ITbomb:

Emotional blackmail

If at 22, she doesn't have any skill to generate some income, she is useless to you in marriage

With two hands and two legs and a working brain, her only means of survival apart from you is prostitution, my brother, have a rethink.

No matter how much you give her, someone might give more

I concur with u 100%
OP no even wan explore his bachelor life be4 settling down for everlasting trap
Marrying from a poor family no bi good thing I swear even if you can control things now later it will get out of hands d demand will be too much just don't enter marriage now or allow her get pregnant take yur time and watch properly Toto no dey finish for market if dat is hungering u

Golden147:


Though I didn't add nobody should advice me to to hustle.... Even as a student, I have a stable income bro...

You are good to go, nothing else dey the matter, you have someone you love and also loves you in return, you have a steady source of income and probably an understanding parent on both sides, nothing should stop you and for the brothers, you are not their responsibility even if your wife is the eldest, you can only do your bit and if it comes to them abusing that bit, shun them and put them in their place, with time they will understand.

Torylanez:
- My brother you need to hustle more
- Move forward and achieve something
- Obviously you both aren't ripe for Marriage una just de do gra gra
- You both are marrying for the wrong reasons
- Anytime a man marries you marry all the good and bad of your wife family and she does the same with your family

Marriage is not about age neither is it about size
Marriage is more of a spiritual, mental and psychological move

You are not ready my bro

Take this as a golden advice from a married man

What he said is a partial truth which is not applicable in all instances, if not now when is the best time and what else determines marrying for the right reasons if not been able to cater for yourself and your spouse and extended family members IF you are capable of doing so, as one is not obligated to do such.

One word that has been so bastardised is "hustle" any fool can just comment and say "hustle o!" And in their mind, they have said something meaningful.

OP at 24 I was working, through with my ND and very ready for marriage except the financial side. Now, you have that and I'm happy for you.

Whether you get married to this lady or another I'm still happy for you because the biggest challenge to every man is finance. Today I'm 28, have my Bsc, working but broke as hell, I really want to settle down asap but money no dey.

The money/wealth you have right now is your unfair advantage, don't let anyone guilt trip you into thinking you still a small boy cos you ain't. Cheers!!

My man u dnt owe anybody anytin.I have 6 brother inlaws bt all of them dont exist to me in terms of helping me.As lng as my Sisters are Ok in their marraiges thats good for me.ELPOCHA will be the last person that will give u a call asking u for a dime.If u lv the said lady go ahead with,u only owe her and to some extend her mum a little care,nt those her lazy mumu brothers.

Torylanez:
- My brother you need to hustle more
- Move forward and achieve something
- Obviously you both aren't ripe for Marriage una just de do gra gra
- You both are marrying for the wrong reasons
- Anytime a man marries you marry all the good and bad of your wife family and she does the same with your family

Marriage is not about age neither is it about size
Marriage is more of a spiritual, mental and psychological move

You are not ready my bro

Take this as a golden advice from a married man

About tying the knot soon.
Mind if i get your WhatsApp number... I may need some advice from you sir.

the fact that she mentionned killing herself (aka try to be with her out of pity) and prostitution.... i would be careful about the babe. stop giving her money and tsaking care of her upkeeps and see what happens. anyway you have to start saving if/since you wanna marry her.

Bruh i commend ur hustling spirit o, you should be proud of yourself taking care of someones basic needs at 24, kudos... But y una dey rush, take things slow my brother. You are getting it at this your age you can still do more. Don't rush things like that. Enjoy yourself bruh. U still have a long way to go. Marriage doesnt favour man at all, you wont be able to do things on a fastlane. Your family will hold you down. Atleast achieve a lot more. Had it been she has a source of income now i would have advice you to go ahead cos u will definitely support each other but as it is now OYO be ur case.

Drop yours I'll message u

jeph19:


About tying the knot soon.
Mind if i get your WhatsApp number... I may need some advice from you sir.

Okay now

cayorday89:

You are good to go, nothing else dey the matter, you have someone you love and also loves you in return, you have a steady source of income and probably an understanding parent on both sides, nothing should stop you and for the brothers, you are not their responsibility even if your wife is the eldest, you can only do your bit and if it comes to them abusing that bit, shun them and put them in their place, with time they will understand.


What he said is a partial truth which is not applicable in all instances, if not now when is the best time and what else determines marrying for the right reasons if not been able to cater for yourself and your spouse and extended family members IF you are capable of doing so, as one is not obligated to do such.

Golden147:


Lol...I know this advice will eventually surface...but let me ask you.. How do you know a man who is ready for marriage, does age count too or it's because I added my age and her age??

My brother , hope you read my response ?
Read my last paragraph of my response again my bro

Then come back to respond to this

Liballo:
You are not Emotionality, Psychologically and Financially ready for marriage.
Do you think marriage is a child's play ?
And, to the issue of her siblings always demanding is a Red flag....... You can always choose to ignore it. But don't come here to disturb us about how your Wife's siblings are trying to run you dry. Like a thread a man made sometimes ago complaining about how his Wife's relatives eat like gluttons.

Is that all you have to say? If he was a girl, would you have made this same comment? Why is it so hard for vagina people to have sense?

Guy, you have to make the choice yourself so that you make it work or have no regrets or neither blame anyone.
1. No marriage is perfect. Sacrifice is involved.
2. Yes you both have extended families but marriage is about 2 of you.
3. Guy, if you want her and she has passed all your tests and met your requirement you can both get married.
4. Marriage is work in progress dont give up until you have tried all you can.
5. Dont let her brothers distract you

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

Your mother is wise. Listen to her.

Greystone:


She's obviously a good lady. Never let her go. Good girls are so hard to find.

If I were you, I would marry her.

You can manage her brother's issues easier than replacing ur lady.

Good indeed. At 22, you can never be really sure. Not many people, including women, really know what they want at that age.

Golden147:


Smile, yes bro...

Maybe because I didn't add I have got a house (4 bedroom flat) land properties too... what I don't have now as a man is car bro... anyways I won't dig deep about myself... I know myself just want to be sure of my marriage...
In my community a young guy at 22 that knows what his doing can get marry and settle perfectly fine...

What delayed me till now is my education.. I hope you understand now?

Bro forget those telling u guys are immature for marriage. Marriage is all about responsibility. Its seems u know Ur left from Ur right. I understand Ur fears, its something u can handle. Yes, it is true, when got married, u marry the whole family but there certain things u can't change like this particular one. All u need do now is to place them where they belong. Give them when u feel u want to, not as a right. Creat boundaries and principles that ll make dem not to cross.
Marry that girl!!!!!!

Torylanez:
Drop yours I'll message u

081.817.4812.4

[quote author=Golden147 post=103835490]

Lol...I know this advice will eventually surface...but let me ask you.. How do you know a man who is ready for marriage, does age count too or it's becaus

Marry her and relocate to another state if actually your ready for marriage then learn how to ignore some certain request

Please go for your girl and disregard any other advice you got here.
You will surely regret it in the future if you miss this girl......you don't know what you have.

You are perfectly ready for marriage and matured enough to have a happy home if you decide to become a man.
I don't know the kind of "men" we have these days that will always run away from little challenges and miss the prize at stake.
Don't let anyone discourage you, your woman is the big prize, her brothers are obstacles you need to overlook/ignore/manage to claim your prize.

Winning battles or learning from them is how boys become men not running away from every little problem.

As you navigate through life, you will face battles, challenges and obstacles....how many will you run from?
how long will you continue to run?

Lush100:
.

Yes you guys are not yet ripe.

You want to know when you are ripe.

When you guys, the two of you , start discussing how to solve challenge that come to ANY on of you nd the two of you are ready to share the burden to get it solved.

Then you guys are preparing psychologically.

When you realize that you guys, the two of you , discuss how to take money together or defer the matter by waiting , then you are preparing financially. I hope u know if you guys don't have a source of income, u have to create one together not putting the burden on one person.

The this as rule anywhere anytime

I'm planning to introduce her to my line of business, after her study. She has accepted already. ..as a matter of fact she almost perfect in it.
Thanks.

horlahwaley:
Bruh i commend ur hustling spirit o, you should be proud of yourself taking care of someones basic needs at 24, kudos... But y una dey rush, take things slow my brother. You are getting it at this your age you can still do more. Don't rush things like that. Enjoy yourself bruh. U still have a long way to go. Marriage doesnt favour man at all, you wont be able to do things on a fastlane. Your family will hold you down. Atleast achieve a lot more. Had it been she has a source of income now i would have advice you to go ahead cos u will definitely support each other but as it is now OYO be ur case.

I'm afraid too another guy may come into picture nd I will cry a regret... We have been together for Time nd I know what I want in a lady..she has all....I love her nd afraid another guy may see the qualities nd you know Ladies.... though not all shaaaa...but I'm afraid.

shortgun:
Please go for your girl and disregard any other advice you got here.
You will surely regret it in the future if you miss this girl......you don't know what you have.

You are perfectly ready for marriage and matured enough to have a happy home if you decide to become a man.
I don't know the kind of "men" we have these days that will always run away from little challenges and miss the prize at stake.
Don't let anyone discourage you, your woman is the big prize, her brothers are obstacles you need to overlook/ignore/manage to claim your prize.

Winning battles or learning from them is how boys become men not running away from every little problem.

As you navigate through life, you will face battles, challenges and obstacles....how many will you run from?
how long will you continue to run?

I'm not running, I'm facing it real ...my woman is a very good girl...each she keep telling me she knows what she wants.. that she may be a kid by each but not intellectually.... The last time I spoke with the dad, he told me planely how he wished he can change to become a man nd stand in his family..that she's the only one she can boast of being his true offspring.... So I know what I have... thanks for your advice bro

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

Are you both compatible in terms of genotype and blood group?

Truth is there is no perfect lady out there. Everyone of them have their own issues. So since you have found one that has the qualities you want I don't think her siblings should be an issue to you.

You need to spend less on her brothers and start saving heavily towards your future.

As regards another guy snatching her, well the truth is many guys will come her way, some even richer than you, especially when she is through with school. But don't worry, she won't leave you if she is truly good and faithful as you depict.
Even if she leaves you, life goes on bro.

My guy bro it is better to marry early jare if you found d right woman but you see my guy, after wedding relocate to a very far away place and warn your wife sternly you don't want her siblings to know where una dy or cook up one bad story make believe story give your wife family that you broke and all beg for food from them omo nah Dem go run Las las
They are leaches and so fucking entitled
Nah you go smart because for der mind money dy your hand

Listen to your mother's advice. Also remember that your fiancee will support you if you decide not to oblige any financial demand from her brothers after you get married.

Dude. I'm speaking from experience. Marrying such a lady who's dependent on you, last and only daughter..... You need to have a big heart to handle the family. If the family is the type that supports her even when she's wrong, then you're in deep manure. I understand that you love her. But look intently at the family and make your decision.

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

You're into that union not just because of her but to talk senses into her brothers. Stop giving her brothers money anyhow, empowered them if you can, they need to be responsible and stop being a leech

Golden147:


Lol...I know this advice will eventually surface...but let me ask you.. How do you know a man who is ready for marriage, does age count too or it's because I added my age and her age??

it is obvious you have a good lady that will support you,that is the main reason people marry early,I got married at 23yrs when I became friends with a girl I knew I cannot afford to let go,I ended up marrying her and having peace of mind for 20 yrs now,if you leave that girl you will have a hard time finding another like her, don't mind her brothers you can say no to there demands or increase your hustle to accommodate their demand s

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

This is the best time for both of u....
Once u are together, those big bros will swerve.

Golden147:


Smile, yes bro...

Maybe because I didn't add I have got a house (4 bedroom flat) land properties too... what I don't have now as a man is car bro... anyways I won't dig deep about myself... I know myself just want to be sure of my marriage...
In my community a young guy at 22 that knows what his doing can get marry and settle perfectly fine...

What delayed me till now is my education.. I hope you understand now?

firstly, it is not about the material things you have acquired bro, it is about maturity..
But believe me, i think you are mentally matured enough to be married..
Now here is my advice..

You are getting married to the girl, not her brothers.
The girl seems to be a very good thing.
Her parents seems to be very good and understanding too.
Marry her as soon as possible..

Those of you saying the op is still a child.do you think you know the op more than his parents?
Do you think you know the girl more than her parents?
If his parents can grant their 24yr old male child the permission to get married, it means he has displayed some level of maturity na.

general111:
firstly, it is not about the material things you have acquired bro, it is about maturity..
But believe me, i think you are mentally matured enough to be married..
Now here is my advice..

You are getting married to the girl, not her brothers.
The girl seems to be a very good thing.
Her parents seems to be very good and understanding too.
Marry her as soon as possible..

Thank you so much.