So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? - Family (6) - Nairaland
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Moving On With Life After Divorce. How Do You Cope? / I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. / "My Wife’s Beauty Makes Me Sleepless, I Want A Divorce" - Zimbabwea Man To Judge (2) (3) (4)
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| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by BlackyOne: 9:03am On Jan 08, 2022 |
Optimistic4life: 1. Nobody is going to shame or mock you except you have a bad character and you're the major contributing factor for the divorce 2. Except the court decides otherwise, you're not raising the kids alone, they can stay with either parent and still get time with/visitations from the other parent, and the court also will decide on how the kids will be provided for. 3. You can still decide to get married if you meet someone who is willing to settle down with you. Just move on either way! 2 Likes |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by vickydevoka(m): 9:03am On Jan 08, 2022 |
HacheNoire:Exactly! If de can divorce friendly , it's good. Bill gate n how wife divorced friendly. Same with Jeff bezos. Divorce doesn't mean they hate each other, just that their differences can't be balanced. Staying understand desame roof with such condition is emotional disastrous 4 Likes |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by jumper524(m): 9:03am On Jan 08, 2022 |
Optimistic4life:if your first child is a son, become friends with him and it'll be fine.. |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by vickydevoka(m): 9:03am On Jan 08, 2022 |
HacheNoire:Exactly! If de can divorce friendly , it's good. Bill gate n his wife divorced friendly. Same with Jeff bezos. Divorce doesn't mean they hate each other, just that their differences can't be balanced. Staying understand desame roof with such condition is emotional disastrous |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by FERNANDEZISBACK: 9:03am On Jan 08, 2022 |
Myexdisturbs:Ok.. |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by mybiz234: 9:03am On Jan 08, 2022 |
kmcutez: Please, who told you this rubbish? |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by FERNANDEZISBACK: 9:03am On Jan 08, 2022 |
RPG2020:Ok.. |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by Lexusgs430: 9:04am On Jan 08, 2022 |
Optimistic4life: Remain optimistic, look after yourself and your kids...... If love comes knocking, give it a chance(with caution) !!!!! Be an achiever, so when your ex see's you..... He would regret his decision.... That makes you a true winner.... 1 Like |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by Buskynwa: 9:05am On Jan 08, 2022 |
Kokoebapluse: @optimistic4life Please take this advice, it's the best, for both you,the kids and the dad I promise you .... I have an aunt who is a divorcee with 3 kids, it's not easy out there for her. |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by SmartMen: 9:06am On Jan 08, 2022 |
Optimistic4life: I am sorry about your situation and I only want to talk about the emboldened. Do not overthink it. See this as a way to grow more and accomplish more. I know it is not going to be easy and I know it will be hard with aches. What I will suggest is that you should not let this situation cage you. You grow, you can become better. You can acquire new skills that will open new doors of opportunity for you and your kids. If you are confused about that, please when you have the time, enroll for courses on Udemy.com or use YouTube to learn more so that you can have better finances to take care of your kids and live a happier life. I just want you to know that you have a better future. 2 Likes |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by Nobody: 9:08am On Jan 08, 2022 |
If divorce means you escaped with your life then God be with you you’ll be okay. People don’t understand marrying a Nigerian man is like signing up for the navy or army your either recruited celebrated and advanced or rejected or maybe he loved you in the beginning and so they promoted you but then 2 weeks later yes that’s how long it can take to just break your vows you are summoned and sent to some far of Distance into the jungle to fight imaginary war alone. 9 times out of 10 it’s the location dispatcher woman you discover your man is sleeping with that’s why the place is far and full of mosquitos just imagine the kind of love we had in those days no twitter trend just telegram of I’m not coming which May end up being for your own good in the long run. Love is wonderful without cruel intentions those ones be happy they go Sometimes I argue with love and he’ll refer to my parents divorce lol children do need both parents but a decent example of love, faith and trust is important to every child. There’s no point repeating the child hood you had strive to work together but sometimes it’s like those paddling boats at whispering palms some people are paddling in the wrong direction so instead of the boat to move it’s standstill so now paddle your boat without the confusion. 3 Likes |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by kansoboy: 9:08am On Jan 08, 2022 |
Madam I have already been divorced long ago..since u have been saparated for months, All I will tell u is this: is not goin to be easy for u have over 3 kids to take care of, if no kid or just one kid, then I can say ride on, but u see 3kids? U will be stressed out, forget about remarrying for a very long time, as most men that will come around u making adavances and telling u sweet things just only want to have sex with u an run. If your family members are giving u mind to get on with the divorce process, remember that sooner or later those family members will start mking Mockery of u and Ur failed Marriage, then depression will set in for u. Divorce is not easy for women worst of all woman with kids in this Africa cum NIGERIA. My humble opinion, think it out well for the divorce process, I would have said, if the problem is reconciliable, please go and reconcile, if it takes you to go and beg this so husband or go to his family, look for who he respect most and let the person go with you to beg him and reconcile. That a man: Cheats Womanise Sleep outside Is not a enough reason to leave your marriage, because the next holy man u see out is going to still cheat. If you are the sturborn type and believe the man can go to hell and u don't need husband......think again. Arrive is all about sacrifice, as a mother or father(husband or wife) u must sacrifice every thing possible for the sake of your children. However, you alone will face what ever that come after Ur divorce good or bad. Do not compare Ur mairrage / divorce with d present yeyebrities that marry today and divorce tomorrow, and still marry again to divorce again...those ones are purely ashawos and okpoh they are into. Goodluck 10 Likes |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by OmoOshodi(m): 9:08am On Jan 08, 2022 |
Tell us wetin you do If it's due to being promiscuous .... then getat 1 Like
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| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by oakson: 9:10am On Jan 08, 2022 |
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| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by Psoul(m): 9:10am On Jan 08, 2022 |
Optimistic4life: It is not always easy for the female gender coping with divorce especially in Africa. Once there is a divorce, everyone believes that the problem is from the woman. She is a disobedient and arrogant woman. Outside this, other problems that may hit a divorced woman is financial issues. Handling the family alone, where children are involved. Also, the woman becomes vulnerable. Like a woman her protective shield has been removed from her. You see men approaching her without restrictions, making some silly demands from her unlike wen they will have the fear of her husband when she was still married. This can be a very difficult thing for the woman to handle, especially for those that care about their dignity. There is also this feelings of loneliness. The nostalgic feeling of bn cared for and not the one running around for virtually everything. Sometimes, you will need someone very dear to talk to especially that midnight talks and caring. Coping wt this is more easier for men than women. When the divorce finally comes, take your time to grieve about it. There is no shame in doing that. Even if you are the one pushing for a divorce, I believe there must be things you will miss about ur ex. Grieve if it is necessary. Wake up and move on. Don't build up your heart with lots of hatred about him. This will prolong your healing time. Learn to move on without hatred. Don't try to behave as if you are in competition wt him to show who is more pained or things like dat. Just go ahead and live your normal life. Try as much as possible to go out and make more money. Financial independence makes the journey easier. Once you are broke, you will start looking back to those days he was there for u and your pains will multiply. Make money. Go out more. Make good friends. Look your best and talk about your situation to very close and reliable friends or families. Don't let anyone start feeding you bad news about your ex. This may also have negative effect on you. Take your time and start dating once again. Finally, if there is a way to avert this divorce, it will be the best option unless if what brought about it is kind of irreconcilable. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by meetme01: 9:10am On Jan 08, 2022 |
Optimistic4life: Custody of the kids with their ages will be awarded to you except the kids or any of them want to stay with their father. Though,court don't support such separation because of their growth. So, the development of the kids if what you need to work upon Are you a working class lady? If yes, it will be tedious depending on your job though. Civil Servant much still liberal, Private firm very difficult and self employed,no problem The court will certainly award some amount of money has upkeep and the father would be responsible for the school fees. All that is required from you is to give access and also support the kids. Ma'am, don't rely on all these upkeep money,it's can never be enough so, work hard to raise up the kids. If you still have aged parents, that's another avenue you can use for their development Most importantly, you now have the all the time to yourself. Body no be firewood. Ensure you are smart about it and weigh options before getting into another marriage of having a baby. I'd advise you don't have more but be smart in keeping the body fit. |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by Tallesty1(m): 9:11am On Jan 08, 2022 |
Ihavethingstodo:Why God no see her through in marriage? I thought they said that he hates divorce. Nigerians sha, someone said that her husband served her "I no do again notice" and some of you are already calling the man names. Nobody gives a dam about what he's been through. SMH |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by Heavance(m): 9:11am On Jan 08, 2022 |
I can't even advice. I just hope and pray a lot of young people are reading the comments, to know its nit about how fine the pre-wedding pictures are (which sometimes turn post-wedding pics), or how fine the uniform (aso-ebi) cloth is, or how big the day is.... I think people need to be asked serious questions, questions about life before they get into it.... Questions like, what if you find out your wife/husband is cheating after 2 years of marriage, what would you do? What if your husband /wife is so disrespectful after 2 years of getting married? What happens if another women turned up that she is pregnant for your man? What if he/she is the type that reports everything in the house to his/her family, without regards? What happens if he/she becomes abusive? What happens if he/she becomes so lazy that they don't get involved in house chores, and dirty habits sets in? What if life happens and one is hospitalised? What if life happens and financial aspect is really affected that to eat becomes a problem? What happens if your wife change and your siblings and mother are not comfortable coming to your house anymore? What happens if your wife and your mom are not on good terms? What happens when you are not crazy about each other again, when those energy for love has vanished, what do you think next? Then finally they should think, what could lead them to divorce? I believe these questions will help all young people know what they are going into, and know how to tackle whatever wants to damage their home...those questions are the reason for those plenty talk of in sickness in health.... Forget all the fasting and prayers, leave religion out of it, these questions are reality check.... In fact, it happens after 1 year of the wedding, check many homes, this things happen steadily. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by sgtponzihater1(m): 9:14am On Jan 08, 2022 |
Divorce is a sad one, but it's not the end of the world. As long as you didn't commit a crime, keep your head up and do what you can. Life is fleeting, and in heaven many of these things would not matter. All the best |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by vickydevoka(m): 9:15am On Jan 08, 2022 |
obiekunie01:Women this days don't believe in church, the believe in Instagram or social media. They have their role models their. 90% of lady act the same. |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by tradepunter: 9:15am On Jan 08, 2022 |
FERNANDEZISBACK: And will miss s** also.... See ehn forget all the rosey party. It's hella of stressful because every guy from young to old would just wanna chop and go. Reason because they see no Future in prolonging such relationship, if any is formed. Also that father figure is another essential part, the children will miss that component. My advice is the father should be active in their lives.... It's a very complex place to be in as a woman. |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by easzypeaszy(m): 9:15am On Jan 08, 2022 |
Hathor5:it can't be Oga..we men are somhw..som1 like me if I stop loving der mother n we divorced I won be free wt d kids n may not visit sef..I fit dey send money..unless d kids r undr my watch..Men most attach feelings to wht dey see not hear |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by vickydevoka(m): 9:16am On Jan 08, 2022 |
madone:Who will be with the kids? U go gree allow 3 kids for your new home . Not even 1. |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by FERNANDEZISBACK: 9:16am On Jan 08, 2022 |
tradepunter:I understand you perfectly and you made complete sense.. |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by Spherical77(m): 9:16am On Jan 08, 2022 |
Saintinoo:Lol and you think only men divorce their wife ba? Statistically, women are the highest initiators of divorce if you don't know 1 Like |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by Willie2015: 9:16am On Jan 08, 2022 |
Optimistic4life: It,s hard .... cold.... And a lonely path.... Plz stick with God and prayers in this season... God is the father of the fatherless and protector of the Widows.. He will direct your steps and hold your hands when you stumble, And you will not fall IJN. |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by Wumex91: 9:17am On Jan 08, 2022 |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by President2001(m): 9:19am On Jan 08, 2022 |
Optimistic4life: |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by vickydevoka(m): 9:20am On Jan 08, 2022 |
FERNANDEZISBACK:UNLIMITED MERRIMENT. many women love this club |
| Re: So I Am Getting A Divorce... How Do I Adjust? by MumuYorubaBoy: 9:21am On Jan 08, 2022 |
Optimistic4life: There's no shame. The primary challenge is coping with kids alone. But where the ex husband wasn't around originally, you can always adjust like you've been doing before now. Live positively and trust yourself. It really matters. Also have a means of livelihood. |
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