₦airaland Forum

Relocate that's the solution,if u are leaving in ekpe relocate to ikorodu abi agbara,atleast before they come they will call to know if u are around

Asquare84:
Op your case is even better that your wife is bringing something to the table, as I type this I am the soul provider for the family, I mean even common salt I buy, wife doesn't do anything thing as I am typing this her younger brother who is managing with a salary of 30k impregnate a lady and she was operated through CS, her mom on hearing this came to my house with two of her children age 14 and 9. Not minding the ungrateful wife that I will give money to stock foodstuffs she will be complaining money is not enough yet she will not provide anything, she nagg alot and no respect for me. It very wrong to Marry from a poor family background.

I feel ur pain. Lord is ur strength

Collinsaik:
Change ur mentality op . stop seeing ur family menbers around u as people who are there to consume your food. food is nothing op. am nt sure u even lov ur wife. do u knw that these are family menbres, and that you wil not always have them around you. be wise op, think like a matured man.

Some things that we couldn't live with for a month, I don't know why we like to project it on others. Did you read the part where he mentioned his wife's salary? That kind of income is not enough to sustain 3 member family plus 8 other parasites. Their kid is not yet enrolled in school!

The title should have been "You are tired of your in-laws" not your marriage.

Anyways, back to the issue at hand. My advice to you is to seat your wife down and have heart to heart talk with her. Let her see things the way you are seeing it. If anyone will talk to your in-laws about their regular visit to your house, it can't be you. It will be your wife or someone from their end who is close to them. And when they finally reduce their visit, you and your wife will still need to assist them in one way or the other. Either by giving them little money monthly or there about. The truth is that you can't cut them off totally like that. Even if you relocate, you and your wife will still have to assist them. They are part of your family and your family are also part of them. Like they say in Yoruba "o ti ri oko ikun nile, ko to gbin epa si". All these didn't just start now, you should have seen the preamble during your courtship. Only that many were always blind in relationships, but marriage is an eye opener.

So talk with your wife, work harder and pray for God's blessing. Shalom.

the simple solution is to relocate

generalwo:
....... Bros I no go blame you for your actions but for once out yourself in your wife's shoes..... Just imagine she wrote such a thing about you or was telling her friend about your family in this manner and you overheard her, how will it make you feel..... I'm not saying what they are doing is justified but common, calling them names all because they come to your place to eat is inhuman..... Na this same food other people dey throw way because them no see who chop am...... They are down today doesn't mean they will stay down forever..... You may need their help someday....... I suggest you talk to your wife about your concerns like a real man..... Thank God you said she's supportive, which means she'll most likely be understanding too....... Sit her down, make it look like you're seeking her advice..... Tell her your concerns and let her know the issue is draining you psychologically. .... No be quarrel, no be fight...... If e easy for them, them for no dey come your house come chop....... Calling them gluttons and battalions or whatever doesn't make sense....... And do be honest with you, I am disappointed at you..... Because of food bros u say you Don tire for marriage? What happened to for better for worse? When you were dating her, didn't you know her parents were not wealthy and that something of this nature can occur? Men sha...

It is easy to criticise. Can you condone this inconsiderate self centred attitude from your own in laws with a meagre income?

Or because he has married now, he should forego his privacy just to please his wife's bothersome family? Will you tolerate that?

AuroraB:
He's not seeing the bigger picture
Na him food matters most to him for now. Calling his in-laws poor

He buys the food with money!

ABANGWABOI:
My Guy say em dn tire to feed battalions


All I see is a Weakling.. you got no nerve, ball or steel..
Na only Wail you go wail..
I just learn something new now..
If I must marry a girl from a football team home, she must be the last or second to last child.. not among the first 3 ..
Cos.. em younger ones go wn dey come my house.. lol

You never jam agbaya big Bros and sis wey younger siblings are responsible for

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

one of the reason i relocated away from the town my wife parent resides. Would have been facing this same problem . Despite the short distance, they don't mind coming. Had to discuss with mg wife the issue of privacy and the reason why her family had to respect it. Worked out for me.

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

This seems to describe my family while growing up, anyway God provided us with a kind in-law who too care of all us. Later he was blessed with so much wealth, Op do your best and trust God for the future. I am the 9th child (pharmacist) in my family.

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

Oh.. baby so this how you talk shit about my family on nairaland.. I'm highly disappointed in you, it's me your wife..

Bros, you need to man up. When she is done child bearing, tell her to find something that she will be doing. You don't need to collect money from her but this will reduce the money she is collecting from you. About her family, the best thing to do is to move far away where her family can't easily come to your house. You can even move to another city.
I loved that gurl who I was dating few years ago but I dropped her when she invited me to her house. I don't shame, but i have not entered that kind of house in my entire life. They were in first grade poverty but she is absolutely beautiful and her packaging was second to none. She is the first born with 6 boys. Omo, i japa. It's not that I can't shoulder that kind of responsibility but i may not achieve what I want to achieve in life. No matter how rich you are, if you are surrounded with poor people, you are also poor. They can even plan someone downfall, kidnap or kill someone.

Asquare84:
Op your case is even better that your wife is bringing something to the table, as I type this I am the soul provider for the family, I mean even common salt I buy, wife doesn't do anything thing as I am typing this her younger brother who is managing with a salary of 30k impregnate a lady and she was operated through CS, her mom on hearing this came to my house with two of her children age 14 and 9. Not minding the ungrateful wife that I will give money to stock foodstuffs she will be complaining money is not enough yet she will not provide anything, she nagg alot and no respect for me. It very wrong to Marry from a poor family background.

Sorry it's not so much of the status her family, you married a bad wife !

Asquare84:
Op your case is even better that your wife is bringing something to the table, as I type this I am the soul provider for the family, I mean even common salt I buy, wife doesn't do anything thing as I am typing this her younger brother who is managing with a salary of 30k impregnate a lady and she was operated through CS, her mom on hearing this came to my house with two of her children age 14 and 9. Not minding the ungrateful wife that I will give money to stock foodstuffs she will be complaining money is not enough yet she will not provide anything, she nagg alot and no respect for me. It very wrong to Marry from a poor family background.

membranus:
It is easy to criticise. Can you condone this inconsiderate self centred attitude from your own in laws with a meagre income?

Or because he has married now, he should forego his privacy just to please his wife's bothersome family? Will you tolerate that?

... . I used to earn N13k back in the days as a school teacher and my gf was with me for a year in my 2 bedroom and one living room apartment.... Her 4 younger siblings were with me for a whole year..... The only thing I didn't pay for them was school fees.. Feeding, clothing and medicine all me...... Reason we broke up was when I found out that 2 of the kids inside were her biological kids and their father was a dreaded cultist and he called me several times to release his kids or he will report me to the police that I kidnapped his kids...... I'm not saying what they are doing is appropriate but all I'm saying is that he should place himself in the woman's shoes..... If he sees or hear her telling such a story and using such remarks about his family, will he feel great? There are better ways to resolve the issue...... People who HVe stayed married for long have seen much worse and they stormed through it..... I don't subscribe to the idea of calling off the marriage because of his food his inlaws are eating.... It doesn't sound right to me..... U don't expect the woman to turn down her family when she's more or less like a bread winner to them...... Whether we like it or yes, she's still loyal to her family to a great extent....

Sorry u married from an elephants family member ni? let your wife face the consequences a bits give her a budget and if she exusted the budget before due time let her use her savings to cover up the remaining days for the budgets... From experience...

Slimdan360:
Stop being a selfish and stingy person,the more u give,the greater u receive,know this and know peace

lies. We are living in a crazy and abnormal situations these days. Someone has to be reasonable about spending . I am very sure the day he'll go broke. You won't see any one of them again

Since your wife is a good one, discuss with her. Pick a capital project with a time frame and carry her along, the situation will control it's self. It will force her to them to minimize their parasitic ventures.

authority2006:
Hehe, different responses.
If some people are throwing food away because they don't have people who will help them eat it, does that mean Op should work himself to death or leave from hands to mouth just because he has battalions of hungry in-laws?
And For better for worse, really? Nigeria is hard for for a young couple with one kid to be feeding 8 in laws join together.

..... That's why it's necessary for him to sit his wife down and talk things over with her.... Not calling her family members names and even nursing the thought of divorce because of food.... Till now e still dey shock me.....

MOVE FAR AWAY FROM THEM then your problem will be 80% solve

generalwo:
... . I used to earn N13k back in the days as a school teacher and my gf was with me for a year in my 2 bedroom and one living room apartment.... Her 4 younger siblings were with me for a whole year..... The only thing I didn't pay for them was school fees.. Feeding, clothing and medicine all me...... Reason we broke up was when I found out that 2 of the kids inside were her biological kids and their father was a dreaded cultist and he called me several times to release his kids or he will report me to the police that I kidnapped his kids...... I'm not saying what they are doing is appropriate but all I'm saying is that he should place himself in the woman's shoes..... If he sees or hear her telling such a story and using such remarks about his family, will he feel great? There are better ways to resolve the issue...... People who HVe stayed married for long have seen much worse and they stormed through it..... I don't subscribe to the idea of calling off the marriage because of his food his inlaws are eating.... It doesn't sound right to me..... U don't expect the woman to turn down her family when she's more or less like a bread winner to them...... Whether we like it or yes, she's still loyal to her family to a great extent....

u tried bros ooo, 13k feeding 3people ? Your name na Good Samaritan...

akpunda86:
Bros I feel u. Really feel u. I hope ur wife no be from mbaise. They behave like hausa people. Boy earlier you spark better for u.
Your experience just like mine. I regretted paying for a 2 bedroom apartment. My family nvr and uptill now never come they come and greet and go that's how we grew up but my wife family a pain in my neck worst no dey work sisters go come Lagos carry friends my house became a base for mbaise ppl.
Everyday na cook some go come stay months.

Well my rent expired I took a smaller house just a room and palor I don't need Xtra room cos my firm gave me an apartment I hardly use still no stop .
.I stopped buying food in bulk all exhausted not even nepa token. A whole complete year my wife almost starved I don't give a damn but baby food and others was never issue cos she taught I buy on credit a supermarket gives any baby stuff only she needs.
She started hiding cooked food. She cried and cried and said I'm maltreating her I told her na she dey do me. Like she sent d message they all disappeared.
Urs better wife working cos mine doing noting but once people cum my freezer goes down.

Sorry to say for me mbaise ppl just dey do like hausa ppl

What did you know about Hausa people? I bet you do t even k ow who are the Hausas...

Asquare84:
Op your case is even better that your wife is bringing something to the table, as I type this I am the soul provider for the family, I mean even common salt I buy, wife doesn't do anything thing as I am typing this her younger brother who is managing with a salary of 30k impregnate a lady and she was operated through CS, her mom on hearing this came to my house with two of her children age 14 and 9. Not minding the ungrateful wife that I will give money to stock foodstuffs she will be complaining money is not enough yet she will not provide anything, she nagg alot and no respect for me. It very wrong to Marry from a poor family background.

I feel your pain. Marrying from a very poor background with your wife having so many siblings is a disaster .

okoroemeka:
poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you.

It was easy for you because they visited occasionally which is different from what op is saying. if your in-laws storm your house almost on daily basis to eat nsala and catfish, I am very sure that if you don't complain about the money, you will definitely complain of your time and energy used in preparing the nsala and catfish.

yoged:
lies. We are living in a crazy and abnormal situations these days. Someone has to be reasonable about spending . I am very sure the day he'll go broke. You won't see any one of them again

if they are not going to blame him for mismanagement of fund... Once in a while is accepted but turning ur house to operations feed the family is not acceptable...

Asquare84:
Op your case is even better that your wife is bringing something to the table, as I type this I am the soul provider for the family, I mean even common salt I buy, wife doesn't do anything thing as I am typing this her younger brother who is managing with a salary of 30k impregnate a lady and she was operated through CS, her mom on hearing this came to my house with two of her children age 14 and 9. Not minding the ungrateful wife that I will give money to stock foodstuffs she will be complaining money is not enough yet she will not provide anything, she nagg alot and no respect for me. It very wrong to Marry from a poor family background.

Baba, na heavy cross you carry oh. May God help you

Asquare84:
Op your case is even better that your wife is bringing something to the table, as I type this I am the soul provider for the family, I mean even common salt I buy, wife doesn't do anything thing as I am typing this her younger brother who is managing with a salary of 30k impregnate a lady and she was operated through CS, her mom on hearing this came to my house with two of her children age 14 and 9. Not minding the ungrateful wife that I will give money to stock foodstuffs she will be complaining money is not enough yet she will not provide anything, she nagg alot and no respect for me. It very wrong to Marry from a poor family background.

May God help you through. This is one of the reasons some men cheat or end up marrying more than one. Frustrated by the woman you are doing everything to provide for

Yankee101:
If you cannot afford to open your house to feed a few extra mouths it's poverty my guy

Even in some Nigerian farming villages you can still walk in unannounced and get fed

It's irresponsibility for you to be jumping from house to house because of food. Be it your sister's house.

I just hope you don't fall into that irresponsible category.

You that want to pass your long throat burden to another man, should go and work, so you can feed yourself and family too.

Throwing the word "poverty" at someone who has provided for the needs of his family but is uncomfortable with external excesses and gluttony , is wrong and reckless.

People should stop being burdens to others.

Proverbs 23:2 says And put a knife to thy throat, if thou be a man given to appetite.


It's not Poverty, it's gluttony. Those jumping at people's pot of food, should pray that they be blessed and be able to comfortably feed themselves and others.

Blackmailing people because you want them to feed you is plain stupid in all ramifications.

Not Poverty.

Slimdan360:
Stop being a selfish and stingy person,the more u give,the greater u receive,know this and know peace

One of the few sensible posts here. Op is a senseless myopic shallow-minded selfish bastard! What if he was the one born into his wife's family?! Did he choose to be born into his family of 3? Giver's hand always on Top, not op.

Anytime they come again, just leav the home . If you do this for like 3 times , they would understand. But before it leads to that , first an to your wife to stop her people from raiding u

Is she from Benue?

You need to wage war against poverty.
That is the real problem.

China Achebe said in his book that when kinsmen visit at night, it is not because they cannot see the moon in their own compound.

Ask God to enlarge your coast and then work towards it.

Food is too small to cause this kind of frustration.

Arrahman39:
u tried bros ooo, 13k feeding 3people ? Your name na Good Samaritan...

......baba what to do...... Love Don deal with me severely but last last we all go dey alright.....