₦airaland Forum

goshee:
The man no get sense at all.

Did you hear the stupid wife say that since he was the one that wanted her hand in marriage he should be ready to pay the bills? If I was in the man's shoe I will never proceed with the weeding again. Why do women think that men needs marriage more?

That guy is a simp. Before he will come out of that debt it will take him 5 years.

Ehinjuola:
Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

_{He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.}just imagine talk, as if collecting everything ritualistically is a silver bullet that would make the marriage wahala and divorce-proof . Yes nah, even me I will call it extortion cos some parents have not killed their single mother daughters whose baby daddies don't give a damn about their child! I strongly agree that is what people of your parents character deserve so you go back and stay with them and be well cared for!

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

_{He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.}just imagine talk, as if collecting everything ritualistically is a silver bullet that would make the marriage wahala and divorce-proof . Yes nah, even me I will call it extortion cos some parents have not killed their single mother daughters whose baby daddies don't give a damn about their child! I strongly agree that is what people of your parents character deserve so you go back and stay with them and be well cared for!

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

MrsTwrite:
I'm feeling for him, he must have taken loan to make you happy, try and give him some space, do what will make him happy, and not sad, it's too early for all these Wahala.

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Whazar:
Anytime husband side with his own family he is always mamas boy or some immature guy to the society but we all know what you girls are when it is time to take side

Women won’t entertain their spouses family in their matrimonial home but their own fam can live with them

You and your family successfully manipulated the poor guy to marry you at all cost even though you all knew how difficult it was for him and now you come here to lament

Honestly nah the guy I blame cos nobody I repeat nobody or any societal pressure will make me do anything above my budget

Now the guy eye don clear say you no even be V and it’s not really worth all the sacrifice he made, so what’s the essence ? Shior

Jazmine10:
Happens to the best of us! Her tone sef presenting her case imagine her saying the guy is doing well on a #150k salary inferring with audacity that her family's in the best place to make demands as per bride price and he should jump high in obedience. Yes, every family have a right to what they'd ask as bride price but some things are just off. I pray she gets her head off the clouds back to reality and work on her marriage else she's on a long thing. May she seek and find wisdom.

koolaid87:
Marriage self na bizness

goshee:
Marriage is one way of scamming men. The man just realized that he was scammed.

Socratiz:
It is obvious that the debt he went into to sponsor your wedding is taking a toll on his mental health.
It would have been helpful if your response was supportive when he complained that he had to take loans for th wedding. Rather than since he was the one who wanted your hand in marriage, he was supposed to fulfill all obligations, you would have said you understand the challenge both of you are facing with the debt on you both, and you're prepared to find a solution together.

You'd agree that the problem is not only for him, it's for both of you. So the solution must come from you both.

My advice is you approach him and whether he listens directly or not, tell him you want to be involved in solving this challenge.

Find out how much he borrowed. How much he's paying per month. Let him know how much you will contribute.

Face this challenge together and you will win. Do not abandon him as if it doesn't concern you.

Wodu89:
The mentality of the man is that one an individual that can't manage a crisis o. Small things men crumble under pressure that's why little challenge people kill themselves rather than take the lessons, become resilientz persevere, hope and rise in faith taking step by step actions trusting the process


This thread to me exposes the sick psyche of our society. We aren't producing much healthy male species.

Nemesis0147:
Madam,,you asked him to pay the bills your father gave him if he really loved you and he did that by taking up loans….allow the man have peace na…he is thinking of how to pay back the loans he took just to prove his love for you.

You and your family wicked sha and your husband has a lot of guts for taking up loans just to wed you….Odiegwu.
He for leave you for your father make he marry you na.

Wodu89:
Childish behavior. Malice and sulking

talented321:
Imagine giving me list because i want to marry a non virgin' likely olosho''
And to u reading this post' if you like go and take loan to pay any dowry'' last last na depression go kill you '' that blind u have been blinded by love or pussy when u enter inside marriage u eye go open.
* Till today i never still know what will make me to go and take loan to start any marriage'' i can't even reason it.

Brandiebird:
Nairaland, the home of mad people 🙄

okerekingsley90:
You understand it man some things are just off. That man is just passed cos his wife family were not considerate. Don't be surprised these such people would bring burden or even interfere in his marriage. He is just psychologically down cos he feels his wife could have helped in at least reducing items on the list

ibinaboonline:
Hopefully, they'll grow together. What I'll like to know, though, is why the guy went through with all that only to start sulking after the wedding.

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Jazmine10:
Maybe he is not the confrontational type or he followed through for the sake of the love he has for his wife?

mmadu5:
I don’t normally comment on post like this but this one I will surely do .


My dear newly wedded woman you are truly and evil person and inconsiderate I’m sure you don’t even love your husband all you wanted was just to get married and answer married woman I blame your husband for not backing out when he could . He is in for a long ride .

Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.

My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.

It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.

After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.

My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.

When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.

We had little issue then but he later resolved it.

He brought everything they ask him for

During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.

That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.

I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.

His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.

I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.

He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?

I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.

He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.

After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.

I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.

Have I said something wrong?

I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.

I am tired, I don't know what to do.

Wodu89:
Shut up. Una too dey dramatic. I disagree with your stance. Wedding na preparation. He had a choice to marry someone else. Poverty post