₦airaland Forum

walesoflyf:
Hmmm... For the first time, I'm reading something quite intelligible from you... You try...

Eriokanmi:
Keep low and you'd get who/what you want.

How many guys want to marry into one room apartment with a separate kitchen ? How many gals want to endure with a few men who wish to marry into a room apartment with the description above? Everyone is just chasing shadows. Men too are busy craving a lifestyle which is often a mirage, before they think of getting married.

In my case, once God approved of our union with proofs even from more than one man of God who barely knew each other, we proceeded. I married my wife into a room with a separate kitchen outside. Once it rained in those days , we'd be busy diverting erosion away from the kitchen.

Today, we've achieved everything man has come to earth to achieve. I've dined with world leaders including Barak Obama on a special invitation to Washington DC. As I type this message, I'm inspecting my new edifice in lagos (the best in the whole estate). God has also blessed us with intelligent and God-fearing children all in a boarding secondary school in one of the best schools in Lagos.

My salary was 11k while my wife's was almost same when we got married. Barely a year after we got married, I began to change jobs like clothes and always with official cars, brand new to cap it all.

Money isn't everything when it comes to marriage too otherwise, DJ Cuppy wouldn't have been looking upandan for blind dates. It's God's institution. Try it and see things fall in pleasant places for you. Pray for your own and it would come, don't look at that pocket before you take a decision on this.

Brightw278:
I disagree, marriage is not overatted, it has always been the building block that held our community together

Brightw278:
I was discussing with a friend of mine during one of his visits this past weekend, we talked about politics, football and a whole lot of interesting topics. We were in the middle of discussion when we tuned in into this popular reality tv series on dstv, “finding the one”. So we switched topic

I was trying to explain to him why we have many ladies looking for suitors in Nigeria and the main reason being this harsh economy. I told him no man would want to settle down until he has something to fall onto and has a good job that can sustain a family but my friend thinks otherwise.

He said the reason why some ladies get really old without suitors coming their way is because they must have ignored a lot of guys during their prime (20-28) and once reality set in they become desperate.

I told him I have a sister who is perfectly fine and doing well but good men ain’t just coming her way, but he just wouldn’t agree. I can’t believe people still think this way in this 21st century. He was telling me no matter your looks and all someone must approach you, I had to calm him down what if those coming your way ain’t even somebody you can settle with. Guess his reply? You just have to endure and get married like that.

This a guy went on for some hours before I just decided to call it a quit and told him we should just enjoy our football match.Personally to me I think nobody should be forced into marriage when he /she ain’t ready.

I just want to seek you guys opinion, he will also be on nairaland reading this. Should the sole reason of not being able to find suitors be attributed to youthful exuberance alone? Do girls who find it difficult to find a man must have been to choosy in the past? Your opinions will be highly appreciated

siofra:
I think it's love. People place too much value on finding romantic love. The media has set ridiculous standards for love. Everyone wants to experience that feeling of being in love (romantic love)

Some are not even ready to commit themselves and sacrifice. They just want people to love them. After all with the way media has shown it (thanks to romantic movies, novels and reality shows) it has to be a sweet, wonderful feeling.

Niiade:
Hell no to enduring, The main fact is there are three things involved for people like your sister.
1. She is avoiding or friend-zoned alot of the men that could or be suitable for her (he is short, doesnt have money, he doesnt have a matching executive job, etc etc all those classes we place good men into and seek them wrong men with non important factors)
2. She is attracting those wrong men, so she is a relection of what she is getting and cant blame those men for approaching as thats what she is giving off.
3. She is relaxed and waiting, Women esp those that we tag as loose are ready and are out there looking for men, good men to settle with and will go to place where they can be to get them. how much time does she spending socalizing or being in gathering of where responsible young men will be, or she is at home or working and expect to meet her suppose wonderful suitor there, she needs to get out there, be available, approachable and in some cases ask the guy out for a date or drinks, abi we are now modern no more green light, go for the man you like no time o. you think side chick get the men from working and sitting at home after work na they are out there.

Afriqan:
Even as a man, I sometimes feel for ladies, but you can't settle down out of pity.

It's majorly the economy that has prevented a lot of well meaning guys from settling down. A lot of Nigerian women will tell you they love you, but if there is no money, there won't be respect in the relationship, that's why most guys are just staying single nowadays.

FutureIsFemale:
[s][/s]It's the other way round. Men are the ones begging women for marriage. Some now prostrate to propose.

lalasticlala seun mynd44 Dominique justwise rule 2.

Brightw278:
likewise money, children, heaven and good things. People who see marriage as an achievement should be left alone

siofra:
I think it's love. People place too much value on finding romantic love. The media has set ridiculous standards for love. Everyone wants to experience that feeling of being in love (romantic love)

Some are not even ready to commit themselves and sacrifice. They just want people to love them. After all with the way media has shown it (thanks to romantic movies, novels and reality shows) it has to be a sweet, wonderful feeling.

naija1stnigar:
Let all girls especially those at their prime understand that being a materialist will dampen your chances of getting married at the right time and even to the right person.
All men relate with women according to the character they find in them, if a man sees materialism in a lady he will likely give her what she wants but use her to satisfy his sexual urge and dump her, but conversely, if he sees calmness and contentment in a girl he may start planning for marriage.
The truth behind every relationship that leads to marriage is that the character of the lady is what pushes a man into his conclusion.
When a young lady is cool headed and understands his partner even if he has nothing she will be free to enter into marriage with such a man because she knows he has what it takes to make it, and we've seen numerous couples around us who started from the scratch and became giants together.
Our ladies of nowadays are just something else, even me am afraid to approach them because I may feel inefficient before them, they may judge me by my present status, not seeing things the way am seeing it or not being ready to endure a little with me.
The bottom line therefore is that ladies should see beyond their present beauty, vitality and urge for materialism, they should begin to make choice by thorough understanding of what any guy is within and not without, believing in a man's vision and also having something to bring to the table in order to sustain your relationship, by doing so, I think we will have more legitimate and productive marriages, lesser percentage of children born out of wedlock, and more marriages happening within our society than before. Shalom!

Beebah2000:
Here to read comments

Afriqan:
Even as a man, I sometimes feel for ladies, but you can't settle down out of pity.

It's majorly the economy that has prevented a lot of well meaning guys from settling down. A lot of Nigerian women will tell you they love you, but if there is no money, there won't be respect in the relationship, that's why most guys are just staying single nowadays.

pocohantas:
In which country is this realistic? In this same Nigeria that you guys said women rush into marriage immediately after NYSC?

Y’all would speak from every hole in your body to defend whatever agenda you want.

Eriokanmi:
Keep low and you'd get who/what you want.

How many guys want to marry into one room apartment with a separate kitchen ? How many gals want to endure with a few men who wish to marry into a room apartment with the description above? Everyone is just chasing shadows. Men too are busy craving a lifestyle which is often a mirage, before they think of getting married.

In my case, once God approved of our union with proofs even from more than one man of God who barely knew each other, we proceeded. I married my wife into a room with a separate kitchen outside. Once it rained in those days , we'd be busy diverting erosion away from the kitchen.

Today, we've achieved everything man has come to earth to achieve. I've dined with world leaders including Barak Obama on a special invitation to Washington DC. As I type this message, I'm inspecting my new edifice in lagos (the best in the whole estate). God has also blessed us with intelligent and God-fearing children all in a boarding secondary school in one of the best schools in Lagos.

My salary was 11k while my wife's was almost same when we got married. Barely a year after we got married, I began to change jobs like clothes and always with official cars, brand new to cap it all.

Money isn't everything when it comes to marriage too otherwise, DJ Cuppy wouldn't have been looking upandan for blind dates. It's God's institution. Try it and see things fall in pleasant places for you. Pray for your own and it would come, don't look at that pocket before you take a decision on this.

Eriokanmi:
Keep low and you'd get who/what you want.

How many guys want to marry into one room apartment with a separate kitchen ? How many gals want to endure with a few men who wish to marry into a room apartment with the description above? Everyone is just chasing shadows. Men too are busy craving a lifestyle which is often a mirage, before they think of getting married.

In my case, once God approved of our union with proofs even from more than one man of God who barely knew each other, we proceeded. I married my wife into a room with a separate kitchen outside. Once it rained in those days , we'd be busy diverting erosion away from the kitchen.

Today, we've achieved everything man has come to earth to achieve. I've dined with world leaders including Barak Obama on a special invitation to Washington DC. As I type this message, I'm inspecting my new edifice in lagos (the best in the whole estate). God has also blessed us with intelligent and God-fearing children all in a boarding secondary school in one of the best schools in Lagos.

My salary was 11k while my wife's was almost same when we got married. Barely a year after we got married, I began to change jobs like clothes and always with official cars, brand new to cap it all.

Money isn't everything when it comes to marriage too otherwise, DJ Cuppy wouldn't have been looking upandan for blind dates. It's God's institution. Try it and see things fall in pleasant places for you. Pray for your own and it would come, don't look at that pocket before you take a decision on this.

Eriokanmi:
Keep low and you'd get who/what you want.

How many guys want to marry into one room apartment with a separate kitchen ? How many gals want to endure with a few men who wish to marry into a room apartment with the description above? Everyone is just chasing shadows. Men too are busy craving a lifestyle which is often a mirage, before they think of getting married.

In my case, once God approved of our union with proofs even from more than one man of God who barely knew each other, we proceeded. I married my wife into a room with a separate kitchen outside. Once it rained in those days , we'd be busy diverting erosion away from the kitchen.

Today, we've achieved everything man has come to earth to achieve. I've dined with world leaders including Barak Obama on a special invitation to Washington DC. As I type this message, I'm inspecting my new edifice in lagos (the best in the whole estate). God has also blessed us with intelligent and God-fearing children all in a boarding secondary school in one of the best schools in Lagos.

My salary was 11k while my wife's was almost same when we got married. Barely a year after we got married, I began to change jobs like clothes and always with official cars, brand new to cap it all.

Money isn't everything when it comes to marriage too otherwise, DJ Cuppy wouldn't have been looking upandan for blind dates. It's God's institution. Try it and see things fall in pleasant places for you. Pray for your own and it would come, don't look at that pocket before you take a decision on this.

HoneySwag:
You're very correct op. No man will want to get married when he hasn't gotten a sustainable source of income to cater for himself not to talk of a family. When ladies (28 and above) find it difficult in meeting their choice of man, is not because they've been selective in the past but because their criteria and standards have now increased (especially those working)
Another reason is that when it comes to marriage, looking for a partner to spend the rest of your life with is different from looking for someone you want to go into a casual relationship with that leads to nowhere. So in such situation, ladies take out time to look out for men that are husband material. In this case, money is not necessarily a priority but character and compatibility. (Just qmy thoughts)

pocohantas:
And who told you I am trying to “KEEP” a man?
Always forcing yourselves into the picture. For people who do not care about marriage, it is quite surprising. KEEP your fckeen selves.



Every day same topic. Few days back one was here to wail because his gf of 4 years broke up with him to marry another.

Brightw278:
I was discussing with a friend of mine during one of his visits this past weekend, we talked about politics, football and a whole lot of interesting topics. We were in the middle of discussion when we tuned in into this popular reality tv series on dstv, “finding the one”. So we switched topic

I was trying to explain to him why we have many ladies looking for suitors in Nigeria and the main reason being this harsh economy. I told him no man would want to settle down until he has something to fall onto and has a good job that can sustain a family but my friend thinks otherwise.

He said the reason why some ladies get really old without suitors coming their way is because they must have ignored a lot of guys during their prime (20-28) and once reality set in they become desperate.

I told him I have a sister who is perfectly fine and doing well but good men ain’t just coming her way, but he just wouldn’t agree. I can’t believe people still think this way in this 21st century. He was telling me no matter your looks and all someone must approach you, I had to calm him down what if those coming your way ain’t even somebody you can settle with. Guess his reply? You just have to endure and get married like that.

This a guy went on for some hours before I just decided to call it a quit and told him we should just enjoy our football match.Personally to me I think nobody should be forced into marriage when he /she ain’t ready.

I just want to seek you guys opinion, he will also be on nairaland reading this. Should the sole reason of not being able to find suitors be attributed to youthful exuberance alone? Do girls who find it difficult to find a man must have been to choosy in the past? Your opinions will be highly appreciated

TOPCRUISE:
Both of you are right. It's normal for ladies to be choosy when they are young with their sweet 16 looks. But atimes they overdo it. Many ladies wait for the kind of man they watch in Telemundo. When they are aged 32 they become nice because reality have set in.

pocohantas:
Yenyenyen! They ignored guys in their prime. But when your gf breaks up with you to marry a ready man, you will come crying on Nairaland.

Some of you here have been dating your gfs for years without marriage. If they leave you now, another wailing go start.

You marry early? All Naija women want is marriage. They don’t build themselves.

You say make you stand before marriage? Double wahala. Evening newspaper, borehole pussy. Edede! Who go marry this one?

Abeg make una getaut!