₦airaland Forum

DaySpringer:
I have seen your post and your problem is complex and most of it is internal... Yet you are trying to find a solution externally.

Seems you weren't shown a lot of love early in life and till now you still seek that person that will come and make you their center of attention and make you feel that love that you think you are lacking..
Even if you get a girlfriend, she has to always show you a lot of attention if not you will doubt her love. This also means that you will be very clingy. You know the irony of all this? The same need for attention and clinginess you will display will make ruin that relationship.

This neediness also shows in your behaviours sub-consciously and girls pick up on it which accounts for the reason for most of your rejection.

Did i forget to add Low Self-Esteem?



Here you're not even talking like a man who knows his worth as a man, so the rejection you receive from girls means that you won't get married? That means you will fall for the first girl that seems to really want to marry you because she is the first girl that didn't reject you or rather one of the very rare ones who didn't.

OP
There are many principles and coded knowledge that apply and are true in this our world of dating and in the world of relationships at large.


Like i mentioned early you found a girl that seemed like she was the one for you and instantly you fell for her.. and then asked her out, you weren't sure she was fully attracted to you, you let your neediness shine through and you wanted to possess her instead of being patient and waiting till she was totally hooked to you.


Again your neediness and need for attention shininig through, almost every guy has gone through this with a girl before and the mark of maturity is when the guy is able to take things coolly, acknowledging that almost every girl does this; infact the mark of a well collected player is being able to spin it and make the girl feel like she missed out on something exciting, list all the things she missed and make her want to make it up to you next time she sees you. Other guys would use this opportunity to make the girl more into them but you're here whining like a baby.
Look at your victim mentality, "Being treated by ladies"


The girl called you and apologised to you and you're still here, whining, Some girls don't even bother. She deemed you important enough to apologize to you and yet your low self esteem didn't let you see that. You still had the victim and crybaby mentality. No girl's actions is supposed to determine, your worth, the fact that the girl did not do the necessary things in order to make sure she could see you, means she is uncoordinated, the problem is with her not you.



And Right here is the greatest expression of Low self esteem. Bro, those things might attract a girl but those things won't keep a girl, Infact those things are not the most important things to have when it comes to getting girls, I am sure you have heard of Ugly guys getting and banging the hottest babes, that's your proof there.

There are guys with what you have that don't need to talk much to get a girl.




Do you know that all relationships have their own problems?

Do you know that not all relationships that look happy on the outside actually are?

Do you know that almost all relationships eventually end?

If you cannot be happy with yourself when you're single, how can you be happy with a girl in a relationship? you will burden her with all your emotional needs (leading to you becoming insecure and clingy) and no human is meant to carry the emotional burdens of another, eventually they will break or leave and guess what? You'll be right back where you started.


So Bro what is the solution for you?
1. You need to learn to Love yourself.

2. Do research on Low Self-esteem and all it's manifestations and work on getting rid of it.
Self-Esteem does not come from what is on the outside or what you have but what is on the inside and that's why it is called "SELF-esteem"

3. Find things to do that make you happy, have hobbies. Learn to be able to enjoy yourself by yourself or with your guys and that will naturally draw girls to you.

4. Learn something, boosting your skills boosts your confidence and if you already have an amazing range of skills write them down and be proud of them and work to improve them.

Now get yourself out of that Self Pity shit, Girls are too flaky and unreliable for you to base your happiness on having them!

Cheers mate.

See analysis. Bros you get time o

pcguru1:
it's no biggie when girls want guys with financial status and a handsome face and the world hasn't ended because of that, besides OP is entitled to his preference just like everyone

[color=magenta]sure he is. And his preference dont want him
He can continue 2 be shallow and continue 2 miss it . [/color]

sorry brother... if na me invite u come church nw.. na differnt case

Kpuna na bastard

Op
She is lying . She was occupied by another man then and had her phone in silence . She probably thought that the first visitor would leave quick enough .
If you want a good girl , pray to God about it and stop chasing girls on tthe street and clubs . They are no good

chiefoluigwe:
See analysis. Bros you get time o

I have to try to help my fellow man get sense of Direction

Stop asking random girls out..... it's better to look for girls in a church or an organisation u work, that way u will be able to study her before asking her out.....
Ps. This girl has not done anything bad
Ps. Stop showing too much care

OP I pity your situation and I am not convinced you are 8 on the looks scale and also that you are financially independent or that you have LMS (looks money and status).
Actually the problem is also not self hate or low self esteem or you never was loved as a kid, you sir unfortunately are facing the problem 95% of men around the world have which is lack of game, social skills and how to close the deal.
From your post you were applying logic whilst she flaked on your meeting when infact she is playing an emotional game with you. Logic and emotion don't fit in the same context.
You can't be good looking in Nigeria, have a top end apartment tastefully furnished with a status job or business and tell me you can't f$$k Nigerian girls that are between 7-10 in the looks department. Even without learning game, you should be having 2-4lays in a month if truly you are 8.
Now let's just pretend you are 8 with tight LMS, then I think you need to stop chasing for now and take 1 month break to read some books on seduction to understand what works and what doesn't. With LMS, Nigerian girls should be the one even spending on you since they will see you as a catch and a trophy boy friend to brandish around.
Don't chase girls, create attraction with your style and trust me you will see many girls giving you strong IOI's.

Zceesneh:
he made some points buh immediately he ran out of points, asin i will find work for her slibings?

You misunderstood my point. It was an example, not an obligation. Girls don't need you to physically do these things, they need to be sure it can be possible if they needed it, that's what makes you attractive. It gives them a sense of security and protection. Guys that meet this are at the top of the chain and can steal anyone's girl and they can't control why they would feel such attraction to him.

It's philosophical, I thought the op was mature enough to understand the coded information I gave him cos this is a public forum, but I have given up on him. Now in plain terms, when you have quality life, you wouldn't go applying for jobs for her siblings yourself, the quality of your social circle would naturally make things a lot easier (people who owe you favours would do all the ground work to facilitate things). This is the idea: If you have a high status such that is enough to find a job for her sibling, it demonstrates your ability to provide for her and your future family. Have you wondered why women marry a high status man or king as a 7th wife especially if the other 6 look happy? It's not just how much he has but the fact he has demonstrated he can cater for 6 women and their kids comfortably, and the 7th doesn't mind joining the bandwagon. That's why a stingy man with a lot of money isn't attractive to female folk.

The principle of Natural selection, women desire men who can cater for them & their offsprings. Now while no one expects you to wrestle a lion to prove you are worthy of becoming a father in 2016, they want a man who is capable of solving life's puzzles and conquering threats in whatever form they come, they all want a promising and exciting life with no serious barriers, that's why they need a man, you are supposed to be barrier-breaker (it's how they are wired to think) .

Beey:
My dear, what you need to do right now is completely get your mind off marriage and serious girl bla bla bla.Because the moment you attach yourself do strongly to that idea, you don't realize it but you begin to look and sound desperate.When you are desperate, you'll take any rubbish that's thrown your way.These people smell desperation very quickly and they'll be treating you like you are just a thing, not even a person.Some are opportunists who will be after you for money and other things.You'll just be in a parasitic relationship because they'll be there to milk you dry.So put on your big boy pants, get yourself busy.Hit that gym and look good, take an extra class and build your academics, work overtime and make some extra cash.Whatever it takes for you not to wallow in self-pity, do just that.You'll realize that you were probably dating someone whose goals are very different from yours.You are seeing marriage, they are in it for fun.You cannot force love.Improve yourself and trust me at a time when you don't even expect it, true love will come your way!

Damn u really hit the nail on the rock,nice advice.

Try and Get One OLOSHO

Kenshinmunac:
No prob, cool..

Eeya
Sorry about that...

We girls and our wahala

Kenshinmunac:
*sigh* searching and searching for a girlfriend, all to no avail. Young cool fine guy, but very lonely, no girlfriend. I don't think at this point with all this rejection that I will ever get married in life.

I have searching for a gf, met some girls who turned out to be nasty gold diggers, I didn't wanna waste my time on them cause I'm not a flirt, I'm not looking for a short term relationship so having "fun" with all these girls seemed like a waste of time to me as Sex is not my problem, love is.

So I met this girl few days back, we got talking, I fell for her instantly, she looked calm and very honest, she is not all these girls who do kk in chat, she is caring and very simple, hard to come by., we flowed really well chatting and I was very happy I found someone as I quickly asked her out and she said "let's see how it goes"

I said okay, so today being Sunday, normal chilling day, I called her, very eager to see her beautiful face once more, we got talking and she said I should come to her side.

So I said okay by six,

Six reach I entered road straight to her side, 30 mins drive, when I got close I dialled her number twice she didn't pick I thought maybe she was taking her bath or something was patient and kept on going, so when I got there by 7pm, I called and called but she didn't pick up the call and she was expecting me o!

Na so I begin call her, Even send whatsapp message and direct message all to no avail. I got so maddddd and pissed off, I almost cried because I don't know why I'm being treated like this by ladies. Head to toe I complete, face I fine, fashion sense Is great, but yet, my handsomeness and the growing cash I get can't even get me the slightest fly talk less about a lady

*sigh*

By 5 mins past 8 she called me, by then I was already going home, and she began to plead, this where error words.

"please I'm sorry, my elder brother took my phone to share WiFi, I didn't know he would go far"

I asked "didn't you tell him you were expecting someone"?"

She replied" i did na but he did not listen, I can't just come and stand on the road and be waiting for you, please don't be angry"

In my heart I said Chai! What kind of excuse is this?? This girl just told me indirectly that I'm not important.

So painful.

I see guys with their girl very happy preparing for Christmas, me i have none. All I do is admire beautiful couples and wish It could be......

Unfortunately the sad reality greets me in my face.

I begin to lose my self confidence gradually because of rejection.

Smh, all I feel right now is self pity, all I can do is lament.

I don't know if I just dislike women right now self.

My brother I see nothing in everything that happened. She explained herself n their might be other unfavourable reason cos d day u visited her might not be convenient for her or some funny things that will not favour u came up. I sense u seriously need someone. If u do u need to calm down n down expect everything to be perfect from day one. If u r not careful u will be jumping from one babe to the other. What happened to u through that babe cud also happen to u through u. All u need is understanding. Don't make dis small thing dat happened make u feel that she is bad. Let me tell u my own story my babe visited me where I work with her male childhood friend saying she was missing me while I was seated she started showing her friend my work environment. I later stop up to check activities in other department when I saw my babe kissing dis guy roughly. immediately d guy jump d stair case. I acted as if I didn't see them when my babe called me n ask me if I saw anything she chop slap sha o but I later apologize n promise not to slap her or touch till I die which I followed for years. She was a virgin but u will always catch her sometimes doing rubbish with another guy. We lasted for 3years. I left her with her virginity she begged n told me to disvirgin her so that she can stop all d trush n I told her to go to hell with that. Y? She was dating someone they both work in dsame place that happen to be my classmate n we r also friends. So my broda between your case n mine which 1 wors? So learn to forgive

sade1994:
Eeya
Sorry about that...

We girls and our wahala

I just tire... If you are good it's a bad thing for them..

Gariki:
Whatsapp me and I will teach I what to do and girls will be chase you not u chasing them even if u don't have money or u are ugly
Its inborn in every male but only the alfa male can discover it
100/% garantee

Drop me the tip.

Kenshinmunac:
*sigh* searching and searching for a girlfriend, all to no avail. Young cool fine guy, but very lonely, no girlfriend. I don't think at this point with all this rejection that I will ever get married in life.

I have searching for a gf, met some girls who turned out to be nasty gold diggers, I didn't wanna waste my time on them cause I'm not a flirt, I'm not looking for a short term relationship so having "fun" with all these girls seemed like a waste of time to me as Sex is not my problem, love is.

So I met this girl few days back, we got talking, I fell for her instantly, she looked calm and very honest, she is not all these girls who do kk in chat, she is caring and very simple, hard to come by., we flowed really well chatting and I was very happy I found someone as I quickly asked her out and she said "let's see how it goes"

I said okay, so today being Sunday, normal chilling day, I called her, very eager to see her beautiful face once more, we got talking and she said I should come to her side.

So I said okay by six,

Six reach I entered road straight to her side, 30 mins drive, when I got close I dialled her number twice she didn't pick I thought maybe she was taking her bath or something was patient and kept on going, so when I got there by 7pm, I called and called but she didn't pick up the call and she was expecting me o!

Na so I begin call her, Even send whatsapp message and direct message all to no avail. I got so maddddd and pissed off, I almost cried because I don't know why I'm being treated like this by ladies. Head to toe I complete, face I fine, fashion sense Is great, but yet, my handsomeness and the growing cash I get can't even get me the slightest fly talk less about a lady

*sigh*

By 5 mins past 8 she called me, by then I was already going home, and she began to plead, this where error words.

"please I'm sorry, my elder brother took my phone to share WiFi, I didn't know he would go far"

I asked "didn't you tell him you were expecting someone"?"

She replied" i did na but he did not listen, I can't just come and stand on the road and be waiting for you, please don't be angry"

In my heart I said Chai! What kind of excuse is this?? This girl just told me indirectly that I'm not important.

So painful.

I see guys with their girl very happy preparing for Christmas, me i have none. All I do is admire beautiful couples and wish It could be......

Unfortunately the sad reality greets me in my face.

I begin to lose my self confidence gradually because of rejection.

Smh, all I feel right now is self pity, all I can do is lament.

I don't know if I just dislike women right now self.

hope has a place int the lovas hrt u need 2 learn 2 trust no mata hw hurt uve been

They are too flaky, inconsistent and not so straight forward...

Don't take them serious else you will end up depressed.

safarigirl:
Ulterior

safarigirl:
thanks a lot dear, I appreciate you.

Honestly, just focus on self-improvement, you mustn't do trial and error in the name of relationships, sometimes you just need to be in one .

Everyone will find someone eventually. just don't rush it

Oya come and be my girlfriend...

daniska3yaro:
Damn u really hit the nail on the rock,nice advice.

Thank you!

Laveda:


Respek! You made lotta sense.

Thanks

fijiano202:
What I don't understand is that there are lots of single girls out there waiting for a good guy but when the good guy comes they will still dey form for him and lose him and later blame the unfortunate old woman in their village

Dem dey look for guy wey get range rover sports. Their friend met one so it can't be hard. If I grew for this one and range rover show after, what do I do?

ILuvGummyBearz:
[color=magenta]sure he is. And his preference dont want him
He can continue 2 be shallow and continue 2 miss it . [/color]

Without shallowness i doubt the society would thrive. today's preference for dating today is weird maybe am old sha

Amend or be prepared to live like how Japanese men are now living.. No women=200years extra lifespan

pcguru1:
Without shallowness i doubt the society would thrive. today's preference for dating today is weird maybe am old sha

[color=dodgerblue]mmm that yer excuse? No survival.
We arent talking society but 1 man....op .and maybe u 2[/color]

Alsini6:
ur own beta mine stole my phone

looooooooool

safarigirl:
thanks a lot dear, I appreciate you.

Honestly, just focus on self-improvement, you mustn't do trial and error in the name of relationships, sometimes you just need to be in one .

Everyone will find someone eventually. just don't rush it

thanks, but I dont really care about girls or dating, am focused on improving my life now

kaboninc:
Oya come and be my girlfriend...

did you know that putting up your contacts on social media is a security risk?

ILuvGummyBearz:
[color=dodgerblue]mmm that yer excuse? No survival.
We arent talking society but 1 man....op .and maybe u 2[/color]

if a guy wants a slim babe and not a fat one who are we to judge him ? after all i won't expect you to have a broke-ass as a preference or would you ?

pcguru1:
if a guy wants a slim babe and not a fat one who are we to judge him ? after all i won't expect you to have a broke-ass as a preference or would you ?

[color=magenta]he can seek whatever he wants but has no right 2 complain when he cant find a 'good girl' .he should not be so shallow.Bye new [/color]

Conditions like this,i tend to bury my sorrows in fifa 17.Just be yourself and don't expect to much from girls,they are not God neither can they take you to heaven.When the time is right everything would work out well

majorbravo:
You misunderstood my point. It was an example, not an obligation. Girls don't need you to physically do these things, they need to be sure it can be possible if they needed it, that's what makes you attractive. It gives them a sense of security and protection. Guys that meet this are at the top of the chain and can steal anyone's girl and they can't control why they would feel such attraction to him.

It's philosophical, I thought the op was mature enough to understand the coded information I gave him cos this is a public forum, but I have given up on him. Now in plain terms, when you have quality life, you wouldn't go applying for jobs for her siblings yourself, the quality of your social circle would naturally make things a lot easier (people who owe you favours would do all the ground work to facilitate things). This is the idea: If you have a high status such that is enough to find a job for her sibling, it demonstrates your ability to provide for her and your future family. Have you wondered why women marry a high status man or king as a 7th wife especially if the other 6 look happy? It's not just how much he has but the fact he has demonstrated he can cater for 6 women and their kids comfortably, and the 7th doesn't mind joining the bandwagon. That's why a stingy man with a lot of money isn't attractive to female folk.

The principle of Natural selection, women desire men who can cater for them & their offsprings. Now while no one expects you to wrestle a lion to prove you are worthy of becoming a father in 2016, they want a man who is capable of solving life's puzzles and conquering threats in whatever form they come, they all want a promising and exciting life with no serious barriers, that's why they need a man, you are supposed to be barrier-breaker (it's how they are wired to think) .

lol, you are on point, there are a lot of amateurish peeps around here am afraid.

Mr Op is really a funny character.