dfrost:


Not at all. @1

@2 men and women should get married on time regardless of the economy and stop saying they have not seen their match.

It will help grow along the way. There is no end to little skirmishes in a marriage. E no easy for all those married couples.

There's no perfect match anywhere in the world. Even Adam and Eve that were a perfect matchare the ones that put us into this wahala.

Mikester:


Wrong. Terming men irresponsible or immature for having standards is wrong. Turning down single moms doesn't make a man irresponsible. There is a huge difference between responsibility and burden. A man who turns down a single mom does so to not place a burden that isn't his upon him. Does that make him irresponsible or a child?

Women ruthlessly place high standards on men who intend to marry them but weak-minded men misguided by information such as yours lower their standards for damaged women, commit to them and eventually regret.

Don't tell or teach men who to commit to, as adults they are in charge of their own decisions. You are right in some areas but get your mentality straight and stop guilt-tripping others for making their own choices.

nurain150:


Openly claim you don't want to married, and you pledge celibacy.

Please just make the promise here.

sisisioge:


Hmmmm....I thought you were of the opinion that once a woman gets offered the golden opportunity to become a Mrs, she should grab it without being too selective of minding how she feels about him. By the way, do you have any advice for the men that are still single in the late 30s?

nuelldido:
Well, I'll say all your advice are sensual and human knowledge.
My dear sisters God has never failed anyone who serve and call him with perfect heart.

Any solution you have outside God will cause you problem in the future. The suggestions above to me is not the way.
Find your way to Christ, He will help you and settle you maritally.

nurain150:

Yes, I do I know one of my relatives who didn't marry until 40,
My advice to them don't do adultery.
Take your time, and earn you can marry a fresh lady even at 50.

Toks2008:
Creating this thread has been on my mind for a long time but for some reasons I kept shelving it but after coming across a thread on front page about a 41 year old single lady asking for advise I think it is about time I drop this.

Now what you are about to read is for ladies who are still single in their late 30s and I will make it as simple and as real as possible...

You will never come across the advise I'm about to give you from pastors or many relationship experts but as many people already know me, I keep it as real as possible.

1. Understand that not everybody will get married:

Marriage is not a do or die thing... Marriage does not define who you are and you must never be bothered by what people say cos most of them are Clueless about the institution of marriage. Those who truly understand will never look down on you because you are single. Your happiness is more important than marriage.

2. Be financially independent: Any single lady in her late 30s should never make it a priority to get married cos the more you worry about it the more pressure you put on yourself and this is bad for your psych.

At this stage of your life, self actualization is what you need and trust me, by the time you make it a priority to get the best out of life, this will inadvertently gravitate men to you.

Before I give this third advise let me share this very touching story...

I remember a certain lady who contacted me about 6years ago and she said she has made up her mind to be a single mum if she turns 36 and she is still unmarried and asking me to be ready to donate sperm for her cos she sees me as a responsible guy... Furthermore, she will not put any pressure on me to be financially responsible for the child as she is well to do but she just want to have a child to avoid a situation where she will reach menopause and still childless.

Unfortunately she left this world before she could make this happen... So What is the point?

3. GET A SPERM DONOR TO BEAT EARLY MENOPAUSE.

The paramount purpose of a lady is not necessarily marriage but to multiply, bring forth new generations and replenish the earth. The good thing is that with the modern medical advancement, any lady can achieve this without getting married.

Believe it or not, it is better to get a sperm donor and be a single mum than getting married under pressure to a jerk who will make life hell for you.

If you are a lady still single in your late 30s please get a man to donate sperm for you. You don't have to sleep with him and he needs not be financially responsible for the child but just for you to point to somebody in future as the child's father. This will let you relax to get a better choice of a husband.

4. A man who will love you will love you.

Some may say once they are single mums, guys will run from them and YES I agree but this will also attract real men who understand that single motherhood is not a taboo but Infact a proof that a lady is fertile, a proof that she is responsible enough to keep a baby even when they had the choice to abort.. No genuine man will reject a lady cos she is a single mum especially if the child(ren) is her first.

5. And lastly as suggested by Pocohantas in the comment below... If you are open to polygamy, give it a shot.

According to her, as a lady gets older in Nigeria, it gets harder to see a never-been-married man with noble intentions. So if you don’t mind polygamy, if you just want to have your kids by one man, find one polygamous man and have all your kids with him.

All I wrote, this is an opinionated advise but any lady in this position could still decide to wait until she finds a husband but she must understand that whilst she is waiting, her time is ticking and menopause will definitely come regardless.

I hope this makes sense.

sisisioge:


How bias....the female should take any man she sees but the man should take his time. May God help us fa

Jman06:
Please, is Victorian dead Tell me it's not true!

siofra:

I'm not going to pledge celibacy.

nurain150:

Why you change your sex to male now

pocohantas:
1: Use juju and hook one man.

Don’t waste your time going to Shiloh or all these scam pentecostal churches. They will end up hooking you up with one boring evangelist that suffers premature ejaculatiôn.

It is better you use your hand and hook the one you like. But treat him well.

Nothing wrong in hooking husband. Even the bible says the kingdom of God suffereth violence.

2. If you are open to polygamy, give it a shot.
As you get older in Nigeria, it gets harder to see a never-been-married man with noble intentions. So if you don’t mind polygamy, if you just want to have your kids by one man, find one polygamous man and have all your kids with him.

Why are guys getting triggered at the mention of juju? I thought we are all here to advise advanced spinsters on how to get husband. All angles must be covered abeg.

sisisioge:


....may God help you fa.

siofra:


None of your business.

WHITELIGHTER:


But a man can marry a poor woman, yes? Oh maybe that's why some ladies are single at 50 because men too don't wanna settle for less

1Sharon:


Are men and women the same?

nurain150:


Lol see ehen. I no fit marry a woman wey no earn pass me or equal to me.

jikins:


You are just all over the place my man, you were talking about roots now you have changed to shaming women at 40. I believe your very first sentence applies to you as well as you have also made up your mind. Having a child has always been a selfish endeavour from time immemorial. Everyone whats to have a child for themselves first. Don't try to make it look overly selfish because it's an unmarried woman doing it.

Your rule is just that your rule and not reality. Having kids via sperm donors isn't something new, there are many people who are products of sperm donors and I can assure you that their mental health is even more healthy than many who had the almighty father in their lives. Thats reality not some rule you fed in your head that over inflates your genders importance in your mind. That clearly shows insecurity if you ask me.

And also people make mistakes and poor choices everyday. Even those who got married in your book made perfect choices are regretting it today. Many have even gotten divorce, some even killed their spouses. So again don't come here and make it sound getting married is as a result of perfect choices. There are women who did the right things in all their relationships but they were just unlucky.

Lol my dude you are product of itk and a constant overestimater of facts. Probably due to the kind of mentality and social indoctrination you have received. Children with single moms don't automatically start hating every men they see. That's just your insecurity speaking. The thing is I know a lot of people from single homes and I have also told you my experience. I recently attended a wedding of friend who was raised by a single mom. And I can tell you that this girl is more decent and put together that many girls with both their dads and mothers.

That's why I say all your points and rules are all in your head. And not in line with reality. The reality of things is if you raise your kids right. They will be fine. You even claim single mothers pamper their kids lol. You should see how local man was beaten senseless with belt back then.

Like I said your very first sentence here clearly defines you and your current stance. How you will justify someone's bad behaviour and character because they don't know their roots when they literally have a parent to tell them their roots just clearly reinforce my point. According to your narrative every orphan is destined to be useless to society . Wetin person nor go see for nairaland all in the name of justifying you prejudice.

You have said your own. But we are not talking about people wasting their youth. See why I said you are all over the place. Well na your headache be that make I continue my feast on Man United destruction.

Lollittaa:

so who are the gold diggers looking for rich married women to have sex with?

Magnoliaa:


And the whole church says, 'Amen.' This is the girlspel according to the Goddess.

UncleJudax:
you couldn't refute my point.

1Sharon:


Are men and women the same?

TheWolfen:
So I heard o.
It happen last February

1Sharon:


Lol but then most women won't want a man that they out earn.

nurain150:


Likewise most men that re alpha don't date broke ladies, if you can't earn up to me atleast earn 70 percentage of my income, else OYo.

perambulator:


There is no shaming here, it is a fact, there will always be women who will never find husbands, there will always be baby mamas but if a woman has the right attitude , outlook and makes the right choices, Good men will beat their way to her feet with a ring long before she is 40 irrespective of her physical appearance. Calling it shaming women is a refusal to accept that bad choices were made and that is why a woman is 40 and single, there is no ifs or buts about it. Bad choices does not mean she was a slut, it could have been she felt her career was more important, it could be bad attitude, it could be bad influences but it is still her choices that has brought her to 40 and single. Life is a consequence of choices, you make good choices and life tends to work for you. In life when you make bad choices at critical moments often you find yourself with another set of choices that are worse that the options you had before and those options are now gone and are faced with a lesser of 2 evils and so on and so on and eventually you get to a point where your choices are single mother by deception, single mother by adoption, single mother by donor or polygamy...they are all a consequence of a bad choice made earlier in life. The irony is people who never accept they made bad choices (i.e how did I get here) tend to keep making bad choices and justifying the bad choces just like they did the bad ones that brought them here.


The choice to bring a child to the world deliberately without a father is ALWAYS a bad one!!! It also guarantees more bad choice options and precludes good ones from your future!!

When sperm donor becomes one of your choices, youve screwed up, you can tell yourself anything you want but thats a fact!!!

We wont agree so lets end it there.

DissTroy:
Are we all going to ignore the fact that some people are advocating hooking a man with juju on this thread? What is wrong with you people?

Isn't hypnotising a person against their wll a crime or are we going to ignore it because women are the ones doing it?

Now when a woman wears something as simple as waistbeads, men get triggered because you've all normalised juju.

Yampotatocarrot:


I thought I was the only one that noticed it. The lady that initially gave the opinion made it look so "normal", yet someone like her will still say "she can never do it, but she doesn't see anything wrong when another does it... Coded werey"

I wonder why the OP didn't just leave his initial writeup and added that. Even went on to imply that guys who don't wanna date single mothers are not "real men"

Nonsense and ingredients

CUMIN:


Steve jobs was fathered by a Syrian father and mother. But was adopted by American parents

He paid investigator to search his biological father...he went there to see drink tea at his shop but the father couldn't recognize him.

He left without introducing himself.


Imagine if he doesn't have the resources to do that. Part of him will be void.

These women are creating problem for the future just like the gang violence we see in black Americans society.

Oyinlomobambam:
@toks2008 nice write-up

Please permit me to share it on my page

nurain150:

You can see your biasness here, you asked what is my advice to 30 + single men, you didn't say women.

Wo If my post hit you, it's because you feel guilty.