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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married (52601 Views)
35-Year-Old Kenyan Man Praises Sexual Prowess Of His 70-Year-Old American Wife / My 83-Year-old Father Is Getting Married To A 60-Year-Old Lady / My 35 Year Old Brother Is Still A Trouble To My Parents and siblings (2) (3) (4)
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Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by sonofthunder: 9:20pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Fineman2: I don't have enough information to be able to conclude if he's being controlling or you are lacking submissiveness. Do you think he loves you? Has he done a thing or two (within his ability) that makes you feel he loves you? Can you share? Also what are both of you dispositions spiritually/religiously ? |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by luckyz4rea(m): 10:10pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
ednut1: Have you also read proverbs 3:5-7? |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by fortunechy(m): 10:15pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
If u rush in u might rush out. Broken relationship is better than broken marriage. I have seen ladies getting married at 40 and above but that's not ur portion... My dear seek the face of God.... That's all I want to say. 1 Like |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by IgbosNIGHTMARE: 10:16pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Fineman2:If you're a virgin or with just one BODYCOUNT, SEE IT HAS A RED FLAG AND DUMP HIM. IF YOU'RE A WHÓRË (MORE THAN 2 BODYCOUNT), MANAGE AND ENDURE. THAT'S ALL. |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by IgbosNIGHTMARE: 10:17pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Kajaard:Or deh Must you live in a toxic country? Leave Nigeria and go to where you can do as you please without consequences. |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by smile14: 10:21pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
1st of all,doz of u sayng where have u been or why dis long bfore settling down,go f**k urselvx,last i checked shes nt God.aunty if really ur story is true a year plus is enough to know if he's the bossy type (d man)i didnt read any part u say he suggest and he refused ur idea or anything from u.if u think really hhe's going to push u around n u cant take take it den follow up ur instinct,married nor b do or die,abi u nor dey see divorce upanda,live ur life chop life dnt allow anybody pressure u,cut dem off stay away from dem change environment. Who married eh |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by ekevwe(m): 10:26pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
adetunrayo:leave face of God out of this. This is Nigeria problem. Religion. Nonzance |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Lincton: 10:31pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Your case is peculiar meanwhile, he who pays the pipper dictate the tune. Evaluate yourself, what makes you stay this long before getting him. Could you stay a little longer for Mr perfect? Dear sister, love covers multitude of... Admit him and love him for his unique quality. The truth is that there is no perfect husband and marriage. |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by bepositive11: 10:42pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
NAC1666: Not all men are cheats. |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by bepositive11: 10:43pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Kajaard: It will continue and even get worse! |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by bepositive11: 10:45pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
You should have been more proactive when you were younger. It's better to be single than married and miserable. Your choice. Fineman2: |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Minatouchiha(m): 10:47pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Aunty... Run. I see plenty of beating and regrets waiting for you. Unless ofcourse, this is a wrong assessment of the true situation. |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Kobojunkie: 10:49pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Lincton:Interesting that you tried there to introduce God to this here. God is love but Love will not hesitate to send a sinner in His Kingdom to Hell. You are using canny cunny to advice her to stake what maybe the rest of her life to covering up multitudes of what appears as control and you attempt to dare mention God too. Una no fear God at all. |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by fitinwell: 10:53pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Fineman2: You never ready to marry.. Ate you the Lord over him.. Would you rather prefer to marry a weakling....? If you are not ready abeg no waste the man Money ooo... |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Sirchigo4: 11:10pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Just marry him, endure till u give birth den change am for am, after all its wat u women normally do. Especially after given birth, una real character go surface. Den finally divorce him. Just enjoy cuz life is too short. I chose my happiness over everything. Make ur happiness count |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by godofuck231: 11:20pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
You are lucky he has the money to buy you a wedding dress, if not you would be looking for money to loan , better still let him take charge hes providing |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by RightToReject(m): 11:25pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Fineman2: So a wife should act on the whims and caprices of her domineering and/or self-absorbing husband to be counted as a submissive wife. Stop equating and propagating servility for submissiveness. Unless she does take delight in being servile, some women, and even some men, do, she should abort mission. |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by yemmie(m): 11:43pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
If you listen to this ...you will be thankful 1. You need to pray for wisdom and the spirit of submissiveness 2. You need to apply emotional intelligence and learn how you can speak to / with your man with humility / respect and get him to do exactly what you desire.. seek advice from woman that have been happily married for at least 20 years 3. You have to internalise that you are the neck of the marriage and your man is the head of your family..the neck is the most important.. the neck support the head and control / guide the movement of the head ..but people only see the head.. you are the one to make or mar your marriage 4. You have to always be a big picture person, always starting with the end in mind for all actions and inactions .. remember woman are 1000 times stronger than men - inner strength / mental strength and so often emotionally more mature 5. You need to start practicing gentility ..discuss issues without raising voice nor allowing your emotions getting the better of you 6. Be big on your spirituality.. you will need so badly Note: you are 35 and he is 40.. you are emotionally more mature being a female.. exhibit absolutely maturity in your dealing with your man ..he will respect you forever and know you are his pillar 2 Likes |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Cromagnon: 11:49pm On Jun 02, 2023 |
Klass99:the stats show unmarried women are more unhappy But continue deceiving the gullible You will learn the hard way like Americans are doing now |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Enemyofpeace: 12:02am On Jun 03, 2023 |
PECON1:what? |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by fynex(m): 12:41am On Jun 03, 2023 |
Fineman2: If you do not feel comfortable If your opinion is not being considered Then I will suggest you do whatever makes you feel better, na you go dey with the man, not those people advising you to endure cos of age. 40yrs old man taking instructions from his family like that is a no no, he's not ready. For your peace & sanity please make your decisions based on what feels right with you. |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Kajaard: 1:19am On Jun 03, 2023 |
IgbosNIGHTMARE: Another fool |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Kobojunkie: 1:30am On Jun 03, 2023 |
yemmie:LOL... Nigerians ehn! In the beginning, God created marriage as a union where man and woman were both equal — as one. Then man fell and so God cursed marriage by making woman submissive to man in marriage. Now, fast forward to 2023, and this Nigerian here is advising a woman to pray to the same God to ask Him to give her a "spirit of submissiveness"(His curse on marriage) so that she can then marry a man she is already afraid is of his controlling aspects over her in the relationship. No be juju dem dey call that? The woman's emotional intelligence is already shooting red flags all over the place for her and this Nigerian here is, against all of that, advising her to learn subdue her emotional intelligence system such that she is then able to speak to the one she perceives as a possible threat with humility/respect in order to get him to do as she pleases instead. No be juju dem dey call that abeg? This same Nigerian then goes on to demand this woman "internalize" her place, not as an equal in the relationship but rather a neck, a subordinate to the man already controlling her, in an attempt to convince her that by being a neck and not a head — the brain of the relationship — she is more important Basically, she shouldn't yearn to be a part of the control center of her own relationship and life. Rather she should opt to and conceive of the notion that even as she sits as a support system for the one in charge, she is somehow of greater value. No be juju be this?
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Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Lastborn0074: 1:30am On Jun 03, 2023 |
You have to weigh the options: what you have seen now will most likely become a norm. So ask yourself, can I cope with this for the rest of my life? If your answer is yes, happy married life, but if no, then know this; a 3broken r/shp is better than a broken marriage. The choice is yours. |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Kobojunkie: 1:34am On Jun 03, 2023 |
Cromagnon:Where is his stats you speak of from abeg? First of all, to be single in the 21st century is completely and utterly ordinary. In fact, in the U.S. there are nearly as many adults who are not married as are married. And of those who are unmarried, close to two thirds have never been married. Furthermore, a Pew Research Centre study estimated that by the time today’s young people reach their 50s, about one quarter of them will have been single all of their lives. |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by sharone21(f): 2:13am On Jun 03, 2023 |
Kajaard: Thanks oooo Even to rent house sef is kasala, they will say they don't want the woman to turn the house into a brothel, but I wonder whether single men don't bring women into the house to sleep with during weekends and some days? Nigerians need to do better to women. |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by denisbid: 2:45am On Jun 03, 2023 |
tommy589:Nonsense people everywhere So make the woman nor get choice because of her age simply because she is a woman? How about the man that is 40 years old he is not married and he will be doing anyhow allowing his family to take decisions over his wife? ,Don't you think he is mumu at 40? Na red flag the man be |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by denisbid: 2:58am On Jun 03, 2023 |
Fineman2:Mrs Dora or whatever That man na red flag you already know it, so it's left for you to continue with the marriage. If you choose to continue with the marriage whatever happens later in life na your choice. But let it not be because you are 35 years old that's why you want hurry into marriage with the wrong person, marriage was suppose to be a thing of happiness for both of you. As much as he has the right to take certain decisions you should also have your right to decline certain decisions. Don't allow anyone to impose their opinions on you simply because you are 35 and you want to get married, not even from your husband |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by davidodufote: 3:16am On Jun 03, 2023 |
Let me tell you the brilliant truth, you claim your relationship was over a year and going perfectly well. Which means for over a year, there was nothing of dominance from him right? See ehn, majority own peeps here are kids who has no first hand experience about marriage and who are relying on the media to run their lives. Marriage come with a whole lot of pressures, which started from wedding preparations, such that is happening to you now. Wedding preparations alone can make you run mad. You must feel the heat, especially if you ain't buoyant financially. I think this is where your hubby to be falls right? If this is the issue, babe just calm down. Have a talk with him. Dont forget that mothers and bride to be are the most important figure for wedding. The way you are dragging him, so will the mother be dragging him. Especially if he's the type who loves his parent pretty much above some decisions. Note: No be all mother in law no dey wan intrude in their son's affairs. Some do it for fun, others do it to claim ownership. Until you sef reach that level, you never know which one you sef go turn out. So my candidate advice is to have a talk with him on what you feel is best for yourself. Do it calmly. No be everything be gragra and I believe you no be small pickin again. So do the right thing and do whats best for yourself. |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by ryfoz(m): 3:25am On Jun 03, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: Is it like this? |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by Kobojunkie: 3:37am On Jun 03, 2023 |
ryfoz:There you go. Yes! |
Re: This 35 Year-old Lady Needs Your Advice As She Plans To Get Married by bashvolley2020: 5:31am On Jun 03, 2023 |
You have to be patient |
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