₦airaland Forum

Romanoff:
Knowing each other's limits and boundaries still doesn't change the fact that you both will offend each other. But couples should be willing to talk things out ans forgive each other of shortcomings.

If you're unable to forgive, no just marry. Cause you're marrying someone who you didn't grow up with, a full grown adult with their own way of life, different from yours.

That's why some characters should be deal breakers for you before you even marry, these deal breakers are things you won't compromise against.

Any other wrong doing can be discussed and amends made. Like two mature adults. It removes resentments and keeps the love going.

Things like "I am sorry I disrespected you, it won't happen again". "I am sorry I locked you out, it's insensitive of me and won't happen again". Life goes on.

This marriage ehn, we determine how smooth it will be, there are bigger issues in front, why not pick your battles and resolve conflicts amicably?

In this guy's case. He was never wrong to ask his wife to stop wearing skimpy clothes. Though he was too harsh in his method of correction. She is married and no longer a slayqueen and she should live up to the responsibilities that comes with it. You can't be married and still be chasing outside validations from single guys.

It is a disrespect for a wife to walk out on her man when he is simply calling for talks. And even go out against his wishes.

Even the church she is rushing to made it clear that husband is the head of home just like Jesus is the head of church.

Since you needed to discipline her ,a better way would have been to whip her ass till you can't anymore. Abi you stop giving her feeding money or kukuma send her away to a idp camp. Rubbish and nonsense

yorubarere:
In this guy's case. He was never wrong to ask his wife to stop wearing skimpy clothes. Though he was too harsh in his method of correction. She is married and no longer a slayqueen and she should live up to the responsibilities that comes with it. You can't be married and still be chasing outside validations from single guys.

It is a disrespect for a wife to walk out on her man when he is simply calling for talks. And even go out against his wishes.

Even the church she is rushing to made it clear that husband is the head of home just like Jesus is the head of church.

In my opinion, he shouldn't have married a woman that loves skimpy clothes in the first place.

There are married men who like their wives in skimpy outfits. So it depends on how you like your wife to look and has nothing to do with "how a married woman" should look. You think men that like their women to dress skimpy do so for outside validation from other guys?

Different strokes for different folks. He should have married a conservative woman in my opinion.

Why marry a woman who likes skimpy and force her to look conservative cause you married her?

That's the first error. I met a lady I've been chatting with on a WhatsApp group last Friday, she was so nice to me, she even sent me food one day.

The dress she wore was so short, even as a single lady, I couldn't wear a dress like that. But guess what, her husband was with her when I met her.

If your wife walks out on you, it's disrespectful. Calm down, wait till you're both calm and capable of rationality and tell her you don't like it, that she shouldn't so it again. Cut her warning.

But to lock her outside and come online to be claiming man and being proud about it, you've opened the door to the devil to bring in cockroaches to your home.

And we know how hard those roaches are to eliminate.

Romanoff:
If I don't submit to my husband, e for done run.

Submission isn't slavery. A woman should be happy to submit to you and that submission comes from how you treat her. With love and respect.

I don't need to be a feminist to know that in marriage, there is no need to discipline each other. Correction is the word to use. If my husband does something wrong, I wait for the right moment to call his attention to it. Lovingly, no judgement.

If I am also in the wrong, we will talk it out.

Sorry no dey hard is to talk and we are back like nothing happened.

In the case above, Uncle is disciplining his wife like a JSS 1 student and he an SS3 prefect. You went to a secondary school, how did that make you feel? Did you love those seniors who "disciplined" you or did you people create a wicked name for them and even became more stubborn".

Why lock her outside when you can talk to her when she's calm. I believe they were both spos to go for that church program together but because of how he handled the matter, wifey went alone.

The marriage is too young to be showing machismo. If she had always been stubborn, why did he marry her if he can't handle it?

That woman will become resistant to the "discipline" and become a thorn in his flesh.

For those who go through marriage counseling, is this how marital conflict resolution is taught?

Before you know now, physical abuse will enter.

Just reason and comprehend all I've said and tell me I am a feminist because of my line of thought or beliefs.

Know this and know peace o.

I had to mention you, l like your submission and I am glad I have seen someone that I share the same views with.

Erojepromise:
I had to mention you, l like your submission and I am glad I have seen someone that I share the same views with.

Thank you. I was begining to think I was alone.

Worrying over how a man choose to discipline his wife.... Funny kids.

Romanoff:
In my opinion, he shouldn't have married a woman that loves skimpy clothes in the first place.

There are married men who like their wives in skimpy outfits. So it depends on how you like your wife to look and has nothing to do with "how a married woman" should look. You think men that like their women to dress skimpy do so for outside validation from other guys?

Different strokes for different folks. He should have married a conservative woman in my opinion.

Why marry a woman who likes skimpy and force her to look conservative cause you married her?

That's the first error. I met a lady I've been chatting with on a WhatsApp group last Friday, she was so nice to me, she even sent me food one day.

The dress she wore was so short, even as a single lady, I couldn't wear a dress like that. But guess what, her husband was with her when I met her.

If your wife walks out on you, it's disrespectful. Calm down, wait till you're both calm and capable of rationality and tell her you don't like it, that she shouldn't so it again. Cut her warning.

But to lock her outside and come online to be claiming man and being proud about it, you've opened the door to the devil to bring in cockroaches to your home.

And we know how hard those roaches are to eliminate.

There is always a room for behaviours modifications. First we look at why she is wearing skimpy clothes and address that. Make her realize you wanted it at home, but outside, nah.... She is exclusively yours and for your viewership.

Like I pointed out above, I could have addressed the situation differently without any rancour. Cos I encroach on people thinking and try to know why they do what they do, with that, I will be able to correct any anomalies without raising dusts.

Same results can be accomplished with different methods, which he just did. I guess his woman is the stubborn type that needs more determined and brute man. You are a lady, you understand what I mean.

PlayMaker14:
Worrying over how a man choose to discipline his wife.... Funny kids.

Hahaha
Really funny

yorubarere:
There is always a room for behaviours modifications. First we look at why she is wearing skimpy clothes and address that. Make her realize you wanted it at home, but outside, nah.... She is exclusively yours and for your viewership.

Like I pointed out above, I could have addressed the situation differently without any rancour. Cos I encroachment on people thinking and try to know why they do what they do, with that, I will be able to correct any anomalies without raising dusts.

Same results can be accomplished with different methods, which he just did. I guess his woman is the stubborn type that needs more determined and brute man. You are a lady, you understand what I mean.

Not when it comes to a woman's style. You can't force it. If she comes to that conclusion on her own, good for you.

He didn't accomplish any results with what he did. That woman will never forget how he treated her and she will use it against him.

Those brutes you talked about, many of them are languishing in prison for killing their wives.

No woman will beat her cheat and say "I want a brute" for a husband. When bible said you should see your wife as the weaker sex, it's not because she's lesser than you, it's because you'd need to handle her with love and care, like a fragile ornament.

That's what it means.

How will you say you love me and lock me out in the cold while you stay in a hotel without caring if I die, I get raped, I get kidnapped or robbed?

That's not God kind of love and I rebuke it for any woman I know. Love overlooks offenses. Na so bible talk.

Nothing can't be talked through. Unless adultery sha. Ma there I hang boot.

yorubarere:
Hahaha
Really funny

I wouldn't blame them.... Most of them na dictators online, but calm pussycat offline.

PlayMaker14:
I wouldn't blame them.... Most of them na dictators online, but calm pussycat offline.

You can't be more correct sir.
The said woman won't have got such treatment if she submitted to her man.

yorubarere:
You can't be more correct sir.
The said woman won't have got such treatment if she submitted to her man.

Talking about submission, I believe if her pastor had told her to shut up and sit on top her stove till he's done reading Psalm 23 vs 1-19 to the congregation, the lady would have done that without complaining.... But her husband asked her to sit at home, she challenged him to see what he can do.


Most wives now respect their "Daddy in the Lord" more than their lawfully wedded Daddy.

FreeSpirited:
Though it's a bit Harsh but u have sent a strong message and that's fine. Next time she won't try it as she knows if she's does it will come with dire consequences. That's how to handle a woman..
.
If u allow bad behavior, they will disrespect you and do worse.

I love when men assert themselves not some pvssy as men whose wives turn to doormat, who will beg when their wives is wrong.
.
The point is punish a woman if she shows bad behavior, or else..she will do worse tomorrow and get bolder ....

Most of u see women as properties, that's why we have so many failed marriage today, because women are wising up.

You failed to realize women are humans too, people like u can only marry timid church village girls with no say, pretty much a dummy. Is that's what u want for a wife.

Nacoss25:
Good day my people. Ignore my wrong sentences please.
It all started like this.
On Sunday my wife wore a dress am uncomfortable with and which is unexpected of a married woman(I mean the gown was too short), when we came back from church I told her never to where such dress again to church she then picked offence that I always complain about her dress being too short, (My wife love skimpy dresses alot which I don't like) I was still talking she walked out on me went and stayed outside like someone who was chased out of the house, she stayed outside for about an hour and later came in and started dressing up to go for an evening program in church, I then told her not to go to anywhere in need us to talk, why I told her not to go is so we can settle the issues. She insisted that she must go that I can't stop her, I repeated my statement telling her not to go that I want us to talk she insisted on going. While she was about to leave I forcefully siezed the house keys from her and let her go, this happened around 5.30pm.
I love seeing my woman in short dresses but not wearing them to church.
On reaching the time she is expected to come back home around 7.30pm I left the house without dropping the house keys anywhere to a hotel and lodged there, she waited outside still around 10pm and sent me a text that do I want to sleep outside I did not reply her, she now called Me i picked and told her to go and sleep where she went to since she has the guts to disrespect mess her husband that am in a hotel at the moment to pass the night there and ended the call she called till 11pm and also sent text messages begging for forgiveness, she then called my younger brother who then called me too begging me to go back home I never picked her call and I switched off my phone.
I came back home around 5am only to discover that she slept on a bench in the veranda.
My people I want ask a question.
Don't I as a husband have the right to tell my wife not to dress certain way or don't I have the right to tell her not to go out, mind you am not the authoritative kind of husband but on this one I need to stamp my authority as the head of my family.
My wife is a good woman and I love so so much, I just needed to discipline her.
Our marriage is two months old.

Gee u F up big time,no matter how angry u are. Always ensure the second party is safe. Reading where she slept on a bench makes my heart ache. Always look for a better way to resolve issues instead of such barbaric and cruel method.

yorubarere:
She also disrespected the man she swore to respect and honor. It is a two way street, she done hers and the husband retaliated. Case closed. This is the time they will know each others and draw boundaries.... And also fight for who is incharge.

I am not sure you understand the institution of marriage. His wife is his better half. I don't think he can tolerate what he did to his wife like sleeping on the bench outside. Irrespective of what the wife did, that was not the best way to go about it.
Two wrongs cannot make a right so i expected he acted rationally.

OG next time don't lock her out, rather lock her in the toilet, that's how I punish girls

Nacoss25:
Good day my people. Ignore my wrong sentences please.
It all started like this.
On Sunday my wife wore a dress am uncomfortable with and which is unexpected of a married woman(I mean the gown was too short), when we came back from church I told her never to where such dress again to church she then picked offence that I always complain about her dress being too short, (My wife love skimpy dresses alot which I don't like) I was still talking she walked out on me went and stayed outside like someone who was chased out of the house, she stayed outside for about an hour and later came in and started dressing up to go for an evening program in church, I then told her not to go to anywhere in need us to talk, why I told her not to go is so we can settle the issues. She insisted that she must go that I can't stop her, I repeated my statement telling her not to go that I want us to talk she insisted on going. While she was about to leave I forcefully siezed the house keys from her and let her go, this happened around 5.30pm.
I love seeing my woman in short dresses but not wearing them to church.
On reaching the time she is expected to come back home around 7.30pm I left the house without dropping the house keys anywhere to a hotel and lodged there, she waited outside still around 10pm and sent me a text that do I want to sleep outside I did not reply her, she now called Me i picked and told her to go and sleep where she went to since she has the guts to disrespect mess her husband that am in a hotel at the moment to pass the night there and ended the call she called till 11pm and also sent text messages begging for forgiveness, she then called my younger brother who then called me too begging me to go back home I never picked her call and I switched off my phone.
I came back home around 5am only to discover that she slept on a bench in the veranda.
My people I want ask a question.
Don't I as a husband have the right to tell my wife not to dress certain way or don't I have the right to tell her not to go out, mind you am not the authoritative kind of husband but on this one I need to stamp my authority as the head of my family.
My wife is a good woman and I love so so much, I just needed to discipline her.
Our marriage is two months old.

Nasty, empty narcissists, with the expected puerile attitude. "Me", "I want". Waste that need serious reality check. How does one even "discipline" an adult, a so called partner, who is exercising her supposed will. Anyways, that's why they go for much younger spouses, so they can see them as children, and conveniently treat them as such, supposedly without repercussions. Immature gender always projecting their childishness, under the delusion of being in control. Toh.

PlayMaker14:
Talking about submission, I believe if her pastor had told her to shut up and sit on top her stove till he's done reading Psalm 23 vs 1-19 to the congregation, the lady would have done that without complaining.... But her husband asked her to sit at home, she challenged him to see what he can do.


Most wives now respect their "Daddy in the Lord" more than their lawfully wedded Daddy.

Na that daddy in the lord vex me pass. Most of them can't even look these so called men of God in the eyes but will be dragging who decides what at home with their husbands that paid their bride price.

I usually avoid "my pastor said" type of girls. They are disasters in waiting. Just have fun with them and move.

Nothing too much....but you reacted too badly....without a conscience, so you were in a hotel snoring like a billy goat and ur wife was outside killing mosquitoes and freezing in cold....baba you no fit be solider oooo....At least there is nothing bad in warning her first...And if she persists, you could have reported her to her parents,mentor or guardian....Poor reaction and poor judgment....

LadyRosa:
You locked out your wife the entire night and slept in a hotel?!?
That's extreme, if na me na pant I go start to wear go out.

Honestly, and some foolish guys are supporting him thinking he has won and shown authority, he has sown a seed of discord and resistance in her, she will either shrug his reactions off with a cold heart of steel henceforth, or match his stupidity and foolishness fire for fire.

webosky:
People don't think these days b4 they act. And I have noticed this acts are being perpetrated by broke men trying to survive, I bet this guy cannot take his wife on a proper vacation o but knows how to punish(see his mouth) tgier women. Treat your woman right, spoil her and watch her obey you like a god.

They just don't realise this 100% truth.

A tale of two stubborn goats.
Wife no dey hear word
Husband no dey hear abeg
And you're just 2 months in marriage...
You guys have a lot to learn and unlearn

Techguy96:
Most of u see women as properties, that's why we have so many failed marriage today, because women are wising up.

You failed to realize women are humans too, people like u can only marry timid church village girls with no say, pretty much a dummy. Is that's what u want for a wife.

By the time u grow up to be a man . Ur brain will have a reset.....Shebi u are just 24 ...ride on in ur juvenile ignorance. Dem no dey teach person to geh sense with woman....e go soon reach u

“1 Peter 3:7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.”

You did right but locking her outside is extreme. You could have waited for her at home and then correct her in LOVE.
Women tend to yield to correction when corrected in love and same thing applies to women when correcting men.

webosky:
Shut your loud mouth fool, wait , are you even married? , if your wife locks you out of the house because you desrespected her, how would you feel?
People like you end up having sour marriages.
Always treat your partner same way you'll like to be treated whether in disagreement or agreement. And don't quote me again b4 I lay curse on your dead brain

Curse Kee your generation..

If ee beat him wife, una go talk, now him lock him wife outside comot from house, una still Dey zuzu.. UAR complainers

JovialJune:
Honestly, and some foolish guys are supporting him thinking he has won and shown authority, he has down a seed of discord and resistance in her, she will either shrug his reactions off with a cold heart of steel henceforth, or match his stupidity and foolishness fire for fire.

You shouldn't be surprised. It's normal here with them.

Bobbyjay001:
This irrelevant. She's newly married for God's sake.

UR SO DUMB!WAS HE THE ONLY BFRD SHE HAD WHEN SHE GOT MARRIED?HOW MANY LADIES SPEND THEIR WEDDING NIGHTS WITH A DFFT MAN FROM THE FIANCE?NOTHING IS NEW UNDER THE SUN!RATHER THAN ATTACK OTHERS,SIMPLY SAY URS...LOBATAN....CHIKENAN!!

Nacoss25:
Good day my people. Ignore my wrong sentences please.
It all started like this.
On Sunday my wife wore a dress am uncomfortable with and which is unexpected of a married woman(I mean the gown was too short), when we came back from church I told her never to where such dress again to church she then picked offence that I always complain about her dress being too short, (My wife love skimpy dresses alot which I don't like) I was still talking she walked out on me went and stayed outside like someone who was chased out of the house, she stayed outside for about an hour and later came in and started dressing up to go for an evening program in church, I then told her not to go to anywhere in need us to talk, why I told her not to go is so we can settle the issues. She insisted that she must go that I can't stop her, I repeated my statement telling her not to go that I want us to talk she insisted on going. While she was about to leave I forcefully siezed the house keys from her and let her go, this happened around 5.30pm.
I love seeing my woman in short dresses but not wearing them to church.
On reaching the time she is expected to come back home around 7.30pm I left the house without dropping the house keys anywhere to a hotel and lodged there, she waited outside still around 10pm and sent me a text that do I want to sleep outside I did not reply her, she now called Me i picked and told her to go and sleep where she went to since she has the guts to disrespect mess her husband that am in a hotel at the moment to pass the night there and ended the call she called till 11pm and also sent text messages begging for forgiveness, she then called my younger brother who then called me too begging me to go back home I never picked her call and I switched off my phone.
I came back home around 5am only to discover that she slept on a bench in the veranda.
My people I want ask a question.
Don't I as a husband have the right to tell my wife not to dress certain way or don't I have the right to tell her not to go out, mind you am not the authoritative kind of husband but on this one I need to stamp my authority as the head of my family.
My wife is a good woman and I love so so much, I just needed to discipline her.
Our marriage is two months old.

The real question is how do I give my opinion without calling you out as foolish?

Nacoss25:
Good day my people. Ignore my wrong sentences please.
It all started like this.
On Sunday my wife wore a dress am uncomfortable with and which is unexpected of a married woman(I mean the gown was too short), when we came back from church I told her never to where such dress again to church she then picked offence that I always complain about her dress being too short, (My wife love skimpy dresses alot which I don't like) I was still talking she walked out on me went and stayed outside like someone who was chased out of the house, she stayed outside for about an hour and later came in and started dressing up to go for an evening program in church, I then told her not to go to anywhere in need us to talk, why I told her not to go is so we can settle the issues. She insisted that she must go that I can't stop her, I repeated my statement telling her not to go that I want us to talk she insisted on going. While she was about to leave I forcefully siezed the house keys from her and let her go, this happened around 5.30pm.
I love seeing my woman in short dresses but not wearing them to church.
On reaching the time she is expected to come back home around 7.30pm I left the house without dropping the house keys anywhere to a hotel and lodged there, she waited outside still around 10pm and sent me a text that do I want to sleep outside I did not reply her, she now called Me i picked and told her to go and sleep where she went to since she has the guts to disrespect mess her husband that am in a hotel at the moment to pass the night there and ended the call she called till 11pm and also sent text messages begging for forgiveness, she then called my younger brother who then called me too begging me to go back home I never picked her call and I switched off my phone.
I came back home around 5am only to discover that she slept on a bench in the veranda.
My people I want ask a question.
Don't I as a husband have the right to tell my wife not to dress certain way or don't I have the right to tell her not to go out, mind you am not the authoritative kind of husband but on this one I need to stamp my authority as the head of my family.
My wife is a good woman and I love so so much, I just needed to discipline her.
Our marriage is two months old.

You're doomed
Marriage is not run by power. Better apologies and run the marriage with love and trust. If you continue this way then pray she doesn't get into her comfort zone.

I have to be really blunt

Your wife slept on a bench outside all through the night, and you have the audacity to come here to bleet like a goat Your wife not a stranger and some dolts are cheering you on making you feel on top of dustbin, and you feel you're wise? A two month old marriage? You have sown a seed in her that will germinate and yield branches which will bring negativities in your marriage you this immature human, how old are you? Nairaland small boys preaching about swallowing truckload of strawberry pills has brainwashed your mendula depriving you of amicably settling your differences like adults, will they be there for you offline when shiit eventually decides to hit the fan? Or you think nairaland community is real life

I feel so sad for her