| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by sylve11: 1:53pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.
My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.
It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.
After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.
My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.
When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.
We had little issue then but he later resolved it.
He brought everything they ask him for
During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.
That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.
I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.
His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.
I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.
He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?
I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.
I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.
Have I said something wrong?
I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.
I am tired, I don't know what to do. The bolded is so so annoying. Well, let me not say anything further about this issue. I wish you guys well.  |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by martinsU007: 1:54pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Marriages in its early states at times isnt smooth and since a loan was involved to achieve the purpose, he would plan on how to repay. You can only support him by giving him time to turn around and also get something doing to help with the present bills as he would be fine in the long run.
Living together and understanding each other is a new phase in early marriages and at times it takes time. 2 Likes |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Pwettylinda(f): 1:54pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
lopatep:
He don collect loan for ur matter.
A foolish man takes out loan to do wedding
A smart man takes out loan to do business  1 Like |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by fantastic1: 1:54pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Madam shut up. Women will always dodge accountability. A man earns that little and una wan kill am with bill. Yes he was extorted. Your hand in marriage. You should be happy he wants to marry you in as much as he should be happy marrying you.
He is married now and servicing loans are choking him and you want him to be happy. You didn’t know how he got the money because you and your greedy father never cared. All you want is a big wedding to boast your ego. Face your problem. 2 Likes |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Dbestbrest: 1:54pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
I feel your pains but try and handle the matter with love that you shared with him. Know that if he didn't love you, he wouldn't have gone far to borrow money to fulfil his obligations. Anger and frustration may make man say something that's uncalled for in the first place. The word extortion came out of him because of pressure that is coming from where he borrowed money to finance the marriage. If you are working, ask him how much is left to be paid back and know that the debt is on both of you. Plan how 2 of you will pay back so that peace can return to your home. He's under stress. You will get over it afterall |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by tbliss22(m): 1:55pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.
My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.
It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.
After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.
My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.
When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.
We had little issue then but he later resolved it.
He brought everything they ask him for
During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.
That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.
I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.
His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.
I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.
He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?
I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.
I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.
Have I said something wrong?
I don't like what's happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.
I am tired, I don't know what to do. He only felt you didn't mediate in the whole wedding thing to at least see how you can pacify popsi to be lenient with your man. Just calm down, laugh over the whole thing, and focus on your own job, for a month or two try to help him out on his responsibility at home. See if you can ask him the entire loan amount and if you can take it upon your self to offset maybe 10% of it for him. Let him know, you appreciate all that he did and he only did all that because he truly loves you. As time goes on he will be fine and gradually forget the whole thing. |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by MICVOCT(m): 1:55pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Settle the case among yourselves.
✌️ |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Sijo01(f): 1:55pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.
My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.
It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.
After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.
My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.
When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.
We had little issue then but he later resolved it.
He brought everything they ask him for
During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.
That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.
I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.
His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.
I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.
He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?
I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.
I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.
Have I said something wrong?
I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.
I am tired, I don't know what to do. https://www.nairaland.com/7626428/dont-understand-fiancee-behavior-days#122034695It's people like you that makes some users to doubt genuine stories here March 24th you posted that (link) as a male confused about your fiancé behavior. Now you're confused your husband is giving you cold treatments. 5 Likes |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by charlizonto: 1:56pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Of course what were u expecting before?
After your family has milked the guy high and dry and you are still expecting him to be smiling your matrimonial bed..and you cannot even come to his defence for once.. 1 Like |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by tctrills: 1:56pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.
My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.
It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.
After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.
My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.
When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.
We had little issue then but he later resolved it.
He brought everything they ask him for
During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.
That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.
I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.
His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.
I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.
He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?
I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.
I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.
Have I said something wrong?
I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.
I am tired, I don't know what to do. Your family bleeped up and you did not support him when he needed you most. You said his salary is 150k and you actually think that is big? Your husband probably spent more than his 1 year salary just to get married to you and you think your father did well? All he needed was for you to be by his side, for you to talk to your father on his behalf but you bleeped up. You need you feel sorry and ask for forgiveness. 2 Likes |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by royalfly(m): 1:56pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.
My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.
It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.
After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.
My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.
When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.
We had little issue then but he later resolved it.
He brought everything they ask him for
During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.
That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.
I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.
His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.
I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.
He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?
I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.
I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.
Have I said something wrong?
I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.
I am tired, I don't know what to do. U seem a good girl from a bad place. Don't let it linger, just assure him that from now on, you will defend and fight for him, he just needs ur assurance, love him till the end. Continuesly talk to him. All will be fine. And going forward don't bring ur family into this please they were harsh truth be told. Submit and love ur husband. I perceive ur husband is a nice guy. The word u were angry about about extortion, replace that word with another.. he used the word he thought best don't blame him. It was just a mere word that came to mind. To show him love now is by making sure this pass not fighting him that it's wrong. |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by ehay(f): 1:57pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
[color=#006600][/color] Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.
My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.
It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.
After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.
My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.
When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.
We had little issue then but he later resolved it.
He brought everything they ask him for
During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.
That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.
I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.
His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.
I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.
He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?
I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.
I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.
Have I said something wrong?
I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.
I am tired, I don't know what to do. I don't support what your father did. And yes it felt like extortion after reading it. I did what he was expecting of you during my wedding. Your father was suppose to cut down the bride price list for your husband. Look for how you will help him offset the loan your family made him take to marry you. 1 Like |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Emaprince: 1:58pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
That your husband really acted like a weak man. How can he bend to your father's expensive demands? What blessing have you brought into his life to turn his fortune around? He is deep into debt now...and you are there feeding fat and adding to his woes more and more. Your father is a very insensitive man. He acted very wicked. His son inlaw should be his son and he should only want the best for him atleast because of you. The man acted what should have been your mothers script. Cos na women dey wan all this glamorous and show off wedding even when they aren't contributing kobo to it. Your husband can't even stick to something. How much love does he have for you? A woman that can leave him tomorrow? Best thing for him was to abandon the relationship and wedding...your father should provide you his ideal rich man for exotic wedding. You are talking about him emptying his account on top wedding to prove he loves you, as who na  What success have you added in his life since he knew you? Even the job he is doing is paying him peanut at 150k. A single man can't even live comfortable enough on that income let alone a man about to be married, considering the potential expenses. My blame is completely on your husband for being too weak, whether due to stupid love or fear of your military-stand-by-his-words father. He should have moved on from you. He wouldn't have been in this situation. Today the marriage is about to crash cos you can easily walk away, after all it took literally nothing from you...the. he will start afresh trying to pick himself up. Spits!! 2 Likes |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Bintasukai: 1:58pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
From what the lady posted and this response. I just have a feeling all she is going to do is go to her parents and relate the happenings ahome. They will maintain that they did the right thing and there is no going back. As a result, she won’t do anything about it as she knows she doesn’t have money to add to the paying off of his debt. Basically creating a festering enmity from her family to the poor guy. 1 Like |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by 1Hover1(m): 1:59pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Sorry you're going through this... It is a passing phase and I pray it passes quickly.
To answer your question if you did anything wrong, not necessarily, but 1 thing that can inflame a small matter is not addressing the main issue in the first place. If he opened up to you about his feeling that he felt extorted and you were not on his side, you should have addressed that first, even with an apology and then explain that you didn't see it that way then and sorry he feels that way. Assure him you will work together to build back all that have been expended and encourage him.... That might have brought out a different outcome.
Coming at him, questioning him about his right to feel extorted would invalidate his feeling and make him build even more resentment, mind you, it took a lot for him to open up to you.
My advice, go back, apologise and show him your support.
Marriage no be 50-50 ooo... it's 100-100, don't let anyone deceive you that the man should bear all the financial burden and the wife should only support...
During my wedding, the list was quite much, I discussed with my wife and she took it to her dad who saw reasons and reduced it. We did what we could do together and we still till date jointly run our home flexibly (we know what we need every month and this is drawn from our joint account funded by both of us flexibly).... we love that openness and support both of us give to each other and the home and that is part of what makes a home.
All the best. 2 Likes |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by olaztek(m): 2:00pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
You are a wicked family. Your family forced a man earning 150k monthly in this crazy economy to spend above his budget.
Now he's in debt and creditor's are after him and you still expect him to fucking smile at you knowing you are the reason why he is fuc.ked up. 2 Likes |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by henrimoto(m): 2:00pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Jazmine10:
Your Husband is right. Na wisdom dem take dey marry. The Bible even says a wise woman builds her home. If he complained, he knows his financial strength and you check am now,after wedding na marriage na garri una go drink? Or you want am to begin pay igbese? Your role then should have been to mediate between your Father and Your Husband. Las las your pops go want make you go your husband house and make im fit take care of you instead of ostentatious spending for some people wey no go give crap about una if una broke.
Kneel down apologise give am well well. He is your husband you should know what to do to get him come around and one more thing it is you and him always. Even if you no understand or you oppose, trust his leadership except when you see say wetin him dey do no make sense. May GOD help us all with wisdom.
@Negroid001 your attention is needed hia ooh. Coman give your 2cents from a man's perspective. The Op be like person way get High Pride and Bad Entitlement Mentality. "If you love me, you would provide all of the things" - imagine such words! The OP had really demoralized her husband's mind during that marriage rites period. ... Even in the Op's write up, no sense of remorse over her past altitude during the marriage rites preparation. Let me tell you what your husband will do next, I doubt he would allow any of your parents to come visiting. 3 Likes |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by sylve11: 2:00pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
OgwuEgo:
He thought you were a virgin but he was disappointed on the wedding night. Ah!  |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by wunmi590(m): 2:01pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.
My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.
It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.
After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.
My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.
When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.
We had little issue then but he later resolved it.
He brought everything they ask him for
During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.
That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.
I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.
His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.
I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.
He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?
I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.
I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.
Have I said something wrong?
I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.
I am tired, I don't know what to do. If I'm I his shoes, I will also get angry with you. Because you know him and his pocket more than your parent, being that N150,000 is a small money in this our present day Nigeria... Even when you were not supporting him from your parent, at least you should have supported him with cash, to support the list he was given... See there's life after marriage, though I spent millions on my marriage, but I saved close to 3years before I was able to do it, because I don't want to borrow loan for my wedding and then be drinking garri after wedding... Just kneel down and beg him, tell him that from your salary if you are working, that you will be contributing some amount to add to what's he's paying for they loan, that's when he will be happy with you because you both enjoyed the loan together... After my wedding, my in-laws divided all the items they collected from me into two and brought half for me and my wife and shared the remaining within their family... From that day, I took the family as my parent, if I'm giving my parent money, I will also give them same and exact money... 3 Likes |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by InvertedHammer: 2:01pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.
My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.
I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.
Have I said something wrong?
I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.
I am tired, I don't know what to do. / It is not your fault. So don't stress yourself. But you sef you no try. Your father "extorted" the hell out of him. I guess his parents are not alive anymore for him to have gone through this gutting by your greedy father. It is totally his fault for not being man enough to walk away when he saw the wedding list. It is too late now because if he ever wants to marry another lady, he will still be presented with another list Let him carry his cross. / |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by gabicon: 2:01pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.
My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.
It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.
After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.
My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.
When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.
We had little issue then but he later resolved it.
He brought everything they ask him for
During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.
That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.
I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.
His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.
I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.
He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?
I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.
I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.
Have I said something wrong?
I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.
I am tired, I don't know what to do. Lol, you don't like the word extortion, your family asked a man to bring what he does not have, what else will you call that? You knew quiet well that your husband couldn't afford the wedding your family was requesting and you didn't say anything or find alternatives, now he has to repay the loans he had to take to marry you and you expect him to be cheerful. Instead of you to be rubbing his head and assuring him it will all be ok, you are there forming madam cherish. 1 Like |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by AsianTotal: 2:01pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Ehinjuola:
During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.
So Your husband bought a cow, rented and decorated a hall while your dad took care of other things like eating, inviting friends, family and guests to come and eat. Your husband work in an insurance company for Christ sake (very unstable job and income) and N150k salary cannot make anybody do well as you think. Anyway aha, him eye Don clear. He put himself into all this in the first place. You better get a job and begin to help your husband offset his loan. No be everything una go dey run go social media. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by henrimoto(m): 2:02pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
olaztek:
You are a wicked family. Your family forced a man earning 150k monthly in this crazy economy to spend above his budget.
Now he's in debt and creditor's are after him and you still expect him to fucking smile at you knowing you are the reason why he is fuc.ked up. You dey mind the OP and her family.... There is even no iota of remorse in her write up. 1 Like |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by CodeTemplar: 2:03pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.
My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.
It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.
After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.
My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.
When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.
We had little issue then but he later resolved it.
He brought everything they ask him for
During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.
That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.
I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.
His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.
I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.
He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?
I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.
I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.
Have I said something wrong?
I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.
I am tired, I don't know what to do. to slap you dey hungry me. 1 Like |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Biola67: 2:03pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
you and your family get craze for head. The sule too go marry with 150k per month. Dey play 1 Like |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by SeriouslySense(m): 2:04pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
I agree with other comments, this is the time to be supportive in everyway you can be.
Get your priorities right, and you may have to adjust your mentality. Ask yourself what can i bring to the table, how can i be supportive, dont be the give me this give me that mentality 1 Like |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by dotun4luv(m): 2:04pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Lol... I'd have to be sincere with you darling woman, your parents didn't take responsibilities.
Your parents were they one to sponsored your wedding and not the groom. You said you supported him with 50k in an expenses running to millions.
That's ridiculous and bad. We got caught in love story, wedding expenses aren't supposed to be on the groom, it's the right of the brides parents to sponsored there daughters wedding as their last right on her. But, reverse is that.
And here is quota to get your man back...
Don't just talk to him or react to his actions, rather, put his mind at rest telling him you guys can do it together. He got loans cos he loved you and now you are in marriage, the burden is now a family burden and it should be sorted out accordingly. This will make him believe he made the right choice and married a woman of wisdom. But trying to proof a point that it's his right to fulfill all the obligations instigated by your parents will make things even worse.
He's a man. Blood runs through his vein. 4 Likes |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by SeriouslySense(m): 2:05pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
 dotun4luv:
Lol... I'd have to be sincere with you darling woman, your parents didn't take responsibilities.
Your parents were they one to sponsored your wedding and not the groom. You said you supported him with 50k in an expenses running to millions.
That's ridiculous and bad. We got caught in love story, wedding expenses aren't supposed to be on the groom, it's the right of the brides parents to sponsored there daughters wedding as their last right on her. But, reverse is that.
And here is quota to get your man back...
Don't just talk to him or react to his actions, rather, put his mind at rest telling him you guys can do it together. He got loans cos he loved you and now you are in marriage, the burden is now a family burden and it should be sorted out accordingly. This will make him believe he made the right choice and married a woman of wisdom. But trying to proof a point that it's his right to fulfill all the obligations instigated by your parents will make things even worse.
He's a man. Blood runs through his vein. |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by ufotty2001: 2:05pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Phranx1:
Give him space & time also be a dutiful wifey for he will come around, am sure from d explanation this happened in d south, due to economic situations parents should be a bit lenient for our children happiness shouldn't be traded for who's daughter's wedding Is d biggest, in d north even a bucket of akara is enough for a wedding ceremony. They want to kill us here in d South.. me I want to marry ooohhh.. that is why alot of their girls are single |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by kinkydude: 2:06pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
So what's wrong with doing wedding on open field on a sunny day? Ask people around you for a good marriage counsellor. They will help the two of you. Pls don't report him to anyone yet. It's like this @ the start. Marriage is deeper than what we read and hear. |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Aplaudez(m): 2:06pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
All I can say is the guy is dumb af,
Imagine how annoying this lady is sounding here, please singles let's learn from this please, never ever take a loan to please a mere pvssy!
Peace out ! 2 Likes |
| Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Sog2: 2:06pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Seriously he would have called off the marriage from onset but he later has a second thought of continuing with you thinking the car he is about to purchase must be a tear leather zero kilometer ride since your parents are demanding this high. He has no option than to go on loan, but he was disappointed on the first night when he climb the vehicle to discover a different thing. That was the cause of his sudden change. I assure you if he would have met you intact he would have applied for another loan to appreciate your parents. Talking from experience please pick no offense 🙏 Ehinjuola:
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.
My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.
It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.
After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.
My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.
When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.
We had little issue then but he later resolved it.
He brought everything they ask him for
During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.
That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.
I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.
His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.
I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.
He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?
I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.
I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.
Have I said something wrong?
I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.
I am tired, I don't know what to do. |
