₦airaland Forum

Ninobraw:
I am a guy of 29 years old and she's 24 years old. She is a nurse and she is working and earning good salary. We have been dating for the past 3 years, ever since she came into my life things have been moving forward. Between the space of three years I was able to buy a land and build two flat (almost completed) and also buy a nice car. All this was possible because she was in my life. She assisted me with the money she accumulated before she met me, (2 million naira) gave it to me to add it to the money I was using to build the house, she has really been the best thing that has happened to me. We both have never cheated on each other, I'm very happy having her in my life. During the period of covid 19 my business was shut down totally she was the one that sustained me Althrough and never complained.

She later resigned from her nursing work and started her own chemist shop, I supported her with 300k she rejected it and asked me to add it to the money for house project. She is making some good money from her store any way.

Now we plan to do our marriage by December and I budgeted more than 1 million naira.
the problem is that she insisted that it is too much that I should not spend more than 500k that's been a problem to us but later settle it. because she won't just listen to me she wants me to spend less than that the reason why I wanted to spend more than 1 million Naira was because she deserves it.

So because of that we adjusted the marriage to three months time since it's just 500k I am spending now my question is can I spend 500k for a moderate marriage? And I wanted to do something tangible for her because she deserve more than everything I have, please what other things can I do for her that will be equivalent to everything she has done for me.

Since we have been dating she has never asked me for big money and also when ever I give her she always tells me that she gat money that no need to give her, in fact she love me so much that she don't even accept money from me unless gift. Now I want to do something tangible for her because since I have been dating her she doesn't allow me spent on her that much, and she doesn't complain.

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

Slimdan360:
Stop being a selfish and stingy person,the more u give,the greater u receive,know this and know peace

Elvisgolden:
Your wife is not cheating on you

Your wife is not nagging or troublesome

Your wife is very generous and open hearted with you

Your wife is hardworking.....

And yet you choose to be immatured because of food.......Because you are yet to talk to your understandable wife, yet you are here complaining on social media

You choose to be tired of a loving marriage and wife because of food you have the capacity to buy......

You choose to label your in-laws as gluttons....and worse still your father/mother in law which are relatively your parents because of food


May God have Mercy on your soul..........

If you are wise, you are supposed to be thanking God for the ability to feed others

If you are wise, you are supposed to be telling God to increase your financial capabilities so as to be able to do this assignment..........we rise by lifting others

You are supposed to be thanking God for a peaceful, caring and understanding wife....

okoroemeka:
poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you.

okoroemeka:
poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you.

Xenry:
This is what happens when you marry from a poor family, you will automatically become a burden bearer for all.

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Tell your wife to feed her family, while you feed yours! Imagine feeding a family of 11 just because you are married to One—that's unfair na!

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Try and relocate if you can. Because with the way they use to feast on your food, they might as well feast on your flesh when the food is no more .

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But they eat too much ooo! Damn!

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I tell you bro, Redpill no fit handle this problem ooo. So you need to Japa!

stupidmod3:
nope didn't I, i simply let him know d leaving condition, wud it b better if he had come n I start giving altitude? am a straight forward fellow dont have time for saying one thing n doing another.

like i said hw works unless he was looking for where to b eating 247 while saving his money then he isnt a good fellow

stupidmod3:
nope didn't I, i simply let him know d leaving condition, wud it b better if he had come n I start giving altitude? am a straight forward fellow dont have time for saying one thing n doing another.

like i said hw works unless he was looking for where to b eating 247 while saving his money then he isnt a good fellow

igbowoman:
Poverty is your problem
Poverty is bad
O di very bad.God punish Poverty
Blame Buhari not your inlaws

uuzba:
If they die in your house, you are responsible..
More will come from the village to hold you responsible for the death and burial.

That is the worst thing you can ever do.

Better to just move away to a far place with your family.

CakesToolsOvens:
SMH

You want to end your marriage because of food when you can sort it out amicably.

RichAbujaGuy:
@Ninobraw

Its only temporary Mr Op because of the pandemic and struggling economy. God or the universe has blessed you to be the man and leader of both families.
Please be patient and handle this divine responsibility with pride. There's enough grown up small boys in the country that can hardly feed demselves. Sooner or later your sacrifice will return in your lifetime 10-100 fold or more!
Peace & happiness to u and the mrs.

Bozz01:
Try Relocate to Canada let's see if they will follow you to finish your indomie

showafrica:
This small problem you are tired... Na wa for you oo. Marriage no be beans, just increase your 'manhood'.

Solution is simple, start a project and tell your wife to run the home while you fund the project. Either start building a house or start building a business. I prefer the house thing because you will never lose. By the time she runs the house with 40k, no be person go tell her to adjust visitors bele. If something hungry you too much go outside go chop.

Solution 2. Build a business and engage the loafers. Employ them and pay them salary so that, they will be eating from there produce. May car wash, dry cleaning, computer center etc

Bola146:
I understand your worries. Sir, I know that you or saw this coming( that is why it's good to stop what you can't continue) they are her relations, they are her cross, she can't ignore them away. It's now left for you to sit your wife down maybe to minimize their coming or solutions to it. You can still be helping with the little you have, it's better than to ignore them totally.

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

mu2sa2:
Op, you chose to marry the firstborn of a poor family consisting of a litter of nine kids (wow, plus mum and dad that's a complete mix football team). As things stand, you're their benefactor. May God be your helper in shouldering the responsibilities of a family you voluntarily married into.

baby124:
You never jam agbaya big Bros and sis wey younger siblings are responsible for

amedualiyu:
My opinion as a married man, I will advise you patiently change your environment. If you stay in Ikorodu before, relocate to Iyana ipaja. Please don't make your annoyance known to them. Just patiently relocate far away from them.

flokii:
The guy should pack his things and relocate.. he needs to go far away if he wants peace.
Which kind of thing is that

Yankee101:
He categorically stated his inlaws were poor and the dad was on a small pension with many kids. So it's not gluttony when they're genuinely hungry


Isaiah 58:10
Feed the hungry,
    and help those in trouble.
Then your light will shine out from the darkness,
    and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon


As for the personal jab, I live in oyinbo land, were food is a none issue, you don't even visit without calling. If YOU are hungry I'll gladly feed you