Emmanuel909090:
■If you are married or you have plenty married friends, believe me you won't be saying this. I would have sounded same way as you, but I have witnessed some cases. Love is not enough, it only takes a woman that wants to stay to keep her home abroad, because misunderstanding is inevitable, and African women have pride much more than the men.
■ When 70% of people abroad complain and say same thing, you should know there is an atom of truth in it. Most times this women regret, but it's always too late.
■Not to forget. Love is for the man and respect is for the woman, even the bible says so. You can never treat a man with respect and you won't feel loved, asides a man having issues with his brain.

1. Stop spewing bullsheet! Even a 5-year-old these days knows love alone can't sustain a relationship. It is is full-time job of its own.

2. What 70% of men abroad? Also, I repeat, Cameroonians, Ghanaians, Benin, Senegalese, Chad, even Hausa men dey for that same UK married to Nigerian women, and we no dey hear even peep from them. Na only una dey go UK go make noise say na women do una, why? Na only una dey abroad?

3. Paul, who you attempted to quote there said instead that husbands and wives be willing to serve each other out of respect for Christ urged husbands to love their wives as wife respect their husbands. If you are a follower of Paul then my first question to you is are you at least serving your wife as Paul says you should?

You seem to want respect first before you show your woman love. You put your ego first and you think quoting from scripture will help you in what is foolishness? Please grow a brain this year.

Kobojunkie:
Mexicans, Francs, Italians, Cameroonians, Ghanaians, Kenyans, etc., also date and marry those black girls, but na only Nigerian men dey white. How come?.

One tree does not a forest make.

Alusiizizi:
One tree does not a forest make.

You should tell that to folks like the OP.

Dangrace01:
■Very possible now. Nigeria society is a blank society
Uk society favours women. Women have heard mentality and listen to friends alot. If you do it, it would benefit you as a woman and your child. The woman has nothing to loose. So many women would do it.

■Lets even leave Nigeria. Divorce is a common thrend in the western world. Are the white men mistreating the women.

■Why are white men traveling to different continent to look for wives

1. Stop lying! UK does not favor women. Instead, what it does not favor is the African marriage model where the man sits himself as god in marriage while the women is meant to take care of home and children.

2. Divorce does not only result from maltreatment. It is natural for humans to grow apart hence divorce.

3. The same white men are marrying their own women everyweek. So it is never a case of white men abandoning their own women enmasse.

jimmychang:
Protecting lol,Nigerian women have no culture and are extremely greedy.Even the good men are still suffering.My uncle is a prime example.He married a witch.

Is your uncle still married to said witch?.

jimmychang:
The problem with Nigerian women is that they cannot tame their hypergamy. Our men were groomed to believe that only money will keep women and so when we have less and she start getting attention outside we start getting insecure and start transferring that aggression to them .Domestic violence is a no no sha.

He is dating a hot babe what was he expecting.He go see shege

So men were groomed wrongly and so it is women to blame for the foolishness of thee upbringing of these men?

Kobojunkie:
You should tell that to folks like the OP.

I'm afraid you misunderstand. The OP mentioned 99 percent of Nigerian women. Although this figure might be a bit exaggerated it is not far off from the truth. You see, even if the OPs was laser point correct about his 99 percent, then the remaining 1 percent would constitute but a small collection of trees, hardly enough to make a forest.

Alusiizizi:
I'm afraid you misunderstand. The OP mentioned 99 percent of Nigerian women. Although this figure might be a bit exaggerated it is not far off from the truth. You see, even if the OPs was laser point correct about his 99 percent, then the remaining 1 percent would constitute but a small collection of trees, hardly enough to make a forest.

I have lived for well over 2 decades in abroad knowing Nigerians from all works of life and so know enough to see that stories such as the one told you by OP do not come any close to making up reality for even a meaningful minority of Nigerians abroad, let alone the majority.

Marital issues, divorce included, are not unique to Nigerians nor are such cases to blame on Nigerian women. Any reasonable individual would know such issues are meant to be dissected on a case by case basis.

Kobojunkie:
I have lived for well over 2 decades in abroad knowing Nigerians from all works of life and so know enough to see that stories such as the one told you by OP do not come any close to making up reality for even a meaningful minority of Nigerians abroad, let alone the majority.

Don't try to deceive us, or even yourself. I have experience abroad as well and I know for a fact that the OPs story is typical of the Nigerian husbands experience in the U.S and U.K. Most of the time it's invisible because shame compels the couple to hide these issues from the public light but venture into their homes and you will see a firestorm. The OP is right in sharing this cautionary story about Nigerian women based abroad, to prevent other Nigerian men from making the mistake of either relocating their wives to the U.K or marrying U.K based Nigerian girls.

Nigerian women overseas are devil incarnate especially the ones who suffered here before movie overseas.... Other tribal nationalists overseas respect and adore their husband even if they make millions but Nigeria women... I really don't understand why it is so...in courts overseas Nigerian women cases against their husbands top the number of other cases overseas........

Alusiizizi:
■Don't try to deceive us, or even yourself. I have experience abroad as well and I know for a fact that the OPs story is typical of the Nigerian husbands experience in the U.S and U.K.
■Most of the time it's invisible because shame compels the couple to hide these issues from the public light but venture into their homes and you will see a firestorm.
■The OP is right in sharing this cautionary story about Nigerian women based abroad, to prevent other Nigerian men from making the mistake of either relocating their wives to the U.K or marrying U.K based Nigerian girls.

1. Yet as we speak, there are over 100,000 Nigerian husbands in their homes both in the UK and in the US who are living quietly with their Nigerian wives, how come - Look up census data from the U.S. census.
2. Shame? Is that a joke of some sort?
3. A story, a product of what amounts to flawed reasoning on his part is a cautionary story?

In some countries overseas they have momentarily stopped Niger women from taking their husbands to Courts...

Kingsmm55:
In some countries overseas they have momentarily stopped Niger women from taking their husbands to Courts...

By your assertion, these women were deprived of what is their constitutional right by law on grounds that they are Nigerians?

When will you people begin to borrow Sense abeg?,

Kobojunkie:
1. Yet as we speak, there are over 100,000 Nigerian husbands in their homes both in the UK and in the US who are living quietly with their Nigerian wives, how come - Look up census data from the U.S. census.
2. Shame? Is that a joke of some sort?
3. A story, a product of what amounts to flawed reasoning on his part is a cautionary story?

Go into their homes to verify if they really are living "quietly" with their Nigerian wives. Look, there's no way that you can twist or cherry-coat the problem. These societies tempt our women to turn into animals, and the vast majority of them, being the women that they are eventually do. A few of the men might even try to make the marriage "work" by turning themselves into something that they are not, i.e, a SIMP, but eventually the charade wears off and the whole union inevitably collapses.

Alusiizizi:
■Go into their homes to verify if they really are living "quietly" with their Nigerian wives.
■Look, there's no way that you can twist or cherry-coat the problem. These societies tempt our women to turn into animals, and the vast majority of them, being the women that they are eventually do.
■A few of the men might even try to make the marriage "work" by turning themselves into something that they are not, i.e, a SIMP, but eventually the charade wears off and the whole union inevitably collapses.

1. Typically, abroad when a couple are no longer able to live quietly, they separate and divorce follows shortly after. Unlike the foolish culture of sitting back and suffering meaninglessly that is Nigeria, most marriages abroad break when peace ceases. So you don't need to go into the houses to check anything. There is no need to hide foolishness in a marriage that is not working here.
2. Cherrycoat? The worst part is most of you commenting have never lived even a semester of your lives abroad so you swallow any story that conveniently fits with any delusion you hold to instead of opening your eyes to reality.
3. Make marriage work by turning into simps? You lot really swallow nonsense you hear from other fools for facts. Don't you.

For a small percentage of Naija men, it is true that their "misogyny" is curbed abroad but that is a small percentage.

For a growing percentage of Naija women abroad, and there is a noticeable pattern of them hanging out with the "wrong" people to cause this, the awareness that they are in a more favourable environment seemingly gives them an innate need to want to fully control their family including their husbands.

Wrong people they mix with could be embittered divorcees/single mums or fake Pastors that don't encourage them to fully emotionally invest in their marriage and also that make the wives see issues were there isn't any.

Sadly also, some men accept this unnatural order of things and have turned subservient in their own homes. Other women see this and also want it in their own homes.

The combination of the husband refusing to be a child in his own home and the wrong people described above continously chirping into the woman's ears is a huge cause of marriages having major problems abroad.

My take looking at it all from afar.

Romanoff:


With the stigma you people place on divorcees and single mums?

Why do you think some endure yeye marriages even though they can afford to care for their children without the husband.

Is it not because of what people will say?

Umu nwanyi !! Guys have been dealing with stigma all there life. They are called broke for been a victim of failed government. They are called one minute man. If you dont want stigma. Then do your research before settling down

Kobojunkie:
Same should go for the man, shouldn't it? If his wife is indeed the problem then no need for the whinning, just simply divorce her and move on.

Sure, if you disrespect your husband here in nigeria(that is if you ever get married). He will kick you out of his house. Is as simple as that

Creativity22:

Sure, if you disrespect your husband here in nigeria(that is if you ever get married). He will kick you out of his house. Is as simple as that

Ok,so why then do Nigerian men abroad not apply the same treatment to their women abroad, this instead of whining and playing victims? Divorce is just as easy to get abroad, so why do these men not apply the very same "it is as simple as that" logic to it there?.

Romanoff:


I am married and I have plenty married friends.

You are married to jesus

GloriousGbola:


That is just a different culture - one the Nigerian man cannot understand because he comes from a place where godly and righteous women will exhort wives to literally die in the marriage.

Example When I was in uni there was this couple who had been dating from secondary school


Problem is the chick was hotter than the guy and she started getting toasters. The guys response to this competition was to start beating the gf up. The guys mother got to know and was advising the girl that this was a show of love.

This is what Nigerian males are used to. It is what it is. You can always choose to stay in Nigeria where you can do whatever you want and society will be firmly behind you

Yeah the same society that normalised love scam. Practised daily by women. The same women you are vouching for, not to take advantage of the western society and steal all there man has laboured for.

Creativity22:

Yeah the same society that normalised love scam. Practised daily by women. The same women you are vouching for, not to take advantage of the western society and steal all there man has laboured for.

You poor boys

Crystalom5:
lolz.

Some of you think everyone will be able to spend enough time with their family without them starving the very next day or been thrown out of school.

We've seen men in rain and sunshine trying to ensure that you have a warm roof over your head before your mother thinks of loving you.

God bless your soul. Some people here are just IDIOTS

Kobojunkie:
1. Typically, abroad when a couple are no longer able to live quietly, they separate and divorce follows shortly after. Unlike the foolish culture of sitting back and suffering meaninglessly that is Nigeria, most marriages abroad break when peace ceases. So you don't need to go into the houses to check anything. There is no need to hide foolishness in a marriage that is not working here.
2. Cherrycoat? The worst part is most of you commenting have never lived even a semester of your lives abroad so you swallow any story that conveniently fits with any delusion you hold to instead of opening your eyes to reality.
3. Make marriage work by turning into simps? You lot really swallow nonsense you hear from other fools for facts. Don't you.

The reason why I'm still responding to this is so as not to give unexposed Nigerian men the impression that there is something to salvage in a UK/US wedding. Your disposition is all too telling from your words as you refer to our culture as "foolish", as such any meaningful discourse on this issue is dead on arrival. You think that our culture is foolish, then continue living in a land without foolish culture, you and the Nigerian men that can handle wedding a UK based girl, as most Nigerian men simply cannot do this, it is not the way that we were built.

Contrary to your second point I have spent a good long time in the western world and I know as a matter of fact that there is no cherrycoating going on. You may(or may not) be right about your assertion that most of the comments are from folks that "have never lived even a semester" abroad but that certainly should not stop them from learning from those fortunate(or unfortunate) enough as the case may be to have been so priviledged.

Your third point is little more than deflection. We see examples of western marriages every day of the week and so pretending that the 800 pound gorilla is not seated in the center of the room is a bit disingenuous of you, don't you think.

Romanoff:


So a man will love his wife and treat her with respect and she'll just wake up one day, as she's Medusa, and treat him as bad as OP described?

Wawu!.

You don't know anything. Lol.
In my own family alone...... don't let me talk.

Kobojunkie:
So men were groomed wrongly and so it is women to blame for the foolishness of thee upbringing of these men?

Read and understand,The first sentence is for Nigerian women the second sentence us for the men.If you no get sense no dey quote my mentions again abeg.Didn't you at least finish secondary school?

Which can daunces full nairaland.

Kingzeez10:

You don't know anything. Lol.
In my own family alone...... don't let me talk.

Leave them,women are saints to them.No gender has monopoly of wickedness.

GloriousGbola:



You poor boys

Idiot !! Even elon musk wouldn't want to loose one cent to a greedy, money conscious nigerian woman

Kobojunkie:
Ok,so why then do Nigerian men abroad not apply the same treatment to their women abroad, this instead of whining and playing victims? Divorce is just as easy to get abroad, so why do these men not apply the very same "it is as simple as that" logic to it there?.

Because the western system is messed up and biased against men. The family system is at the brink of total collapse in western countries . How much does most of these women have, before they got married ? The men literally pulled most of them out of share penury. If you think the men are having it easy. Try and make money. Am sure there are many men that would gladly swap role with you, if you get married.you become the breadwinner and protect the family the family from external aggression

ogunara:

They are horrible in the USA too. Even black American women are better to date here.

Yes they are bad there too but American women should be the last kind you date. Nigerian women are far better than American women(regardless of white/black).
Black American women are the most divorced, least married and have the highest rate of children out of wedlock than any other group.
How are they better than Nigerian women?

OmoIjebuOde:
My wife is a Nurse and she's about to relocate to the UK.

I will join her later with the kids. Are you now advising me to remain in Nigeria because of UK government?

Good luck to you. Just know that you can't expect your wife to be the same wife you have known all along, so many things will change about her just because you are changing your environment. Just prepare your mind, know what is coming and how to deal with it.
A bros in my neighbourhood experienced the same thing after his wife joined him abroad. Their marriage almost crumbled because of the newly found power by the wife. Something will have to be sacrificed by you no matter what!

Creativity22:
■Because the western system is messed up and biased against men. The family system is at the brink of total collapse in western countries . ■How much does most of these women have, before they got married ? The men literally pulled most of them out of share penury. If you think the men are having it easy. Try and make money. Am sure there are many men that would gladly swap role with you, if you get married.you become the breadwinner and protect the family the family from external aggression

1. So the fault isn't with Nigerian women then but the fact that the western system does not allow Nigerian men the same freedoms dey enjoy in Nigeria?.
2. Essentially, these Nigerian men realizing themselves powerless against the western system and unwilling to accept blame for their refusal to adjust to the western way,turn around to blame Nigerian women for their woes? .