Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

You will be fine!

Trust me!

But your kids growing up without a fatherly figure, will forever have a psychological impact on them.

The brunt of divorce is bared by the kids. You and their father will be fine.

hmmm.

How about living for Jesus Chris? Try it and you won't regret.

Just make sure u remarry. You will be fine . Keep urself beautiful

obiekunie01:
hmmm.

How about living for Jesus Chris? Try it and you won't regret.

Hmmmmm!
Seem you are being sarcastic and imitating what the Op have on her profile.

signature2012:


In your mind,you have given her an advice.
People like you need to grow up and not always drag religion to every ish.

He ain't smart..I wonder what concerns Jesus with what she said..

obiekunie01:
hmmm.

How about living for Jesus Chris? Try it and you won't regret.

Someone is seeking advice and you are bringing your Jesus...this is physical and needs physical solution..Jesus have no business here..

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

In Naija,that’s the reality.You just have to over look many things and face your life.
It won’t be easy at all.Having 3 kids below age 10 will be a lot of work.
Last last,you will be fine .

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

What shame?what mockery huh..?
Are you trying to please brainless persons or what?
Let them talk live your life..you are bothering yourself unnecessarily..
** am a single mum of **** so I see no big deal there..

Now coming to solution are the kids gonna be in your custody or his?look life as a divorced woman is quite strenuous..from stereotype to being alone to your mental health to the daft society who are always gonna criticize you..

Just get hold of yourself and wave it off..as a divorced woman I bet you gonna be more self confident.. productive and enjoy your life more..follow your passion and take care of yourself properly.. welcome to the club of unlimited merriment..

Nothing fun there in nigeria. To find love again will be hard, when konji hold you na small boys around you go dey nack in secret . Men and woman abeg let your marriage work

ednut1:
Nothing fun there in nigeria. To find love again will be hard, when konji hold you na small boys around you go dey nack in secret . Men and woman abeg let your marriage work

Rest before you go derail this thread with your myopic mindset..tell that to her husband not her..na by force to marry?

HacheNoire:
You will be fine!

Trust me!

But your kids growing up without a fatherly figure, will forever have a psychological impact on them.

The brunt of divorce is bared by the kids. You and their father will be fine.

Divorce does not mean that the father will stop being a father.

He no easy oo, but you will be fine.
You are even taking a bold step trying to hear from people its good.

Hmmmm.....no apparent shame or mockery unless you go telling the people you're divorce. Most people would assume that you are married or your husband is out of town. The issue will be when you start dating again, people that know you would wonder why you are following a guy you're not married to....they will assume you're cheating.

Biko move to another apartment, change jobs if you can, change your wardrobe, learn some new things and start afresh. Life will go on....good luck.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

it appears you really didn't want a divorce. So why didn't you work things out.

Become busy...learn how to bake cake. You will be fine.

Hello,
First of all i salute your courage for been able to come out and ask for advice, been a divorcee can be challenging for a woman in typical Nigerian society however i see you forging ahead since you are not afraid, you will have to work very hard let be honest having a kid is not that easy not to talk of 3kids, may I asked you did you request for child support in court while you filing for divorce through your lawyer because you will need child support from your kids father, it's either it's paid in weekly or monthly and its has to be something substaining for you and your kids.

Secondly you have to either work twice or get a business that will help you finance your kids financial burden without you being a burden to your friends and family at this moment Nigeria economy is not smiling at all, it's not easy out there trust me people will give assurance not worry that they will support you it's all a lie no one cares everybody is struggling to survive now in Nigeria. aside yahoo plus boys and ritualist, and politicians.

You will have to sit down a make a plan on how you intend to provide for your kids every month, your house rent, feeding, school fees, extra school needs, what kids of now are days can't do without like bobo, biscuits, sweets and stuffs. Let me be honest with you it's not going to be easy I know of a divorcee with kids it's not an easy task, but with God on your side you will be fine at the end. You will need support you will need assistance and you will your immediate family around you if it's only you it would have been better having to take care of kids in Nigeria of today is like climbing Mount Everest because of their excessive demands, they keep calling Mummy we want this we want that!! You have to be firm with your kids, at the same don't be too rigid and don't be too gentle when applying discipline where necessary at the same time montior them they could embrassed you if your not careful cos when they go hungry they could expose you unintentionally to your next neighbour cos at that moment what they cared about is there belly as its possible if you don't arrived from work in time for them to go and into your next neighbour house will not be a thing of shame to them afterall they have friends as next neighbour. Restrict them from collecting things from strangers, monitor them very well to avoid sexual pedophiles who could take advantage of no father figure in their lives. Provide quality to ensure they do their home work and take their studies seriously.

On a final note be you a Christian or Muslim ensure they observed prayers and good home moral training it's well with you.

HacheNoire:
You will be fine!

Trust me!

But your kids growing up without a fatherly figure, will forever have a psychological impact on them.

The brunt of divorce is bared by the kids. You and their father will be fine.

hummm..u are right

Better guy no dey out there jare...if you have better work to take care of your children.... That mean you will have to forget konji for a very long time,some guy there are after fuckmate

Your location comes into play here.

In Nigeria, its not gonna be easy for you. Initially, people will sympathize with you but later you will hear things like that's why she couldn't stay in her husband's house and etc.

If in the western world its a lot easier.

You can relocate to another state if in Nigeria and if you have the financial wherewithal.

Where you based?

Divorce can be pretty expensive
It's fine you have been separated for a while...u won't feel abandoned

They may likely share 2kids under ur custody
the third may join you if your Exhubby is too busy to take care of kids

He will get time to spend with them and you can't deny him by law..

He will take care of their expenses from school fee, feeding and other amenities..

Don't expect anything from him...he doesn't owe you nothing anymore

You may likely get some part of his properties, depends on how the law stands in ur present location...

Move on and you will find your new man

Make dis a lesson and let it help you build your next home...don't repeat any mistakes and all will be well


Goodluck

It is well. Just love yourself. See if you can reconcile things with your husband.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Nothing too different. Just move on with your life. After all na only you waka come. Though just make sure that their pops man still pays a role in their life cos children of nowadays no dey hear word..

It is well sister. The Lord is your strength. Let your children be your motivation. Be focused on them and please don't let them hate their father.

If there is a way to remain in that marriage...work it out and remain....you guys don't know the psychology effect it will have on the children.... U really don't know

....depends on what led to the separation.

Please consider the children.

DM me for Any Assistance you so desire... I'm based in Lagos.. Cute and Highly recommended..

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

May God help you ohh. Sometimes I wonder how and why couples who were ecstatic a couple of years or weeks ago about marriage, go through the hurdles of multiple weddings and enjoy night after night of marital consummation but yet turn out to be the worst of enemies of each other later. It's amazing and mind boggling.

Nowadays when I see couples happy during their wedding day I just feel indifferent because I can guess that 2 years down the line they will start regretting that they ever met.

Pastors and clergymen that join couples in holy matrimony need to thoroughly question intending couples about their motives, hidden fantasies and desires, ambitions, beliefs, philosophies, secrets and other factors hidden at the time of wedding that could destroy the marriage. I believe divorces are rooted in or caused by matters of the past and that most couples get so carried away by the chemistry and prospects of a married life that they forget to settle the core matters that could lead to a divorce.

OP! You may need counsel from others that have experienced divorce!