My Marriage Is Stressing Me - Family - Nairaland
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| My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Nobody: 5:05am On Jan 10, 2023 |
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home. He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food. This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep. I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up. All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad. I have no love, respect for him. I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me. I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry. I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work. Have you been in this kind of situation? What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations? 54 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by EmzyT: 5:09am On Jan 10, 2023 |
I'm short of words 9 Likes
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| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by FERNANDEZISBACK: 5:17am On Jan 10, 2023 |
Speak to him about it..if he doesn'tsn't head to your advice then i'd advise you file for a divorce!  The thing is pathological gambling has the potential to destroy marriages – and if your soon-to-be-ex has a gambling problem...you know how difficult it can be to deal with...When you're divorcing someone with a gambling issue..you're up against many obstacles...You might even question whether your companion has a gambling problem or is simply reckless and irresponsible... Many people have misconceptions regarding what constitutes problematic gambling... Your partner may have a gambling addiction even if he does not gamble every day or can afford to lose money.. Gambling addiction is frequently marked by: • Feeling compelled to keep gambling a secret.. • When there isn't enough money to spare he gambles.. • Having difficulties keeping his gambling under control.. Spouses and children frequently pay the price for one person's gambling addiction...Bills may go unpaid..budgets may have to be stretched, and gambling can even result in job loss... It may sound cliched.. but gamblers must desire to seek help...You won't help your spouse stop gambling unless he recognizes that there is a problem and is eager to seek treatment... Even so..your companion must adhere to the treatment plan and in most situations refrain from gambling... If you're considering divorcing someone with a gambling addiction.. the first thing you should do is go to a divorce lawyer.. Your lawyer can explain how alimony is calculated and how your marital property (or debt) will be shared. He or she will also respond to any of your inquiries about the divorce process taking into account your specific circumstances... Enjoy! 42 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by ibechris(m): 5:26am On Jan 10, 2023 |
Gambling is one of the most destructive habits in Nigeria. It has rendered men and women useless,inefficient,lazy and terrible,spoilt and some armed robbers. There is always this tendency for stealing anything around them,that which most of them indulge in. I pity u real good and i can tell what u have gone through to still keep the family going. MY advice is for u to Google and seek ways to solve this problem or u report him to his family as soon as possible. Note: that some would advice wrongly because they own naija bet shops,so be careful of the kind of advice they will give u here. 94 Likes 6 Shares |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by dollytino4real(f): 5:41am On Jan 10, 2023 |
all4zionlover:my sister, we plenty inside dis kind marriage wahala but kip ur mind of him n face ur kids as i am doing to survive here!! My own not gambling but money dey finish but he reach house 40 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by InfernoNig: 5:50am On Jan 10, 2023 |
Eyaaa. Pele. Pray for intervention. Talk to God, lean on him rather than man, a shoulder to lean on is a dick to ride on. 23 Likes |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Kobojunkie: 5:51am On Jan 10, 2023 |
all4zionlover:1. 2. Depression seems to have set in meaning you need to do something different from what you have been doing up till now. 3. Will you be happier if your boys grew up to become terrible husbands and fathers just like their dad is? Though terrible, your children will definitely recover eventually from being torn from their dad but I doubt they can recover from the bad examples he will set for them if they continue to grow up around him and his disease. 4. Here are a couple of links to posts from others who are dealing with something similar to what you detailed. Feel free to read through the stories and many suggestions to help you at least understand that you are not alone, and leaving him in order to find better for you and your kids is not the end of the world. https://www.nairaland.com/7325688/tired-marriageplease#116530995 https://www.nairaland.com/7151446//2#113290999 https://www.nairaland.com/7012208/want-peacefully-divorce-husband#110704919 https://www.nairaland.com/6974104//1#110042439 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Wiseandtrue(f): 6:11am On Jan 10, 2023 |
Change your strategy Stop being on the defensive but on the offensive Ask him money for upkeeps regularly in a natural way, this will keep him on his feet and will make him more responsible! He must have a good side, work on that, your unwavering love for him will bring him around now that he is down! No be say any small misbehavior una go dey think of divorce Everything in life still need prayer, don't forget to ! Modified Kobojunkie:If to say the guy gamble and win millions now She will only be telling us how she was the supporting wife and she fit no even tell us! If you see your husband as your friend or child, you will understand and love them better 108 Likes 8 Shares |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Kobojunkie: 6:17am On Jan 10, 2023 |
Wiseandtrue:How would she go about this — abandoning what you claim a "the defensive" stance — in order to change her circumstance abeg? 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Kobojunkie: 6:20am On Jan 10, 2023 |
Wiseandtrue:Her unwavering love for him will bring him around now that he is down. WOW...  8 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by frozen70(f): 7:04am On Jan 10, 2023 |
all4zionlover: Just be calm and focus on your children You have to be strong and train those children especially on education As for your spouse, don't give him shishi, don't even look at his direction so that he doesn't weigh you down So far he is not caring about the whole situation and he doesn't bring food, feed your children, he will sort himself out The more you become pregnant the more the burden for you 43 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Richy4(m): 7:50am On Jan 10, 2023 |
The write up is A bit contradicting...or maybe I misunderstood it.. Who is earning salary amongst you that he was betting away? at least I know you were not working...u were into trading..... Does he work and earn a living then gamble it away? Because u said he was depending on you.. Please make it a bit clearer. <<husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home. <<He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. <<I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Just asking because If he is working and then gambling it away, the advice you might get will be different from when he isn't working at all. 2 Likes |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by MumEmdy(f): 8:19am On Jan 10, 2023 |
Richy4: According to my understanding, he will gamble away his salary and even try to get the little she is using to trade which is also affecting her capital, failure to give him money usually attract malicious living from him. 27 Likes |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by BigDick70inch(m): 8:32am On Jan 10, 2023 |
all4zionlover: U should man up to your problem...... Didn't u see or notice all the then red flag while dating/courting him?? |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Kobojunkie: 9:01am On Jan 10, 2023 |
BigDick70inch:Even if she did, does that mean she cannot decide now that she has had enough of the problem? 20 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by BigDick70inch(m): 9:03am On Jan 10, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: Well.....tis off already |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Kobojunkie: 9:12am On Jan 10, 2023 |
BigDick70inch:Will you advice your own brother or son to remain shackled to a problem in much the same way as you have advised OP here? 7 Likes |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Nobody: 9:12am On Jan 10, 2023 |
Wiseandtrue:Its easy for you to write this, because you have never walk in the shoe. Anyway, you will never walk in these shoes. Don't jump into conclusion on a matter you have no details about. You don't know the depth of what I'm saying 5 Likes |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Nobody: 9:16am On Jan 10, 2023 |
frozen70:Thanks. That's what I'm doing now. The two children are enough for me. |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by BigDick70inch(m): 9:17am On Jan 10, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: Off course yes..... If he isn't mentally re.tarded to think right, saw the signs early enough......but chose to ignore...... definitely he sud be bold enough to damn the consequences..... |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Kobojunkie: 9:21am On Jan 10, 2023 |
BigDick70inch:For whose benefit does he "damn the consequences"? 2 Likes |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Nobody: 9:23am On Jan 10, 2023 |
Richy4:He has a job, earn salary but gambles all away and return to depend on me for everything including feeding, transport, every other things. His salary is strictly for betting, why every other needs is on me 1 Like |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Mindlog: 9:34am On Jan 10, 2023 |
Just make sure no more pregnancy, don't give him any money no matter the disguise, don't serve him food if he didn't drop money for feeding the family . I hope his family of birth are aware of this mental disorder. Ignore him when he adopts malice as a means to emotionally blackmail you, it is expected of such addicts. 8 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Wiseandtrue(f): 10:44am On Jan 10, 2023 |
all4zionlover:How will I understand what you did not say If you were not married, you would have prayed to God for someone to call your own We all have our weaknesses, the problem with most wives is that they usually think that marriage is a bed of roses  Forget all these media melodrama, everything need to be worked on! Let me ask all of you something, if you have a business and it is not doing well, do you just abandon it  Why abandon your husbands when they need a friend They are also humans and have their moment of weakness too Please note that I will not advice anyone to stay in a domestic vawulent marriage But some marriages can be saved if only we made an effort!!! 9 Likes |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by jeromestarks: 10:45am On Jan 10, 2023 |
Op, you chose your calamity with your own hands. Many good men approached you when you were younger and beautiful but you pushed them all away. You played some like football. You rejected good men for this guy because he showered you with money. Now you're regretting. You wished you had accepted one of those good men who doesn't have iphones then. Now you wish they came back. You have lost your chance for a happy home! This is the price you pay for chasing good men away and taking their love for granted. You are paying with your happiness. Everyone pays eventually. 8 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Elokristi: 10:59am On Jan 10, 2023 |
I believe dialogue should be your last resort here, try to give him reasons why that habit should come to an abrupt end, while at it make sure you don't raise voice to avoid violence. Talk to him like a mother, remember to treat him well that day and serve him his favourite dish before engaging him. Tell him about the dangers of gambling and how the economy is no longer funny for an average Joe not to talk of a whole family. Give him business ideas and how you people need to start a project that will take the family out of poverty, try this and you will see him turn a new leaf. Me wey dey give this advice never marry oo, still in my early twenties, hopefully you will take this advice from me your younger brother. 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by frozen70(f): 10:59am On Jan 10, 2023 |
all4zionlover: Good girl that's what you are You will come out stronger and be an independent woman 1 Like |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by udomonday: 11:15am On Jan 10, 2023 |
Make sure you hide your money well,stop giving him money,use the little money to take care of your kids, whenever he comes back let him sleep on an empty stomach,since he did not drop money for food. 1 Like |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by IamANigerianMan: 11:15am On Jan 10, 2023 |
all4zionlover:Madam if you were aware of some these character before married him please endure with him but you are not aware , try to talk to his senses, if he did not stop, try to talk to his friends, father, mother and sibling concerns your husband character, if he refused to change, if you are Christian tell your pastor or Rev Fr, if he refused to change divoice him.. before another person take of your children. 1 Like |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by nicerod(m): 11:30am On Jan 10, 2023 |
Omo This one is serious o Wish he can see how much you are hurt 2 Likes
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| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by Sirmuel1(m): 12:06pm On Jan 10, 2023 |
That betting is an addiction. Just take it easy |
| Re: My Marriage Is Stressing Me by sukkot: 12:07pm On Jan 10, 2023 |
| bia nuzo biko omena omena. big lo na bia, lanre baba. |
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