Ashawo dey your eye before....
Probably you forgotten so soon the reason(s) why you broke up with your ex before jumping to your husband.....

I don't really have an advice, maybe the person below me will have.

Have you visited my Signature?

Smart Business Info Hub.

If you think leaving him for another will solve your emotional problem, you are joking.
Get knowledge of how to make marriage work and make you decision.
If you need sincere advice, read a book call A-Z of marriage by Kingsley Okonkwo, and thank me later.

No sweetie, you did not reconnect with ex because your husband cheated. You have been longing to see an opportunity to reconnect with your ex.

Cheater

Zuchey91:
I need matured inputs please.

I am a married woman, with a child.

My Marriage has been really rocky. Quarrels every now and then.

What basically causes the problems is our differences, we just don’t understand each other, it wasn’t so visible during dating.

Although we did not date for long....but being married, it has been from one issue to the other, right from a week after our wedding.

I have always contemplated leaving, but I am yet to be fully independent.

Sometime this year, I found out he has been cheating (I was not surprised, but I was heart-broken) my discovery strengthened my resolve to leave the union.

In the process of nursing my heartbreak, I reconnected with an ex, we got talking and he helped my heal. I did not tell him what I was going through at the time...I was just enjoying the attention he was showing me.

I should state that I did not tell my husband about his cheating, I held all the emotions back, it was a very difficult period for me because I am usually the outspoken type.

My ex is not based in the country where me and my husband reside, we just communicate on phone, he says he misses me and would want us to meet when he is in town.

I should also state that my ex was married but divorced.

I would not deny my having feelings for my ex, and I also do not want to believe in a fairytale ending, I am just confused.

The Americana have seen a cruise machine whenever he comes home..
If he comes home to see you, na just to Bleep you and move on, you will loose both ways..
If he is serious, let him process your traveling

Zuchey91:
I need matured inputs please.

I am a married woman, with a child.

My Marriage has been really rocky. Quarrels every now and then.

What basically causes the problems is our differences, we just don’t understand each other, it wasn’t so visible during dating.

Although we did not date for long....but being married, it has been from one issue to the other, right from a week after our wedding.

I have always contemplated leaving, but I am yet to be fully independent.

Sometime this year, I found out he has been cheating (I was not surprised, but I was heart-broken) my discovery strengthened my resolve to leave the union.

In the process of nursing my heartbreak, I reconnected with an ex, we got talking and he helped my heal. I did not tell him what I was going through at the time...I was just enjoying the attention he was showing me.

I should state that I did not tell my husband about his cheating, I held all the emotions back, it was a very difficult period for me because I am usually the outspoken type.

My ex is not based in the country where me and my husband reside, we just communicate on phone, he says he misses me and would want us to meet when he is in town.

I should also state that my ex was married but divorced.

I would not deny my having feelings for my ex, and I also do not want to believe in a fairytale ending, I am just confused.

I'd love to talk privately with you

Hello, if you want to leave, leave when you're not made and try find your footings on your own. If you intend that he invests in you till you're independent enough for you to leave. Olewu o.

Zuchey91:
I need matured inputs please.

I am a married woman, with a child.

My Marriage has been really rocky. Quarrels every now and then.

What basically causes the problems is our differences, we just don’t understand each other, it wasn’t so visible during dating.

Although we did not date for long....but being married, it has been from one issue to the other, right from a week after our wedding.

I have always contemplated leaving, but I am yet to be fully independent.

Sometime this year, I found out he has been cheating (I was not surprised, but I was heart-broken) my discovery strengthened my resolve to leave the union.

In the process of nursing my heartbreak, I reconnected with an ex, we got talking and he helped my heal. I did not tell him what I was going through at the time...I was just enjoying the attention he was showing me.

I should state that I did not tell my husband about his cheating, I held all the emotions back, it was a very difficult period for me because I am usually the outspoken type.

My ex is not based in the country where me and my husband reside, we just communicate on phone, he says he misses me and would want us to meet when he is in town.

I should also state that my ex was married but divorced.

I would not deny my having feelings for my ex, and I also do not want to believe in a fairytale ending, I am just confused.

Ex that knows you're married but still wants you is equal to a toxic Ex.

It will feel good at the beginning but it will end in suicidal tears.

I don't subscribe to divorce except on grounds of extreme adultery or irreconcilliable differences beyond control. However, if your case doesn't fall into these, sit your husband down and you guys should discuss.

I'm not married but I have learnt a lot from people and marriages like yours.
Being with one partner is not a joke and it takes the grace of God to put a house together.

My grand parents have being maried for over 50years. They built together, travelled together, went places together whether business meeting or of any kind.

My advice is you should talk with your husband and you guys should explore in both intimacy and stuffs like family vacation and hanging out, it will help rebuild the love and create memories.

Zuchey91:
I need matured inputs please.

I am a married woman, with a child.

My Marriage has been really rocky. Quarrels every now and then.

What basically causes the problems is our differences, we just don’t understand each other, it wasn’t so visible during dating.

Although we did not date for long....but being married, it has been from one issue to the other, right from a week after our wedding.

I have always contemplated leaving, but I am yet to be fully independent.

Sometime this year, I found out he has been cheating (I was not surprised, but I was heart-broken) my discovery strengthened my resolve to leave the union.

In the process of nursing my heartbreak, I reconnected with an ex, we got talking and he helped my heal. I did not tell him what I was going through at the time...I was just enjoying the attention he was showing me.

I should state that I did not tell my husband about his cheating, I held all the emotions back, it was a very difficult period for me because I am usually the outspoken type.

My ex is not based in the country where me and my husband reside, we just communicate on phone, he says he misses me and would want us to meet when he is in town.

I should also state that my ex was married but divorced.

I would not deny my having feelings for my ex, and I also do not want to believe in a fairytale ending, I am just confused.

Zuchey91:
I need matured inputs please.

I am a married woman, with a child.

My Marriage has been really rocky. Quarrels every now and then.

What basically causes the problems is our differences, we just don’t understand each other, it wasn’t so visible during dating.

Although we did not date for long....but being married, it has been from one issue to the other, right from a week after our wedding.

I have always contemplated leaving, but I am yet to be fully independent.

Sometime this year, I found out he has been cheating (I was not surprised, but I was heart-broken) my discovery strengthened my resolve to leave the union.

In the process of nursing my heartbreak, I reconnected with an ex, we got talking and he helped my heal. I did not tell him what I was going through at the time...I was just enjoying the attention he was showing me.

I should state that I did not tell my husband about his cheating, I held all the emotions back, it was a very difficult period for me because I am usually the outspoken type.

My ex is not based in the country where me and my husband reside, we just communicate on phone, he says he misses me and would want us to meet when he is in town.

I should also state that my ex was married but divorced.

I would not deny my having feelings for my ex, and I also do not want to believe in a fairytale ending, I am just confused.

Your ex's presence is now your main reason for leaving the marriage. But before you make that expensive and demeaning mistake kindly ask yourself why you did not marry your ex and why you both separated in the first place. That will tell you that no one is a saint. Shine your eyes and work on your marriage. You have not made any attempt to work on your marriage till it to infidelity, okay too. Looking for a perfect man, it's alright!!!. A very stupid line of thought is when one wants to divorce a life partner just to marry a divorcee. Madam wake up and use your head.

Annie idibia....we know this is you.....why twisting the gist for us now

obayendo1010:
Ashawo dey your eye before....
Probably you forgotton so soon the reason(s) why you broke up with your ex before madam I cant bet my balls is not far from your current issues

My own na make she pity her husband use condom.

At least make the poor man no go train bastard.

Women wey get Sense nowadays no reach 50.

Season of fight and love. We need to learn to muture and walk away from some issues

We do NAFDAC registration and import permit, trademark registration, #12,500 business name registration with CAC

waih leh me ask google

Zuchey91:


Our upbringing is totally different, he comes from a family where women are supposed to be suffering and still be silent...this I found out after marriage...and I come from a family where women have a say.

I know how it would end if I tell him about it and I am not ready to go down that road. I am tired of the constant quarrels.
I can say I have gotten to my elastic limit and I have no strength of fighting for this union anymore in me.

That ex that is making you feel you have gotten to the elastic point is a man like your husband. If you can't cope, ask for divorce rather than the emotional cheating you are doing right now. You are as guilty as he is and you not speaking up is to justify your selfishness.

Boma and tega loading

mardis:
Have you even tried resolving the differences between you and your husband? How may length have you gone in trying to resolve your situation. Your marriage is very young and all this issues is expected. Reconnecting with your ex won't do you any good. Your ex is just taking advantage of you situation and he won't marry you.

Tell her

If your ex was such a great guy, how come you are not his wife?
An ex that knows you are married and refused to keep it at bay with you, does that not ring a bell?
Sometimes women are the architect of their own misfortune, instead of you to focus on making your marriage work, you are cuddling to an ex!
There is a reason he is an ex, let him remain in that past.
Lastly you have ALREADY CHEATED on your husband, albeit emotionally, na just sex remain which would have since taken place had that evil ex been around. There are relationships without sex you know!
Be calming down, perhaps you are distracted and the remote cause of the tensions in your home, it’s never too late to right your wrongs and make it right.
As a matter of urgency, cut off all communications with that ex, he has no regards for you nor your matrimony that is why he has led you on. Trust me, it will end in premium tears.

Madam, with what you wrote here, I can conclude that:

1. You don’t love your husband. Maybe you married him because your ex was no longer available and you just wanted to get married.

2. You’re not trying to love your husband because you’re still hung up in the love of your ex.

3. Your husband knows that you don’t love him and he’s find solace outside.

4. Your husband probably don’t love you as well.

5. The two of you are not ready to make your marriage work.

With all these I have said, there’s only two things you both can do. It’s either the two of you sit down and talk about everything bothering you both and how to make the marriage work or you seek for a divorce and go leave the life you want. You don’t have to cheat when you’re still married to your husband, regardless of who you’re planning to cheat with.

All these yeye woke women sef. Marry them at your own risk.

When you break up with this ex you will connect with another ex. Continue connecting with your ex's, why not?

I have always contemplated leaving, but I am yet to be fully independent.

I am highly disappointed with you... How can you leave when you still depend on him to buy you eyebrow pencil, lipstick, bra, and panties... Maybe the frustration he gets from you being a lazy entitled BS is the reason for his cheating attitude

You said you both not understanding each other wasn't so visible while dating....

If it was visible enough for you to notice, sorry to say this but you should have been smart enough to walk away.... or at the very least address it.
Honestly, going by what you wrote, not much can be done to save this marriage. Your child might just be the reason you both may choose to endure..... which in reality might not stand the test of time.

One option, however, is for you and your husband to find a common ground i.e. whether you'll be better apart or agonisingly carry on with the marriage for the sake of the child.

Zuchey91:
I need matured inputs please.

I am a married woman, with a child.

My Marriage has been really rocky. Quarrels every now and then.

What basically causes the problems is our differences, we just don’t understand each other, it wasn’t so visible during dating.

Although we did not date for long....but being married, it has been from one issue to the other, right from a week after our wedding.

I have always contemplated leaving, but I am yet to be fully independent.

Sometime this year, I found out he has been cheating (I was not surprised, but I was heart-broken) my discovery strengthened my resolve to leave the union.

In the process of nursing my heartbreak, I reconnected with an ex, we got talking and he helped my heal. I did not tell him what I was going through at the time...I was just enjoying the attention he was showing me.

I should state that I did not tell my husband about his cheating, I held all the emotions back, it was a very difficult period for me because I am usually the outspoken type.

My ex is not based in the country where me and my husband reside, we just communicate on phone, he says he misses me and would want us to meet when he is in town.

I should also state that my ex was married but divorced.

I would not deny my having feelings for my ex, and I also do not want to believe in a fairytale ending, I am just confused.

Sorry if I’m a little bit straight forward here, you really want to leave now that you’re fully INDEPENDENT, are you sure you’re telling the whole truth here? or you just want to go back to your ex since he’s now more loaded than your husband.

Well, my advice is that you look well before you leap. There’s an adage in Yoruba that says pasan taa fi na iyale on’be laja fuun iyawo( the whip used in beating the first wife is kept in store for the second wife)

What gives you the assurance your ex is not trying to apply okafor’s law on you?

If your husband finds out you cheated for any reason be ready to be an ex
Get advice from family that live together for like 20 years, that you think they are so happy in their relationship let them advise you.
Then you will understand that their s might be bigger than yours and they are still living together
Sacrifice must be made among the two of them to keep the family happy together.
In African women play that part of keeping the family
Your living that family if you can't play that part or be far from happiness in that family

OP: As someone who is married, I feel you should know that:

1) A man will go to any length to please a woman who respects him. Men value respect a lot. When you say you don't agree with him and you have been quarreling, it suggests to me that there may not be respect from your end. if I may ask, what makes you not agree with his view?

2) When you saw the evidence that he cheated, you should have brought his attention to it and at least hear what he will say. I personally hate bottling up things cos it causes more problems.

3) It appears to me like you don't really love your husband and you are waiting for funds for you to either elope or move away.
4) As long as thoughts of leaving remain in your mind, you will never fix your marriage.

Now I think:
5) You should cut off with your EX else your home will be irredeemably broken. You don't have anything doing with an EX no matter what!
6) Speak with your husband about the cheating on his part and just hear what he will say and resolve it. Better still, report it to someone he respects a lot and listens to but be sure it was really cheating that you saw.
7) Work on yourself, look at things that you are not doing well, things that cause the quarrel, and stop doing them. There is absolutely nothing in a marriage that can't be fixed except abuse.

I pray God to give you the wisdom to navigate this successfully.

Zuchey91:
I need matured inputs please.

I am a married woman, with a child.

My Marriage has been really rocky. Quarrels every now and then.

What basically causes the problems is our differences, we just don’t understand each other, it wasn’t so visible during dating.

Although we did not date for long....but being married, it has been from one issue to the other, right from a week after our wedding.

I have always contemplated leaving, but I am yet to be fully independent.

Sometime this year, I found out he has been cheating (I was not surprised, but I was heart-broken) my discovery strengthened my resolve to leave the union.

In the process of nursing my heartbreak, I reconnected with an ex, we got talking and he helped my heal. I did not tell him what I was going through at the time...I was just enjoying the attention he was showing me.

I should state that I did not tell my husband about his cheating, I held all the emotions back, it was a very difficult period for me because I am usually the outspoken type.

My ex is not based in the country where me and my husband reside, we just communicate on phone, he says he misses me and would want us to meet when he is in town.

I should also state that my ex was married but divorced.

I would not deny my having feelings for my ex, and I also do not want to believe in a fairytale ending, I am just confused.

na financial insecurity dey make woman stay for marriage

Whatever we carry in our heart our bodies express it. When your spouse wrong you and left unresolved, your body fights it during on the dinning table , on the bed and other discussions. It takes away the fun during lovemaking. It destroy the home and widens the gap. It is the reason both spouses go to tastes outside. Your marriage is still at the turbulent years. Every marriage that survived cross these waters. Learn to ask and demand answers respectfully. I am sorry you allowed your ex to hang you again after the vow. That was terrible! So you enjoyed it abi!?. That guy used you the second time.
Communication is key!...talk it out rather than bottled it. Good luck

Going back to an ex is the worst thing. Cheating is the worst thing. Please don't do either.

Exes don't mean well for you.

Here to learn
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I see black belters assembling here soonest

Incompatible and loveless marriages so common,why?

Zuchey91:
I need matured inputs please.

I am a married woman, with a child.

My Marriage has been really rocky. Quarrels every now and then.

What basically causes the problems is our differences, we just don’t understand each other, it wasn’t so visible during dating.

I understand how you feel but I don't think nairaland is a place to seek for counsel on this matter. It's obvious you're both tired of the marriage but I wish you both can look inward and settle your differences for the sake of your children.
The first five years in marriage is the most turbulent stage in marriage and if you both can overcome the challenges, you'll be happy later on.
In the absence of violence, I love it when children are raised in a normal marriage set up.
Pls say no to divorce and don't be distracted by your ex.
May God direct you.

Although we did not date for long....but being married, it has been from one issue to the other, right from a week after our wedding.

I have always contemplated leaving, but I am yet to be fully independent.

Sometime this year, I found out he has been cheating (I was not surprised, but I was heart-broken) my discovery strengthened my resolve to leave the union.

In the process of nursing my heartbreak, I reconnected with an ex, we got talking and he helped my heal. I did not tell him what I was going through at the time...I was just enjoying the attention he was showing me.

I should state that I did not tell my husband about his cheating, I held all the emotions back, it was a very difficult period for me because I am usually the outspoken type.

My ex is not based in the country where me and my husband reside, we just communicate on phone, he says he misses me and would want us to meet when he is in town.

I should also state that my ex was married but divorced.

I would not deny my having feelings for my ex, and I also do not want to believe in a fairytale ending, I am just confused.

I understand how you feel. It's obvious you're both tired of the marriage but you need to look inwards and settle your differences for the sake of your children.
Say no to divorce pls, in the absence of domestic violence, don't give up on your spouse. The first five years of marriage is the most turbulent stage of marriage but if you can scale through that you will be happy later on. I love it when kids are raised in a normal marriage set up.
Don't be distracted by your ex.
May God direct you.