₦airaland Forum

helpforever:
I can remember early 2015 or late 2014 when I went to a popular brothel in Bariga to try out my luck again. About 4 prostitutes came to meet me so I will pick them, they were all flaunting their body around me. Then immediately noticed the way I looked helpless and confused and started feeling my joystick. Speaking edo language to themselves. I'm not sure, but I think they noticed something was not right or so and they all left to look for another customer

shinebabe:
Ohh, I'm proud its a Nigerian product! If its well known around the world and we don't run it down ourselves, maybe it will be the gift this country will give to the world. At least we'll be known for something positive.

Our agbo had been working for generations. But ppl said it doesn' t have dosage and its not fda approved. Now Ruzu is and its being exported to several countries as we speak.

helpforever:
How can I get in contact with this person??

helpforever:
How can I get in contact with this person??

uboma:
be careful about seeking help from unverified sources.

some will contact you privately with the sole intent to scam you.

Just be careful....

OmaniPadmeHum:
Hahahaha

YOU ONLY HAVE WHAT IS CALLED

"PERFORMANCE ANXIETY"

You panic and have conditioned your mind with that first incident. Your mind now sees sex as something that you would fail at and that would be embarrassing.

IT IS NOT SPIRITUAL. Naaaaah. only in Nigeria do we make everything spiritual. Left alone we might still have thought small pox/chicken pox is caused by "Sopana" and that Thunder and Lightning by Sango. Look with all these spiritual bla bla we were taken as slaves for hundreds of years. Our Chief preists and juju could not protect our fore fathers. Some of the masks were even stolen and exhibited in Europe. The nonsense juju has not been able to burn down London. No mysterious plague has befallen them. We were colonized for years too in Africa. No spirit could help us or our fore fathers.

It is purely psychological. You have been psychologically scarred due to the experience at the brothel. You feel you are going to fail again and again. Now anything that has to do with sex practically scares you and your body has learnt a rather "silly" way to react to sex. Infact, subconsciously, your mind sees sex as a fight or flight thing. It is sexual anxiety and perhaps panic attacks. It is very normal and not spiritual. Nope.

Unfortunately, your WAFTS (worries, anxieties, fears, thoughts and sensations) are things you have tried to fight off over and over again. Compounding the issue. Your mind now sees sex as a battle and gets your body to fight/flee. instead of allowing you get on.

LISTEN, WE ALL GET ANXIOUS DURING SEX. ALL OF US. MEN AND WOMEN ALIKE. ALL. But our anxieties, anxiety levels and how we have trained our body to manage them, makes a difference. Take masturbation for instance. Some people do it and suffer premature ejaculation as a result of it. This is because when this habit was learnt (most times at teenage years) , they had to do it quickly and get done so they won't be caught. This usually starts at a young age and then is often made a habit which the body adopts. Their body gets addicted to quick ejaculation. Meanwhile some guys had time and were so comfortable with it. There learnt it without being in a hurry and ejaculation was not the thing but enjoying the time spent. They now suffer from prolonged erection and can only ejaculate when they masturbate. They are only senitve to matrubation and not the feel of a them in a woman.

For you, you probably immediately started avoiding the things that embarrassed you and found another quick fix. Masturbation, Porn etc. All these still communicated to your brain that you need to "RUN AWAY FROM SEX!!! IT WILL EMBARRASSING AND YOU WILL FAIL"!!! It is like having insomnia and instead of allowing sleep to come naturally, you decide to take pills or use other stuff like sleeping tea, alcohol etc. They will work for a while, but soon their effects will be useless to the point of not working at all.

It is a flight or flight thing. Your body sees sex as something you would fail at. Let me ask, Can you get an erection when in danger? When fighting with someone or fleeing from danger? Nope. (unless you have trained your body/psyche to remain calm). During fight or flight response, your body removes blood from places like the stomach, sex organs etc and send to the brain and muscles preparinging them for danger. How can you get an erection when due to that first traumatic experience, you feel that you might fail again and you worry about how embarrassing it would be.

That one experience made you worry little by little and you took actions (unknowingly) that made matters worse psychologically. You sound like a worrier by nature. Lol. Unfortunately our brain is very silly and does not know the difference between real and perceived danger. If we worry too much about something, our brain tries to protect us by throwing all manner of things (thoughts etc) that can go wrong for us to act on them. When we worry and worry our brain even sends sensations like fast heart beats, sweaty palms, feeling dizzy, butterflies in the stomach etc. But keeping calm, noticing these WAFTS, and mindfully letting them go/be while calmly doing what you are doing whenever this happens helps to reassure your brain that all is cool and calm.

YOU WILL HAVE TO UNLEARN YOUR CURRENT WAY YOUR BODY RESPONDS AND RELEARN THE RIGHT WAY TO RESPOND. YOU WILL HAVE TO TEACH YOUR BODY TO RESPOND MINDFULLY TO THE FEARS, WORRIES AND ANXIETIES.

What book on Acceptance and Commitment/Mindfulness can I suggest to you....

Let me see....

Will look for something.

iiiyyyk:
.



U ar not impotent, ur problem is not spiritual, neither is it caused by masturbation.

though u must have to do away completely with masturbation and porns so u can accumulate enough inner sexual drive and hunger which regular masturbation has not let ur body do....

UR PROBLEM IS PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPOTENCY OR SEXUAL ANXIETY.

HERE IS HOW TO SOLVE IT.

GET a woman u ar very hot and sexually attracted to.
Make her ur close friend, but remove sex from ur mind first.
U people should become very close and deeply emotionally attached to each other.
Then go romantic, romance her several times without sex...
Within this period, explain to her that u ar having sexual anxiety, and that she is the only one that can help u over come it.
With both of u having this understanding, the sex anxiety in u would have reduced by 70%.
U people shld continue playing together in sexually arousing mode, spend so much time together be at eas and familiar with her...
Now u people should try having sex several times, any time u fail,don't worry...she already know...
Once u succed once with her help, u ll continue to have regular sex especially with her...because u wont have anxiety with her again.

Pls never masturbate with the said girl in mind...

I have some trainings that can help u in mental reconditioning but...

But start the above first.

helpforever:
I am depressed. But suicide is not an option for me. God forbid.

helpforever:
Bro, this is a serious issue.

inthack:
My brother, I have promised to stop helping but I feel for your write up.... I know what you can use, it's herbs.... I am very serious and I know it will work, if you re in Lagos.... Contact me on 08160016242. With 2/3k your problem is solved..... You will take the herbs for 3days in the woman's house, after one week.... I can assure you, you will Bleep hell outta anyone that comes your way...

helpforever:
I saw a post about a woman complaining that her sister married an impotent man. I smiled, the man probably knew he had an issue and still went ahead and married. I also have this issue and its really bothering me for over 5 years. Mine is complicated and I think its spiritual.

It all started in 2011 when I was 20 and was ready to have sex. I went to a popular brothel in Lagos with a friend to try it out.
Though I was very nervous because I was a virgin and my heart was beating very fast.

We actually went in and two women approached us. A young woman of about 28 and one of about 40.

I am my other virgin friend had eye on the one of about 28 cause she was very beautiful. My friend immediately held on to her. The other one of 40 now held on to me that I should carry her lets go do it. I angrily said "You be my mama mate na", she got angry and left.

Then the younger one said, if I and my friend wants, we can take turns with her.

We left for her room. I entered first and was very nervous and sluggish even in removing my cloth.

She said, "e be like say u be virgin...so na me go disvrigin" you. She started touching my di*k, but it didn't get hard.

Time started to waste and I got tired and asked her to refund my money. She started shouting that its not possible, that the fact that my dick did not rise is none of her business. I asked that my friend should use the money and attempt, she said no. that he must bring his own money.

We left the building and started the arguments outside. Other prostitutes came to her aid and started asking what was wrong. She explained to them that I tried to have sex with her and my thing did not rise and now I want my money back, they started shouting and said its not possible that we should better get out of her.

At one corner, the older woman of about 40 that I earlier rejected started giving me the "ntoor" look and was saying "You see your life"

I got very scared and left for home immediately.

I tried to watch porn to see if it will get up, I can't really remember if it did.

Long and short, I have not been able to have sex since then. I have not even had sex in my life. I have never tried to have sex with a real girl before, so I won't embarrass myself. I have never had a girlfriend. Though girls keep flocking around me, since I am doing well both academically and business wise, but I never attempt to have sex with them and they keep wondering whats wrong with me. One of the unilag girls that seduced me and I did nothing concluded that I was impotent because she feels no man in the world would have resisted her seduction since she was very hot.

I have tried to have sex 3 more times, with prostitutes, but still same thing happens. No erection

In 2012, I spent the whole year going to church everyday. Nothing happened. I have stopped now and accepted my fate.

Only my best friend knows about this, he keeps saying its not a spiritual condition but medical condition due to the fact that I started
masturbating right since I was 17.

He says I might have had the issue right before the prostitute encounter. Sometimes he says that it is a psychological condition.

But the thing is, how can a young boy of 20 then have Erectile dysfunction due to masturbation.
Many young boys masturbate and nothing happened to them.

I was sad for a while, but now it seems I have accepted my fate. This issue have made me focus on my studies and business and now, at 26. I have finished my BSC, and my MSC

Whenever I am Hot, I masturbate and I think that has worsened my issue. I have been masturbating since 2011 when this happened

Lots of order thing happens in between that confuses me. Like 2 years after the prostitute encounter, when I was in my 3rd year, one beautiful edo girl who really loved me was making out with me and flirting around me and I got a rock solid erection 100%. Very hard. Also, in 2014. A girl who liked me came to my house and she was flirting with me, though she didn't plan on having sex with me. Only the flirting alone made me hard. The erection was 70% hard. But then, those are the only occurrences.

Whenever I watch porn, I get semi erection - say about 60% hard.

Whenever I jerk my joystick, it gets hard - about 80% and within minutes, it deflates again.

Lot of different things have happened along the line which is too much to type. Long and short, I don't get erections when I wakeup again. I used to before all this issues.

Or is it the excess sugar I take, or the belly fat I have gotten due to the way I eat carelessly and spend on myself. (Since I don't have any woman to cater for) that is the cause.

Is it spiritual, medical or psychological?

Is it due to masturbation? Is it an infection?

Because I can remember in late 2012 or early 2013. When I tried to urinate, I had and felt a sharp pain.

I happened for about 2 days and stopped by itself.

I am getting older and my mother is already reminding me about marriage. I don't think I will marry until this issue is resolved. I can't
subject any woman to emotional pain.

At some point, I thought I was gay, but I am in no way attracted to men. But I am attracted to women. I tried watch transgender porn to confirm if I was gay (since I couldn't stand real gay porn). I actually got aroused and had a mild erection. But come on, transgenders are women who just have a joystick.

I have put up my issues on a foreign site (because other people who have put up their problems on nairaland gets abused, mocked, insulted and bullied) and I was advised by the whites to see a doctor and counselor. They didn't even understand what I meant by spiritual issue. But they have been very concerned and helpful

I don't need to see any counselor because my case would confuse who ever I tell.

I have been living in pains. No sex life and no real social life. I keep falling out with female friend because I don't make any move towards them.

I keep falling out with male friends, because they keep wondering "why this their guy no dey nack woman like them". They feel I am weird because they 100% know I am not gay and wonder why a normal guy will be avoiding women like this.

I hope my issue is resolved.

But if its not, I would live the rest of my life like this. Probably keep on masturbating and never get married.

It might actually be my excessive masturbation that might be the cause of this. I don't really know. Only God knows.

I am depressed. But suicide is not an option for me. God forbid.

awakeuche:
and I've never taken it before, let me put down orders.... You sell?

TundeHashim:
most sensible reply ever..thumbs up bro..you're the best!

Uchefrancis16:
Hello helpforever you are not alone.

Glad I came across this. As a friend of mine was exactly in the same situation as u. And glad he is very fine now and I mean very fine.

Started masturbating at a tender age far less than urs (guess 14 or there about) and then at about 20, started suffering from weak errection and later to no errection at all. Even the morning wood stopped coming.

According to him, his first encounter with a lady (his girlfriend - not a prostitute) was one time sex over a 3 days stay due to this problem as the erection managed to come only but a few times and not as strong too.

What I advice u to do, as this worked for him is to;


Relax. Get a girl and stay with her for days. While u are with her, let her understand what you're passing through trust me she will help give the calmness u need which will relax ur brain and get rid of performance anxiety.

Get a girl not prostitutes. Maybe u're not moved by them my friend.

Stop porn. Its messing with ur brain. And view of girls. Leaving you with what they call PIED (Porn induced erectile dysfunction)... Remember the feeling of not being able to even get a solid errection with a particular porn after jecking off with it a couple of time? That makes u go for another, higher/more rugged/romantic one instead? The brain is simply tired with that particular one and has elevated/increased what triggers you making it impossible for that same porn to trigger you except u leave it entirely and watch it again after months have passed and ur brain has been reset.

This things get you addicted to porn and makes ur brain feel nothing for real women/girls. And even if you do, the penis is so dam weak that it can't even penetrate a lady or lift ur boxers.

Having read all of the above, the best thing for u is to go on a challenge of 6 months without porn. http://yourbrainonporn.com will be of help.

Just delete all porn, stop watching any movie with sex and romantic scenses (since most movies does, listen to music and forget movies entirly), quit being alone as that can make u think sex and then make u masturbate. focus on solving ur issues and trust me, mastubation go use him hand run.

Then get a loyal lady who understands you and loves u for whom u are my friend. She will help u deal with anxiety. It may take 6 months, 12 months 2 years depending on how bad porn has damaged ur brain but the thing u should be after is the fact that u will be fine eventually.

My friends own took 6 months after which he went to a girl, had slight erection and went back to his challenge for another 6 months withoutbporn or masturbation. Instead he worked on having girls around, thinking about having sex with them, not porn and actually having sex with them.

Do indoor exercises at least 30 minutes daily and make sure u sweat Weller. Also search for exercises for weak erection and add it to. YouTube is ur friend bro.

Then see a doctor if you could to rule out any medical condition.

As for my friend, his problem was solved cos he shared it. And we both went in together looking for solution. In case u don't know, I was into porn too. But was brave enough to dispose the act on time.

My friend bangs this his girl friend like four times a day now wen she comes visiting or vice versa. My man is loyal to her for being loyal and understandable and from the best of my knowledge, masturbation is a thing of the past for him.

START BY QUITING PORN... you can do this by first deleting all the available once. Starve ur phone of internet data, use Nokia touch, quit being alone, spend less time in the bathroom/toilet, think about ur problem and its effects on u etc. Best of luck bro and quit believing ur problem is spiritual. ONCE U FEEL LIKE MASTUBATING, RUB PEPER OR CHINEESE BALM FOR HAND... UR PENIS GO LEAVE U. if him no leave u, touch am small with am the konji go run.

OmaniPadmeHum:
Hahahaha

YOU ONLY HAVE WHAT IS CALLED

"PERFORMANCE ANXIETY"

You panic and have conditioned your mind with that first incident. Your mind now sees sex as something that you would fail at and that would be embarrassing.

IT IS NOT SPIRITUAL. Naaaaah. only in Nigeria do we make everything spiritual. Left alone we might still have thought small pox/chicken pox is caused by "Sopana" and that Thunder and Lightning by Sango. Look with all these spiritual bla bla we were taken as slaves for hundreds of years. Our Chief preists and juju could not protect our fore fathers. Some of the masks were even stolen and exhibited in Europe. The nonsense juju has not been able to burn down London. No mysterious plague has befallen them. We were colonized for years too in Africa. No spirit could help us or our fore fathers.

It is purely psychological. You have been psychologically scarred due to the experience at the brothel. You feel you are going to fail again and again. Now anything that has to do with sex practically scares you and your body has learnt a rather "silly" way to react to sex. Infact, subconsciously, your mind sees sex as a fight or flight thing. It is sexual anxiety and perhaps panic attacks. It is very normal and not spiritual. Nope.

Unfortunately, your WAFTS (worries, anxieties, fears, thoughts and sensations) are things you have tried to fight off over and over again. Compounding the issue. Your mind now sees sex as a battle and gets your body to fight/flee. instead of allowing you get on.

LISTEN, WE ALL GET ANXIOUS DURING SEX. ALL OF US. MEN AND WOMEN ALIKE. ALL. But our anxieties, anxiety levels and how we have trained our body to manage them, makes a difference. Take masturbation for instance. Some people do it and suffer premature ejaculation as a result of it. This is because when this habit was learnt (most times at teenage years) , they had to do it quickly and get done so they won't be caught. This usually starts at a young age and then is often made a habit which the body adopts. Their body gets addicted to quick ejaculation. Meanwhile some guys had time and were so comfortable with it. There learnt it without being in a hurry and ejaculation was not the thing but enjoying the time spent. They now suffer from prolonged erection and can only ejaculate when they masturbate. They are only senitve to matrubation and not the feel of a them in a woman.

For you, you probably immediately started avoiding the things that embarrassed you and found another quick fix. Masturbation, Porn etc. All these still communicated to your brain that you need to "RUN AWAY FROM SEX!!! IT WILL EMBARRASSING AND YOU WILL FAIL"!!! It is like having insomnia and instead of allowing sleep to come naturally, you decide to take pills or use other stuff like sleeping tea, alcohol etc. They will work for a while, but soon their effects will be useless to the point of not working at all.

It is a flight or flight thing. Your body sees sex as something you would fail at. Let me ask, Can you get an erection when in danger? When fighting with someone or fleeing from danger? Nope. (unless you have trained your body/psyche to remain calm). During fight or flight response, your body removes blood from places like the stomach, sex organs etc and send to the brain and muscles preparinging them for danger. How can you get an erection when due to that first traumatic experience, you feel that you might fail again and you worry about how embarrassing it would be.

That one experience made you worry little by little and you took actions (unknowingly) that made matters worse psychologically. You sound like a worrier by nature. Lol. Unfortunately our brain is very silly and does not know the difference between real and perceived danger. If we worry too much about something, our brain tries to protect us by throwing all manner of things (thoughts etc) that can go wrong for us to act on them. When we worry and worry our brain even sends sensations like fast heart beats, sweaty palms, feeling dizzy, butterflies in the stomach etc. But keeping calm, noticing these WAFTS, and mindfully letting them go/be while calmly doing what you are doing whenever this happens helps to reassure your brain that all is cool and calm.

YOU WILL HAVE TO UNLEARN YOUR CURRENT WAY YOUR BODY RESPONDS AND RELEARN THE RIGHT WAY TO RESPOND. YOU WILL HAVE TO TEACH YOUR BODY TO RESPOND MINDFULLY TO THE FEARS, WORRIES AND ANXIETIES.

What book on Acceptance and Commitment/Mindfulness can I suggest to you....

Let me see....

Will look for something.

EternalBeing:
Tackle it medically first, and spiritually. Go for medicals and if they said it not a medical problem, the earlier you go to MFM Church for Deliverance to fire that arrow of impotence back to the sender the better for you.
Excesive mastubation caused this permanent damage. Sex is addictive and it has been scientifically proven that excesive sex make people duller and less productive. devil knows this and use this to waste so meny glorious Destinies. There are 2 bloods in Man; the red blood cell erythrocytes carries life-oxygen, the white blood cell lymphocytes carries your protection and defence (spiritually too). Spam is cells; white blood cell. The more you waste it unnecessarily, the more defenceless you (and your Glory) become to microbes and even spiritual scavengers.
I've not seen any one that genuinely totally submitted to GOD and regret it later, unless those self-deceiving Christians.
Like myself, most of my genuine Christian mates are doing fine now.
Unless you are married, abstainance makes you spitually Strong and invincible.
To run away from sin is not a favour to GOD but a sure protection for your Glory and Destiny.

tosyne2much:
Even we wey our joystick no dey use ear take hear woman gan no get who we go use am on #Irony of life#

I pray you find solution to your problem bro

tosyne2much:
Even we wey our joystick no dey use ear take hear woman gan no get who we go use am on #Irony of life#

I pray you find solution to your problem bro

gnykelly:
you should offer him a nice Mouth Action before concluding.

Tuham:
kikikikiki
Upon all the babes wey dey flock around you for NL?
Kwantinue brother