The Amaka Your definition of LOVE is interesting, coming from a lady.

She must be a cripple!

There is nothing to read, but wait 15 seconds and see below.

He sure made a fool of himself. Funny story.

You should have added that he was using an ear piece.

Haba! Not at all. You shoud be able to vouch for me.

You were online for a very long time last night. Researching on something?

Please what does these mean? Could he really have lied to me about his brother or what? He sounded or sounds like a good married family man.

It seems like water has passed under the bridge.

Dyt:

D point is daddies r always screwin dere sec

Some daddies

Disconnecting my modem could not even help!!!

Ta ta

Don't agree that there are celebrities on NL. However there is a funny trend of a high % of replies to female members with pretty pics, even when the posts are senseless!

lysaa:

perv!

Yes. Really a pervert & time-waster too.

Officerricky:

Stale! Stinks! Nonsense!

You can NEVER pass TOEFL

As usual. Forgive me if it's stale (Kunbee take note).

A little girl asked her mother if it was possible to take apart human body parts, just as with toys. Her mother said no, and asked her why she thoughts so.

The little girl replied that she heard her dad telling someone on the phone that, he screwed the asss off his secretary.

Interesting

Tanx

Can't imagine what his sister looks like!

Suit Yourself

Pls forgive me if these jokes are old. I've just seen them:

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife ,"You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station:
BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets,
BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole,
BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.
"From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to strip unclothed. When I say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed.
And when I say BELL 3, we are going to make love all night." The next night he came home from work and yelled, "BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off. When he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed.
When he yelled "BELL 3!", they began making love. After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!" "What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband? "ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied, "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE."
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A dentist's patient was grumbling about the fee. "Two hundred rupees for pulling out a tooth!," she exclaimed. "And it's only a minute's work." "Well, if you wish," the dentist said, "I'll pull it out slowly."

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Embarrassing Moments
"A mother was taking a shower when her2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so she ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that she had copies made and included one with each of their Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting that she take a closer look. Puzzled, the mother stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to her son, she had captured her reflection in the mirror n.a.k.e.d!"

A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off - it dies from starvation!

A crocodile always grows new teeth to replace the old teeth!

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second!

A lump of pure gold the size of a matchbox can be flattened into a sheet the size of a tennis court!

Apples are more efficient than caffeine in keeping people awake in the mornings!

Dogs and cats, like humans, are either right or left handed, or is that paws?!

Human teeth are almost as hard as rocks!

Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete!

Most lipstick contains fish scales!

Over 2500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people!

Smelling bananas and/or green apples (smelling, not eating) can help you lose weight!

The electric chair was invented by a dentist!

The opposite sides of a dice cube always add up to seven!

The placement of a donkey's eyes in its head enables it to see all four feet at all times!

A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

A rat can last longer without water than a camel.

A rhinoceros' horn is made of compacted hair.

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Computer Abbreviations

PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

DOS: Defective Operating System

IBM: I Blame Microsoft

OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too.

WWW: World Wide Wait

COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

I picked these jokes on wattpad.

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the,
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.


On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?" he asked.
"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."


A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.


Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.


Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?"
Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?


A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

A man known to be a great liar, took his son on a fishing trip with intention to teach him how to lie. As the father was sewing the net in the canoe, the needle slipped out of his fingers and sank in the river, he exclaimed, "Oh! The needle just dropped into the river". His son replied that he heard the splash of the needle.

A little while later, a big fish briefly jumped out of the water and back into the sea, and the father said, "See that big fish!". His son replied that the fish has an oily taste in his mouth. The father said, "Ha! We better get back before you put us in trouble!"