Nacoss25:
Good day my people. Ignore my wrong sentences please.
It all started like this.
On Sunday my wife wore a dress am uncomfortable with and which is unexpected of a married woman(I mean the gown was too short), when we came back from church I told her never to where such dress again to church she then picked offence that I always complain about her dress being too short, (My wife love skimpy dresses alot which I don't like) I was still talking she walked out on me went and stayed outside like someone who was chased out of the house, she stayed outside for about an hour and later came in and started dressing up to go for an evening program in church, I then told her not to go to anywhere in need us to talk, why I told her not to go is so we can settle the issues. She insisted that she must go that I can't stop her, I repeated my statement telling her not to go that I want us to talk she insisted on going. While she was about to leave I forcefully siezed the house keys from her and let her go, this happened around 5.30pm.
I love seeing my woman in short dresses but not wearing them to church.
On reaching the time she is expected to come back home around 7.30pm I left the house without dropping the house keys anywhere to a hotel and lodged there, she waited outside still around 10pm and sent me a text that do I want to sleep outside I did not reply her, she now called Me i picked and told her to go and sleep where she went to since she has the guts to disrespect mess her husband that am in a hotel at the moment to pass the night there and ended the call she called till 11pm and also sent text messages begging for forgiveness, she then called my younger brother who then called me too begging me to go back home I never picked her call and I switched off my phone.
I came back home around 5am only to discover that she slept on a bench in the veranda.
My people I want ask a question.
Don't I as a husband have the right to tell my wife not to dress certain way or don't I have the right to tell her not to go out, mind you am not the authoritative kind of husband but on this one I need to stamp my authority as the head of my family.
My wife is a good woman and I love so so much, I just needed to discipline her.
Our marriage is two months old.

At just two months marriage, you became so angry and locked her out and slept in a comfortable room with AC

If at this level you don't know that silent treatment is the best for such women

Then be prepared to keep lodging at every provocation and in one of those external lodging, you will and surely be accompanied by a woman

Your reaction was just too harsh, she will be blamed for disobeying you and you will be blamed for being to hard with your actions

As a man you don't leave your house for a woman to sleep out just to punish her

Give her the cold war treatment and that's just what will reset her brain

Besides, it's too early for her to start displaying the stubbornness in women

She must respect you as her husband, unless she is the one that sponsored the marriage and feed the home, then you are gone as a man

Romanoff:


Shut up again jor. You people call every woman with an opinion a feminist cause you don't agree with her. Your first mention at me was insulting and the fact that you don't see it makes me wonder why I am even replying you.

Leave my "simp" husband alone. He is more mature, smarter, more intelligent, more loving than you can ever be. And he won't come here to post nonsense like this. He was raised in a proper home with love and respect, not a Master and slave household.

Where he stands, you no reach and I will not tolerate any disrespect of my husband.

Na me and you dey talk, no drag my husband come, if not I ready for you.

I asked you to point where I insulted you only to get more insults. Are you insinuating that bin called a feminists is an insult? Wonderful

Your husband is more matured but submitted himself to the discipline of a woman.... I will jump and pass that kind of maturity abegi.

You don't know me and you don't know if your husband can measure up to me. Even staying put with a woman that insult at every turn cast an aspersions on his masculinity.

You coming online to insult people bfs and husbands is already a disrespect to your man. I don't need to insult him cos you are doing a good job on that already.

Oh, ready for me for what? What can you do more than more insults? I really wonder

Better invest such energies in your marriage, respect and honor him as a head so that your marriage can last. Just an advise tho

karkinase:

guy, don't be too authoritative on your woman.. that moment your brother called, you should have rescind every atom of disrespectfulness she showed to you. besides your marriage is just two months.. prolly honeymoon stage . just dont be too harsh . women are very complex beings.

plus the op ought to have invited his wife to the hotel where he lodged n iron things out thereby, giving her a good and satisfying f*ck, then both proceed home the following day.

Women hv undeveloped brains...they act like kids

Actually this is OP's wife.
Apparently she even wore a skimpy dress on their wedding and OP didn't talk that time o


I will take it down soon

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yorubarere:

I asked you to point where I insulted you only to get more insults. Are you insinuating that bin called a feminists is an insult? Wonderful

More mature and submit himself to the discipline of a woman.... I will jump and pass that kind of maturity abegi.

You don't know me and you don't know if your husband can measure up to me. Even staying put with a woman that insult at every turn cast an aspersions on his masculinity.

You coming online to insult people bfs and husbands is already a disrespect to your man. I don't need to insult him cos you are doing a good job on that already.

Oh, ready for me for what? What can you do more than more insults? I really wonder

Better invest such energies in your marriage, respect and honor him as a head so that your marriage can last. Just an advise tho

So a woman should submit herself to a the discipline of a man, so who disciplines the man when he offends his wife?



You called my comment "feminist jargons". This comes from men who aren't capable of making comments objectively without insinuating everyone is a feminist.

I hate the word. Unless you're certain I am, no call me feminist abeg.

Seeking mutual respect in a marriage doesn't make one a feminist.

God asked husbands to love their wives like Christ loves the church, is that Christlike behaviour?

And the woman is spos to submit to a man who doesn't love her enough to protect her, even from his anger.

This is the last comment you'll see from me.

On subsequent posts, just avoid my comments if it doesn't sit well with you, I can be graceful and ratchet depending on how you approach me.

Good day.

Bobbyjay001:


plus the op ought to have invited his wife to the hotel where he lodged n iron things out thereby, giving her a good and satisfying f*ck, then both proceed home the following day.

For those of us that did psychology, that is reinforcing bad attitudes with that your advise. It will only get worst. Op went too far tho but he got the results he wanted and that is good enough to maintain peace.

HRMK:
i blv she culd av a man she uses the skimpy dress to crush on in church!!

This irrelevant. She's newly married for God's sake.

Romanoff:


So a woman should submit herself to a the discipline of a man, so who disciplines the man when he offends his wife?



You called my comment "feminist jargons". This comes from men who aren't capable of making comments objectively without insinuating everyone is a feminist.

I hate the word. Unless you're certain I am, no call me feminist abeg.

Seeking mutual respect in a marriage doesn't make one a feminist.

God asked husbands to love their wives like Christ loves the church, is that Christlike behaviour?

And the woman is spos to submit to a man who doesn't love her enough to protect her, even from his anger.

This is the last comment you'll see from me.

On subsequent posts, just avoid my comments if it doesn't sit well with you, I can be graceful and ratchet depending on how you approach me.

Good day.

First post you will make on this thread devoid of insults. I guess I made an impact on your social behaviours. Reconstructing behaviours is what I do best. Look at my username and thank me some other time.

You are welcome.

Romanoff:


Abeg shut up. I am married. And I am not a slave to my husband.

My husband na man. A real man that is in complete control of his emotion and his mind and I respect him for who he is. I can't disrespect my husband and he can't disrespect me. He is my best friend and we are crazy about each other.

We have something called "Mutual Respect" for each other. You should look up the meaning of the word.

Shior.

If your sister's husband locks her outside for what was written up there, throw a party for her husband, clap for him and call fuji musicians to come and hail him.

"Dragging head" with my husband means I should be treated like a miserable orphan abi? That's what marriage is to you?

Put a dog collar on the neck on your own wife, make we know say na slave she be to you.

Who raised some of you here?

Who asked for your autobiography now?
You don't have to be petty to respond to someone.

..

Uncle93:
Dont do this with a woman who isn't loyal, shes ginna call another man and go spend time at his place till ure ready.. women areeeeeeeee

And she better remain there..

yorubarere:

First post you will make on this thread devoid of insults. I guess I made an impact on your social behaviours. Reconstructing behaviours is what I do best. Look at my username and thank me some other time.

You are welcome.

Yoruba rere o mean anything. Omo yooba na nimi.

But I found your first reply of my comment insulting. Not every woman associates with feminism. On this platform, I match energy for energy.

Your family comes first before the church and you have a right to discuss issues with your wife,she was rude for walking out on you but you didn't do well for letting her stay out,it was a wrong call from you, you acted as though you where calling your marriage quits and that's quite humiliating thing to do to your wife,you do not have to make her feel vulnerable, helpless or hopeless to drive home your point, that was totally unacceptable.

Romanoff:
I wonder how she disciplines you when you misbehave.

Or only you have a monopoly of being the disciplinarian in the marriage?

I see immaturity all over your post and if you continue like this, you will run out of ways to "discipline" your wife.

What is wrong with waiting till she's in a saner mood to talk? If she had even spoken to you in that mood and it escalated to a quarrel, only God knows what you'd have come here to say.

You knew she loved skimpy dresses before you married her, now you want to force her to change to suit your idea of a "married woman".

Una no go follow una spec, you'll marry a woman and frustrate her into what she's not because you're the "husband".

When that woman begin show you pepper now, you won't tell us how you've forced her to be what she's not.

We dey wait for you for front. Continue o.

I agree. U cant make her into what u want when u knew her b4 u married. She will eventually resent you.
U should control ur temper n bossiness n talk to ur wife. U love her n shes a person with emotions too. If u sweet talk her properly u can get ur way n guide her how u like. Lol do it right. But being bossy n childish wont work.
For a happy marraige u should share ur feelings calmly n ur reasons for things n try comprimise. U shoulda just kissed her n held her n said my beautiful wife i love you dressed like this but it would make me really happy if you kept those kinda dresses just for my eyes. Tell her it makes u feel whatever u feel. Lol it sounds mushy but its most likely the way youll get ur way without her acting up on you.

Mokason288:
If a man keeps repeating

I’m the MAN IN THE HOUSE

I’m the MAN OF THIS HOUSE

seriously he is NOT

Oil dey your head jaree, know this and know peace

yorubarere:

For those of us that did psychology, that is reinforcing bad attitudes with that your advise. It will only get worst. Op went too far tho but he got the results he wanted and that is good enough to maintain peace.

worst, as in? After his brother had called to plead on behalf of the wife. He ought to have given in and even picked her up and settle the matter away from home.

Romanoff:


Yoruba rere o mean anything. Omo yooba na nimi.

But I found your first reply of my comment insulting. Not every woman associates with feminism. On this platform, I match energy for energy.

But on a more serious note, submit to your man. Look up the Bible verse you quoted again. It has deep meaning. Women should SUMBIT to their men and men should LOVE their wives. In love, there is discipline. Discipling a erring wife is not bad, although I admit the dude went a little overboard.

And you asking who will discipline a man gives you off as a feminist dragging the man's stool with him. There can't be equal partners in marriage (it is a mirage some people love to keep). One must lead (husband) while the other follows. That doesn't mean followers have no inputs, as a matter of fact, leaders (husbands) must do what is best for everyone including his followers (wives and kids).

Nice to meet you my sister.

Bobbyjay001:


worst, as in? After his brother had called to plead on behalf of the wife. He ought to have given in and even picked her up and settle the matter away from home.

You don't know how female psychology works bro. If the brother had prevailed on him. She will pick it as "whenever I wrong again, I will call bro so so so". That dude not succumbing further sealed his authority that he is incharge and the wife will note that as well.

yorubarere:

But on a more serious note, submit to your man. Look up the Bible verse you quoted again. It has deep meaning. Women should SUMBIT to their men and men should LOVE their wives. In love, there is discipline. Discipling a erring wife is not bad, although I admit the dude went a little overboard.

And you asking who will discipline a man gives you off as a feminist dragging the man's stool with him. There can't be equal partners in marriage (it is a mirage some people love to keep). One must lead (husband) while the other follows. That doesn't mean followers have no inputs, as a matter of fact, leaders (husbands) must do what is best for everyone including his followers (wife and kids).

Nice to meet you my sister.

If I don't submit to my husband, e for done run.

Submission isn't slavery. A woman should be happy to submit to you and that submission comes from how you treat her. With love and respect.

I don't need to be a feminist to know that in marriage, there is no need to discipline each other. Correction is the word to use. If my husband does something wrong, I wait for the right moment to call his attention to it. Lovingly, no judgement.

If I am also in the wrong, we will talk it out.

Sorry no dey hard is to talk and we are back like nothing happened.

In the case above, Uncle is disciplining his wife like a JSS 1 student and he an SS3 prefect. You went to a secondary school, how did that make you feel? Did you love those seniors who "disciplined" you or did you people create a wicked name for them and even became more stubborn".

Why lock her outside when you can talk to her when she's calm. I believe they were both spos to go for that church program together but because of how he handled the matter, wifey went alone.

The marriage is too young to be showing machismo. If she had always been stubborn, why did he marry her if he can't handle it?

That woman will become resistant to the "discipline" and become a thorn in his flesh.

For those who go through marriage counseling, is this how marital conflict resolution is taught?

Before you know now, physical abuse will enter.

Just reason and comprehend all I've said and tell me I am a feminist because of my line of thought or beliefs.

Know this and know peace o.

You locked out your wife the entire night and slept in a hotel?!?
That's extreme, if na me na pant I go start to wear go out.

yorubarere:

You don't know how female psychology works bro. If the brother had prevailed on him. She will pick it as "whenever I wrong again, I will call bro so so so". That dude not succumbing further sealed his authority that he is incharge and the wife will note that as well.

you made a good point. Yeah, i like your narrative here. But the issue here is the dangers associated with her sleeping outside.

yorubarere:

First post you will make on this thread devoid of insults. I guess I made an impact on your social behaviours. Reconstructing behaviours is what I do best. Look at my username and thank me some other time.

You are welcome.

You were so calm in all your replies....

Nice one.

Skullano:


My friend shut up there, she was comfortable disrespecting him all in the name of going to church but he can't be comfortable to take the decisions.

Shut your loud mouth fool, wait , are you even married? , if your wife locks you out of the house because you desrespected her, how would you feel?
People like you end up having sour marriages.
Always treat your partner same way you'll like to be treated whether in disagreement or agreement. And don't quote me again b4 I lay curse on your dead brain

Romanoff:


Leave him alone. He's waiting for Nairaland children to hail him and award him a redpill certificate.

After he has ruined his marriage, he will still come back here and we go dey wait.

People don't think these days b4 they act. And I have noticed this acts are being perpetrated by broke men trying to survive, I bet this guy cannot take his wife on a proper vacation o but knows how to punish(see his mouth) tgier women. Treat your woman right, spoil her and watch her obey you like a god.

Romanoff:


If I don't submit to my husband, e for done run.

Submission isn't slavery. A woman should be happy to submit to you and that submission comes from how you treat her. With love and respect.

I don't need to be a feminist to know that in marriage, there is no need to discipline each other. Correction is the word to use. If my husband does something wrong, I wait for the right moment to call his attention to it. Lovingly, no judgement.

If I am also in the wrong, we will talk it out.

Sorry no dey hard is to talk and we are back like nothing happened.

In the case above, Uncle is disciplining his wife like a JSS 1 student and he an SS3 prefect. You went to a secondary school, how did that make you feel? Did you love those seniors who "disciplined" you or did you people create a wicked name for them and even became more stubborn".

Why lock her outside when you can talk to her when she's calm. I believe they were both spos to go for that church program together but because of how he handled the matter, wifey went alone.

The marriage is too young to be showing machismo. If she had always been stubborn, why did he marry her if he can't handle it?

That woman will become resistant to the "discipline" and become a thorn in his flesh.

For those who go through marriage counseling, is this how marital conflict resolution is taught?

Before you know now, physical abuse will enter.

Just reason and comprehend all I've said and tell me I am a feminist because of my line of thought or beliefs.

Know this and know peace o.

Whatever works for him. I am sure he got his desired results. You don't leave your home scattered and go to church. That is hypocritical.

Me, I like working on my woman psyche, and there is no rule anywhere that all men should follow same route.... Most don't even know that. If you dare disrespect me as a wife, it won't go unpunished. At times, the best way to maintain peace is to know each others boundaries and limits. I won't push you and u don't dare push me without consequences no matter who you call to beg.

With powers comes responsibilities. If you are a wife, behave like one not as slayqueen without any responsibilities.

Bobbyjay001:


you made a good point. Yeah, i like your narrative here. But the issue here is the dangers associated with her sleeping outside.

He went overboard and exposed the woman to danger. I am not disputing that.

PlayMaker14:
You were so calm in all your replies....

Nice one.

Good afternoon Baba mi

Nacoss25:
Good day my people. Ignore my wrong sentences please.
It all started like this.
On Sunday my wife wore a dress am uncomfortable with and which is unexpected of a married woman(I mean the gown was too short), when we came back from church I told her never to where such dress again to church she then picked offence that I always complain about her dress being too short, (My wife love skimpy dresses alot which I don't like) I was still talking she walked out on me went and stayed outside like someone who was chased out of the house, she stayed outside for about an hour and later came in and started dressing up to go for an evening program in church, I then told her not to go to anywhere in need us to talk, why I told her not to go is so we can settle the issues. She insisted that she must go that I can't stop her, I repeated my statement telling her not to go that I want us to talk she insisted on going. While she was about to leave I forcefully siezed the house keys from her and let her go, this happened around 5.30pm.
I love seeing my woman in short dresses but not wearing them to church.
On reaching the time she is expected to come back home around 7.30pm I left the house without dropping the house keys anywhere to a hotel and lodged there, she waited outside still around 10pm and sent me a text that do I want to sleep outside I did not reply her, she now called Me i picked and told her to go and sleep where she went to since she has the guts to disrespect mess her husband that am in a hotel at the moment to pass the night there and ended the call she called till 11pm and also sent text messages begging for forgiveness, she then called my younger brother who then called me too begging me to go back home I never picked her call and I switched off my phone.
I came back home around 5am only to discover that she slept on a bench in the veranda.
My people I want ask a question.
Don't I as a husband have the right to tell my wife not to dress certain way or don't I have the right to tell her not to go out, mind you am not the authoritative kind of husband but on this one I need to stamp my authority as the head of my family.
My wife is a good woman and I love so so much, I just needed to discipline her.
Our marriage is two months old.

Same energy you used to do this, can you spoil her with gifts, vacations? Broke nigger trying to prove he is a man. Look at your picture like pure water seller ,uncle discipline.
Y'all should learn how to handle women , and watch them worship you. You think its with your attitude Sarah in the Bible called Abraham Lord?.

yorubarere:

He went overboard and exposed the woman to danger. I am not disputing that.

Good for taking note.

yorubarere:

Whatever works for him. I am sure he got his desired results. You don't leave your home scattered and go to church. That is hypocritical.

Me, I like working on my woman psyche, and there is no rule anywhere that all men should follow same route.... Most don't even know that. It you dare disrespect me as a wife, it won't go unpunished. At times, the best way to maintain peace is to know each others boundaries and limits. I won't push you and u don't dare push me without consequences no matter who you call to beg.

With powers comes responsibilities. If you are a wife, behave like one not as slayqueen without any responsibilities.

Knowing each other's limits and boundaries still doesn't change the fact that you both will offend each other. But couples should be willing to talk things out ans forgive each other of shortcomings.

If you're unable to forgive, no just marry. Cause you're marrying someone who you didn't grow up with, a full grown adult with their own way of life, different from yours.

That's why some characters should be deal breakers for you before you even marry, these deal breakers are things you won't compromise against.

Any other wrong doing can be discussed and amends made. Like two mature adults. It removes resentments and keeps the love going.

Things like "I am sorry I disrespected you, it won't happen again". "I am sorry I locked you out, it's insensitive of me and won't happen again". Life goes on.

This marriage ehn, we determine how smooth it will be, there are bigger issues in front, why not pick your battles and resolve conflicts amicably?