An old man sitting at the mall watched a teenager intently.

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.

The old man kept staring at him.

When the teenager was tired of being stared at, he sarcastically asked, “What’s the matter, old man? Never did anything wild in your life?”

The old man did not bat an eye when he responded, “I got drunk once and had sex with a peacock.

I was just wondering if you were my son.”

Here is more for you.

Here are some weird pictures for you curious people.

There are 3 singers singing in a pub. Shaggy, Craig David and Britany Spears.

Somebody farted and Shaggy goes: IT WASNT ME

Craig said: I'M WALKING AWAY

and britany said: OOPS I DID IT AGAIN

and the next day somebody farted agin and shaggy said: IT WASNT ME

Craig said: I'M WALKING AWAY

and Britany said: STRONGER THAN YESTERDAY!!!!

One morning the Pope awoke in his bedchamber in the Vatican. To his surprise, he noticed that he had woken up with a massive erection. Perplexed, he called on his personal physician.

"Doctor, this should not be possible," he said, "I'm the Pope, and I'm celibate! I haven't had one of these for 50 years!"

The doctor's reply was, "Well, father, this is a natural phenomenon for all men, and it will happen even to you from time to time". The Pope exclaimed "But you must do something about this! I have mass in an hour, and this thing isn't going away!"

The doctor replied "You have two options, either I can administer an injection to your peniss to make the problem go away, which will hurt and make you feel ill, or you can just quietly go into the toilet over there and relieve yourself."

Fearing the injection, the Pope elects the second option. Unbeknownst to him, a paparazzi photographer has sneaked into the Vatican, and just as the Pope reaches that point of no return, up pops the photographer and begins snapping away.

The Pope immediately summons his security guards, who arrest the photographer, and begin to beat him up. The paparazzo shouts out, "Hey, I thought you were a Christian organization! What has happened to your forgiveness?"

Upon reflection, the pope agrees with the photographer, and relents, saying "Yes, my son, you are right, we shall release you. Unfortunately, we cannot return your camera, as we cannot allow the scandal of what is contained on the film to be seen in the outside world."

The photographer replies, "But this is how I make my living! If you take my camera, I'll lose the money I could have sold the photographs for!"

The Pope, feeling guilty, agrees. "Very well, we will compensate you. How about $100,000?"

Ecstatic, the man agrees, and is soon on his way. The Pope, meanwhile attends confession, and the whole story comes out. For his penance, he is therefore ordered to walk three times around St. Peter's, with the offending camera around his neck.

Out on his walk, he meets a Japanese tourist:

"Very nice Japanese camera you got there, Mr. Pope," says the man, "how much you pay for it?"

"Being the Pope, I cannot tell a lie," he replies, "I must confess that I paid $100,000 for it."

"Ah," says the Japanese gentleman, "look like someone saw you coming!"

After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Osama is still alive", Osama himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Kennedy opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message: 370HSSV-0773H.

Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.

With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps Intelligence for help. Within a few seconds the Marines cabled back with this reply: "Tell Kennedy he's holding the message upside down."

Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance

Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy

Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair

Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage

Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profits

Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production

Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion

Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = Overtime

A man will pay $2.00 for a $1.00 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1.00 for a $2.00 item that she does not need.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man, you must love him a little and understand him a lot.

To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate overnight.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting she won't change, but she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

A guy goes in a bar and gets really drunk and starts to walk home. Every 2 steps he falls.

So he is 2 steps away from his doorway and he falls in. Then he tries to walk up the stairs quietly and get in bed.

In the morning his wife gets up before him and says "Were you drinking lastnight?"

He asks, "how did you know?"

She says "you left your wheelchair at the bar"

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, idiots dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ,

Now read without the word dog.

Little Veronica got her first period. Confused and frightened, she decided to ask her pal, Little Johnny, if he could figure out what was going on down there.

So she pulled down her pants and pointed to her crotch. Johnny became serious and said: "You know, I'm not a doctor, but it looks to me like someone just ripped your balls off!"

See pictures below.

Peacettw I agree with you completely.

To attract handsome men, ladies have to ignore them, while having a pleasant disposition.

You should never load credit when your modem is connected.

[center]"Dyt and Stadium pls drop your email addys cos i wanna send my wedding iv of me and my sweet sext Tayo"[/center]

I'm happy for you, to have found true love.

Lolajoy:

Hi Kunbee,thanks for defending me while I was away.You are the best

Guardian Angel Could you share where you were "away" to. Just curious.

lbotus:

she is pregnant again for studio

Haba! If I count correctly, that should be the eleventh child (all girls ). We are next door neighbours.

Maybe this one will be a boy.

Kunbee:

Fanks

Fanks or Fangs?

Husband and wife - always together (Studio and Dyt)

Their posts are always simultaneously.

Ha ha ha. He heee heeee. Na wa! I really had a good laugh.

Kunbee Report Studio to Dyt.

They are husband and wife.

Check their posts - they never attack each other.

If what you say is true, I deduce that your "husband" must be Studio43.

Thank you o ja re. Studion na bad belle

I'm relieved to hear that. May I ask if your husband reads your posts of NL?

papine:

@studio is not about importing other people's joke 2 nairaland all 4 d sake of laffter,im jus real .9ja boy 2 d fullest

I totally agree with you. The thread is really amusing.

Don't mind Studio, maybe the "dried groundnut" he ate when he was a kid (as reported), has not yet been flushed out of his system.

Dyt:

men=death

I wonder if you can stay with a man under the same roof.

because it's kunbee; let me contribute

Ben-10 Wetin you mean? I beg, she try.

Can't please every body.

Ko si ogbon to le da, ko si iwa to le hun, ko si ona to le mo, to le fi te aye lo run.

I think she is Jekyl, while you are Dr. Hyde.

Ben-10 You are a great encourager. I guess that's why you're a moderator.

First joke is really funny, but the second is a bit stale