@op... I read many responses posted on your thread and I observed that many are from inexperienced, young and naive young minds.
Your mums reactions isn't about your girlfriend but you. At age 30, your mum didn't see reasons why you should settle down to a family life. It should also bothered you that what gives you joy is making your mum to be unhappy and she couldn't hide it. She using spirituality to cover up for her disapproval of you moving to the next stage of your life for some reasons best known to her. Maybe there's a lady somewhere whom she's grooming secretly for you....
Just press further to know the reason why your mum is so cold to your girlfriend she never met. Maybe it is just a fear of the unknown. Try to work things out with her, she may be wrong about her.
To thise calling your girlfriend olosho... Don't mind them, it is because of their personal financial ineptitude/ poverty mentality. Because they are always broke and find it constantly difficult to make ends meet, they thought everyone leading a good life is into crimes and moral perversion.
Justbehave: But he told you that she doesn't have a means of livelihood? Why is it that Nigerians always hide the truth from people just so that they appear good?.I ask you again. A student that is a fashion freak without any means of livelihood gets money from?
Her well-to-do parents? Or is it forbidden for parents to dote on their daughters? In your narrow mind, the only way a "Nigerian girl" can have money is by getting if from men.
It’s wrong to talk about someone’s girlfriend like that. It’s condescending
Justbehave: Your mum is wiser than you. A student with no means of livelihood that is a fashion freak is nothing but an olosho. Your mum knows but you are blinded by the free pussy she's giving you.
Supreme145: So I've been dating this lady since early this year and everything has been going on smoothly, in fact I even had to tell my mom about her, the first time I would talk to my mother about a lady, but she sounded not too pleased about the lady. Someone she hasn't even met physically.
I've two younger sisters between aged 17 and 15, I didn't like the way they were dressed the last time I visited home so I always try to send them a token every month end to get new cloths. This Xmas I have a lot on my table and have been brainstorming on how to structure my expenses.
My babe is an only child and a fashion freak so she has loads of cloths in her wardrobe. She offered to give some to my sisters without me even asking. She gave me over 30 different pieces of cloths, and bought an ayaya gown or whatever its called for my mom worth around 15k. This is a student that doesn't even have a reliable means of income and I don't give her much. She opened up that she has been saving to get my mom a gift.
I called my mom this morning to tell her that I would be sending the cloths over with some other stuffs I bought for them and she outrightly rejected the girl's gifts citing spiritual reasons that she cant accept gifts from someone she doesn't know. She even accused the girl of trying to pressure me into marriage by pretending to love my family.
I am 30 years old and have dated countless ladies and none has showed genuine concern towards my family like this particular one. It would be so heart breaking to tell her that my mom rejected her gifts knowing how she enthusiastic she was gathering those items.
Sometimes I get tired of my moms spirituality, she's not considering that my sisters even need those items. Those cloths worth over 50k even as second hand materials. I don't understand why she would dislike someone she hasn't even met before.
How do I handle this situation, I don't know what to do with these items, I can't return it to my girlfriend cos it will really hurt her.
My advice to you is... Let your girlfriend flex her relationship with your sisters. Then you can actually invite your sisters over for a weekend and when they're about leaving, she can gift them the clothes. Na she go run from them sef when dey begin disturb her. Lol
No rush my brother.
Try marketing girlfriend to your mother and let her begin to like her before any other thing.
Nothing spiritual here. Perhaps she's vexing cos she wanted you to do something for her which you've not.
Especially building a house. Try and check and talk her into calming down
Oga there are students that come from well to do homes...I don't know the kind of ladies that you surround yourself with that makes you think every good looking lady is into prostitution.
Oga obey your mother, some mothers are retired olosho, when they see their colleague they know! Obey your mother before that girl use fornication to confuse your life! Oga only your father can tell if your mother is a good wife! Your mom will always be a good mother to you! Listen to her. Don’t be stupid they are saving you from calamity! Respect that woman live her alone, your so call girlfriend want to buy your mothers love, e no work! Shine your eyes mr man and obey your mother! Any woman your mother and Sister dislikes live that girl alone except that your girl friend is a genuine born again but if you and that girl friend are committing fornication run ooo! If that girl insists on no sex till wedding night and na strong born again in character and everything, convinced your mom! But if you guys are fornicating, your mother is vindicated! From your statement it seems your mother na strong born again; obey her pls!
The babe is nice naturally... I cant count how many stuffs she has dashed one single mom and her kids in my compound.
Another thing you need to consider before faulting your mum is, if you gift your girlfriend items to give to her parents, will they accept them? Please, be sincere to yourself here, so as not to present your family as less privilege before her,,ok?
This is a tricky situation, I honestly think there should have been contact between the OP family and his potential wife before the whole gift showering. Mom might want to protect her self esteem by not receiving the items, or based on spiritual reasons as she stated but the lady should have first met them in person it cul have gone a long way.
You cannever understand a woman, more than her fellow woman...Let's keep you aside, as love is blind they say..
Get to know the reason behind this outright rejection..Some mothers are spiritual.
You see mothers, as they age, they fade away from sexual life with fathers to a more spiritual life and closeness to God..They see beyond atimes...In addition to experience.
I remember my mom seeing my big cousin's wife for the first time, her exact words to my Aunt was" I too like this girl" my Aunt was like for real? She said yes.
And trust me The lady is just perfect if We can say..My cousin is lucky.
Some people frown when they see danger..There spirit rejects such immediately..Though they can succumb under pressure..But will tell you, I told you when issues starts pouring in.
Just get to find out your mom's reason.
My mother will do same if she doesn't know this girl down to her root..In the best interest, suspend the gift and take her home for a proper introduction..So they can interact..Before gifts can come in.
There is a communication gap you need to work on.
Best advice.
Op should just tell the babe, as a matter of principle your mum would not just collect gift from an unknown female friend of yours.
Tell her you will need to take her home to meet your mum first and that the gift presentation wouldn't even be immediate. I think she will respect your mum for being principled rather than being unappreciative if you tell her she rejected the gifts.
I think your mum is just being logical, aside the spiritual reason, only a longer throat mother should collect such a gift, that's why we have so many oloshos and Yahoo boys in this generation, some parents encourage their wards by benefitting from proceeds of crime and waywardness without questioning them.
Supreme145: So I've been dating this lady since early this year and everything has been going on smoothly, in fact I even had to tell my mom about her, the first time I would talk to my mother about a lady, but she sounded not too pleased about the lady. Someone she hasn't even met physically.
I've two younger sisters between aged 17 and 15, I didn't like the way they were dressed the last time I visited home so I always try to send them a token every month end to get new cloths. This Xmas I have a lot on my table and have been brainstorming on how to structure my expenses.
My babe is an only child and a fashion freak so she has loads of cloths in her wardrobe. She offered to give some to my sisters without me even asking. She gave me over 30 different pieces of cloths, and bought an ayaya gown or whatever its called for my mom worth around 15k. This is a student that doesn't even have a reliable means of income and I don't give her much. She opened up that she has been saving to get my mom a gift.
I called my mom this morning to tell her that I would be sending the cloths over with some other stuffs I bought for them and she outrightly rejected the girl's gifts citing spiritual reasons that she cant accept gifts from someone she doesn't know. She even accused the girl of trying to pressure me into marriage by pretending to love my family.
I am 30 years old and have dated countless ladies and none has showed genuine concern towards my family like this particular one. It would be so heart breaking to tell her that my mom rejected her gifts knowing how she enthusiastic she was gathering those items.
Sometimes I get tired of my moms spirituality, she's not considering that my sisters even need those items. Those cloths worth over 50k even as second hand materials. I don't understand why she would dislike someone she hasn't even met before.
How do I handle this situation, I don't know what to do with these items, I can't return it to my girlfriend cos it will really hurt her.
Your mom is not yet ready to drag her son with a stranger, jealousy is what I see here, You are too close to your mom and she loves you so much and doesn't want another person to take that attention away from her, spirituality is bullshit, the ball is on your court to stand your ground if you truly love the girl and you should convince your mom to accept her
Justbehave: Your mum is wiser than you. A student with no means of livelihood that is a fashion freak is nothing but an olosho. Your mum knows but you are blinded by the free pussy she's giving you.
calm down bro. Op said she's the only child, her parents could give everything to make her happy, possibly as its always the case with an only child. op sef don follow am for almost one year, he suppose don know If na olosho. just calms
Justbehave: Your mum is wiser than you. A student with no means of livelihood that is a fashion freak is nothing but an olosho. Your mum knows but you are blinded by the free pussy she's giving you.
Cut the crap guy. I know you gathered many likes from mo.rons like you but not all schooling ladies do Olosho to survive. Some do legit business.
1. I've been dating this lady since early this year. 2.She gave me over 30 different pieces of cloths, 3.and bought an ayaya gown or whatever its called for my mom worth around 15k. 4. This is a student that doesn't even have a reliable means of income and I don't give her much.
Hmmmmm you are very naive. Anyone else seeing the red flags?
My brother, I no go lie give you, be sensitive between your Mum and Girlfriend. Me no like people wey too dey attach spiritism for everything all in the name of being Spiritual. Women wey dey behave like that they ruin relationships even amongst close kins. They fit tell you, your destiny helper is against you, your beloved brother or spouse wan kill you.
You must also be careful with your Girlfriend... Me no too dey like collect gifts from girl wey be friend... This thing wey you just call girlfriend... I no dey like after all I did for him, even when na boxers e buy for me while me I don buy car for am.
Don't also forget that women are Spirit beings, they see far... So you must get close to God yourself so they don't ruin you. Na why Bible talk say "test all spirits."
Your Mama na Spirit... Your Girlfriend na Spirit. Test to see who carry better spirit among them. Don't forget that true spirit loves... For God is love.
Finally ladies are rivals... Always engaging in contest.
It is not surprising to see your Mama Chicky... When she accuses you of getting another Mother or replacement for her, just because you didn't call her for a space 2 or 3 days.
Supreme145: So I've been dating this lady since early this year and everything has been going on smoothly, in fact I even had to tell my mom about her, the first time I would talk to my mother about a lady, but she sounded not too pleased about the lady. Someone she hasn't even met physically.
I've two younger sisters between aged 17 and 15, I didn't like the way they were dressed the last time I visited home so I always try to send them a token every month end to get new cloths. This Xmas I have a lot on my table and have been brainstorming on how to structure my expenses.
My babe is an only child and a fashion freak so she has loads of cloths in her wardrobe. She offered to give some to my sisters without me even asking. She gave me over 30 different pieces of cloths, and bought an ayaya gown or whatever its called for my mom worth around 15k. This is a student that doesn't even have a reliable means of income and I don't give her much. She opened up that she has been saving to get my mom a gift.
I called my mom this morning to tell her that I would be sending the cloths over with some other stuffs I bought for them and she outrightly rejected the girl's gifts citing spiritual reasons that she cant accept gifts from someone she doesn't know. She even accused the girl of trying to pressure me into marriage by pretending to love my family.
I am 30 years old and have dated countless ladies and none has showed genuine concern towards my family like this particular one. It would be so heart breaking to tell her that my mom rejected her gifts knowing how she enthusiastic she was gathering those items.
Sometimes I get tired of my moms spirituality, she's not considering that my sisters even need those items. Those cloths worth over 50k even as second hand materials. I don't understand why she would dislike someone she hasn't even met before.
How do I handle this situation, I don't know what to do with these items, I can't return it to my girlfriend cos it will really hurt her.
OP wetin dey worry you self? That was a massive red flag from both of you.
Minus the spiritual insinuations, it also means that your family has accepted her if they accepted her gift.
How can a whole family accepts gift from an unknown girl friend they have never seen in person before? If na your younger brother do that kind thing, you no go flog am?
Wey you...use your head oh. Carry that girl go show your people first. Do you want to compromise a full family all because your babe ? Don't you know the implications of accepting someone's gift and later rejecting the person when the D-Day come?
I pray your family overlook this una first red flag, because you don't have the 2nd chance to make the 1st impression.
zakkxx: Oga obey your mother, some mothers are retired olosho, when they see their colleague they know! Obey your mother before that girl use fornication to confuse your life! Oga only your father can tell if your mother is a good wife! Your mom will always be a good mother to you! Listen to her. Don’t be stupid they are saving you from calamity! Respect that woman live her alone, your so call girlfriend want to buy your mothers love, e no work! Shine your eyes mr man and obey your mother! Any woman your mother and Sister dislikes live that girl alone except that your girl friend is a genuine born again but if you and that girl friend are committing fornication run ooo! If that girl insists on no sex till wedding night and na strong born again in character and everything, convinced your mom! But if you guys are fornicating, your mother is vindicated! From your statement it seems your mother na strong born again; obey her pls!
Wahala for who carry I'm matter come NL ahh... dis one hash ooo
Justbehave: Your mum is wiser than you. A student with no means of livelihood that is a fashion freak is nothing but an olosho. Your mum knows but you are blinded by the free pussy she's giving you.
Supreme145: So I've been dating this lady since early this year and everything has been going on smoothly, in fact I even had to tell my mom about her, the first time I would talk to my mother about a lady, but she sounded not too pleased about the lady. Someone she hasn't even met physically.
I've two younger sisters between aged 17 and 15, I didn't like the way they were dressed the last time I visited home so I always try to send them a token every month end to get new cloths. This Xmas I have a lot on my table and have been brainstorming on how to structure my expenses.
My babe is an only child and a fashion freak so she has loads of cloths in her wardrobe. She offered to give some to my sisters without me even asking. She gave me over 30 different pieces of cloths, and bought an ayaya gown or whatever its called for my mom worth around 15k. This is a student that doesn't even have a reliable means of income and I don't give her much. She opened up that she has been saving to get my mom a gift.
I called my mom this morning to tell her that I would be sending the cloths over with some other stuffs I bought for them and she outrightly rejected the girl's gifts citing spiritual reasons that she cant accept gifts from someone she doesn't know. She even accused the girl of trying to pressure me into marriage by pretending to love my family.
I am 30 years old and have dated countless ladies and none has showed genuine concern towards my family like this particular one. It would be so heart breaking to tell her that my mom rejected her gifts knowing how she enthusiastic she was gathering those items.
Sometimes I get tired of my moms spirituality, she's not considering that my sisters even need those items. Those cloths worth over 50k even as second hand materials. I don't understand why she would dislike someone she hasn't even met before.
How do I handle this situation, I don't know what to do with these items, I can't return it to my girlfriend cos it will really hurt her.
one angle is you are yet to Introduce her to your mum. therefore your mum is highly likely to reject her until they both have interacted.
the other angle....from the way you sound your family no too hold. your mum is simply scared your attention may shift when you get married especially financial aspect. even if you bring another woman may be same story and it's most likely she will want to be the one to give you a wife. one she can control lol. your potential wife also being an only child not helping matters too as she will definitely be attached to her parents.
you have to apply sense in dealing with this issue lol. sit down and think well, it's the usual mother v daughter in law battle. it has just started
I even thought I was communicating with someone reasonable, I don't have time to exchange insults...bye
The biggest mistake you made was to bring your case to nairaland, these children are full of bitterness and hate most of them had been burnt by girls so when they see a guy with a healthy relationship envy sets in and they try everything to crash the relationship. You will not get reasonable answer here.
Justbehave: No normal person will accept such gifts from a anybody who doesn't have means of livelihood and a student for that matter. You think say op mother no know Wetin the girl dey do?
Justbehave: Your mum is wiser than you. A student with no means of livelihood that is a fashion freak is nothing but an olosho. Your mum knows but you are blinded by the free pussy she's giving you.
She said I shouldn't send for the girls either, that the spiritual warfare of her children is her concern. I still plan to send the cloths to my sisters, I doubt they will forgive her if she stops them from wearing them cos I know all ladies loves cloths and these ones are too fine to be rejected.
Bros Are you okay? Your mom is By far wiser than you and yet out your rebellion you still want to go ahead with the said gifts? Oga to slap you now just dey hungry me.
You might not understand what your mom just did for you but sooner or later you'll kneel down and thank God for sending you that woman. Your mom is like your guardian angel. You simps men are really terrible. Oga you better Stop thinking Emotionally and start thinking logically with your brain.
Words of wisdom...thanks Exactly the same direction I was thinking, I observed she doesn't like me talking about any lady or woman in my life.
Serious problem you need to pay attention to. Is your dad still in the picture of things?
Sorry to say, but omo! you get battle to fight, even scarier because, it is you mum. Your mama is not ready to let her "husband" go. Assuming daddy is no longer. Make i just break am for you. As mama dey look you so, no be pikin she dey see oh. na husband. I see alot of spiritual blackmail up ahead.
naturefellow: don't be daft, especially on Christmas Day
Are you okay? Normally no sane human will accept such a gift, not even on a Christmas day. Advice the girl to take the clothes and gifts to the orphanage home if she's that serious with giving them out. U think op's Mom is stupid or what? Sense is far from you
Words of wisdom...thanks Exactly the same direction I was thinking, I observed she doesn't like me talking about any lady or woman in my life.
But I will like to ask, are u the only son? Do your mom & siblings hugely depend on u financially? What about your dad? I am asking this because women see fellow women as threat, if u are the only source of financial help in your home, they may see u getting married now as threat, because once you get get married, your attention will shift to your wife & children. This maybe a possible reason too
Supreme145: So I've been dating this lady since early this year and everything has been going on smoothly, in fact I even had to tell my mom about her, the first time I would talk to my mother about a lady, but she sounded not too pleased about the lady. Someone she hasn't even met physically.
I've two younger sisters between aged 17 and 15, I didn't like the way they were dressed the last time I visited home so I always try to send them a token every month end to get new cloths. This Xmas I have a lot on my table and have been brainstorming on how to structure my expenses.
My babe is an only child and a fashion freak so she has loads of cloths in her wardrobe. She offered to give some to my sisters without me even asking. She gave me over 30 different pieces of cloths, and bought an ayaya gown or whatever its called for my mom worth around 15k. This is a student that doesn't even have a reliable means of income and I don't give her much. She opened up that she has been saving to get my mom a gift.
I called my mom this morning to tell her that I would be sending the cloths over with some other stuffs I bought for them and she outrightly rejected the girl's gifts citing spiritual reasons that she cant accept gifts from someone she doesn't know. She even accused the girl of trying to pressure me into marriage by pretending to love my family.
I am 30 years old and have dated countless ladies and none has showed genuine concern towards my family like this particular one. It would be so heart breaking to tell her that my mom rejected her gifts knowing how she enthusiastic she was gathering those items.
Sometimes I get tired of my moms spirituality, she's not considering that my sisters even need those items. Those cloths worth over 50k even as second hand materials. I don't understand why she would dislike someone she hasn't even met before.
How do I handle this situation, I don't know what to do with these items, I can't return it to my girlfriend cos it will really hurt her.
Give it time..Guy it was rude for you to allow your girlfriend send gifts to your siblings not to talk of your mum when they have not met or even have a relationship with her.. dont sell your family cheap . .. thats what a reasonably sound mum with self respect will do.. so dont build castles around it.. if your girlfriend doesnt understand that then she needs to grow up.. may be you need to be more mature about your affairs too .. you shouldn't have let that happen..maybe when they know her and develop a relationship with her then the gifts and all can come but never before.. it reeks of desperation.. apologise to mummy and your siblings and take the blame .. say it was all your idea.. and shield her .. be the fall guy for this fkup and give a chance for her to grow into you family if you realy like her and want to take that relationship a step further
