₦airaland Forum

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

Stop forcing yourself on her Mr Man look for a woman that loves you.

Lamanii22:
seek God's counselling ke....

He said "Godly counselling"!!!

News like this scared me in getting married... I think the OP want to divorce the woman, but he is looking at his financial strength, but pls think about your life first , that woman can collide with her ex to kill you... Divorce her ASAP....

To think that OP still refers to that woman as his wife baffles me. He even wrote the heading as "My wife's ex boyfriend is about to ruin my marriage"

Do you think you have problem with the ex boyfriend or your so called wife?

Besuccessful:
5 months pregnant and still having sex with her ex, how are you sure the pregnancy is even yours?

Abi

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

Send her out ASAP

You're right friend and i appreciate that you took time to read my long reply and thought it wise to reply out of your kindness so I say thank you.

However, I'll ask you to pardon me to call you to certain facts according to the word of our master and God.

Jeremiah 3:1-25 shows us how God treats our adultery. He takes us back even after we've committed adultery. He cleans us and set us back where we belong every time. This is why he's God. If we are to be like our father in heaven according to the word of Yeshau our master, then we must be ready to clean an adulterous partner and set them where they belong.

Marriage is an unbreakable union. This is why it's the most solid of all structures of existence. It's the hinge of salvation. If marriage is breakable them salvation is breakable bc salvation is a marriage.

There are many people who are still married in the eyes of God though they themselves have separated. They shall suffer for breaking what God has joined together. They're not our standard. We must not look at them, We must always look at the word of God for the truth and not our wayward neighbors doing the imagination of their minds.

Look at these things pls. May you receive understanding to learn these facts amen

TheGift:
What if the Woman is not interested in the union by Her actions? You can drag the harlot to your house but it is She that will choose to stay there.

And who says marriage is not breakable? Marriages break everyday? And there are many that are married on paper and in mouth but not in Heart, nor in spirit and truth.

That God hates divorce doesn't mean that marriages with unwilling partners should be forced. Yes God hates divorce. And God also hates adultery.

The adulterer has already done the divorcing in the process of adultering.

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

1. I don carry your matter myself give God. Na the first advice be that.

Make I cure 40% of your problem myself before I begin they tell you long story.


2. Pray this Novena to the Holy Family . Try and give some money to at least one or two poor persons. Pray that through it, God may grant you i. direction , and marital peace.

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

I my culture. If you pay a woman’s bride price fully. And she cheats.
She’s not allowed to cook for you.
If she does knowingly. Na the man go die.


That being said.
How are you even sure the pregnancy is yours?
I will not be able to live a day more under the same roof with her.
Make she go born for her papa house.
When she born we go do DNA to ascertain if the child is mine or not.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBYnw_HTGX8

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life after all.

I don't live in your house so I don't know the full story for sure but ill advice you based on what you've dropped here. Best to first move out of your house temporarily till you are mentally okay. This is to avoid any form of domestic violence that may surface in the cause of an argument as it appears argument is inevitable right now. When you move out, take your time to process everything over again and weigh your options carefully. Call your lawyer to file for divorce or separation, take your kids for a DNA test immediately to be sure they are truly your children by blood and if found wanting, revisit your “WILL” and make necessary amends immediately. After this is done, inform your family of the recent developments first and tell them about your decision to divorce before you inform her family. For your children, the court will decide who keeps them, and chances are they'll be with you for a woman who cheats even while pregnant can not be trusted to put her children’s interests first before her own but then again, it just may be that the particular child is of her ex and not yours. If the court favors you to keep your children, make arrangements with your family as to who will move in with you to assist in catering for your kids and hire help if your finance can cater for this. Your life is at risk living with that lady under the same roof as I strongly believe there are secrets to why she's still clinging to her ex years after marriage. She has not cut communication with him she's only just cut the channels you know. ALSO, YOU MUST NOT HIT HER FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER. Year's back, I hit my son's mom twice as a younger man still learning life and making mistakes and I regret it every day to this day. Be smart and put your emotions in check. Nobody deserves to go through such I hope that you find the strength to heal. My advice is solely based on what you've put up here as i don't live with you and can't verify or confirm the full story. Stay blessed.

You dont deserve wich w cumslut, you beter run for Life

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

Seek counselling urgently. You can stay away for a while if you feel your anger building up, to avoid violence. Please, long term counselling is extremely important as she may still establish contact with him after this blows over. If she still loves him, you may have to divorce her. Please be strong. You will get over this. Be strong for your future's sake and for your innocent children

Soulflai:
Appreciate alot for this,I also got to know that her last encounter with him was 2020 when we just married.She is seating on gun powder now to be sincere.I am really buoyant to be a single dad but soon I will take decision.Honestly I don't see as wife again

Whatever you decide, don't plan to harm her. Don't throw your life away. Walk away if you can't bear it and let the courts grant you visitation rights for the children.

If you are my beloved brother my advice is If she was knacking after u were married her then your marriage is fit for divorce even the bible approves. But if you want to give her a second chance, then you do so at your own risk(emotionally, physical, psychologically).
Truly u won't really HV peace of mind around her, but if you love her too much and what to really forgive her and work things out, then seek help.

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

Why will u leave ur wife in Kaduna? Your wife is attached to him because he has money, she is not contented with what u have and that's a red flag, I advise you watch her closely and also save some money for your self incase of tomorrow....

Soulflai:
I shouldn't have brought this here but the emotional bargage is too heavy for me to move on in. My marriage of 2 years is about to crumble.

I met my wife in Kaduna Southern part in 2017. Our relationship had been a long distance one as I base in Lagos while she also work in Kaduna, but we eventually married in 2020. The bone of contention is the issue of her ex. That point we are dating, I always caution her to cut communication with the guy, she will do it by deleting the number, but later I will find out they're still relating.

Last month, I purchased a new phone and I had to give her my own. So on the process of reinstalling Whatsapp on her phone, I retrieved all the backup Whatsapp messages 7 which left me devastated. The chat history with her ex really left me broken.

On multiple occasions after I paid her dowry, she met with the guy and they had sex. Multiple times pals! Even after marriage, when she is 5 months pregnant, the guy still had her with my baby inside her!

I am really broken pals, I confronted her on this, she started crying that she will cut communication with him. The guy even send some money to her account on difference time this year.

This is the height of emotional damage. I am just leaving each day just to find my leg financially. I am trying my best, but it is not enough.

Lastly, I called the so-called ex on phone to cut communication with her, the guy is in Kaduna I think while we are in Lagos. She also blocked him all avenues likewise. My decision now is that any time I discovered any form of communication between her and the guy, it is over with the marriage. I think she is not really in to me like that, which beg the question while she married me in first instance.

If am your brother, what advice would you recommend? I only choose to be lenient because the kids are just too small to have their parents separated early. If not, I would have sent her parking!.

Right now I am just not happy with life afterall.

Please Sir, try hustle a little bit more, buy all the finest things of life, I recommend you buy a 2022 model of any car of her choice... probably build a house too...for being a dutiful, loving,caring and respectful wife to you. My 1cent

All I can see is that your wife married you as a second option. The other guy was probably not ready so she married you. Her heart remains with him. She doesn't seem to love you as much as her ex-boyfriend from all you said. It's dangerous going on like this but it's up to you to decide.

Seek counselling from professionals. Mental health is very important.

VenumX:
You are joking right?

That's life.

I will never advice any man to venture into marriage or even a serious relationship based on love alone. Always be fanatically stable and comfortable else another man will fvck your woman/wife.

That's what is happening to the Op exactly and why he is helpless. He is even lucky he knows sef.

I don't go into any married woman's DM. They come to me.
The sad truth though is that married women are less of a risk to fvck now than single girls that have multiple boyfriends and do hookup on top.

The STDS these girls carry no be here ooo.... the younger and the more beautiful the faster i run away

BigCowH0rn:
That's life.

I will never advice any man to venture into marriage or even a serious relationship based on love alone. Always be fanatically stable and comfortable else another man will fvck your woman/wife.

That's what is happening to the Op exactly and why he is helpless. He is even lucky he knows sef.

I don't go into any married woman's DM. They come to me.
The sad truth though is that married women are less of a risk to fvck now than single girls that have multiple boyfriends and do hookup on top.

The STDS these girls carry no be here ooo.... the younger and the more beautiful the faster i run away

What kind of person are you really? Can't you just help them freely? Must you sleep with them?

before married her, she's been seeing her ex in which u know and u still went ahead to marry her cos of the love u av for her and now u are regretting ....FOLLOW YOUR HEART BRO

VenumX:
What kind of person are you really? Can't you just help them freely? Must you sleep with them?

I'm many things but Father Christmas is not one.
Besides they are the ones that say yes to the thing and no be force

BigCowH0rn:
I'm many things but Father Christmas is not one.
Besides they are the ones that say yes to the thing and no be force

You don't have to ask for them to say yes or no. You give because you want to help.

From your epistle, you say you are fair. But I am certain around your eyes are very dark. Look mirror make you see.

VenumX:
You don't have to ask for them to say yes or no. You give because you want to help.

From your epistle, you say you are fair. But I am certain around your eyes are very dark. Look mirror make you see.

There you go vexing again, eh my nairaland wife.

Look, most of those women do pass me. Their marriage is nothing to them and they do not respect their man... exactly like the op is seeing now.
No man will ever bang a crying woman and enjoy and i promise these women don't cry when you nack them.
Some will even cook and wash for me, call me darling on top and refuse to leave


I no kidnap anybody wife

BigCowH0rn:
There you go vexing again, eh my nairaland wife.

Around your eye black abi e no black? Answer

BigCowH0rn:
No man will ever bang a crying woman and enjoy and i promise these women don't cry when you nack them.
Some will even cook for me and call me darling

Jeez!!! You deserve women like them as wife.

VenumX:
Around your eye black abi e no black? Answer

E no black ni



Jeez!!! You deserve women like them as wife. [/quote]The truth is that some of these women are quite wonderful wife material. It's just that cheating streak and most of the time it's lack of having enough in the house that causes/starts it and then it goes out of control.

The lovely plump one that cleans my house every Saturday is 32 with three kids.. never lies or steals.. very clean...Always dresses in Long robes and head tie like she's going to church. She does everything and then i eat her

That she is older makes it sweeter.

Officially she is my house cleaner.

imagrg:
Don't call him that. If you were married you would understand why he is reasoning or reacting this way.
Emotions are already making him consider what impact his action may make on the children. It's a pity he has a sex-maniac for a wife.

My friend I am happily married...He is just been s fool, until he is dead...I guess the woman feeds and cloth him

BigCowH0rn:
E no black ni



Jeez!!! You deserve women like them as wife.

The truth is that some of these women are quite wonderful wife material. It's just that cheating streak and most of the time it's lack having enough in the house that causes/starts it and then it goes out of control.

The lovely plump one that cleans my house every Saturday is 32 with three kids.. never lies or steals.. Always dresses in Long robes and headtie like she is going to church. She does everything and then i eat her

Officially she is my house cleaner.

And I think say you be better person before. Na me and you for this forum.

Na wah oo so that guy was hitting your babies head inside the womb.

VenumX:
And I think say you be better person before. Na me and you for this forum.

Ahhhh, my jealous wife don vex

BigCowH0rn:
Ahhhh, my jealous wife don vex

What a huge disappointment. SMH

manikspears:
Bro no be you get the pikin ooo

Here is my theory , when you sleep with a pregnant woman who is carrying another persons child you go broke...as in sapa go dey wooze you till the child is old enough to call money.

Now while this your wife was pregnant only you and the other guy were giving it to her, right now you are broke while the other guy can still finance your wife which means he is buoyant.

Go and do DNA test and confirm.
I
Take your life seriously so that you won't suffer. That is my 2 rand.

abeg which law be this? Buhari law of cheating Lol