ThoniaSlim

Seems as if you needed the 50,000

Really joke of the day

Check thr Recycle bin. The joke? is surely there.

rickie4us:

NL people sef ,

What NL needs now is a vibrant chat services.

What kind of question is that?

;d ;d ;d :d :d :d :d

o

FALSE.

In every man, a child is hidden waiting to play.

Kunbee One more thing - never assume the worst. Try give a benefit of doubt until proven wrong. Don't know if you play chess.

Its like we are both on "nairaland stage". U did'nt you spill the beans?

What's ok? U or the joke?

Ha! Would that not damage your tender? lips?

bilms:

Islam teaches love and peace,

so be rest assured that d suicide bomber shall truely be heros

but heros in hell fire.

so enjoy d joke

I am pacified. U are free - go in peace.

kartchmond:

I need a prety mature

Sorry. we're out of stock. Only octogenarians are available.

Kunbee Since you love lipstick. . .

A crafty man brough home three bananas for his three children, but they offered him one, while agreeing to share the other two between themselves.

But the fathers objected, saying that it would not be fair to accept one whole banana, and, instead, asked each of them to give him half.

He ended up eating one and half!

Of course! You are a laddy and not a lady. Probably an impostor too

No serious man will present himself to a "faceless" woman

Rokiatu Pepper body

Aysh-Ah

Be comforted with the fact that when you get old, you definitely will not go to paradise.

Saw this joke on the net.

A dad walks into a market with his young son. The kid is holding a coin.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking and gasping for breath. The dad realizes the boy has swallowed the coin and starts panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at a Tea stall in the market reading her newspaper and sipping a cup of Tea.

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her tea cup down on the saucer, neatly folds the newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the market.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze, gently at first and then ever more firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the coin, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy, she hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the Tea stall without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"

"No," the woman replied, "I work for the Income Tax Department."

Saw this joke on te net.

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through --

So he prayed:

"Dear Lord:
I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.
I want her to know what I go through.
So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen!"

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate,
Awakened the kids,
Set out their school clothes,
Fed them breakfast,
Packed their lunches,
Drove them to school,
Went grocery shopping,
Then drove home to put away the groceries,
Then, it was already 01 P.M.

And he hurried to make the beds,
Do the laundry, vacuum,
Dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids
And got into an argument with them on the way home.
And got the kids organized to do their homework.
Then, set up the ironing board
And watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes
And washing vegetables for salad,
Breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper,
He cleaned the kitchen,
Ran the dishwasher,
Folded laundry,
Bathed the kids,
And put them to bed.

At 09 P.M .
He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished,
He went to bed where he was expected to make love,
Which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning,
He awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: -
'Lord, I don't know what I was thinking.
I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day.
Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back. Amen!'

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:
'My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
But You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.'

MEN n WOMEN!!!!!!!

Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.

2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.

3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.

4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one Around.

5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their Luck with others.

6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off If the women leaves them.

7. Although the women leaves them they still don't learn from their Mistakes and still try their luck with others.


Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.

2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive Clothes.

3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something To wear.

4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress Beautifully.

5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "An old rag".

6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still Expect you to compliment them.

7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't Believe you

The problems of "HE" and "SHE"

The problems with "HE" as thought by "SHE"


If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.


If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
If u Don't, he says u are from VILLAGE.


If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN ;
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS .


If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.


If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love him! , he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)


If u don't MAKE LOVE with him., he says u DON'T LOVE him;
If u DO!! He says u are CHEAP.


If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u DON'T, he says that u don't TRUST him.


If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.


If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.


If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.


If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
If he does WELL, it's BRAIN.


If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!

Pls call on my zain. The glo network is very poor at my location in Lagos.

We need to discuss. Will you call me when you are available? Do you still have my #?