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Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? / My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post / Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Advice Needed by Revolva(m): 8:05pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
This op is not trusted abeg Go and settle your self with your husband Just say you want go bang your ex and stop lieing |
Re: Advice Needed by Kobojunkiee: 8:07pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
berrystunn:How do you conclude that it is the devil that will take her out of the marriage? |
Re: Advice Needed by Babastrong(m): 8:08pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
I can see the case of from frying pan to fire here. You're going back to your Ex? If i may ask what did he do before he became ex? your tit-for-tat will surely land you in fire from frying pan if care is not taken. my advice: 1. forget your ex, he's not the best person to return to in this situation. 2. Control your emotion, try to figure out the root(s) of the problem between you and your real husband not ex ooo. Pls dig deeper here,don't look at the surface. You may be the problem yourself. 3, sit your husband down, beg him even if he's at fault. 4 try to love what you husband love( may be s*x, submission or affection for parent, etc). Try to see the world through your husband eyes but act with you brain not emotion. A lot to say but i think these will help. |
Re: Advice Needed by Kobojunkiee: 8:10pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Simran94:Does it need to first be signed into law for such an agreement to hold in marriage even today? I think people simply need to be made aware that it is an option already available to them. |
Re: Advice Needed by Kobojunkiee: 8:11pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Babastrong:3. Why does she need to beg him? 4. Why does she need to submit to what what does not agree with? |
Re: Advice Needed by Nobody: 8:15pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
NaijaHelper1:Thank you |
Re: Advice Needed by Babastrong(m): 8:15pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
[quote author=Kobojunkiee post=105690522] 3. Why does she need to beg him? 4. Why does she need to submit to what what does not agree with? [then if she can't beg and submit to her husband, tell her pack out. Omode nse.] |
Re: Advice Needed by rickleye: 8:17pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
You asked so here it goes. Every marriage hits a rock spot. When the " honey " dries up and the sun goes now. It is when reality meets faith who wins. Constant quarreling tells me that you guys are not speaking the same language in love. If you want your marriage to flourish then take my advice. 1. You need to work on your communication. You are speaking English and he French. Due some words borrowed from each tongue you get along but you are walking on eggshells till the next quarrel or argument. 2. You need a mediator -Not a Pastor but someone who is qualified to help work this out ( So you need to invest in the marriage as it will not be free but paid ) 3. You both need to be invested -You both need to try and make it work - Meaning he might be perfectly okay with how things are and you are not - So ask him .. honey or dear are you happy with our marriage ? If he says Yes, you can reply I want it to work better and last and if he says no, then what can we do about it. If he says nothing - make some suggestions - ( What are the quarrels about ? Finances , attention , house chores , attitude etc ) The First steps would be to itemize the things on a piece of paper that make you mad ( 5 things) and like wise him and you try and work out a compromise on issues. I will give an example - We have been married for over 10 years . My wife doesn't love to cook , she doesnt love sex like I do, we are from different backgrounds . I am from West and she East. But struggles to do a lot of things that i ascribe ladies would do however she makes more money than I do , is also great a work. But not very homely , she can also sing . She can act and flash a smile but she wasnt like my ex's . During the 7 year itch it got to a boiling point where I wanted out. But the saving grace for me was that I didn't know anybody personally who had divorced. My parents where intact, my uncles had 2 wives but never divorced - So they had one wife at home and another outside . I wasn't prepared to call someone whom I didnt know about the 1-2-3 steps on divorce and when I sat down to reason properly . I said, she hadn't cheated, wasn't lazy, is a Christian so why would I throw all that away because I was not happy about the other stuff. I deserve to be happy so I started to read about relationships and then I set a time and date and informed her that we have to talk about the marriage. I wrote down all the things I didnt like about the relationship about her but they were points. 1. Sex ( I do not find you sexually active, I have to beg for sex and cajole - I'll buy you loungerie and tech you how to love me and i to you) 2. Communication - Do not ask me to do something when I am watching soccer or in the bathroom, if you need my attention call me and look at my face. 3. Cooking - Lets get someone to cook meals - Pay the person, you finish the cooking and serve, I do dishes . 4. Clean - You handle upstairs and I handle downstairs. and once a month pay someone to do a deep cleaning. 5. Finances - You pay rent, insurance and feeding. Ill handle car payments, clothing etc. 6. etc. It took a weekend but the key was that we both wanted it to work ! I would love to send you a free DVD - Titled Marriage that Flourishes and see if you can apply the steps to your situation. 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed by Bornboy4: 8:19pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Learn to look before you leap! Most young women think with their kitty when it comes to choosing a life partner. Get your FREE LOVE COIN TOKEN via my signature below. |
Re: Advice Needed by AmbaliJ: 8:22pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Zuchey91: The first 5 years of most marriages are usually the most challenging. After that it often only gets better as you would have come to better understand one another. The truth is that you are also already cheating on your husband as it stands, even though you have not yet met your ex or gotten physical with him, emotionally you are already cheating on your husband as well. There's no telling how your current affair with your ex would end but it would most likely end in tears, for you especially. Primarily because he is knowingly crossing a line that he knows quite well that he ought not to - - getting this close to a married woman. That, to me, demonstrates that he lacks character and discipline as an individual. Though I understand that right now your heart finds it convenient to indulge and bask in the distraction that he is currently offering. My candid advice to you is to do some serious soul searching. And please, don't lie to yourself. If you feel the marriage is done, initiate a divorce so you can begin the process of moving on. Otherwise, this affair with your ex while married won't augur well. My two cents. 4 Likes |
Re: Advice Needed by AfroKnight: 8:25pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
You’re looking for justification to cheat. Just do what you plan to do. No dey disguise. You have taken the first steps already. |
Re: Advice Needed by izubext007: 8:28pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
My advice is don't be stupid at all.... Two wrongs can not be right. |
Re: Advice Needed by Qoko: 8:29pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Your Ex will cheat you and you will still leave him for your Ex until you will become Apere Ajase, shot words, you better stick to this one and not your ex cos he knew why you’re coming back. |
Re: Advice Needed by Kobojunkiee: 8:31pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Babastrong:Why is that the only alternative that you see? |
Re: Advice Needed by Tushmanny123: 8:32pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
You are not a good women to have thought of reconnecting with your ex all cos your husband cheated. Just know within that "you are not fit for a wife" period. |
Re: Advice Needed by Strongbest(m): 8:33pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
usagee36: First of all, you are too low and dirty to drag issues with. With this level of your reasoning, I am obviously not in your league. My problem with a dirty pig like you is that, you will always think you are wise by calling others dumb but even a f00l will be amazed at the level of your fo0lishness. Just get lost already and cover your face in shame. |
Re: Advice Needed by frozen70(f): 8:36pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Zuchey91: You have to be confused because you don't know what the outcome with your ex will be The issue is that you don't have feelings for your husband and you guys have so many unresolved issues, which triggers the other It's time you let him know that you are aware that he cheated on you and it's killing you emotionally Now that you are about to reconnect with your ex, don't be too sure if your ex is coming back to you Just follow your heart because you are the person that knows exactly what you want 1 Like 2 Shares |
Re: Advice Needed by Scopgel1: 8:37pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Simple marriage is about 2 people from different backgrounds so all men have ego as the head of the family since u understand his problem was bcus of his background why not find a way to work out things and make ur marriage work. My sister out of 100% men out the only 10% are ready to settle down. Pls save ur marriage and ignore that ur X Kobojunkiee: |
Re: Advice Needed by Ijeamaka1: 8:38pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Naso tega and Boma take start |
Re: Advice Needed by Babastrong(m): 8:39pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
[quote author=Kobojunkiee post=105691089] Why is that the only alternative that you see? [anyway, as an happily married man with kids, this is what i think as solution. If you have better solutions, feel free to suggest them. End of discussion.] |
Re: Advice Needed by Malawian(m): 8:40pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
See as she used 'Cheated' for her husband, and used 'reconnected' for herself. 2 Likes |
Re: Advice Needed by frozen70(f): 8:40pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Tushmanny123: So she is not fit for a wife because she should have endured the trauma of knowing that her husband cheated The husband that cheat, got licensed to cheat, abi ? Let her cheat, if that is what she wants You and I can't determine for her |
Re: Advice Needed by WHITELIGHTER: 8:40pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
So you are cheating because your husband supposedly cheated? Does it make sense to you? U can't leave because you enjoy his money, FACT! If them born u well, leave tomorrow and go meet your poor and jobless ex who has enough time for you. All I see is a 21st century woman who is looking for excuses to validate her immorality. |
Re: Advice Needed by chichimezie(f): 8:42pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
U shud remember u re the woman here and it ur job to keep the home going.why not seat with ur husband and have a heart to heart talk ..before deciding on wat to do… |
Re: Advice Needed by Kobojunkiee: 8:42pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Scopgel1:All men have ego as the head of the family? Women have egos too... so why does her ego not get accounted for in this? Save a marriage that is run by an ego? Why? Aren't you pretty much assuming every marriage out there is defined in the same exact way as you define yours? |
Re: Advice Needed by DGREATE(m): 8:45pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
I have something to tell you, but do you live together with your husband? For how long are you separated, if that is the case? |
Re: Advice Needed by Kobojunkiee: 8:46pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Babastrong:Seems the Op expected to be considered an equal partner in her relationship, or at least to have a say, but is currently being denied that which she wanted. Your suggestion is that she deny herself even more in order to please the man's ego. Is that really what you consider advice? If this was a daughter of yours, would you advice her to submit to a man who considers her say worthless in marriage? |
Re: Advice Needed by Bola146(f): 8:49pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Simran94: YES stop defending lies! Some married women are the reasons why their women cheat! If she went wrong first, will she come and boldly say the truth here? Look at some married women that are bastards giving their husbands bastards The man pretended as if he didn't know, he started cheating because the truth in that home is destroyed. Men are not fools!!!!!! That is why it's good for mothers to train their daughters in the way of God, some female conscience is just faulty. Think twice 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Advice Needed by Scopgel1: 8:55pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Lets say me and u we viewingthingsfrom different angle. Am putting her on a saver side to save her marriage bcus she already knows what the problem is so why the road that leads to a broken home. A question is Is divorce the answer ? Many people here are facing worst issues in there marriage but keeping the marriage gives them reward later " as far as violence is not involved though " Kobojunkiee: |
Re: Advice Needed by efficiencie(m): 8:58pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Zuchey91: You are being trailed by the spirit of error. You jumped into a marriage with a man you wanted to divorce a few weeks after the wedding. Now you are jumping into the arms of an ex that is also a divorcee. What next are you going to jump into? At this rate you will be jumping into depression real soon. There are three questions you need to ask yourself before jumping from frying pan to fire. First, what do you want in a man? If it is money, good looks, and other mundane features then you will likely be jumping into fire next because this ex you are about reconnect with could connect you to the depression that could finally kill you. Second, what do you have to offer? If all you have to offer a man is your boobs, round ass and well lubed hole then be prepared for more marital issues because there are hundreds of thousands of competitors out there. Finally, what is your purpose in life? If you are directionless you always be lost in the storms of life...stop seeing that your so called ex, he will bring you sorrow. If your husband is not forthcoming garner income and leave. Spend sometime reflecting on your life decisions, correct yourself, reprimand yourself and chart a new course for your life. Find a man that aligns with your purpose and that understands the meaning of love and be prepared to submit to him. That's my 2 cents! 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Advice Needed by Myhusband(m): 8:58pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
a relationship/marriage that doesn't include flow of ceaselessly communication will surely face similar things. I swear to God if I don't have conscience I could have fúck the hell out of a lady friend whose husband has not even talk to since Feb despite living under the same roof. some men dey behave like sissy lately, how can him don't read your change of characters because I know you lady can't hide emotional trauma for long now your divorcee ex want to taste the Pussy he had been testing for long, na so you useless reach? if you're finding him uninterested why not tell him straight. if you don't handle this your evil emotional trauma you could end up being the victim here |
Re: Advice Needed by linconby: 9:00pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Look for wayout to resolve differences, every marriage have their problems. Having feeling for your ex is not the solution rather regret is await you. |
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