₦airaland Forum

martinmiller:
As worst as it is, we still have decent ladies and men out there. Jus that the percentage is little.

The female factors have seen relationship as business as usual, it is due to poverty and lack. Have you noticed make over now sells unlike before.

I can tell you for free, over 70% of ladies are not marriageable, I have meet a lady, initially I asked are out, she asked me, do I have another car apart from the one I drive, she ask if I have a project ongoing?, etc I am like what da f**CK and so concluded that if I don't have anything close to that then she is not interested.

And so, this is the case ! I think there is still true love but it is rare. Like have said relationship to many Nigerian ladies is business while they think giving you sex they are doing you a favour ..

However, it is the mentality. What they think and how they see things. Poverty nah bastard can you see what it as caused nation. Many female factors are into 4-6 relationship and so how do you explain that ?..

A lady i had great respect for also asked me this within few minutes ur paths crossed : " if I have a project ongoing " I don't think it's gold-digging or greed. I think people just want to ook out for themselves. Anyways, it ended the blissful would-have been relationship on the spot.

I wondered how a lady i assumed so decent would ask me of my projects in just few minutes of knowing me. It ended us. But, we men too need to relax

Vivonose:
God is love, once God is involved in your relationship, it would stand the test of time

The biblical God is certainly not a good example of a good , tender ,loving and enduring relationship.
God says love me or I'll throw you into hellfire.
The definition of toxic relationship.

Ussycool:
Some guys double date that is why they ain't commited and lack honesty. It is disgusting that some ladies out there are carbon copy of characters you point out.

Look debby, pray over things when your relationship is summersaulting. Men are turning to something else, imagine some guys claiming that MARRIAGE is a scam. How then do you think they will take relationship serious?

You actually spoke a bit wide off that Mark or surely not conversant with the current realities. You claim guys double date? If you are not married mornitor your gf to discover your fellow comrades in the circle. A virtuous woman which you have almost generously attributed to all women is limited to one in four million women.

As for marriage, in reality marriage is a scam for men. Women majorly marry for personal gain. Reason why no average woman will marry a broke guy.

BigBashiru:
The truth is that polygamy and hypergamy are animal behavior and they cannot be stopped, but they need to be practiced in a disciplined manner and with a conscience.

Exactly, hence I hammered on the concept of "deregulation of the sexual marketplace". What we have is purely romantic capitalism that is brutal, with no democratic elements to it. Its basically sexual oligarchy, survival of the richest, where you have to be rich first, and she wish you'll be a good person, and to be beautiful and hot first, then he wish she will make a good wife.

We never see anything yet. To guess what is yet to come, take a look at relationships in the African American communities, they are the first in this journey of decadence. To predict the future, the past is a good place go start.

We all need prayers let thy lord pick 4 us

pansophist:
Exactly, hence I hammered on the concept of "deregulation of the sexual marketplace". What we have is purely romantic capitalism that is brutal, with no democratic elements to it. Its basically sexual oligarchy, survival of the richest, where you have to be rich first, and she wish you'll be a good person, and to be beautiful and hot first, then he wish she will make a good wife.

We never see anything yet

What a gloomy depiction. Hence, we pretend to keep ourselves for the richest while we sleep around along the way Btw, I got word from some of my hommies that in a number of cities across Europe and countries like Spain, if a guy is not a footballer, beautiful ladies won't reason them

pansophist:
For women, it's hypergamy on steriods. They may have boyfriend, even a husband, but his validity ends when a better (understand it as richer) dude shows up, she will dump the boyfriend, or cheat if she is married. Her loyalty, commitment is conditional, for better for stay, for worse for astray. It's exactly what Naira Marley meant when he said "she is not your girlfriend, it's just your turn".

For men, its destructive polygamy. For example, traditional polygamy holds such polygamous men to husbandry responsibilities and by law, he has to fulfil legal, parental, and paternal duties to the children/wives. But now, a man may even be married to one, but have unlimited mistress and no responsibility towards them either, basically ejaculate and evacuate, the women are merely a tool.

Tit for Tat! Do me I do you! Quid pro pro!

Hypergamy and Polygamy will remain here till the end of time.

I only find it foolish that most people don't know on which side of the divide they stand. It's just delusion.

As a man, know your babe might move on once she gets a guy with better status or she might not date you in the first pace if she feels you're not at a certain level.

As a lady, know that the rich guy you're dating and wanting to tie down has many options outside too (Prettier, curvier and smarter), no be only you get eyes for good things. So be content with position number one and stop worrying over nothing.

I believe once people come to terms with these, all these gnashing and wailing will reduce. Abegi!

Only reason we have complains on these thread is because somehow people expect their case to be different.

Once you know what to expect, you'll be less disappointed.

Yeah

.

DoctorOlasDesk:
A lady i had great respect for also asked me this within few minutes ur paths crossed : " if I have a project ongoing " I don't think it's gold-digging or greed. I think people just want to ook out for themselves. Anyways, it ended the blissful would-have been relationship on the spot.

I wondered how a lady i assumed so decent would ask me of my projects in just few minutes of knowing me. It ended us. But, we men too need to relax

I won't agree it to be gold-digging either but it sounds stupid to the hear instead of asking after those material thing, "have you at considered if we are compatible" and besides my father told me when he married my mother he doesn't even own a bike (okada)

However, we are all well trained and brought up accordingly, look, the society is getting porous by this idea that if I must marry I must marry a rich man. Meanwhile, many of them ha destined to start small and build the marriage. I know a lady friend who can't cook a decent meal, my cooking skills is over 90% beta than her own and the good news is that she is getting married soon ..

Due to our closeness she is taking cooking classes from me amdst other things I can't open here. In saner climes things are done differently, the ladies here are lecherous.

pansophist:
Yes o, hence I said Nigeria is probably at the middle stage of this decadence, the zenith haven't even be reached yet and people are complaining already. Weak ass people

I see it all the time I come to Nigeria. Girls with boyfriends even fiancé, will want to upgrade from them to me or my friends, and one technique they always use is that they try to rush you, give you a timeline/deadline because they want to be sure they don't miss out if one doesn't respond as desired. It's so brutal outside. But there is a way out, because with every closing, there is a opening elsewhere.

The antidote for men and women is to date equally. As a rule of thumb, she he/she must be able to achieve more or less anything you can give her/him. If you're a millionaire, date a millionaire like you, then the chances of one person using the other significantly decreases. Relationship have evolve, and you're doing yourself a disservice if you do not evolve with it.

I'm short of words. I find an idea I recently have come to embrace in your comment. In attaining and achieving more, mehn can " steal away " whom they find attractive for relationships and by so, " leveraging " on one's personal strengths, resources and advantages. After all if love is for sale, they a buy should buy. WE MUST NOW ALL USE WHAT WE HAVE

Raalsalghul:
Tit for Tat! Do me I do you! Quid pro pro!

Hypergamy and Polygamy will remain here till the end of time.

I only find it foolish that most people don't know on which side of the divide they stand. It's just delusion.

As a man, know your babe might move on once she gets a guy with better status or she might not date you in the first pace if she feels you're not at a certain level.

As a lady, know that the rich guy you're dating and wanting to tie down has many options outside too (Prettier, curvier and smarter), no be only you get eyes for good things. So be content with position number one and stop worrying over nothing.

I believe once people come to terms with these, all these gnashing and wailing will reduce. Abegi!

Only reason we have complains on these thread is because somehow people expect their case to be different.

Once you know what to expect, you'll be less disappointed.

Them suppose give any woman wey break your heart the noble peace prize, because with what you wrote, youre cruising on a messianic level. To break your heart no possible. Lol. you didn't only swallowed, but you sniffed, smoked, licked, inhaled, chew, vaped and masticate one red capsule like that. Your eye don tear scatter

Ignorance in life generally is dangerous, as you'll be a victim to any malevolent folks that sees you as a lunch, so yes, men especially are kinda ignorant compare to women who are more social, perceptive and intuitive naturally. A man while engaged in the lovey dovey of romance, must make sure he is not carried away and his eyes sharpened with the dynamics that underpins romance in the 21st century.

It shall be well with you

Angelfrost:
Even a lot of the married ones are seriously tired... Many are thinking of how to get the hell out.

The truth remains that you can't give what you don't have... How can you give another true love when you don't truly love and value yourself.

Everything is Buhari's fault. How can you truly love is this insane climate? When sun will be frying your brain cells? Let's tell ourselves the truth, love comes from a place of comfort.

Are you single or into serious relationship?

debbydams:
Dating pool is now a mess right now, a big mess. If you are already married, God has saved you. If you are in a serious relationship with someone who's goin to marry you, you are very luck lucky.

A lot of us are in relationships but single, you think you are dating someone but the person is not even dating you. I think we need to talk about how damaged alot of us are, how materialistic we have become, how sex obsessed most of us are, how selfish?

"I deserve the best" yes you are but while you deserve the best , is your partner getting the best as well?

Our generation is just too selfish.
It is always about 'you'

You want your partner to accept you the way you are but you are a bag of negativity and emotional liability, you are unstable, you are selfish, you don't look inside, you never tell yourself the truth and you want your partner to accept you when you are not even ready to change.

But you want people to change for you but you're not willing to change for them in return. Isn't that selfishness?

No sincerity, No commitment, No honesty, No love, just expectations without reciprocation.

We keep blaming our partners for our mistakes..

There's no day we won't hear about divorce, domestic violence, bf killing gf, gf stabbing bf ,

How long will this continue?

It's tiring

#Lalasticla

Datikwerreboi:
I rightfully understand u. I wanted to initiate a friendship with one uniport babe like that , do you know what she said ? I should give her money first. That was back then in 2019

Lol

E choke

DoctorOlasDesk:
I'm short of words. I find an idea I recently have come to embrace in your comment. In attaining and achieving more, mehn can " steal away " whom they find attractive for relationships and by so, " leveraging " on one's personal strengths, resources and advantages. After all if love is for sale, they a buy should buy. WE MUST NOW ALL USE WHAT WE HAVE

Depends if we are talking about long-term or shirt term relationships. Generally yes with short term but if you're in for the long run, then it should be more than that. The women need compensate somewhere/somehow.

Kobojunkie:
Did you properly read and digest what the OP wrote there? You want a committed relationship but are you commitment worthy or are you yourself simply looking for someone to throw your baggage at who will not complain aka accept you for who you are while you don't reciprocate the sentiment?

If you had read what I wrote you wouldn't be asking me such an irrelevant question... read and assimilate, digest it properly and you will understand...

What I wrote and what op wrote are similar except you didn't use ur brain well just rushing to type what you sent... mind you I don't reply irrelevant quotes

pansophist:
Depends if we are talking about long-term or shirt term relationships. Generally yes with short term but if you're in for the long run, then it should be more than that. The women need compensate somewhere/somehow.

Hahahaha compensate by having your kids bro. Your smart kids

Relationship na scam

debbydams:
Dating pool is now a mess right now, a big mess. If you are already married, God has saved you. If you are in a serious relationship with someone who's goin to marry you, you are very luck lucky.

A lot of us are in relationships but single, you think you are dating someone but the person is not even dating you. I think we need to talk about how damaged alot of us are, how materialistic we have become, how sex obsessed most of us are, how selfish?

"I deserve the best" yes you are but while you deserve the best , is your partner getting the best as well?

Our generation is just too selfish.
It is always about 'you'

You want your partner to accept you the way you are but you are a bag of negativity and emotional liability, you are unstable, you are selfish, you don't look inside, you never tell yourself the truth and you want your partner to accept you when you are not even ready to change.

But you want people to change for you but you're not willing to change for them in return. Isn't that selfishness?

No sincerity, No commitment, No honesty, No love, just expectations without reciprocation.

We keep blaming our partners for our mistakes..

There's no day we won't hear about divorce, domestic violence, bf killing gf, gf stabbing bf ,

How long will this continue?

It's tiring

#Lalasticla

The quest for materialism from the ladies to meet up with social media trend and hype have made ladies to become highly materialistic, unrealistic, unreasonable and insatiable which have pushed lots of used-to-be good guys into becoming hit and run playboys scared of committment as a way of avoiding too much demanding for this and that from the person they call girlfriend. This was part of what killed relationship commitment.


In the process of doing this hit and run to avoid responsibilities, the guys become addicted to fvcking different girls and keeping multiple partners becomes a norm and something to brag off by guys.


Another thing is, the prettier a girl is today or the hotter she believes she is, the more she feels entitled and the more she believes only rich, buoyant guys deserve to date her or see her unclothedness, which makes guys to also device means via telling lies and living fake life as a means to maneuver the new standard pretty girls have set in the dating world lol.

Its just like a cycle and I don't see any positive change coming soon.


Cc: DoctorOlasDesk

franchasng:
The quest for materialism from the ladies to meet up with social media trend and hype have made ladies to become highly materialistic, unrealistic, unreasonable and insatiable which have pushed lots of used-to-be good guys into becoming hit and run playboys scared of committment as a way of avoiding too much demanding for this and that from the person they call girlfriend.


In the process of doing this hit and run to avoid responsibilities, the guys become addicted to fvcking different girls and keeping multiple partners becomes a norm and something to brag off by guys.


Another thing is, the prettier a girl is today or the hotter she believes she is, the more she feels entitled and the more she believes only rich, buoyant guys deserve to date her or see her unclothedness, which makes guys to also device means via telling lies and living fake life as a means to maneuver the new standard pretty girls have set in the dating world lol.

Its just like a cycle and I don't see any positive change coming soon.


Cc: DoctorOlasDesk

@pansophist, I hope you're getting a pre-nup. The picture is indeed gloom. Men musn't get carried away in the musings, excitements of the sweetness love brings. E don choke finally

debbydams:
Dating pool is now a mess right now, a big mess. If you are already married, God has saved you. If you are in a serious relationship with someone who's goin to marry you, you are very luck lucky.

A lot of us are in relationships but single, you think you are dating someone but the person is not even dating you. I think we need to talk about how damaged alot of us are, how materialistic we have become, how sex obsessed most of us are, how selfish?

"I deserve the best" yes you are but while you deserve the best , is your partner getting the best as well?

Our generation is just too selfish.
It is always about 'you'

You want your partner to accept you the way you are but you are a bag of negativity and emotional liability, you are unstable, you are selfish, you don't look inside, you never tell yourself the truth and you want your partner to accept you when you are not even ready to change.

But you want people to change for you but you're not willing to change for them in return. Isn't that selfishness?

No sincerity, No commitment, No honesty, No love, just expectations without reciprocation.

We keep blaming our partners for our mistakes..

There's no day we won't hear about divorce, domestic violence, bf killing gf, gf stabbing bf ,

How long will this continue?

It's tiring

#Lalasticla

This summarises someone i used to know.

The thought of all that ish is still sickening.

You got it. Especially: " our generation is too selfish"

pansophist:
Them suppose give any woman wey break your heart the noble peace prize, because with what you wrote, youre cruising on a messianic level. To break your heart no possible. Lol. you didn't only swallowed, but you sniffed, smoked, licked, inhaled, chew, vaped and masticate one red capsule like that.

Ignorance in life generally is dangerous, as you'll be a victim to any malevolent folks that sees you as a lunch, so yes, men especially are kinda ignorant compare to women who are more social, perceptive and intuitive naturally. A man while engaged in the lovey dovey of romance, must make sure he is not carried away with the dynamics that underpins romance of the 21st century.

It shall be well with you

Lol, it is what it is. People should know on which line they stand and stop disturbing our lives with endless threads on Nairaland just like this one.

That was how a lady opened a thread this morning accusing her boyfriend of cheating on her. Reading through her writeup, I came across the part where she said the guy owns a Mac and an iPhone (two things which signifies wealth), but yet she expects the same guy to be faithful when them babes eyes don tear outside and waiting for an opportunity to snatch him. Now she has come to Nairaland to open a thread when it's obvious where she stands.

I don't even want to talk about about the countless threads from the men folks because just as you've opined at the bold: they're clearly the ignorant and foolish ones. All these "Men are logical, men are smart, men build societies" ends at the door of heterosexual relationships.

debbydams:
Dating pool is now a mess right now, a big mess. If you are already married, God has saved you. If you are in a serious relationship with someone who's goin to marry you, you are very luck lucky.

A lot of us are in relationships but single, you think you are dating someone but the person is not even dating you. I think we need to talk about how damaged alot of us are, how materialistic we have become, how sex obsessed most of us are, how selfish?

"I deserve the best" yes you are but while you deserve the best , is your partner getting the best as well?

Our generation is just too selfish.
It is always about 'you'

You want your partner to accept you the way you are but you are a bag of negativity and emotional liability, you are unstable, you are selfish, you don't look inside, you never tell yourself the truth and you want your partner to accept you when you are not even ready to change.

But you want people to change for you but you're not willing to change for them in return. Isn't that selfishness?

No sincerity, No commitment, No honesty, No love, just expectations without reciprocation.

We keep blaming our partners for our mistakes..

There's no day we won't hear about divorce, domestic violence, bf killing gf, gf stabbing bf ,

How long will this continue?

It's tiring

#Lalasticla

We are having this problems today because of national bad leadership, you can't compare marriages of 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s. Knowledge was scanty and people are well behaved but since everyone knows what's right, Nigerian youths have eaten the apple.

martinmiller:
I won't agree it to be gold-digging either but it sounds stupid to the hear instead of asking after those material thing, "have you at considered if we are compatible" and besides my father told me when he married my mother he doesn't even own a bike (okada)

However, we are all well trained and brought up accordingly, look, the society is getting porous by this idea that if I must marry I must marry a rich man. Meanwhile, many of them ha destined to start small and build the marriage. I know a lady friend who can't cook a decent meal, my cooking skills is over 90% beta than her own and the good news is that she is getting married soon ..

Due to our closeness she is taking cooking classes from me amdst other things I can't open here. In saner climes things are done differently, the ladies here are lecherous.

In the 21st century, lots of women see marriage as a permanent vacation to Miami, a place where they go and enjoy themselves till thy kingdom comes. To brag to their single friends and a place where the merriment of life rains abundantly. In fact, the wedding is more important than the marriage, it's all glamorous and nice. But marriage is actually not like that.

Marriage is a place where all the self-development you've been building as a single person is put to test. It will test your virtues such as faithfulness, patience, contentment, tolerance, sacrificial abilities, courage, maturity, inner strength, teamwork, hardwork, self-leadership, and compassion, to name a few.

If any of the partners lacks the above, then the one that doesn't lack it will suffer, because when one is dead, they don't know they are a burden to the living. When one lack this immaterial virtues, then they will be a burden to those who have it. For example lots of people become poor because they married a materialistic partner who knows how to spend not make money.

debbydams:
Dating pool is now a mess right now, a big mess. If you are already married, God has saved you. If you are in a serious relationship with someone who's goin to marry you, you are very luck lucky.

A lot of us are in relationships but single, you think you are dating someone but the person is not even dating you. I think we need to talk about how damaged alot of us are, how materialistic we have become, how sex obsessed most of us are, how selfish?

"I deserve the best" yes you are but while you deserve the best , is your partner getting the best as well?

Our generation is just too selfish.
It is always about 'you'

You want your partner to accept you the way you are but you are a bag of negativity and emotional liability, you are unstable, you are selfish, you don't look inside, you never tell yourself the truth and you want your partner to accept you when you are not even ready to change.

But you want people to change for you but you're not willing to change for them in return. Isn't that selfishness?

No sincerity, No commitment, No honesty, No love, just expectations without reciprocation.

We keep blaming our partners for our mistakes..

There's no day we won't hear about divorce, domestic violence, bf killing gf, gf stabbing bf ,

How long will this continue?

It's tiring

#Lalasticla

See...this generation is bleeped, it has even polluted the minds of the previous generation...Money has replaced love, Insanity has replaced sanity, lies and deceit has replaced truth & Genuity, material things has replaced human feelings, Hustle has replaced fear of God, bad has replaced good,and so it goes....May God heal our land and cleanse our hearts...it's just sad and really depressing on how people have become in recent time,even to a fellow man..

nenyewrites:
Everything is Buhari's fault. How can you truly love is this insane climate? When sun will be frying your brain cells? Let's tell ourselves the truth, love comes from a place of comfort.

Haaaa... Even relationships?!!

Buhari don hear am!!!

Moz22:
it took me a while contemplating whether I should comment on this or not.. however I'm gonna drop my token..

Ever since I saw a post saying "you've been unlucky with relationships, why not channel your energy into taking you and your family out of poverty and leave love alone" I had a mind shift... I maybe wrong but the truth of the matter is that true love doesn't exist no more.. the love u see people exhibit these days comes with expectations and when those expectations aren't met, that's when they'll say they fell out of love etc.. True love is a beautiful thing and I sincerely hope that I get to experience it before I exit this world, However I'm not looking for it.. this world is just too bleeped up, unbalanced and full of fuckery, but apparently there isn't much u can do about it. I have a thing that works for me anytime I feel some sorta affection for any girl which I don't wanna entertain.. I'm gonna be very single for a long time to come. Selah

Are you Gemini,Cancer or Scorpio?
Introvert?

You seem to have deep insight on certain things many are unable realise...I like.

Raalsalghul:
Tit for Tat! Do me I do you! Quid pro pro!

Hypergamy and Polygamy will remain here till the end of time.

I only find it foolish that most people don't know on which side of the divide they stand. It's just delusion.

As a man, know your babe might move on once she gets a guy with better status or she might not date you in the first pace if she feels you're not at a certain level.

As a lady, know that the rich guy you're dating and wanting to tie down has many options outside too (Prettier, curvier and smarter), no be only you get eyes for good things. So be content with position number one and stop worrying over nothing.

I believe once people come to terms with these, all these gnashing and wailing will reduce. Abegi!

Only reason we have complains on these thread is because somehow people expect their case to be different.

Once you know what to expect, you'll be less disappointed.

Hahahahahaha



This should be a summary of relationship Bible for people of our time

debbydams:
Dating pool is now a mess right now, a big mess. If you are already married, God has saved you. If you are in a serious relationship with someone who's goin to marry you, you are very luck lucky.

A lot of us are in relationships but single, you think you are dating someone but the person is not even dating you. I think we need to talk about how damaged alot of us are, how materialistic we have become, how sex obsessed most of us are, how selfish?

"I deserve the best" yes you are but while you deserve the best , is your partner getting the best as well?

Our generation is just too selfish.
It is always about 'you'

You want your partner to accept you the way you are but you are a bag of negativity and emotional liability, you are unstable, you are selfish, you don't look inside, you never tell yourself the truth and you want your partner to accept you when you are not even ready to change.

But you want people to change for you but you're not willing to change for them in return. Isn't that selfishness?

No sincerity, No commitment, No honesty, No love, just expectations without reciprocation.

We keep blaming our partners for our mistakes..

There's no day we won't hear about divorce, domestic violence, bf killing gf, gf stabbing bf ,

How long will this continue?

It's tiring

#Lalasticla

well, life is not mathematics.
The intention might be good at the beginning, but people change and things change too.

Tajbol4splend:
These holy holy people actually think they know who God is, they know absolutely nothing about him

Nothing atall tbvh

DoctorOlasDesk:
@pansophist, I hope you're getting a pre-nup. The picture is indeed gloom. Men musn't get carried away in the musings, excitements of the sweetness love brings. E don choke finally

There is no static in life. It's either things are getting better, or getting worse. And if things are not getting better, then its getting worse. Stagnancy means its is worse also. So yes, as things stands, even if you argue that this is the worse of it, it will get even worse in years to come.

Time compound everything even if you do nothing. If you buy a brand new lamboghini and Park it without driving it for ten years, then it will rust, get dusty, and won't start at all. Compare to one you drive. I'm only trying to prove with this analogy that even in nature, its evident that being static makes things worse. So yea, franchasng is right, and I agree with your implication.