₦airaland Forum

Brightw278:
I was discussing with a friend of mine during one of his visits this past weekend, we talked about politics, football and a whole lot of interesting topics. We were in the middle of discussion when we tuned in into this popular reality tv series on dstv, “finding the one”. So we switched topic

I was trying to explain to him why we have many ladies looking for suitors in Nigeria and the main reason being this harsh economy. I told him no man would want to settle down until he has something to fall onto and has a good job that can sustain a family but my friend thinks otherwise.

He said the reason why some ladies get really old without suitors coming their way is because they must have ignored a lot of guys during their prime (20-28) and once reality set in they become desperate.

I told him I have a sister who is perfectly fine and doing well but good men ain’t just coming her way, but he just wouldn’t agree. I can’t believe people still think this way in this 21st century. He was telling me no matter your looks and all someone must approach you, I had to calm him down what if those coming your way ain’t even somebody you can settle with. Guess his reply? You just have to endure and get married like that.

This a guy went on for some hours before I just decided to call it a quit and told him we should just enjoy our football match.Personally to me I think nobody should be forced into marriage when he /she ain’t ready.

I just want to seek you guys opinion, he will also be on nairaland reading this. Should the sole reason of not being able to find suitors be attributed to youthful exuberance alone? Do girls who find it difficult to find a man must have been to choosy in the past? Your opinions will be highly appreciated

SmellySperm:
Marriage was not meant for everyone

FutureIsFemale:
[s][/s]It's the other way round. Men are the ones begging women for marriage. Some now prostrate to propose.

lalasticlala seun mynd44 Dominique justwise rule 2.

revolt:
Feminism. Feminism feminism... it destroyed the western women. Destroyed their marriage institution as men are no longer interested in marriage. Sexually liberated women and ofocs gave rise to babymamas everywhere and generally destroyed the quality of men who were raised by single mothers. It's also starting to creep into nigeria. Lagos is almost gone. It'll be a miracle to find a wife in lagos now. Nearly every chic is sexually liberated. As they call it. Synonym for promiscuity.

Eriokanmi:
Keep low and you'd get who/what you want.

How many guys want to marry into one room apartment with a separate kitchen ? How many gals want to endure with a few men who wish to marry into a room apartment with the description above? Everyone is just chasing shadows. Men too are busy craving a lifestyle which is often a mirage, before they think of getting married.

In my case, once God approved of our union with proofs even from more than one man of God who barely knew each other, we proceeded. I married my wife into a room with a separate kitchen outside. Once it rained in those days , we'd be busy diverting erosion away from the kitchen.

Today, we've achieved everything man has come to earth to achieve. I've dined with world leaders including Barak Obama on a special invitation to Washington DC. As I type this message, I'm inspecting my new edifice in lagos (the best in the whole estate). God has also blessed us with intelligent and God-fearing children all in a boarding secondary school in one of the best schools in Lagos.

My salary was 11k while my wife's was almost same when we got married. Barely a year after we got married, I began to change jobs like clothes and always with official cars, brand new to cap it all.

Money isn't everything when it comes to marriage too otherwise, DJ Cuppy wouldn't have been looking upandan for blind dates. It's God's institution. Try it and see things fall in pleasant places for you. Pray for your own and it would come, don't look at that pocket before you take a decision on this.

Aksnoopy:
I guess you are insinuating that you don't need a man in your life.

My dear sister, you sure need a "REAL" man in your life. Trust me!

FutureIsFemale:
[s][/s]It's the other way round. Men are the ones begging women for marriage. Some now prostrate to propose.

BigBashiru:
I've sexually liberated myself too. I'm still free even after marriage.

AutoChick4U:
When fate has written you'll marry in your 30s or 40s, no matter how you push in your 20s things won't fall in place. You push much, u may regret. Everyone got an appointed time.

FutureIsFemale:
[s][/s]
lalasticlala seun mynd44 Dominique justwise rule 2.

SmellySperm:
Marriage was not meant for everyone

SunnyOG738:
According to your doctor report

Brightw278:
I was discussing with a friend of mine during one of his visits this past weekend, we talked about politics, football and a whole lot of interesting topics. We were in the middle of discussion when we tuned in into this popular reality tv series on dstv, “finding the one”. So we switched topic

I was trying to explain to him why we have many ladies looking for suitors in Nigeria and the main reason being this harsh economy. I told him no man would want to settle down until he has something to fall onto and has a good job that can sustain a family but my friend thinks otherwise.

He said the reason why some ladies get really old without suitors coming their way is because they must have ignored a lot of guys during their prime (20-28) and once reality set in they become desperate.

I told him I have a sister who is perfectly fine and doing well but good men ain’t just coming her way, but he just wouldn’t agree. I can’t believe people still think this way in this 21st century. He was telling me no matter your looks and all someone must approach you, I had to calm him down what if those coming your way ain’t even somebody you can settle with. Guess his reply? You just have to endure and get married like that.

This a guy went on for some hours before I just decided to call it a quit and told him we should just enjoy our football match.Personally to me I think nobody should be forced into marriage when he /she ain’t ready.

I just want to seek you guys opinion, he will also be on nairaland reading this. Should the sole reason of not being able to find suitors be attributed to youthful exuberance alone? Do girls who find it difficult to find a man must have been to choosy in the past? Your opinions will be highly appreciated

pocohantas:
Na by force to need you? Shebi men don’t benefit from marriage?



Oga, local carpenters are married.
Gatemen are married.
Agbo sellers have husbands.

Our gateman showed me his “wife” a week ago. A young fine girl. Go and marry someone like her!

SmartGadgetz:
Hey miss. You tend to have a bad approach to discussions, you see comments as persons attacking you.

brainhack:
Nothing is written unless you write it.

pocohantas:
Go and marry alata!! She would be glad to marry you.

Brightw278:
I was discussing with a friend of mine during one of his visits this past weekend, we talked about politics, football and a whole lot of interesting topics. We were in the middle of discussion when we tuned in into this popular reality tv series on dstv, “finding the one”. So we switched topic

I was trying to explain to him why we have many ladies looking for suitors in Nigeria and the main reason being this harsh economy. I told him no man would want to settle down until he has something to fall onto and has a good job that can sustain a family but my friend thinks otherwise.

He said the reason why some ladies get really old without suitors coming their way is because they must have ignored a lot of guys during their prime (20-28) and once reality set in they become desperate.

I told him I have a sister who is perfectly fine and doing well but good men ain’t just coming her way, but he just wouldn’t agree. I can’t believe people still think this way in this 21st century. He was telling me no matter your looks and all someone must approach you, I had to calm him down what if those coming your way ain’t even somebody you can settle with. Guess his reply? You just have to endure and get married like that.

This a guy went on for some hours before I just decided to call it a quit and told him we should just enjoy our football match.Personally to me I think nobody should be forced into marriage when he /she ain’t ready.

I just want to seek you guys opinion, he will also be on nairaland reading this. Should the sole reason of not being able to find suitors be attributed to youthful exuberance alone? Do girls who find it difficult to find a man must have been to choosy in the past? Your opinions will be highly appreciated

valves:
You need to understand intersexual dynamics. ladies (and guys too) have a timeline, but most are oblivious of it until much later in life when it's almost too late.

Ladies are at their peak period when they are between ages 18-24 (for some it extends to 26). At this stage they are approached by all kinds of guys, obviously because they are young and beautiful, but this attention they get makes them to feel like they are on top of the world, like goddesses and gifts to humanity. Among those approaching at this stage are people who genuinely want to settle with them for life, but they are not ready to forgo all the attention they are getting from the other guys. They basically want to explore and date different people.

When they approach ages btw 28-34 they realise that they are no longer as attractive as they used to be and are not getting the attention of guys as before (this is the epiphany stage). Then they become desperate to settle down but most guys/suitors have already gotten married or switched their attention to much younger ladies. So the top guys they were interested in during their peak period are no longer available to them. Most ladies at this stage will still adamantly refuse to lower their standards and settle for someone who isn't (in their minds) "up to their (unrealistic) standards", and they keep aging while waiting for "Mr Perfect."

For guys the story is different. Guys peak around 32-36 years. At this age they have worked very hard and made money, are financially independent and ready to settle. But most of them will settle for ladies who are younger (ladies in their 20s), only a handful will go for ladies in their 30s.

Also, our generation is losing it. Some ladies find it hard to keep a man because they do not know their roles as women. They have consciously or unconsciously become hard-core feminist. Reality is most men don't want to settle with such ladies.

Summary is no lady will truthfully say that guys (well-intentioned guys) never approached them in their twenties (peak period). But they are on top of the world at this stage and belive they have all the time in the world and can attract anyone just because they are young and beautiful.

If you are a lady in your 20s (especially mid 20s) pls while you are getting all the attention from guys try and identify a potential suitor to settle down with. The older you get the more difficult it becomes.

SmartGadgetz:
Who is alata?

pocohantas:
Pepper seller. (No disrespect to them)

SmartGadgetz:
You are talking out of context.
Meanwhile, everyone is beautiful.

pocohantas:
I am showing you women that would appreciate your 1k. Go propose to them.