astrodome:


25% of income as mortgage payment for donkey years is low? Where did you get that from?

bravolad:
It's usually the case when you are well-off to Carter for the need of others. You do not necessarily have to send money to friends & relatives on a monthly basis except your parents. Even those who reside in Nigeria face similar challenges but a greater expectations await those who live outside the shores of this country.

Have special budget for your immediate family; parents & siblings. But the best approach is to set them up with some initiative that will provide them with monthly income. This requires a relatively huge sum over a period. Let them know you are borrowing to fund that business. Give them a timeline for refund (though you will not take the money from them). This will drastically reduce or eliminate over reliance on you for financial needs.

For distance relations and friends, help when it's absolutely imperative. I have an incline you have flamboyant Facebook page that keeps attracting your old friends. You must not be on fb much less chat every time. You must also learn to avoid those who overtly ask for help on a frequent basis. I can assure you that on the flip of the coin, they will not help. But then, the much you can help that will not put a financial strain on you & your family is a good measure of His grace.

OREMUSSANCTUS:
Carry cocaine to indonesia, if u want to end it once and for all.

astrodome:
Help!! Friends, family, former school mates and others are killing me with financial demands. Everyday I receive facebook (fb) messages, phone calls, email messages and messages from other communication avenues from family members, friends close and distant, school mates I have not seen in 20 years but with whom I reconnected on fb, and even random fb friends (meaning I do not know them personally but somehow we managed to be friends on fb). They all have the same story: please send me money, anything.

Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to college.

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria

Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay, holds a PhD, and involved in R4D activities. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style . Thanks

astrodome:
Help!! Friends, family, former school mates and others are killing me with financial demands. Everyday I receive facebook (fb) messages, phone calls, email messages and messages from other communication avenues from family members, friends close and distant, school mates I have not seen in 20 years but with whom I reconnected on fb, and even random fb friends (meaning I do not know them personally but somehow we managed to be friends on fb). They all have the same story: please send me money, anything.

Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to college.

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria

Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay, holds a PhD, and involved in R4D activities. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style . Thanks

Dollyak:

Homeowners in 24 of the 30 largest metros covered by Zillow were paying more for homes in the fourth quarter of 2012 relative to their region’s median income than they were from 1985 through 1999. Metros with the largest difference between their pre-bubble and fourth quarter 2012 price-to-income ratios included San Jose (52.1 percent more), Los Angeles (48.8 percent more), Portland, OR, (45.4 percent more), San Diego (44.6 percent more) and Denver (40.8 percent more).

http://www.forbes.com/sites/zillow/2013/04/16/high-home-price-to-income-ratios-hiding-behind-low-mortgage-rates/

M4gunners:
Op you are not alone. I'm also in the same situation you are. I have blocked my fb,next online will be whatapp. They have no heart i tell you.

seedgreen:
Following

astrodome:
Help!! Friends, family, former school mates and others are killing me with financial demands. Everyday I receive facebook (fb) messages, phone calls, email messages and messages from other communication avenues from family members, friends close and distant, school mates I have not seen in 20 years but with whom I reconnected on fb, and even random fb friends (meaning I do not know them personally but somehow we managed to be friends on fb). They all have the same story: please send me money, anything.

Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?

How do I explain to them that I have bills (auto, mortgage, water-sewer, electricity, gas, phone, credit card) to pay. And then I have to run my family (of 4) and fuel 2 cars, and on top of that, I have to save also for the rainy day - for when kids get to college.

I am able to resist the random fb friends because I do not have any personal connection with them, but how do I scare the ones I know off without sounding rude and unhelping? I know that when you stop giving, you become an enemy.
Help! Before a fellow nairalander runs amock on the streets of America because of pressure from Nigeria

Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay, holds a PhD, and involved in R4D activities. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style . Thanks

astrodome:


Of course, I say no more often than I say yes. But the ''yes'' is still huge.

okonri:
With your six figure income, you still have credit card debt to pay and an apparently unending mortgage payments. What happened? Btw no pun intended.

Dollyak:
Op, with your ridiculously low mortgage to salary ratio, 3k a month isn't that bad. I am sure you live in texas, Washington (North West) or some sh!!t, because there are not many states/career(Excluding medical fields) that pays decent six figures with such a ridiculously low rental ratio, unless you are a world class specialist.
Anyways, you just need to learn to say no. If you are going to give, you need to make sure it's going towards a self sustaining programme for your family and friends. The amount my dad have given to his ridiculously large nuclear family is definitely into seven figures. Yet, nothing to show for it . Therefore, be strict and give wisely.

astrodome:
Each month I send nearly 3k to Nigeria and they keep asking for more.

Do they think I pluck money from trees in America?
Do they think every Nigerian in America is doing drugs or credit card fraud to make money?
Are they thinking that since Akin or Emeka made it in America (in many cases by selling drugs and doing credit card fraud), I should also make it and therefore be able to satisfy their unending demands?


Just for disclosure: I am well-heeled in the US mid-upper middle class, earning a 6-figure pay, holds a PhD, and involved in R4D activities. But I live in a US city (name withheld) where mortgage payment alone takes 25% of my monthly income. So you can imagine that after paying all bills, I do not have tons of money left over to give out on frequent basis.

Please advise on how to handle this, Naija style . Thanks

astrodome:


Where I live is a nice suburb and not the big metros in your list. The 25% is what my bank and I agreed upon. So not sure what you are driving at

astrodome:


Where I live is a nice suburb and not the big metros in your list. The 25% is what my bank and I agreed upon. So not sure what you are driving at

Goldenboy007:
Op or bros or Mister...my people say ; it is not every cloth one spreads outside. I give this one this, I gave that one that , this one begs from me, that one botrrows from me. You earn 6 figures, you did this, you did that. I smell exaggeration here, people that truly give don't make noise but empty barrel makes the loudest noise. Ahan na only you dey US? Bros cool down and humble yourself so that God will lift you up! Probably you are a graduate assistant pursuing your PhD because I have met many associate professors in US and they are not this lousy. 6 figures lekwa Sabi yourself no be abuse o!

Goldenboy007:


Bros your story get k-leg o, anybody living in US will have a problem believing your story. Talk true, you have added salt and pepper ?

Dollyak:

Fair enough

Fredzy7:

Haba bro Jones you con dey disclose our matter for nairaland, you earn 600 and you only give 3, u are lucky you are not giving 100 or more, but all the same tell them business Is down and they will think the DEA busted your warehouse or tell them you will give them some powder to take to Indonesia, let their brains do the thinking (I must add LOL before I am flagged)

astrodome:


I am not competing with you or anyone. Believe what you want, who cares?

Goldenboy007:


Its not competition bros, but don't let people living in US look silly. These stories are needless ! Give info on need-to-know basis ! You may live in the US but do not paint a larger-than-life scenerio! ...and lastly...please I am not replying that your other moniker.

Goldenboy007:


Bros your story get k-leg o, anybody living in US will have a problem believing your story. Talk true, you have added salt and pepper ?