matter no hard. But there are women who do not mind marrying non-providers. They can marry those ones. Like I said, until providing women are not expected to hide it to protect their husbands dignity and men can boldly come out to say they don't provide, then we can have a discussion. Men know the truth, they only hate to hear it from women.

sheriffindy:
Cry cry baby


Take one hollandia in my name

As long as you believe the saying that the grass is not always greener on the other side

That is if you are hoping to meet grass on the other side. Some just want peace of mind and for a set that gets angry/counters when a woman implies all men are cheats, I wonder why you guys suddenly embrace same statement when a woman leaves her cheating husband. You seen to be the one crying. You will be fine. Goodnight...

sheriffindy:
If una like imitate us in everything

Doesn't change the fact that women can never ever equal to men.

Hope you run this same mouth with this frequency when you bump into a rat, wall gecko,cockroach. Una spontaneous reactions are priceless

No one is trying to imitate or be equal you. I wonder why some of your egos are always fragile and threatened. They only chose an STI free life. If that is being equal to you, then they are and you cannot do anything about it but rant on Nairaland.

EreluRoz:
Poco he's still alive, he's in the emergency section as posted by one of his colleague Uche Nnanna

I just went to check on IG. I do hope it is true!

bukatyne:
Funny thread.

If the OP suggests that more marriages are breaking up because women leave cheating husbands, one would expect that the men realise that they are the weapons fashioned against successful marriages in this case and clamour for change.

But no, they would twist and turn like
earthworms in salt to avoid accountability in this case and blame everything/ everyone but themselves.

Get used to it,more women would leave cheating husbands; if they decide to be side pieces to other married men is outside the scope of this discussion.

The fact I want to/ I have a vice doesn't mean I should tolerate it from someone else .

Hahahaha! Look at all the scare tactics and deflections. Never seen a set that hates accountability like Nigerian men. You want to normalise going out to cheat and bringing back home a manhood with another woman's fluids for your wife? Oh well, they claim there are reasonable women that understand men are WIRED like this. Mabel done run as she tire to treat infections. Goodluck to the reasonable women that would marry these NL men. I can't stop wishing them goodluck!

Omoluabi16:
I don't know why some folks up there are raising dust. She didn't say anything. Though the sex part could Easily be misunderstood, but she's also right on that.

Any small thing they start calling a woman olosho and liability. These set of men would drag you if they dare find out your husband is not a provider. We just love to argue open and shut cases.

1. A wife's role is to support not to provide.
2. She expects her husband to be a major provider.
3. She can't be sexually available for a non-provider husband.


Anyone arguing this is being unrealistic.

If men wanted women to be providers, they won't expect providing women to hide it from the public. Neither would they call women richer than their men, the HUSBAND. Tell me about "na she marry man keep for house".

We all know the truth. But let's argue...

Quote me when you are knacking your wife without providing as an able-bodied man.

✌️✌️✌️✌️