Advice Needed. I Have An Issue Bothering My Soul And Life..

I am based on the mainland and I recently came back from akwa Ibom where I did my youth service... I stay with my brother on mainland hoping to get a job and move out..

By God grace, there is possibility of me getting a Job on the island even though it is not yet concluded... Meanwhile the job will be on probation as I am currently being trained on it.

I have a lady Frnd Dt I met since last year, no sexual stuff btw us. We have just been friends. She stays on the island (ajah) and her rent is expired, though she didn't plan to continue living in That house. Our plan is Dt she is moving out and I will pay but recently she had some financial issues and wunt be able to move out again. So she suggested that we should pay another 1 year rent.

My concerns:
1. She is not really troublesome but sumtyms she is very stubborn. Anyway she is a Good lady sha.

2. Possibility Dt her sis will stay with us. I don't know much abt her sis and I don't want trouble.

3. a. The house is located in a ghetto like area in Ajah where the bathroom has no door and even the next person bathroom and people outside will know u r the one bathing. (bathroom fence not tall and no roof)

3.b. The toilet fence are so short that the next person can see u and u can see him/her while pooing . I love privacy and this kind life is not what I wished for..

4. The environment is notin to write about but I can cope...
.

What should I do? I don't intend rejecting this job due to lack of a good place to stay and I can't stay In mainland to be working in island which of course is still a probatory stuff.

Nairaland family, I am so confused right now......

If I were you, I'll increase my options by resuming work first, hoping I get a place at work or someone at work who could render a better alternative. If you work in a manufacturing/engineering firm, there is a strong possiblity that you'd find a place to stay until weekends.

You can also find a co-worker who might give you one help or the other regarding ease of transportation or a much better accommodation.


Now, if you have exhausted all the above possibilities, you can now consider staying with her, but you should remember this saying from the Bible:
"Better to dwell on the top of the roof than to live with a contentious woman."

For your own good, I hope the lady you're staying with isn't a contentious woman. E get why

You have to manage it like that for now pending the time you will see a better option for accommodation. Get the job first, when you get to the bridge you will know how to cross it

Can you find another place or is this your only option? It's obvious it won't be a suitable living condition for you and you will be miserable there. Start looking for another place asap.

God help us

InTheCloudySky:
Can you find another place or is this your only option? It's obvious it won't be a suitable living condition for you and you will be miserable there. Start looking for another place asap.

If I must get another place, money for rent, agreement ń commission especially now Dt things are too hard.. I can't afford it


Most people are saying I should get a place.. The truth is that it's nt easy... Even my brother place Dt I stay temporarily, I am planning to leave bcox the place don dey choke....

We agreed to pay 1 year which is 30k each but I opted for 6 months.. I am hoping miracle can happen and God will take me to next level....
I am trying... But she said we need to pay the rent this weekend so landland wunt come and harass her.... It is really closing in on me.... Infact I am currently sourcing for my own part of the money

I can't reject the job and stay jobless.... I am not the type Dt loves staying home and doing nothing while others are at work. So this change Dt I got, I want to make use of it .


Attention: if there is any guy here staying on the island Dt I can squat with, I will really appreciate.. I am of good behavior and a Christian... I don't drink nor smoke, I mind my business..... I am an active person Dt seeks opportunities and my drive for success is unending...

https://www.nairaland.com/6865390/need-anyone-staying-island-lekki

Timekeeper:
I am based on the mainland and I recently came back from akwa Ibom where I did my youth service... I stay with my brother on mainland hoping to get a job and move out..

By God grace, there is possibility of me getting a Job on the island even though it is not yet concluded... Meanwhile the job will be on probation as I am currently being trained on it.

I have a lady Frnd Dt I met since last year, no sexual stuff btw us. We have just been friends. She stays on the island (ajah) and her rent is expired, though she didn't plan to continue living in That house. Our plan is Dt she is moving out and I will pay but recently she had some financial issues and wunt be able to move out again. So she suggested that we should pay another 1 year rent.

My concerns:
1. She is not really troublesome but sumtyms she is very stubborn. Anyway she is a Good lady sha.

2. Possibility Dt her sis will stay with us. I don't know much abt her sis and I don't want trouble.

3. a. The house is located in a ghetto like area in Ajah where the bathroom has no door and even the next person bathroom and people outside will know u r the one bathing. (bathroom fence not tall and no roof)

3.b. The toilet fence are so short that the next person can see u and u can see him/her while pooing . I love privacy and this kind life is not what I wished for..

4. The environment is notin to write about but I can cope...
.

What should I do? I don't intend rejecting this job due to lack of a good place to stay and I can't stay In mainland to be working in island which of course is still a probatory stuff.

Nairaland family, I am so confused right now......

You trust ladies and anyone entirely?
Remember her names and signature would be on the receipt and not yours. Ladies are very unstable. She might want that today because of some financial situation she's going through but believe after you move in, it won't take long before she starts pouring out her frustrations she's going through at her working place or family on you and she might be forced to throw you out.

I'd advise you to find another option, a Male friend that can help while being honest with him.
I would be honest with you most guys don't mind accommodating a fellow gee so far he's very well coordinated, the problem is they would ask for 2 months stay and when it's passed two months they would refuse to leave and it might lead to one or two issues and before you know it he would be forced to throw you out angrily and you go about telling everyone is a bad person.

If you are saying for 2 months or 3 just try to be very much honest with whoever you're staying with and try to move out 3 days to 4 days beyforethe exact date.

Your respect would increase by %100

We are all in street working hard to be things right i am very sure your friends would help if you know as being very straightforward.

I have accommodated a stranger for 7 months, accommodated my friend and course mate then for almost two years and so many others, but trust me it caused some problems thereafter and i was forced throw him out.

Don't go into that silly deal with that girl, keep the little money you have with you and find a temporary accommodation in your place of work if you can't find a male friend to help.

Badadvisor:


Don't go into that silly deal with that girl, keep the little money you have with you and find a temporary accommodation in your place of work if you can't find a male friend to help.

Place of work is a no no.. I am not even been given offer letter... It is still a discussion on table... ND I don't av frnds staying here..... Most of my times have been spent outisde Lagos due to school and service... Right since 2012 wey I don start this academic stuff.. I no dey really stay Lagos... I am just bothered...

Attention: if there is any guy be it Muslim or Christian here staying on the island Dt I can squat with, I will really appreciate.. I am of good behavior and a Christian... I don't drink nor smoke, I mind my business..... I am an active person Dt seeks opportunities and my drive for success is unending...

https://www.nairaland.com/6865390/need-anyone-staying-island-lekki

..
are you two dating??

anyhow Sha, it will end in hot premium tears.

What's all this bayi....biko go and find your own space separate. Abi you're getting married to the lady friend ni? It is well.

Cohabitation loading.... unplanned marriage next. Expected nairaland thread: "please help my wife is a demon"

I don't know where on the mainland you are staying, but there are people who come to work from Mower/Ibafo, Ikorodu, Ayobo even the borderline of Ogun state to the Island on a daily basis.

You are just starting off your career path don't make distance an issue for you now. There are more things to worry about.

Operate from your current location but with a few suggestions:
1. Plan your daily commute to the best times that makes you punctual at work. Might require you leaving quite early.

2. Sample your options of commute, like using BRT for most parts.

3. Trace a favourable route, sometimes short distance or change of route instead of a long haul might help navigate around traffic prone areas.

4. Use your weekends well and make sure you don't miss out on other social aspects of life. Certainly weekdays for now won't be free for you at all.

4. While at your current job, give your best, seek other opportunities (there are many not until you get out there and talk to someone, keep your mind and eyes wide open)

5. Consider tagging along with a friend or buddy going your way before or after work. There are lots of people working on the island who pick passenger as part of the way to subsidize their fuelling cost. You would find them as you progress on the job. But be very contious of who you choose.

6. Finally on the choice of staying with the lady, it's not healthy and most likely could be a distraction for you and your job. I won't go further on this.

PS: While you work remember this unpopular line that helped me a lot...


"...Those who work more than they are paid would soon be paid more than they work."

I understand that you are at crossroads now, but you have to put on your thinking cap real quick.

Do not think of staying with her, she can leave you stranded halfway. Let me share with you a little experience of mine.
I was posted to ifo local govt in Ogun state for nysc, I didn't bring anything along except for my clothes and shoes. At the school I was posted to, I met a female corper and I explained my situation to her, she opted that we contributed together to buy food and gas( she bought gas cylinder, plates, and spoons from home) I took it as a kind gesture, we did everything together.

Getting to the third week, she came to me that we cannot cook together for no reason, she knows I was broke during that period. Till month-end, I was drinking garri because I had no money to buy gas cylinder..

Moral story: Never trust a woman

Blessingedem80:
I don't know where on the mainland you are staying, but there are people who come to work from Mower/Ibafo, Ikorodu, Ayobo even the borderline of Ogun state to the Island on a daily basis.

You are just starting off your career path don't make distance an issue for you now. There are more things to worry about.

Operate from your current location but with a few suggestions:
1. Plan your daily commute to the best times that makes you punctual at work. Might require you leaving quite early.

2. Sample your options of commute, like using BRT for most parts.

3. Trace a favourable route, sometimes short distance or change of route instead of a long haul might help navigate around traffic prone areas.

4. Use your weekends well and make sure you don't miss out on other social aspects of life. Certainly weekdays for now won't be free for you at all.

4. While at your current job, give your best, seek other opportunities (there are many not until you get out there and talk to someone, keep your mind and eyes wide open)

5. Consider tagging along with a friend or buddy going your way before or after work. There are lots of people working on the island who pick passenger as part of the way to subsidize their fuelling cost. You would find them as you progress on the job. But be very contious of who you choose.

6. Finally on the choice of staying with the lady, it's not healthy and most likely could be a distraction for you and your job. I won't go further on this.

PS: While you work remember this unpopular line that helped me a lot...


"...Those who work more than they are paid would soon be paid more than they work."

Thanks for this... But kindly note Dt, if I am going from my place on mainland to island, it will cost me almost 1500 to 1600 to fro daily....


If I stay here in island, it will cost me at most 300 to 400 to fro daily

logic102:
Do not think of staying with her, she can leave you stranded halfway. Let me share with you a little experience of mine.
I was posted to ifo local govt in Ogun state for nysc, I didn't bring anything along except for my clothes and shoes. At the school I was posted to, I met a female corper and I explained my situation to her, she opted that we contributed together to buy food and gas( she bought gas cylinder, plates, and spoons from home) I took it as a kind gesture, we did everything together.

Getting to the third week, she came to me that we cannot cook together for no reason, she knows I was broke during that period. Till month-end, I was drinking garri because I had no money to buy gas cylinder..

Moral story: Never trust a woman

If we pay together, even if anyone must leave, certainly it can't be me... Las las she will take her properties away and I will try getting another one... Dt is the worst Dt can happen if we have paid

.

Timekeeper:

3. a. The house is located in a ghetto like area in Ajah where the bathroom has no door and even the next person bathroom and people outside will know u r the one bathing. (bathroom fence not tall and no roof)

3.b. The toilet fence are so short that the next person can see u and u can see him/her while pooing cry cry cry. I love privacy and this kind life is not what I wished for.

So you mean on a good Saturday, you people cant gather small change after discussing the issue with caretaker/homeowner and no response?
Get 4×2 wood, one roofing sheet, kansha, nail, saw, hammer and hinge to make the toilet door yourself.
Start to be a man small small na ...

I can't fathom why you are even contemplating this arrangement at all!
You have to deal with your low standards and fear of the unknown. Whichever way, it's a risk not to take a risk.
If you raise your standard you'll surely get better accommodation.
Good luck with your job.

logic102:
Do not think of staying with her, she can leave you stranded halfway. Let me share with you a little experience of mine.
I was posted to ifo local govt in Ogun state for nysc, I didn't bring anything along except for my clothes and shoes. At the school I was posted to, I met a female corper and I explained my situation to her, she opted that we contributed together to buy food and gas( she bought gas cylinder, plates, and spoons from home) I took it as a kind gesture, we did everything together.

Getting to the third week, she came to me that we cannot cook together for no reason, she knows I was broke during that period. Till month-end, I was drinking garri because I had no money to buy gas cylinder..

Moral story: Never trust a woman

My roommate a guy in school did worst than this in 100lvl, since we could not separate cos of our parents relationship, it was hard to live apart until I decided to do things alone an on my terms, before people realized that the one who complains all through 100lvl was the faulty guy. My point is trust no human.
@op, let this option be the last of so many options suggested to you, and while at it expect the worst to happen at any damn time, in other words have a plan B or an escape plan as quick as you can if things go bad.

Timekeeper:


If we pay together, even if anyone must leave, certainly it can't be me... Las las she will take her properties away and I will try getting another one... Dt is the worst Dt can happen if we have paid

Is this what you have in mind if things go wrong, it is who agent or landlord knows that owns the house ooo, don't ever think she will park away for you. With this your mentality, it's better you don't even take the option at all.

cayorday89:

Is this what you have in mind if things go wrong, it is who agent or landlord knows that owns the house ooo, don't ever think she will park away for you. With this your mentality, it's better you don't even take the option at all.

Where shud I go.. No place for me bro

Efuaye:
I can't fathom why you are even contemplating this arrangement at all!
You have to deal with your low standards and fear of the unknown. Whichever way, it's a risk not to take a risk.
If you raise your standard you'll surely get better accommodation.
Good luck with your job.

I don't see how low standards relates to my post... I am saying the money to rent a place is what I can't afford

Timekeeper:


Where shud I go.. No place for me bro

Check my previous comment, if that is your only option, you can go stay with her, but like others say, be ready for anything and you must have a backup plan.
You alone know the lady, and how you guys relate, so it is left to you to decide.
Remember, na my best friend I can't do without him/her na when una never dey live together, when you start living together you will know many things that will want to make you stay away from such friends, not because he/she is bad but because you both have different background and see things differently.

logic102:


Moral story: Never trust a woman

That's just it, all these Virgina can never be trusted.
As for op, your write up is not well detailed, people dey go work from mainland to island, unless op is just a lazy ass niggar which I think he is

emmanuelbrown26:

That's just it, all these Virgina can never be trusted.
As for op, your write up is not well detailed, people dey go work from mainland to island, unless op is just a lazy ass niggar which I think he is

U r calling me lazy?

Me know wetin dey your mind... free knacking... But beware of unexpected missing period o!

Timekeeper:

U r calling me lazy?

Yes and I want u to use the name calling and prove yourself that u are not lazy.

Timekeeper:
I am based on the mainland and I recently came back from akwa Ibom where I did my youth service... I stay with my brother on mainland hoping to get a job and move out..

By God grace, there is possibility of me getting a Job on the island even though it is not yet concluded... Meanwhile the job will be on probation as I am currently being trained on it.

I have a lady Frnd Dt I met since last year, no sexual stuff btw us. We have just been friends. She stays on the island (ajah) and her rent is expired, though she didn't plan to continue living in That house. Our plan is Dt she is moving out and I will pay but recently she had some financial issues and wunt be able to move out again. So she suggested that we should pay another 1 year rent.

My concerns:
1. She is not really troublesome but sumtyms she is very stubborn. Anyway she is a Good lady sha.

2. Possibility Dt her sis will stay with us. I don't know much abt her sis and I don't want trouble.

3. a. The house is located in a ghetto like area in Ajah where the bathroom has no door and even the next person bathroom and people outside will know u r the one bathing. (bathroom fence not tall and no roof)

3.b. The toilet fence are so short that the next person can see u and u can see him/her while pooing . I love privacy and this kind life is not what I wished for..

4. The environment is notin to write about but I can cope...
.

What should I do? I don't intend rejecting this job due to lack of a good place to stay and I can't stay In mainland to be working in island which of course is still a probatory stuff.

Nairaland family, I am so confused right now......

Don't be a simp, man.