Advice Needed - Family - Nairaland
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Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? / My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post / Advice Needed: On The Verge Of Hitting My Mum (2) (3) (4)
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| Advice Needed by Zuchey91: 4:10pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
I need matured inputs please. I am a married woman, with a child. My Marriage has been really rocky. Quarrels every now and then. What basically causes the problems is our differences, we just don’t understand each other, it wasn’t so visible during dating. Although we did not date for long....but being married, it has been from one issue to the other, right from a week after our wedding. I have always contemplated leaving, but I am yet to be fully independent. Sometime this year, I found out he has been cheating (I was not surprised, but I was heart-broken) my discovery strengthened my resolve to leave the union. In the process of nursing my heartbreak, I reconnected with an ex, we got talking and he helped my heal. I did not tell him what I was going through at the time...I was just enjoying the attention he was showing me. I should state that I did not tell my husband about his cheating, I held all the emotions back, it was a very difficult period for me because I am usually the outspoken type. My ex is not based in the country where me and my husband reside, we just communicate on phone, he says he misses me and would want us to meet when he is in town. I should also state that my ex was married but divorced. I would not deny my having feelings for my ex, and I also do not want to believe in a fairytale ending, I am just confused. 53 Likes 5 Shares |
| Re: Advice Needed by chatinent: 4:14pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
I have always contemplated leaving, but I am yet to be fully independent. If you have evidence your husband is cheating and cannot remain in the relationship, you leave. If you are not leaving, you are still married to him! At least, I believe the only grounds for divorce is adultery.
Can two wrongs make one right? Your reconnecting with an ex is a payback, yeah? What if everything was a mirage and the end brings you this dropped eyeballs that your husband wasn't cheating actually? Can you unscrew the screwed? Or you wanted a reason to cling to to return to the arms of this new 2face? Why condole cheating if that's the case? If you cannot accept it, you leave the union. That's the only ground morally acceptable to regroup with your new 2face.
I doubt you have feelings for 2face...it's this new attention he's giving you when you so need it that's translating to emotions, pills, and feelings. Hanty, I will not mince words. You are afraid of your tendency to meet your ex and ...history history...yeah? What is the assurance your ex would make a good husband? If he would, you wouldn't have left him! You are still a married woman whether or not you accept it! How do you manage an ex who knows you are married but wants to screw you! Doesn't it ring the bell to you he only misses your body? Wetin dey happen for this world sef. Abi is it only my brain that has no downtime? 783 Likes 77 Shares
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| Re: Advice Needed by mariahAngel(f): 4:18pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
How old is your marriage? 5 Likes |
| Re: Advice Needed by mardis: 4:22pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Have you even tried resolving the differences between you and your husband? How may length have you gone in trying to resolve your situation. Your marriage is very young and all this issues is expected. Reconnecting with your ex won't do you any good. Your ex is just taking advantage of you situation and he won't marry you. 116 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: Advice Needed by Bola146(f): 4:23pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
 madam deep inside you, you know what is right for you expect you are just deceiving yourself. Why not ask yourself the questions why your husband is cheating and fighting always? Some men need attention and real sex which many married women take for granted. Your ex you knew then might not be the man you know today. If your husband is a responsible man ( financially, caring and physically) please think twice, don't regret when lust ruin you, don't just conclude about leaving, what if your ex didn't show up? Find a way to ask him what really went wrong. But If your husband is the opposite of a good man, please still think twice before you marry your ex. I wish you best of luck!140 Likes 9 Shares |
| Re: Advice Needed by Zuchey91: 4:23pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
mariahAngel: 3 years plus. 4 Likes |
| Re: Advice Needed by Zuchey91: 4:25pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
mardis: No, I recently told him about the cheating part. |
| Re: Advice Needed by chatinent: 4:26pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Zuchey91: Clap for yourself. You have given him more verses to use subtle means to get at you and have you to his fullest only to dump you and marry his fiancee. I no know say your sense dey sleep. I see you coming back here after you've played adventure with your ex starting a new topic with “my friend told me that her ex...” Yeah, I get it, you aren't happy in the marriage. You want love. You want attention... I can relate. Is this the way to achieve it? With due respect, respect your about-to-be used self! Have a nice century! 263 Likes 22 Shares |
| Re: Advice Needed by Kobojunkiee: 4:27pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Zuchey91:1. You mention a lack of agreement between you and your husband. Can you give an example of what it is you argue about or can't seem to see eye to eye on?  2. You mentioned he cheated and you were hurt by it. Why not open up, in a non-confrontational manner mind you, about this to him. There is a communication wall that has developed between you two and until that wall starts to come down, nothing is going to change between you two, is what I think here. And you bottling up your hurt isn't making it any better at all. Marriage cannot survive when both parties isolate themselves emotionally. 3. Leave the ex out of this abeg! The last thing you want is to emotionally cheat on your husband. Two wrongs don't make a right! 75 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Advice Needed by Seniorwriter(m): 4:28pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Deep Quote: Always balance your EQ with IQ in relationship and love matters. Zuchey91: Be guided. @SENIORWRITER 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Advice Needed by lilvicky68(m): 4:33pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
I believe you know the right thing to do.. But just know that your ex won't marry you if you leave your marriage.. 49 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Advice Needed by Zuchey91: 4:36pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Kobojunkiee: Our upbringing is totally different, he comes from a family where women are supposed to be suffering and still be silent...this I found out after marriage...and I come from a family where women have a say. I know how it would end if I tell him about it and I am not ready to go down that road. I am tired of the constant quarrels. I can say I have gotten to my elastic limit and I have no strength of fighting for this union anymore in me. 16 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Advice Needed by Offpointng: 4:39pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Atimes when you want to solve a Relationship issue, you have to first compare and rate oversea and ur home country to be able to arrive at some concention. and then, when you both come back to ur senses you just have to understand why apples are picked on the floor under the rock after crossing out of the stream to meet a dancing statue 12 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Advice Needed by chatinent: 4:40pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Lalasticlala, mynd44, come carry this thing go FrontPage. E get people response I dey find. Esp, my baby girlie. 2 Likes |
| Re: Advice Needed by Zuchey91: 4:44pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
mardis: 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Advice Needed by Nobody: 4:45pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
. 103 Likes 12 Shares |
| Re: Advice Needed by Kobojunkiee: 4:51pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Zuchey91:I see! 1. You need a way to deal with your hurt though. Have you considered getting counseling for yourself... from someone who is willing to listen to you and not judge you? You need to heal to a point where you are able to better understand how to move forward without having your emotions lead the way. 2. You mention you are not fully independent. Are your intentions to leave when you become independent? Or do you plan to work on the relationship? 3. Leave your ex out of this. The way i see it is any person who knows you are married but does not respect that boundary does not respect you. 51 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Advice Needed by Nobody: 5:26pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Comment deleted. Another bs story cooked up by the mods to generate traffic. Nl has gone to dogs  53 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Advice Needed by blueyonder6: 5:29pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
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| Re: Advice Needed by Perfecttouchade: 5:30pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Ahaaaa, see wetin dollar wey rise done cause.. I will appeal to u (wife) no go chop Yankee pencil o , u go collect and he go Waka go back, u don make the list already (bucket list)  We fabricate quality Aluminium Windows that adds beauty to ur building, check out our profile 7 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Advice Needed by Dagger111(m): 5:30pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Oppor |
| Re: Advice Needed by daddytime(m): 5:31pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
The only thing I have to say is that, that ex of yours is only going to "Boma" you, move on, and dump you back with your husband. Call your hubby out on the alleged cheating and talk it out with him. Forgive him if he shows remorse and truly repents. If he fails to admit his error or guilt, you'll be in your right to seek a divorce and move on with your life. Except that your lack of independence still holds you back. Getting all squared with him on the cheating game won't be the best bet. 16 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: Advice Needed by Lamasta(m): 5:31pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Madam go and build your home with your hubby and stop quarreling with him... Stop giving room to the devil through your ex a word they say....... 18 Likes |
| Re: Advice Needed by Globad(f): 5:31pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Continue 1 Like |
| Re: Advice Needed by Nobody: 5:31pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Hmmm, deep! |
| Re: Advice Needed by Nobody: 5:31pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
that's really a very bad thing to do.. woman cheating in a marriage will only jeopardize the family.. as long as African society is concern 8 Likes |
| Re: Advice Needed by SarkinYarki: 5:32pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
You just want to destroy your marriage...Your ex if he is foolish enough will just knack you and move 9 Likes |
| Re: Advice Needed by Fiscus105(m): 5:32pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Lies will not kill us on Nairaland ooo Keep on dish out figment and claim its real Those i pity most are gualible ones, who are scare of institution of marriage because of your fake theories. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Advice Needed by Frales6(f): 5:32pm On Sep 10, 2021 |
Instead of you to go carry belle from your ex go give your husband, it's better both of you go your separate ways. Then you can go to your ex. No need to chook your head for wetin no dey work. Two good things sometimes don't go together. 12 Likes 1 Share |
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“My Husband Is Gay, I Still Beg Him For Sex – Woman / Lady Confess How She Put Poison On Nipple To Kill Her Cheating Husband / I Would Love To Go Back To My Ex-Husband – Caroline Danjuma
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