₦airaland Forum

psalmuel76:
you will need to calm down, talk to her, explain everything to her...and look for wayout to the problem......marriage is not a childs play.... this is just 2years, you just started......learn to be patience....

Learn to be patience? E be like say u no know say no more #100 tomato and #200 tomato is just 3 tomatoes, my wife bought and I jusy open mouth down

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

Gate, padlock and big rottweiler......

But nah face me, u slap you..... E no go work....

ABANGWABOI:
My Guy say em dn tire to feed battalions


All I see is a Weakling.. you got no nerve, ball or steel..
Na only Wail you go wail..
I just learn something new now..
If I must marry a girl from a football team home, she must be the last or second to last child.. not among the first 3 ..
Cos.. em younger ones go wn dey come my house.. lol

Correct guy, I nu go look any babe if you are1st or even 2nd, your siblings pass 4 and your job isn't good.
I go for the middle or the last born.

Although last born dy spoil well well but I like it like that, since I know she's the one I will be spending my resources on.

Only one exception is if you have a business running, then I go fuel that business so that you go use take care of your family needs.

Frales6:
The wife siblings no dey use their sense too. until the man talk dem no fit use their brain know say the man with their sister no owe dem to feed dem. And those kind siblings no dey gree work any better thing bcoz where them go always go chop dey. if na me be the wife I go use brain follow my siblings ooo if not when my husband go broke all of them go find their way too. Na them go still dey talk say I go marry man wey no dey fit take care of me.

You again

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

No marriage is perfect ,we are all managing one another,d solution is easy,relocate or u find an apartment far away from both her families and urs,d stage u are in marriage is crucial,it's d planning stage,u need wisdom nd GOd guidance on this so as to not create more problem

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

Open up and tell them. That you dont want such unnecessary visit. If you cant then send her home for her family to see her.

You shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. You are a childish human being. Because of food? Of all problems in marriages, yours is that your in-laws eat your food.

Bigger123:
I will advice you to change environment i.e move your family to another state.

Some of you just comment without sense, if he had that kind of money to relocate and abandon his job, do you think he will be here complaining? You think it is easy to relocate and get a new job in this Nigeria? So many kids and illiterates on nairaland.

Bola146:
I understand your worries. Sir, I know that you knew or saw this coming( that is why it's good to stop what you can't continue) they are her relations, they are her cross, she can't ignore them away. It's now left for you to sit your wife down maybe to minimize their coming or solutions to it. You can still be helping with the little you have, it's better than to ignore them totally.

This is the problem with us Africans. They automatically became her cross because she is the first child? Una dey mad for head abi na wetin. This is how you people continue to encourage generational poverty. When her parents were fucking and giving birth to 8 other children following her, was she consulted? Definitely not but everyone would rush to say to her “they are your responsibility na”. Rubbish mentality!

Bro based on your write up, your wife has 6 younger sisters. Don't forget they must marry tomorrow. And their husband might be a blessing to your family by giving you and your wife a high paying job. They have been feeding b4 u enter the family and they will continue to feed.
It's the joy and love they have for your new family that make them to come to your house � and eat. Don't forget that hungry man Don't visit where he/she is not welcome despite how he/she is been beaten by hunger. Always support with the little u can bc they will support your family tomorrow.
From ur write-up, ur wife is a good woman. Sit her down with love, Remind her that you people has a future. Let her device how u people will manage the situation. You people can get a cupboard to limit how they consume some food stuffs.
Don't speak evil against a pensioner bc u r working. Remember rest is sweet after labour.
Always be nice to the family within ur financial capacity but don't forget to save for your car and land. Remember when the second child come by the Grace of God. You need one of them to assist in house chores. Remember you and your family needs a happy life. Pray for high paying job so you shall be a source of joy and blessing to them. Don't say u r tired of your marriage bc satan can use it against your family. God shall strengthen you. All the best.

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

Bro based on your write up, your wife has 6 younger sisters. Don't forget they must marry tomorrow. And their husband might be a blessing to your family by giving you and your wife a high paying job. They have been feeding b4 u enter the family and they will continue to feed.
It's the joy and love they have for your new family that make them to come to your house � and eat. Don't forget that hungry man Don't visit where he/she is not welcome despite how he/she is been beaten by hunger. Always support with the little u can bc they will support your family tomorrow.
From ur write-up, ur wife is a good woman. Sit her down with love, Remind her that you people has a future. Let her device how u people will manage the situation. You people can get a cupboard to limit how they consume some food stuffs.
Don't speak evil against a pensioner bc u r working. Remember rest is sweet after labour.
Always be nice to the family within ur financial capacity but don't forget to save for your car and land. Remember when the second child come by the Grace of God. You need one of them to assist in house chores. Remember you and your family needs a happy life. Pray for high paying job so you shall be a source of joy and blessing to them. Don't say u r tired of your marriage bc satan can use it against your family. God shall strengthen you. All the best.

Their sister don hit jackpot na

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

How is that your problem? Your wife is working, let her spend her money as she wishes.

Once the allowance you give her for the month is exhausted, don't give her additional money again.

Think of what to do that will make more money, have joint investments with your wife, let your wife have personal Investments , you should also have your personal Investments.

Don’t take the op serious .... check out one of the topic he deleted...


https://www.nairaland.com/6005844/fiancee-insists-spend-n500k-less

Stop stocking your house with foodstuffs. Eat out and ask your wife to do the same. When the hungry wolves come next, they will be disappointed. Do this oftentimes and they would gradually get the message and stop coming to your house incessantly.

You marry a lady who is a first born of nine children from a poor family.i don't like deceiving myself,you know exactly the situation you are going to face. Unless, I repeat unless your wife is a very knowledgeable and reasonable person I see problem coming up in your home if you complain about this. Just got married 2 years and you are already carrying loads on your head, load that your own family did not put on you.

okoroemeka:
poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you.

... I swear no cap in this

Asquare84:
Op your case is even better that your wife is bringing something to the table, as I type this I am the soul provider for the family, I mean even common salt I buy, wife doesn't do anything thing as I am typing this her younger brother who is managing with a salary of 30k impregnate a lady and she was operated through CS, her mom on hearing this came to my house with two of her children age 14 and 9. Not minding the ungrateful wife that I will give money to stock foodstuffs she will be complaining money is not enough yet she will not provide anything, she nagg alot and no respect for me. It very wrong to Marry from a poor family background.

Man up as you have! You will get stronger through the challenges but, that wife needs to help add value too

djon78:
Exactly

It's poverty that will make someone cry about his in laws coming to finish his food


@Op

Learn not to only live for just you, your wife and kids

Expand your mindset
That thinking only breeds poverty

People that cry like you barely make it above average in life

Allow your in laws to come and eat from you
Even if they finish what you bought

When you don't cry over there eating
And you expand your mindset
the subconscious infinite intelligence
Will create way for you to expand your income and earnings

I have seen this practically


Had two relatives then
One was always crying about people eating his family food

Another relative opened his house and allowed people to eat whatever they like
He made sure every one was satisfied


End result

The relative that was always crying and complaining about eating his food retained very average
Never really making it big

But the other one that opened his home to visitors went on to become extremely rich
Taking care of many families up till today


Infact my observation from that experience guides me in my own Home even today

I ensure any visitor to my house feast like a King
Food people will eat ain't any problem what's over

People that cry like you always remain average in life
Change your mindset
Your wife even has a liberal mind

What your in laws eat can never make you poor
Rather it will bring blessings and open doors to you

BEST COMMENT SO FAR!!!!

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

why not speak up discuss with your wife no pretence go straight and let her no you are no longer comfortable with it simple or what do u want naira land to tell u

Bola146:
I understand your worries. Sir, I know that you knew or saw this coming( that is why it's good to stop what you can't continue) they are her relations, they are her cross, she can't ignore them away. It's now left for you to sit your wife down maybe to minimize their coming or solutions to it. You can still be helping with the little you have, it's better than to ignore them totally.

left to me! Whenever they come around,I will just disappear from the house till they go

okoroemeka:
poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you.

In as much as OP focused majorly on the financial aspect I tell you their is also a privacy and personal space aspect to it. You read where he said that they ransack his room in the name of '' it's our sister's house''. He is not saying that they shouldn't visit but when it becomes a routine or a place to feed for them, it becomes a problem.

You that is claiming rich here may not even be richer than op. What he feels is very natural for a couple should have their reasonable space from family interference. You are only here blabbing because your own inlaws comes once in a while and may not be up to that number so chill

Thanks...

Adewunmibaba:
Don’t take the op serious .... check out one of the topic he deleted...


https://www.nairaland.com/6005844/fiancee-insists-spend-n500k-less

I just went through the other topic. Please, do you think this op is normal or just trolling?

generalwo:
... . I used to earn N13k back in the days as a school teacher and my gf was with me for a year in my 2 bedroom and one living room apartment.... Her 4 younger siblings were with me for a whole year..... The only thing I didn't pay for them was school fees.. Feeding, clothing and medicine all me...... Reason we broke up was when I found out that 2 of the kids inside were her biological kids and their father was a dreaded cultist and he called me several times to release his kids or he will report me to the police that I kidnapped his kids...... I'm not saying what they are doing is appropriate but all I'm saying is that he should place himself in the woman's shoes..... If he sees or hear her telling such a story and using such remarks about his family, will he feel great? There are better ways to resolve the issue...... People who HVe stayed married for long have seen much worse and they stormed through it..... I don't subscribe to the idea of calling off the marriage because of his food his inlaws are eating.... It doesn't sound right to me..... U don't expect the woman to turn down her family when she's more or less like a bread winner to them...... Whether we like it or yes, she's still loyal to her family to a great extent....

Well said.

Moral of the story: As a man, don't marry from a poor family. But even if you do, try not marrying the First daughter.

You will always live to regret it.

Igbo proverb; if your inlaw decides to visit every other day, roast rotten yams for him.

you have every right to stop them From coming.. because what you marry is there sister and not the whole family

God will continue to provide for you since you have decided to feed them. It is a saying that anyone that feeds God will provide for him to feed them thereby increasing your income in manifolds. Also kindly consider talking to their father and mother to let their children reduce the visit. You can also dedicate some amount of money monthly for them for their food upkeep. This will prevent them from coming regularly to your place.

bubbaGambino:
You shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. You are a childish human being. Because of food? Of all problems in marriages, yours is that your in-laws eat your food.

How many people are you feeding right now? How many people are depending on you? These days that the prices of food have increased by x2, x3, x4.
Do you even see his wife salary? We don't even know his own income, may be it is nothing to write home about too.

Gaddafi1:
This seems to describe my family while growing up, anyway God provided us with a kind in-law who too care of all us. Later he was blessed with so much wealth, Op do your best and trust God for the future. I am the 9th child (pharmacist) in my family.

God will always bless the giving hands. Hope you emulate you in-laws giving lifestyle to make the world a better place and make you a point of reference in another man's future testimony

Bozz01:
Try Relocate to Canada let's see if they will follow you to finish your indomie

Na wa for you oooo which kain Canada.
Someone says the wife Dey earn 40k
So how much you come think say him go Dey earn?
So with his 60k monthly na so he easy to
Relocate to Canada.
Abi u think say he easy make person Dey feed 11 reptiles