Good evenning house ,

I just want to ask this simple question !

What will you do if for the first week you get your salary paid into your son account and your wife withdrew #35,000 but lied she withdrew #30,000 ?

This is what happened .She gets the SMS notification from our son account and she also keep the ATM card but all I do is to get the mail notification.

Tonight ,she was indirectly complaining she doesn't have money and I asked her how much she withdrew in the last five days and she said #30,000 but the mail notification I got showed she withdrew #5,000,#15,000 and #15,000 on Monday and Tuesday (this week ).

The amount that dropped in the account was #150,000 and she was the one that even started doing transfer for those we needed to settle last sunday when my salary dropped .

We paid our son school fee ,sent little amount to my sister and little amount to her mum and her elder sister and I borrowed #13,000 from the money for transportation.We paid debt of #20,000 .

I stay and work on the island while I go home three times a week (mainland)

In all these,she was able to withdrew #35,000 and I was surprised she was telling me this night to get the money someone was owing me so that I can return the #13,000 I got because all what we have as balance in the account is #2,000 .

I was like is she trying to tell me she have finished the #35,000 with her and jokingly I said how much did you even withdraw from the salary and she said #30,000 !

I asked her if she was sure and she said that's what she withdrew .I now sent the notification I got to her and she was shocked and refused to reply me since 8pm .

My question is why did she lie ? Definitely ,she know she took #35,000 (#5,000 &#15,000 on Monday&another #15,000 on tuesday )but I am still shocked why she lied and why she is insisting on getting the #13,000 she transferred to me from my own sweat !!

Seriously ,I have lost my trust in her .This is someone who I have never benefitted anything from her rather than the fact that we have a son together after our wedding .

I love her so much and we have been together since 2013 .I have never seen any trace of infidelity in her but she locks her phone with heavy security just because I lock mine and that have never cause an issue but I still don't know why she had to lie this night !

Is there something I don't understand ?

She have definitely been a good wife since we settled down( with prayer and moral support )and she always stand by me in term of better and worse and she is not wayward despite how pretty she is .

But why did she lie ?

Oga this is not the right place to bring family issues. You should be a man and solve your family issues instead of washing your dirty linen in public.
If you truly love your wife as you claim you should be able to ask her why she lied and sort out the issue with her instead of coming to expose her here.

We are not your wife and neither is she us.

A small crack in the wall can bring down a whole building.
But bros...make we start with why you dey lock your phone. Talk true.
I no dey side your wife but he who comes to equity must come with clean hands�

youngblaq:
A small crack in the wall can bring down a whole building.
But bros...make we start with why you dey lock your phone. Talk true.
I no dey side your wife but he who comes to equity must come with clean hands�

I am not cheating on her and she never caught me cheating .That's not the story here sa

armstrongadeola:


I am not cheating on her and she never caught me cheating .That's not the story here sa

E ma binu

Just ask her bros.... She will be in a better position to answer you.

Maybe she forgot the actual amount she collected.

Op.... this is a very simple issue not to get worked up....



She probably miscounted the money she withdrew ....


Or she didn't just want to say it coz she didn't want to offend your thoughts..... or have a reason to retrieve the debit card from her...


Just talk things thro....

She didn't forget .she just lied but we will be fine tomorrow morning .We don't let our dispute go beyond a day but I still don't know why she said that .

I will not even ask her again .Bygone is bygone .That's the kind of man I am.i will just let it slide

yanabasee2:
Op.... this is a very simple issue not to get worked up....



She probably miscounted the money she withdrew ....


Or she didn't just want to say it coz she didn't want to offend your thoughts..... or have a reason to retrieve the debit card from her...


Just talk things thro....

Thanks .

All these slay queens we married don't joke with money and funniest thing is that my wife is so stingy with her money but wetin man go do.

I will not even get my salary into that account again.Why I am using my son account is that most time,I don't even know how I spend the money and I believe she will do better than me in expenses but since she is indirectly telling me she is broke after getting #35,000 in just five days ,I shouldn't try that again

armstrongadeola:

Thanks .

All these slay queens we married don't joke with money and funniest thing is that my wife is so stingy with her money but wetin man go do.

I will not even get my salary into that account again.Why I am using my son account is that most time,I don't even know how I spend the money and I believe she will do better than me in expenses but since she is indirectly telling me she is broke after getting #35,000 in just five days ,I shouldn't try that again

You know it's marriage, everything is between you too..... If you must stopped, you have to inform her... and let her know the reason behind it.... And try to engage her as well....


I run an open relationship... My spouse tells . e whatever she's doing with her money, even tho I haven't asked her for a dime before... And I pray never to ever ask her for money...

I need to know why she's broke and what she used her salary for...

That way, we know how to manage the funds coming into the family...

armstrongadeola:

Is there something I don't understand ?

She have definitely been a good wife since we settled down( with prayer and moral support )and she always stand by me in term of better and worse and she is not wayward despite how pretty she is .

But why did she lie ?

You ought to be having this discussion with your wife and not with strangers online since we are not mind readers and I doubt you would be willing to let us go interrogate your wife on your behalf.

Way too many of you are immature. How can can grown individual come online to ask complete strangers these sort of questions for Pete's sake. Did you ask strangers this sort of questions each time your mum or dad or even boss lied to you?

armstrongadeola:
She didn't forget .she just lied but we will be fine tomorrow morning .We don't let our dispute go beyond a day but I still don't know why she said that .

I will not even ask her again .Bygone is bygone .That's the kind of man I am.i will just let it slide

You are deceiving yourself it seems. This thread you created here is an extension of the dispute you have with your wife and will last for as long as nairaland stores this data.

Ask her and process the Bile instead of coming online to badmouth her behind her back. This is how the decay in marriage stews and stews.

Seriously ,I have lost my trust in her .This is someone who I have never benefitted anything from her rather than the fact that we have a son together after our wedding .

This is a very wrong statement to use against your wife.

I have never seen any trace of infidelity in her but she locks her phone with heavy security just because I lock mine and that have never cause an issue but I still don't know why she had to lie this night !

The same reason you lock yours is the same reason she locks hers so stop buttressing the “heavy security” thing. Is yours soft and yet nobody knows it?

By the way, I don't support her lie. She has to apologize!

Tell her you noticed three withdrawals and she should call the bank to complain since she didn't get value for the N5000 so that they could reverse the transaction as it failed.

Just overlook this. This is minor. Maybe she wants to pick something personal that she didn't want you to know. Hence it's the first time leave it at that.

Some women once in awhile are like this. I'm lucky though.

Talk to her about it...

Ask her this same question you're asking us. We do not know her mind so we can't categorically tell you why she did what she did.
You both should discuss it, explain how you feel about her action, if she's remorseful then let it go but tell her she mustn't do such again.
Communication is key!!!

armstrongadeola:
She didn't forget .she just lied but we will be fine tomorrow morning .We don't let our dispute go beyond a day but I still don't know why she said that .

I will not even ask her again .Bygone is bygone .That's the kind of man I am.i will just let it slide

This is not the way to settle dispute. You need to communicate else you build subconscious resentment which overtime can spiral into something else.

armstrongadeola:
She didn't forget .she just lied but we will be fine tomorrow morning .We don't let our dispute go beyond a day but I still don't know why she said that .

I will not even ask her again .Bygone is bygone .That's the kind of man I am.i will just let it slide

You two better sit down and thrash it out because for you to open a thread about it, it shows it will never be bygone is bygone as you will always bring it up going forward. So go ask your wife why she told you a different figure.

If u ask meee, na who I go ask?
Seriously, how do you expect us to know why she lied?


Maybe she used to money for something she was too embarrassed to tell you about and she did not know you receive email notification.
damn!

Doesnt she work? 150k is too small for a family in Nigeria now o.....hian, and shes the one appropriately your whole salary? It is well.


1. Leave the 5k matter alone biko.
2. Look into broadening your income as a family
3. Work out how she becomes financially able too
4. Agree on shared contributions

There is no way you can grow if shes the one appropriating your whole salary. You need to have savings, flex money and emergency money apart from the family recurring expense money. Maybe school fees drained this one but you really need to relook your income.

I wish you and yours financial growth o cos it's a major constraint for families.

youngblaq:
A small crack in the wall can bring down a whole building.
But bros...make we start with why you dey lock your phone. Talk true.
I no dey side your wife but he who comes to equity must come with clean hands�

Guy wey all him money dey with madam go cheat? How? Side chicks dont go cheap fa? You don forget how much you spend on the average?

Kobojunkie:
You are deceiving yourself it seems. This thread you created here is an extension of the dispute you have with your wife and will last for as long as nairaland stores this data.

Ask her and process the Bile instead of coming online to badmouth her behind her back. This is how the decay in marriage stews and stews.

Hey calm down! Kai!

I don't see anything wrong in what the op has done by bringing what is bothering him here for advice. After all it's a faceless forum. So what's the fuss about saying it here?
I mean.. isn't it better to let out his feelings than bottle up his emotions like a ticking time bomb. Don't you think the explosion will be more disastrous to his marriage? Calm down haba.

It was wrong of her to have lied on top of what was entrusted to her. Simple!
Let's call a spade a spade.

Op, you have every right to be angry at your wife's behavior because it's your hard earned money and the fact that you entrusted her with the money but she still had to lie to you.

She should be able to give accurate and detailed account of every money spent since she has been given the responsibility of keeping and managing your salary. failure to do so will be seen as gross mismanagement of funds on her part. Hence she should be relieved of that duty. I don't know why some women like to abuse privilege when they manage to get one ( including me).

Secondly, she has no right to ask you to return the 13,000 naira you collected. For crying out loud, it's your money!!!! And even if it was a joint account, she has no right to be spending from it and tell you not to spend or return whatever you spend. Oga, abi you Don chop efor? Snap out of it abeg!

Set a new rule.
Let her get a ledger and open an account record for your salary. Every Income and expenditure must be duly recorded and updated to the last kobo if she must continue keeping your money. And Transparency and honesty must be adhered to.

Nawa ooo

What if it was a simple error?

And even if she lied why not settle the mata with her.

Whatever the 5k was used for is definitely not even a big something in this economy.

You are already using a very strong language with your tone and the statements you are making.

You have lost trust in her,
you have never benefitted anything from her
Etcetc.

This mata never reach that level ooo, all you got to do is ask her simple. If it was not an error shes wrong but ask her to tell you.

armstrongadeola:
Good evenning house ,

I just want to ask this simple question !

What will you do if for the first week you get your salary paid into your son account and your wife withdrew #35,000 but lied she withdrew #30,000 ?

This is what happened .She gets the SMS notification from our son account and she also keep the ATM card but all I do is to get the mail notification.

Tonight ,she was indirectly complaining she doesn't have money and I asked her how much she withdrew in the last five days and she said #30,000 but the mail notification I got showed she withdrew #5,000,#15,000 and #15,000 on Monday and Tuesday (this week ).

The amount that dropped in the account was #150,000 and she was the one that even started doing transfer for those we needed to settle last sunday when my salary dropped .

We paid our son school fee ,sent little amount to my sister and little amount to her mum and her elder sister and I borrowed #13,000 from the money for transportation.We paid debt of #20,000 .

I stay and work on the island while I go home three times a week (mainland)

In all these,she was able to withdrew #35,000 and I was surprised she was telling me this night to get the money someone was owing me so that I can return the #13,000 I got because all what we have as balance in the account is #2,000 .

I was like is she trying to tell me she have finished the #35,000 with her and jokingly I said how much did you even withdraw from the salary and she said #30,000 !

I asked her if she was sure and she said that's what she withdrew .I now sent the notification I got to her and she was shocked and refused to reply me since 8pm .

My question is why did she lie ? Definitely ,she know she took #35,000 (#5,000 &#15,000 on Monday&another #15,000 on tuesday )but I am still shocked why she lied and why she is insisting on getting the #13,000 she transferred to me from my own sweat !!

Seriously ,I have lost my trust in her .This is someone who I have never benefitted anything from her rather than the fact that we have a son together after our wedding .

I love her so much and we have been together since 2013 .I have never seen any trace of infidelity in her but she locks her phone with heavy security just because I lock mine and that have never cause an issue but I still don't know why she had to lie this night !

Is there something I don't understand ?

She have definitely been a good wife since we settled down( with prayer and moral support )and she always stand by me in term of better and worse and she is not wayward despite how pretty she is .

But why did she lie ?

Your wife did what did because she thought she could get away with it. Unknown to her that account is linked to your personal email. Personally, that's a betrayal of trust. Discuss this with her. Let her know that what she did was cheating. If she needed money for something urgent, she should have made it known to you. Forgive her and sternly warn her that on no account should such repeat itself again. Be firm! Try and let go as harbouring this for long could affect your marriage negatively. All the best!

armstrongadeola:
Good evenning house ,

I just want to ask this simple question !

What will you do if for the first week you get your salary paid into your son account and your wife withdrew #35,000 but lied she withdrew #30,000 ?

This is what happened .She gets the SMS notification from our son account and she also keep the ATM card but all I do is to get the mail notification.

Tonight ,she was indirectly complaining she doesn't have money and I asked her how much she withdrew in the last five days and she said #30,000 but the mail notification I got showed she withdrew #5,000,#15,000 and #15,000 on Monday and Tuesday (this week ).

The amount that dropped in the account was #150,000 and she was the one that even started doing transfer for those we needed to settle last sunday when my salary dropped .

We paid our son school fee ,sent little amount to my sister and little amount to her mum and her elder sister and I borrowed #13,000 from the money for transportation.We paid debt of #20,000 .

I stay and work on the island while I go home three times a week (mainland)

In all these,she was able to withdrew #35,000 and I was surprised she was telling me this night to get the money someone was owing me so that I can return the #13,000 I got because all what we have as balance in the account is #2,000 .

I was like is she trying to tell me she have finished the #35,000 with her and jokingly I said how much did you even withdraw from the salary and she said #30,000 !

I asked her if she was sure and she said that's what she withdrew .I now sent the notification I got to her and she was shocked and refused to reply me since 8pm .

My question is why did she lie ? Definitely ,she know she took #35,000 (#5,000 &#15,000 on Monday&another #15,000 on tuesday )but I am still shocked why she lied and why she is insisting on getting the #13,000 she transferred to me from my own sweat !!

Seriously ,I have lost my trust in her .This is someone who I have never benefitted anything from her rather than the fact that we have a son together after our wedding .

I love her so much and we have been together since 2013 .I have never seen any trace of infidelity in her but she locks her phone with heavy security just because I lock mine and that have never cause an issue but I still don't know why she had to lie this night !

Is there something I don't understand ?

She have definitely been a good wife since we settled down( with prayer and moral support )and she always stand by me in term of better and worse and she is not wayward despite how pretty she is .

But why did she lie ?

Boss, I beg you in God's name let it slide, while not trying to make an excuse for her she might have forgotten the actual amount she withdrew since the withdrawals were made on different days, you can just tell her to careful and pay more attention to how she manages her finances, this is just a test for your family, try to pass it

[qu hiote author=obi4eze post=106572543]Oga this is not the right place to bring family issues. You should be a man and solve your family issues instead of washing your dirty linen in public.
If you truly love your wife as you claim you should be able to ask her why she lied and sort out the issue with her instead of coming to expose her here.

We are not your wife and neither is she us. [/quote] my thought as well, why bringing family issues to Nairaland where kids will just drag your wife and call her unpalatable names, call your wife set boundaries for her and tell her never to lie to you again.

armstrongadeola:
Good evenning house ,

I just want to ask this simple question !

What will you do if for the first week you get your salary paid into your son account and your wife withdrew #35,000 but lied she withdrew #30,000 ?

This is what happened .She gets the SMS notification from our son account and she also keep the ATM card but all I do is to get the mail notification.

Tonight ,she was indirectly complaining she doesn't have money and I asked her how much she withdrew in the last five days and she said #30,000 but the mail notification I got showed she withdrew #5,000,#15,000 and #15,000 on Monday and Tuesday (this week ).

The amount that dropped in the account was #150,000 and she was the one that even started doing transfer for those we needed to settle last sunday when my salary dropped .

We paid our son school fee ,sent little amount to my sister and little amount to her mum and her elder sister and I borrowed #13,000 from the money for transportation.We paid debt of #20,000 .

I stay and work on the island while I go home three times a week (mainland)

In all these,she was able to withdrew #35,000 and I was surprised she was telling me this night to get the money someone was owing me so that I can return the #13,000 I got because all what we have as balance in the account is #2,000 .

I was like is she trying to tell me she have finished the #35,000 with her and jokingly I said how much did you even withdraw from the salary and she said #30,000 !

I asked her if she was sure and she said that's what she withdrew .I now sent the notification I got to her and she was shocked and refused to reply me since 8pm .

My question is why did she lie ? Definitely ,she know she took #35,000 (#5,000 &#15,000 on Monday&another #15,000 on tuesday )but I am still shocked why she lied and why she is insisting on getting the #13,000 she transferred to me from my own sweat !!

Seriously ,I have lost my trust in her .This is someone who I have never benefitted anything from her rather than the fact that we have a son together after our wedding .

I love her so much and we have been together since 2013 .I have never seen any trace of infidelity in her but she locks her phone with heavy security just because I lock mine and that have never cause an issue but I still don't know why she had to lie this night !

Is there something I don't understand ?

She have definitely been a good wife since we settled down( with prayer and moral support )and she always stand by me in term of better and worse and she is not wayward despite how pretty she is .

But why did she lie ?

women have plenty needs bro, and sometimes fear make them lie unnecessarily don't let that spoil your mind and give devil chance into your home. Just forgive her and caution her you won't want her lie to you again. God bless your home.

The answer to the question is that, she lied because she thought you wouldn't find out.


Simple.

armstrongadeola:

Thanks .

All these slay queens we married don't joke with money and funniest thing is that my wife is so stingy with her money but wetin man go do.

I will not even get my salary into that account again.Why I am using my son account is that most time,I don't even know how I spend the money and I believe she will do better than me in expenses but since she is indirectly telling me she is broke after getting #35,000 in just five days ,I shouldn't try that again

But is your wife working?