₦airaland Forum

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

your kettle bro. It is well. God forbid bad thing. That I would continue with a woman so loose she still kanck with belle!!!! The angel wey appear to Joseph no fit persuade me to continue. What's worse you still get conviction that the belle is even yours, and as such want to stay. It is well.

Soulflai:
Appreciate alot for this,I also got to know that her last encounter with him was 2020 when we just married.She is seating on gun powder now to be sincere.I am really buoyant to be a single dad but soon I will take decision.Honestly I don't see as wife again

Sorry for the painful feelings.
The boy is not about to, but have already ended your marriage or do you Still Trust the Hoe and an ingrate you call a "wife'?

You shall not dye young the amen to that is do what Jesus said in a situation like this.

End the union Rigth away if you do not want her to end you.

The truth is that your beloved wife never broke up with the said man. In fact,there was never an ex. What Happened is that you gays are practicing polyandry marriage.

Or better still,you are even the person distracting the couple in their relationship. Saying that the guy has sex with your wife when she is carrying your child made me laugh. That child is not yours.

Just make up your mind on what you want , either to continue living with another man's wife or to let her go. The choice is yours.

Vikkoh:
What other advice do you want Bros?

She was pregnant and was still collecting from her EX?
That's the height of it my brother.

You can't cope with someone like that and if you decide to manage the situation hoping she'd change, kindly write down your will and carefully allocate your properties to your Child/Children cos she'll lead you to your grave in years to come.

Dump her sorry a$$ and take care of your children the best way you can.
Forget what the society would say. Your life and sanity matters and you shouldn't joke with that.

Meanwhile, don't listen to the Righteousness guy.
Him go start to dey explain how your story is a sign of end time .

Op,just listen to this advise,no need to wait for anymore comments. This man has spoken for everyone.

Do a DNA test on all your kids..it’s 50/50 that one might not be your child. You are worried about your kids?? Kids wey fit no be your own. She will still have sex either with that guy or another guy you haven’t found out about yet. Don’t ever try to change a stray hoe. She is for the street and not your home. If you want to live a miserable life and a wasted life, forgive her and prepare yourself for the consequences later.

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.
.

I remember u posted something on this same issue before. Am surprise she's still with u. U saw all the signs then. This is ur own doing

Lamanii22:
First go and do DNA on that your first baby....

So that he will die of heart attack OP, if you are tired of the marriage, divorce her instead of being angry all the time. But does she travel to meet the man?

Double up your hustle to meet up with your responsibilities cus I can deduce she gets help from the ex. This govt should just leave abeg, so many families are facing this due to financial problem.

You know the best for ur family and children take the right decision.

IbomGuy:
I have two advice for you...so choose one!

1. Confront the guy (her ex) and ask him if what he is doing to your wife, he will like another person to do it to his wife when he gets married? Talk things out with him and also hear what he has to say. You never can tell, it might be your wife is the one taking herself to him.

2. Tell your wife cut the link and if she doesn't..."END IT" bro. She is not loyal.

U normal like this, so u want to continue living with a cheating wife if she beg for forgiveness. How old are u?

Soulflai:
just be careful with words you use with me,you don't know what I am passing through

Soulflai, I pray for God's Grace upon your life, and that of your children. Please take the children to your mother or sisters and separate from that woman. She's not worthy to be called a wife.

And take life easy for the sake of your children.

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

Your decision is fine by me

What your wife did is the height of MATRIMONIAL IRREVERENCE and while I won't exonerate you from such degeneration, I won't dwell on that because I believe what you need right now is EMOTIONAL SUPPORT & OBJECTIVE RESPONSE but the diverse nature of the advices you'll get here will end up confusing you as you you will be at loss on which to follow.
So this is my advice, SEEK THE INTERVENTION OF EXPERTS. Believe me they've seen countless cases like yours and worse. Most guys that comment on NL are unmarried, their views will only reflect the level of their own experiences. Which is not same as yours.
You can contact https://www.instagram.com/funkeadetuberu/?hl=en and https://twitter.com/funkewog?lang=en on twitter. I guarantee you'll be glad you did. She specialises in matters like this and she's always willing to help. You can also reach out to other sources, this is just the one I know. I wish you well.

Beautyblogger:
Lol.
Some men do that, too. It's so disrepectful.

The moment I notice that you still talk to your ex or keep your exes as friends, I'm so ex-ing you.

You'd see people come up with all sorts of things to defend themselves such as "I'm not enemies with my ex. We're still friends. I'm mature blah blah"

Okay, Oga, go back to your ex and I'm done. Shikena!

“we are not enemies na”

Soulflai:
if whatever I write up there that my wife cheat with her ex is lie, then I should not see tomorrow.I am sad

Bro that baby isn't yours,The ex is the father.

When we tell you men never to get married,you never listen,now see what you're passing through.

huntax:
Op,just listen to this advise,no need to wait for anymore comments. This man has spoken for everyone.

This Vikko wey Sabi insult who go feed am The single one that doesn't understand the emotions, time and energy invested in the relationship? It's not that easy like you think. I know a man his wife was wayward like this, he separated from her for 6 years but later got back and yet she never changed. I can never regard Vikko's comments on nairaland, OP should give room for reconciliation.

Kavod:
Of all you SAID about topics and redemption etc etc.... This is the most AWFUL, you read this stuff before you comment. Wetin God wan intervene in jezebel matter? Abi you think say YESHUA go talk put. For matter when Man when be mumu nor consult them before e dive ENTER. I fit bet 1 million say that child nor be e own. Make e TROWAY the garbage back to the streets.... RUBBISH

A Jezebel cus she cheated? I hope you will use the same noun when a man does that!!! Rubbish

Midas01:
So sorry about your predicament.

This is what many women are passing through in marriage but when they bring their case here, NL misogynists will tell them that it is a man's birthright to cheat.

Cheating is wrong and it hurts regardless of gender.

You just said the 100% truth, if it was a male that cheated, these boys would've applauded the man. It is still their gender that lure women with gifts and money to bed them.

First of all how did you know that the baby is yours? Do a paternity test ASAP then we can take it up from there.

If the kid ain't yours then you know that to do

making jest of him ?
To what gain exactly ?
You think life can't happen to you too... wait and see na...
Rubbish... someone explained what he's going through and all what you could say was that....
BRAVO !!!

2special:
I will be making Jest of you but I don't pray to have a brother like you.

God forbid I don’t find myself in this situation, if I ever did, I will send her to her parents house
My brother paid her GF dowry and later found out she’s still sleeping with her EX who’s pastor. That’s how we ended the useless marriage .

Never allow these servants put you through emotional trauma.

Oga send her home, when she delivers, do DNA and take your child if it’s yours

Move on because she will still cheat again over and over

I hate these set of women

I guess this is the main reason why OP is still in that marriage....
And I am guessing that the so called Ex has money and he's giving the woman/wife.

Na big Wahala for OP because if the wife can't NEVER change.
If he likes, he should keep changing her phones, they (wife & EX) will keep getting back .

We4all:
‘If you were financially buoyant, would you have forgiven her so easily’?

Soulflai:
just be careful with words you use with me,you don't know what I am passing through

You be strong man sha,truth be told….if it were to me na packing things ooo

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

The problem here is your wife not the guy

She has to make a call on him while the speaker is on and denounce him to your hearing

Let's see what will be the guys reaction

While on the and call, you have to speak with the same guy and tell him he is causing problems in your marriage

Then after that, let your wife pay for the DNA test that must be sponsored by her and after all these, reporther to her parents

Her own is even too much because it's obvious she is still in love with her ex

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

Your wife had sex with her boyfriend with your (alleged) baby in her womb and you are coming here to seek advice on what to do.

Your brain needs to be donated to the museum of unnatural history.

How many phones do you want to change? How many social media accounts do you want to block? That woman is not yours and the child might not be yours either.

Ninisun:
You just said the 100% truth, if it was a male that cheated, these boys would've applauded the man. It is still their gender that lure women with gifts and money to bed them.

Show us the thread where men here applaud a man for cheating on his wife ......

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

Children will always be enough reasons for people not to separate but if the damage it does to the MAN in question is huge better to consider oneself as no one who's not in good shape can't shape anyone to be good to father your kids you need to get yourself together first and find a reasonable woman and let her move in with her ex.


Your financial constraints is as a result of fornication while still engage with you
If a woman fornicate while still with her husband has huge impact on him

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

/
The first step should be to do a DNA test on your child.


Just saying...

/

I want to believe you did not purposely make a a *HOE a housewife, and if truly you didn't, what are you still waiting for? You know where she belongs- The STREETS; push her there immediately.

Be strong bro, time would heal your pains, and don't forget to run a DNA test on that child.

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

Man are you very that the first kid is truly yours?,you should check that first.

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

I don’t know who you are and would have just scrolled through and exited the thread. But your last sentence got me interested in responding.

For the love of God, it’s one thing to cheat as your girlfriend, it’s another thing to cheat as your wife. But cheating as your wife while pregnant? This is the hight of it! You might think it’s okay to give her another chance for whatever reason you feel justifies it.
But by doing this, you give her more grounds to dim you less of a man. For Fvcks sake run a DNA test! There is a very high chance you are not even their father.

Ninisun:
A Jezebel cus she cheated? I hope you will use the same noun when a man does that!!! Rubbish

Not once, not twice not thrice e con even add to belle fucking.. E be like say you want make thunder fire you

This is really serious