₦airaland Forum

DaySpringer:
I have seen your post and your problem is complex and most of it is internal... Yet you are trying to find a solution externally.

Seems you weren't shown a lot of love early in life and till now you still seek that person that will come and make you their center of attention and make you feel that love that you think you are lacking..
Even if you get a girlfriend, she has to always show you a lot of attention if not you will doubt her love. This also means that you will be very clingy. You know the irony of all this? The same need for attention and clinginess you will display will make ruin that relationship.

This neediness also shows in your behaviours sub-consciously and girls pick up on it which accounts for the reason for most of your rejection.

Did i forget to add Low Self-Esteem?



Here you're not even talking like a man who knows his worth as a man, so the rejection you receive from girls means that you won't get married? That means you will fall for the first girl that seems to really want to marry you because she is the first girl that didn't reject you or rather one of the very rare ones who didn't.

OP
There are many principles and coded knowledge that apply and are true in this our world of dating and in the world of relationships at large.


Like i mentioned early you found a girl that seemed like she was the one for you and instantly you fell for her.. and then asked her out, you weren't sure she was fully attracted to you, you let your neediness shine through and you wanted to possess her instead of being patient and waiting till she was totally hooked to you.


Again your neediness and need for attention shininig through, almost every guy has gone through this with a girl before and the mark of maturity is when the guy is able to take things coolly, acknowledging that almost every girl does this; infact the mark of a well collected player is being able to spin it and make the girl feel like she missed out on something exciting, list all the things she missed and make her want to make it up to you next time she sees you. Other guys would use this opportunity to make the girl more into them but you're here whining like a baby.
Look at your victim mentality, "Being treated by ladies"


The girl called you and apologised to you and you're still here, whining, Some girls don't even bother. She deemed you important enough to apologize to you and yet your low self esteem didn't let you see that. You still had the victim and crybaby mentality. No girl's actions is supposed to determine, your worth, the fact that the girl did not do the necessary things in order to make sure she could see you, means she is uncoordinated, the problem is with her not you.



And Right here is the greatest expression of Low self esteem. Bro, those things might attract a girl but those things won't keep a girl, Infact those things are not the most important things to have when it comes to getting girls, I am sure you have heard of Ugly guys getting and banging the hottest babes, that's your proof there.

There are guys with what you have that don't need to talk much to get a girl.




Do you know that all relationships have their own problems?

Do you know that not all relationships that look happy on the outside actually are?

Do you know that almost all relationships eventually end?

If you cannot be happy with yourself when you're single, how can you be happy with a girl in a relationship? you will burden her with all your emotional needs (leading to you becoming insecure and clingy) and no human is meant to carry the emotional burdens of another, eventually they will break or leave and guess what? You'll be right back where you started.


So Bro what is the solution for you?
1. You need to learn to Love yourself.

2. Do research on Low Self-esteem and all it's manifestations and work on getting rid of it.
Self-Esteem does not come from what is on the outside or what you have but what is on the inside and that's why it is called "SELF-esteem"

3. Find things to do that make you happy, have hobbies. Learn to be able to enjoy yourself by yourself or with your guys and that will naturally draw girls to you.

4. Learn something, boosting your skills boosts your confidence and if you already have an amazing range of skills write them down and be proud of them and work to improve them.

Now get yourself out of that Self Pity shit, Girls are too flaky and unreliable for you to base your happiness on having them!

Cheers mate.

Kenshinmunac:
So should I date a lady I'm not sexually attracted to? I would be ashamed to walk with her

justscorchone:
Count yourself lucky,unlike me that have a mother battling cancer that I have to spend my time at the hospital this Christmas, new year,valentine and God knows when.all this I'm single but the health of my mother is my priority.you even kon get money join,guy you need to grow up finally.

Kenshinmunac:
*sigh* searching and searching for a girlfriend, all to no avail. Young cool fine guy, but very lonely, no girlfriend. I don't think at this point with all this rejection that I will ever get married in life.

I have searching for a gf, met some girls who turned out to be nasty gold diggers, I didn't wanna waste my time on them cause I'm not a flirt, I'm not looking for a short term relationship so having "fun" with all these girls seemed like a waste of time to me as Sex is not my problem, love is.

So I met this girl few days back, we got talking, I fell for her instantly, she looked calm and very honest, she is not all these girls who do kk in chat, she is caring and very simple, hard to come by., we flowed really well chatting and I was very happy I found someone as I quickly asked her out and she said "let's see how it goes"

I said okay, so today being Sunday, normal chilling day, I called her, very eager to see her beautiful face once more, we got talking and she said I should come to her side.

So I said okay by six,

Six reach I entered road straight to her side, 30 mins drive, when I got close I dialled her number twice she didn't pick I thought maybe she was taking her bath or something was patient and kept on going, so when I got there by 7pm, I called and called but she didn't pick up the call and she was expecting me o!

Na so I begin call her, Even send whatsapp message and direct message all to no avail. I got so maddddd and pissed off, I almost cried because I don't know why I'm being treated like this by ladies. Head to toe I complete, face I fine, fashion sense Is great, but yet, my handsomeness and the growing cash I get can't even get me the slightest fly talk less about a lady

*sigh*

By 5 mins past 8 she called me, by then I was already going home, and she began to plead, this where error words.

"please I'm sorry, my elder brother took my phone to share WiFi, I didn't know he would go far"

I asked "didn't you tell him you were expecting someone"?"

She replied" i did na but he did not listen, I can't just come and stand on the road and be waiting for you, please don't be angry"

In my heart I said Chai! What kind of excuse is this?? This girl just told me indirectly that I'm not important.

So painful.

I see guys with their girl very happy preparing for Christmas, me i have none. All I do is admire beautiful couples and wish It could be......

Unfortunately the sad reality greets me in my face.

I begin to lose my self confidence gradually because of rejection.

Smh, all I feel right now is self pity, all I can do is lament.

I don't know if I just dislike women right now self.

chccho:
Op I have a feeling u are not as handsome/good-looking as u claim.In your mind u might think u r very handsome but the truth is u might just be there so for the benefit of doubt let us see how good looking u claim u are.

Secondly,u sound very desperate,and insecure and this might send a wrong signal to most ladies u come across there by causing them to resist u.Op u need to be calm and relaxed.Take the woman hunt easy and do go about carrying a sad look about or looking for self pity around cos that's what u sound like,nobody cares about your self pity.

Op man up and, if u don't mind I can even hook u up with some nice babes looking for husband.

KevinDein:
bro I genuinely wish your mother quick recovery. It's well bro.

KingTom:
na small pikin na

Kenshinmunac:
Na so

JeffreyJamez:
Wey wan dey form old man

chccho:
I am serious O,this one that u are still looking for self pity if u want want u better talk now

Alsini6:
ur own beta mine stole my phone

Solidkay:
If u feel u have had enough of relationship palava,start rearing dogs.
it will help u a great deal.

safarigirl:
don't worry bros, you're not alone.

Me sef can't get a boyfriend as old as I am, maybe you should lower your standard cuz girls full ground wey dey find man, but nobody send us because una dey find Toolz and Toke Makinwa kain girls and we're just a bunch of boring Chimamandas and Lupitas.

Good luck on your search. I figure you're still young, with time you'll get what you're looking for. Patience young grasshopper

JeffreyJamez:
Wey wan dey form old man

Legend87:
If u like acquire world bank. It won't guarantee u true love. If u like, become Mr. Fashion of the universe, it won't fetch you a decent lady. If u like, become the world's sexiest man. No woman would trip for that. A true and virtous woman wants only a simple, humble and caring man.. Not all women are after material things.

jeyselassie:
your problem is a problem. first u need to learn to have a human heart. she apologised to u naaa. dont carry women so serious like maths wassce because no man can understand them completely. just do ur best and give her ur rules as well as hear her own rules. then u guys are good to go.

DrayZee:
in that case there must be a very small number of "True and virtuos" women

Kenshinmunac:
*sigh* searching and searching for a girlfriend, all to no avail. Young cool fine guy, but very lonely, no girlfriend. I don't think at this point with all this rejection that I will ever get married in life.

I have searching for a gf, met some girls who turned out to be nasty gold diggers, I didn't wanna waste my time on them cause I'm not a flirt, I'm not looking for a short term relationship so having "fun" with all these girls seemed like a waste of time to me as Sex is not my problem, love is.

So I met this girl few days back, we got talking, I fell for her instantly, she looked calm and very honest, she is not all these girls who do kk in chat, she is caring and very simple, hard to come by., we flowed really well chatting and I was very happy I found someone as I quickly asked her out and she said "let's see how it goes"

I said okay, so today being Sunday, normal chilling day, I called her, very eager to see her beautiful face once more, we got talking and she said I should come to her side.

So I said okay by six,

Six reach I entered road straight to her side, 30 mins drive, when I got close I dialled her number twice she didn't pick I thought maybe she was taking her bath or something was patient and kept on going, so when I got there by 7pm, I called and called but she didn't pick up the call and she was expecting me o!

Na so I begin call her, Even send whatsapp message and direct message all to no avail. I got so maddddd and pissed off, I almost cried because I don't know why I'm being treated like this by ladies. Head to toe I complete, face I fine, fashion sense Is great, but yet, my handsomeness and the growing cash I get can't even get me the slightest fly talk less about a lady

*sigh*

By 5 mins past 8 she called me, by then I was already going home, and she began to plead, this where error words.

"please I'm sorry, my elder brother took my phone to share WiFi, I didn't know he would go far"

I asked "didn't you tell him you were expecting someone"?"

She replied" i did na but he did not listen, I can't just come and stand on the road and be waiting for you, please don't be angry"

In my heart I said Chai! What kind of excuse is this?? This girl just told me indirectly that I'm not important.

So painful.

I see guys with their girl very happy preparing for Christmas, me i have none. All I do is admire beautiful couples and wish It could be......

Unfortunately the sad reality greets me in my face.

I begin to lose my self confidence gradually because of rejection.

Smh, all I feel right now is self pity, all I can do is lament.

I don't know if I just dislike women right now self.

kingcity:
you are funny...am in the same shoe as the op, but I figure out am still very young and need to face my studies.

btw I admire you from afar, your comment on sport section made me follow you

Kenshinmunac:
*sigh* searching and searching for a girlfriend, all to no avail. Young cool fine guy, but very lonely, no girlfriend. I don't think at this point with all this rejection that I will ever get married in life.

I have searching for a gf, met some girls who turned out to be nasty gold diggers, I didn't wanna waste my time on them cause I'm not a flirt, I'm not looking for a short term relationship so having "fun" with all these girls seemed like a waste of time to me as Sex is not my problem, love is.

So I met this girl few days back, we got talking, I fell for her instantly, she looked calm and very honest, she is not all these girls who do kk in chat, she is caring and very simple, hard to come by., we flowed really well chatting and I was very happy I found someone as I quickly asked her out and she said "let's see how it goes"

I said okay, so today being Sunday, normal chilling day, I called her, very eager to see her beautiful face once more, we got talking and she said I should come to her side.

So I said okay by six,

Six reach I entered road straight to her side, 30 mins drive, when I got close I dialled her number twice she didn't pick I thought maybe she was taking her bath or something was patient and kept on going, so when I got there by 7pm, I called and called but she didn't pick up the call and she was expecting me o!

Na so I begin call her, Even send whatsapp message and direct message all to no avail. I got so maddddd and pissed off, I almost cried because I don't know why I'm being treated like this by ladies. Head to toe I complete, face I fine, fashion sense Is great, but yet, my handsomeness and the growing cash I get can't even get me the slightest fly talk less about a lady

*sigh*

By 5 mins past 8 she called me, by then I was already going home, and she began to plead, this where error words.

"please I'm sorry, my elder brother took my phone to share WiFi, I didn't know he would go far"

I asked "didn't you tell him you were expecting someone"?"

She replied" i did na but he did not listen, I can't just come and stand on the road and be waiting for you, please don't be angry"

In my heart I said Chai! What kind of excuse is this?? This girl just told me indirectly that I'm not important.

So painful.

I see guys with their girl very happy preparing for Christmas, me i have none. All I do is admire beautiful couples and wish It could be......

Unfortunately the sad reality greets me in my face.

I begin to lose my self confidence gradually because of rejection.

Smh, all I feel right now is self pity, all I can do is lament.

I don't know if I just dislike women right now self.

UmecheMoses:
please call my number lemme pray for the woman asap..... Please

aviationguy:
The girl may have interior motives or is possible her boyfriend seized the phone may be is suspecting her somehow....